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115 Cardinals Perish In Vatican Fire Tragedy

"We saw the smoke" say Vatican staff "But we didn't realise "...

Titus 13.03.13 5:18pm
Actual Size
Pope vote goes to extra time, penalties 2
FlashArry 13.03.13 5:13pm
Actual Size
Government: We'll deal with cheap alcohol, cocaine, herion, whatever is to hand 0
Not Amused 13.03.13 5:03pm
Not Amused
New Guinness book record. Complete circuit of IKEA in 4 minutes flat.

Don't blame me. Boutros started it...

weematt 13.03.13 4:34pm
Hairy Cornflake probed by Food Standards Agency for ‘serial offences’... 0
Tripod 13.03.13 3:57pm
DLT arrest an elaborate Gotcha. Edmonds in hiding as he fails to see funny side. 0
MADJEZ 13.03.13 3:52pm
Big swing to Lib Dems in prison showers 2
sydalg 13.03.13 3:26pm
Vatican department shares Rome palazzo with gay sauna

BBC infiltrated by Newsbiscuit headline writer

camz 13.03.13 2:20pm
Coup d'etat suspected in vatican as cardinals elect Pope Mohammed the First 0
Scronnyglonkle 13.03.13 1:41pm
TV Review: Papal Apprentice

An uninspiring first week. The task was to search the conclave of cardinals for homosexuals, and burn them at the stake. Neither Team "Synod of Whitby" nor Team "Diet of Worms" found more than a...

GreyWolf 13.03.13 1:09pm
Welsh aquatic wrestling hero ‘I will go on’

News that sporting hero Owen Davies will continue his shallow water wrestling career has been greeted with total indifference by bathing children everywhere. Owen greeted fans at Cardiff airport...

theinvisiblecitychannels 13.03.13 12:42pm
World's Debt Actually Less Than 10% Of What We Thought

Ahead of the budget, our Investigations Team has been working on what is actually owed by each country - and to whom. Helping us was a retired maths teacher (who can't be named because the court...

Flash! Aa-aaaa! 13.03.13 12:23pm
Flash! Aa-aaaa!
New pope foams at mouth, vows to serve Satan 0
sydalg 13.03.13 12:15pm
Protestors try to get 'Windmills of your mind' removed from Thomas Crown Affair 0
Ian Searle 13.03.13 12:11pm
Ian Searle
Black smoke heralds election of Pope Peter II 0
medici2471 13.03.13 12:04pm
Blind faith and ancient traditions keep Vatican fires ablaze...

For centuries the choosing of a new pope has followed long-standing traditions. The stove in the Sistine Chapel is customarily fuelled by the unread pleas of children abused by Catholic priests....

Tripod 13.03.13 12:04pm
Alcohol minimum pricing dropped

Commons bar regulars rejoice...

camz 13.03.13 11:52am
Black smoke to continue until all child abuse evidence destroyed 1
medici2471 13.03.13 11:01am
Responsible drinker "must have eaten something" 0
Drylaw 13.03.13 10:33am
Carbon monoxide kills 115 in Rome, faulty chimney thought to be cause.

At the scene fire-fighter Domenico Azzini said the tragedy could have been avoided “It appears as though they were burning bits of papers in an open fire and using a poorly maintained chimney, what...

theinvisiblecitychannels 13.03.13 10:19am
'Refugee camps not as busy as I'd expected' says Charles

Thousands of refugees have fled back across the border into Syria following reports that Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall were on their way to visit them., Refugee camps were said to be...

Gerontius 13.03.13 10:15am
Police apologise to Chris Huhne for faulty speed camera

Essex police admitted today that the camera that supposedly caught Chris Huhne speeding in 2003 was 'faulty.' Sergeant Humberside of the Essex police explained that the M11 camera had been...

Terry 13.03.13 10:00am
Midnight Dreary
Cardinal Sin elected as new Pope

Following the election of Cardinal Sin this morning a Vatican spokesman admitted that the name was "a tad unfortunate", but insisted that it would not be a problem as Popes can always take on a new...

blacklesbianandproudofit 13.03.13 9:59am
Vatican embraces modern society as Pope to be elected by SMS voting

With no preferiti acknowledged for this year's Papal Election, Carmalengo Mancisi, assistant to the former Pope has announced that the Vatican will modernise the process and pick the pope using a...

acwanaut 13.03.13 9:44am
Child abuse figures drop as cardinals locked in session 0
Scroat 13.03.13 9:41am
Move along - nothing to see here 0
Smart Alex 13.03.13 9:21am
Smart Alex
Vatican wood-burning stoves to be converted to smokeless fuel... 0
Tripod 13.03.13 9:03am
Vatican stoves 'inadequate' in cold weather says Which?

Older people are being warned that the currently popular Vatican Stoves will not adequately heat their homes during cold weather. 'The stove has recently received a lot of television advertising,'...

roybland 13.03.13 8:53am
Worker off work for work-related stress sacked...

[i]because he didn't seem that stressed when he was off work[/i] =) This one is actually true ^^ Sick leave shark wrestler is sacked,

GordonChen 13.03.13 8:33am
Tesco bullshit found to contain 23% horse shit

Tesco has confessed to finding significant quantities of horse shit in its bullshit. A spokesman for the supermarket that offers "big savings on hundreds of products", tells customers that "every...

nickb 13.03.13 3:43am
Gary Gonads