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Samir Nasri demands immediate £1.5m loss bonus 0
Lenny Bee 11.05.13 7:07pm
Lenny Bee
God submits to rationalism. Universe to close next Wednesday. 0
sredni vashta 11.05.13 6:53pm
sredni vashta
Party Invitation

You are cordially invited to an exclusive party this evening at the old BBC Staff restaurant in West Kensington. This invitation is only open to former BBC employees who starred in popular radio and...

blacklesbianandproudofit 11.05.13 6:03pm
Tory Cuts Forcing NHS To Employ Ex-Boxers......

..In place of anaesthetists...

Jesse Bigg 11.05.13 4:52pm
Jesse Bigg
Tories So Desperate To Win Next Election, Advocate The Bringing Back ....

of the coalman. "You can't beat a bit of nutty slack."...

Jesse Bigg 11.05.13 4:32pm
Jesse Bigg
Hooray for Hollywood! The Newsbiscuit Guide to the Summer Blockbusters!

It's that time of year again! The summer is finally here! The days are getting longer, the wasps are back and Hollywood's brightest stars come out to shine! So hold on tight, strap on and let us be...

phil_smith 11.05.13 3:44pm
11 year old's to sit new grammar and punctuation test more soon. 1
dominic_mcg 11.05.13 3:35pm
Nadine Dorries pulled alive into the wreckage of Tory party after 7 months 5
Not Amused 11.05.13 1:54pm
Today's football coverage

12:45 Live coverage of the Barclays Premier League BIG Match as relegation threatened Aston Villa take on going for Europe Chelsea. Available in HD, 3D. 15:00 Live coverage of the Clydesdale Bank...

blacklesbianandproudofit 11.05.13 12:58pm
Germany, France, Italy, Spain and Greece show their support for UKIP. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.05.13 12:52pm
Pakistani landmark election cancelled as landmark collapses. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 11.05.13 12:45pm
Girls: Seven surefire ways to lose weight - GUARANTEED!

1. Have a big shit, 2. Do a wee, 3. Cut your hair very short, 4. Pick your nose thoroughly, 5. Remove dirt from beneath fingernails and fluff from bellybutton, 6. Trim finger and toenails...

Terry 11.05.13 12:37pm
Darth Vader disappointed by the results of Death Star Employee Engagement Survey 4
Ian Searle 11.05.13 12:37pm
Ian Searle
Farage assures floating Labour voters - “We're miles left of Genghis Khan"

oh I dunno....

Lenny Bee 11.05.13 11:56am
Lenny Bee
Desmond Tutu votes UKIP

Hot on the heals of their local election triumph, UKIP have received a ringing endorsement from the elder, statesmen of South African politics. Having lost faith with the ANC, Archbishop Desmond...

Wrenfoe 11.05.13 11:53am
"UKIP objects to Ewok invasion"

More later...

Wrenfoe 11.05.13 11:53am
Ferguson to lead Man City out at Wembley 0
reforse 11.05.13 11:21am
man who runs Police drugs incenerator unit "looooves" his job. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 11.05.13 11:10am
Al OPecia
Barbie to get world's first printed 3D bra. 1
weematt 11.05.13 10:35am
National Printed Rifle Association claims the right to print arms.

another in the NPRA series...

weematt 11.05.13 10:23am
Elderly Can't Wait To House Prisoners

Convicted murderers, sex offenders, and terrorists will be used as ‘live in’ companions to help out retirees under a radical new homestay scheme starting next month. Every pensioner with a spare...

brianflan 11.05.13 9:31am
Revolutionary ear wax transplants reduce divorce rate

Men under the age of 40 are to receive breakthrough ear wax transplant treatment through the NHS in an attempt to reduce the burgeoning UK divorce rate. Recent studies, commissioned by a...

QorbeQ 11.05.13 9:31am
Sunburn lotion now available in blister pack. 0
weematt 11.05.13 8:52am
Garden Centre News: Patio umbrellas put tables in the shade. 0
weematt 11.05.13 8:47am
Calls For Ban On Fully-Automatic, Self-Loading Assault Printers. 3
Titus 11.05.13 7:28am
Man signs e-petition for something, feels much better

48 year old Colin Taylor of Eastleigh is said to feeling ‘considerably more positive’ about his life, after entering his email address into a small box for an online petition last Tuesday. The...

Skylarking 11.05.13 4:22am
Man dies doing something he ‘fucking hated.’

Family and friends of the late Emile Jones have publicly bemoaned the fact that he didn’t have the decency to die while he was doing something he loved or even vaguely enjoyed. At a church service...

malgor 10.05.13 9:28pm
Council worker four years from retirement still enjoys job

Outrage met news that Gavin Campbell, a civil servant for Manchester City Council actually liked his job despite being four years away from retirement. The civil servant who does something to do...

andrewl81 10.05.13 8:29pm
Old Bailey to be refurbished for clinical trials. 0
Maverick 10.05.13 8:05pm
Russian cosmonaut blushes when asked if he can smell ammonia. 0
Maverick 10.05.13 8:00pm