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Church of England officials today announced that they would be scrapping their religion in favour of a nice mature Cheddar., Earlier reports that Edam or even a smelly Brie might be used, were...

Trumpet 04.10.13 10:59pm
Charity Feature: Stop Clubbing Orphan Baby Seals with Cancer – give now

You have no mother and father. You are seriously ill and in pain. And you face violent death at the hands of a highly skilled hunter. That is the cruel hand that life has dealt you, if you are an...

Sir Lupus 04.10.13 10:42pm
Sir Lupus
Winchester couple "appalled" to be sent a portrait of Margaret Thatcher. 0
Al OPecia 04.10.13 8:39pm
Al OPecia
Afghan cricket team demands right to bring 78 replacement outfielders in squad. 0
Al OPecia 04.10.13 7:31pm
Al OPecia
Salmond announces nuclear deterrent will be replaced by men wearing woad. 0
Al OPecia 04.10.13 7:13pm
Al OPecia
'We've got enough money to move the sun' claim Qatar 2022 World Cup organisers 0
custard cream 04.10.13 6:40pm
custard cream
Daily Mail Disaster: Dacre buys a mirror. 0
Al OPecia 04.10.13 6:18pm
Al OPecia
Mail denies "Hoorah for the Blackshirts" headline has "a whiff" of anti-semitism 0
Ref Minor 04.10.13 5:35pm
Ref Minor
For No One

Neat-O (Bit of a distorted pun but I like the tune and the album.)...

Titus 04.10.13 5:12pm
Overweight mathematician admits sqrt(-1) 2^3 Σ Π 14
Smart Alex 04.10.13 4:52pm
Lens Cap
Muslim Free School Needs To Be Muslim Free Say Ofsted

Moorish Soon...

Flugelbinder 04.10.13 4:39pm
Rooney night terrors as he cannot tell if his eyes are closed in the dark

Wayne Rooney has come out explaining that he has begun to suffer from serious anxiety issues and insomnia, because in the dark at night, he cannot tell if his eyes are open or not, his fears...

TobiasBV 04.10.13 4:36pm
Obama promises to kill Binladin a few more times

President Obama, in hopes of regaining the good-faith of his people, promised today that he would find and kill Osama Binladin at least three more times during his current term in office. This coming...

TobiasBV 04.10.13 4:33pm
Horror after traces of meat found in meat 0
Dumbnews 04.10.13 3:48pm
Daily Medieval exposes King Edward III as 'the man who hunted bitterns' 0
Oxbridge 04.10.13 3:00pm
Author Dedicates Work to Diary Writing Idol - "It's For Nin" 0
Flugelbinder 04.10.13 2:59pm
Man Complains About NewsBiscuit: 'Real News Is Much Sillier'. 1
Titus 04.10.13 2:56pm
Nursery shutdown continues amid childish feud

It is now 4 days since the feud between nursery class 2A and 2B brought the United State Nursery to a complete shutdown. The decision on how to allocate Lego blocks remained at a stalemate after the...

tomholder 04.10.13 2:55pm
Train Near-miss Cyclist comes forward - But back-pedals very quickly 0
Flugelbinder 04.10.13 2:55pm
Local man bemoans ubiquity of online porn...

Carl Greening ends the day like so many other days: wiping his browsing history with a weary sigh, before closing up his laptop. Like many other porn-obsessed men he’s nostalgic for more innocent...

Tripod 04.10.13 2:38pm
FIFA task force to report on Qatar world cup options by 2023 0
John Wiltshire 04.10.13 1:49pm
John Wiltshire
Indian restaurant closed down for selling fake flatbread 3
charlies_hat 04.10.13 1:26pm
Nice not to see you: to not see you - NICE!!

And a great relief...

John Wiltshire 04.10.13 1:20pm
John Wiltshire
Body tackling "generational unemployment" interviews family in Windsor

The government agency charged with dealing with chronic welfare dependency in families has begun studying a spectacular case in the South of England. The unidentified household is reported to have...

sydalg 04.10.13 1:05pm
God tells mathematicians to go forth and multiply 0
sydalg 04.10.13 12:49pm
Westminster traffic wardens applaud Washington's handling of unruly motorists

The Chief Supervisor of Westminster Council’s traffic wardens, Mr. U. Cantparkthere, was fulsome in his praise of how the American Capital’s Traffic Enforcement department deal with defiant...

cinnahmon 04.10.13 12:03pm
'Three-quarters of my penis is still technically a virgin' brags Johnson

In strange news, Boris Johnson has come out with a series of statements claiming he is, shall we say, [i]well endowed[/i]. Toward the end of a recent press conference, Johnson is said to have...

TobiasBV 04.10.13 10:51am
Politician who wants Ministry of Funny Handshakes denies he is a Freemason 0
sydalg 04.10.13 10:30am
Children taught new thing show better results than when they weren't taught it

The Department of Education today released figures for the tests for 5 and 6 year olds showing an improvement over last year and the year before., Ministers praised the improvement in toddlers...

Not Amused 04.10.13 10:27am
Not Amused
Mark Thatcher Denies That His Mother Hated Leon Brittan

He stated that the allegation had arisen from a mis-reading of a diary entry in which she wrote that she wasn't very keen on Brighton...

paulo 04.10.13 10:27am