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Fear that man flu may reach epidemic levels next Tuesday 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Riot at Ford prison ends after warders issue urgent recall 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Radical update sees Archbishop launch King Jamie Bible 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sad git ‘watched computer calendar change at midnight’. More soon. 2
malgor 3 years
Van Gogh has posthumous ear transplant. 0
Trickster 3 years

Fans wish him a Happy New Ear...

MI6 confirm Licence to Kill to go up 8% to £235/year (if paid by Direct Debit) 1
bonjonelson 3 years

(Roger) More soon...

Most Americans see nothing wrong in Uncle Rupert buying out BSKYB 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Chris Jefferies debuts new hairstyle 0
Trickster 3 years

The TV Star steps out with his famous hair dyed a bright turquoise and says its just for the boys in blue...

Citibank outsources sending of critical emails to spammers 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Many hopeful the New Year will bring a slower decline in their life 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Millions survive new year, despite government warnings 0
dogwheels 3 years

Despite warnings from the government, trades unions and soothsayers, millions of people have survived the transition from 2010 to 2011. Predictions for the new year ranged from 'terrible' to 'a...

Detectives fly to Miami to quiz Eddie Murphy about the Nutty professor 1
Malcum eggs 3 years
Police in Bristol murder case ask magistrates for 'five more minutes' 1
Bravenewmalden 3 years

'We're [i]that[/i] close", said DCI John Liddell. "He's come close to admitting it a couple of times. Once he said 'Alright, I did it - NOT!' Then later he said 'OK, I'm guilty - at leaving the...

Jeffries the killer as he once had blue hair 12
Trickster 3 years

"Chris Jefferies had blue hair as a student, which proves he is a killer," says leading forensic police hair colour expert. "Basically it all goes back to the Khmer Rouge in Thailand, who had red...

B 4
Malcum eggs 3 years
Frankie Boyle refuses to buy "David buys Elton a sex toy for Christmas "gag 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Attorney General Says There Must Be No Media Witch Hunt. 2
Dun Dunkin 3 years

"If anyone is to mess up an open and shut case it should be us at the CPS"...

Scary Spice admits sleeping with the Nutty professor 7
Malcum eggs 3 years
Council bans new year celebrations so as not to offend the Chinese community 0
ronseal 3 years

Kingston Council's diversity Csar Kevin Simpkins has defended his decision to ban new year celebrations in the borough, as it could offend John Ho, who is Kingston's chinese community and might...

Ed Miliband to take 2011 as a gap year. 1
deskpilot3 3 years

It'll save time for everyone. Win win...

Nigerian 419 spam email bomb threat, do not open this message! 0
Trini 3 years
Chris Jeffries: suspicions aroused, speculations confirmed, job done... 1
Doylem 3 years

Trevor Stoddard, a neighbour, “had had a funny feeling” about Jeffries. Mr Stoddard, harnessing the awesome power of hindsight and unsubstantiated speculation, noted that “He looked like the...

Foggy conditions leave BMW drivers 'confounded' 12
Bravenewmalden 3 years

The fog which descended over large parts of the country didn't pose much of a problem for most of Britain's motorists - they just slowed down and turned their foglights on. But this last option...

'Joanna Yeates' neighbour interviewed by police'... 0
victory V 3 years

"He lives alone and owns a cat", explained a spokesman...

Mugabe voted "Anagram of the Decade". Sore Moon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
To make porn films more realistic, ‘plumbers’ must now be CORGI-registered... 8
Doylem 3 years
Leading US Creationists claim that Sod's Law is "just a theory" 5
bonjonelson 3 years

(more soon)...

Loners with morals more normal if they were part of a gang that sold drugs 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

That would make them less suspicious...

Emergency! Tough 2011 For 2-Mansion Dave.... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Has to pay the servants an extra £1 a year; plus a banking crisis in early New Yearno more Ashes hols...

Police say Barry George 'on stand-by' for Bristol murder investigation 2
roybland 3 years

elementary my dear Watson...