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NHS Haggis Shortage Shuts Scottish Burns Unit 0
Mathna 28.01.12 11:23pm
Mathna
Newt Gingrich’s Head To Apply For Statehood

Following the the Republican candidates declaration that once 13,000 Americans live on the Moon they can attempt to become a state the colony that resides on his head believe they should too., The...

0
Hooch 28.01.12 11:19pm
Hooch
Robber demands, "Give me all the money or Ill write a negative review on Yelp" 0
Dumbnews 28.01.12 7:54pm
Dumbnews
Czech sex predator allowed into UK says thanks.

Kajus Scuka, 48, who carried out a string of sex attacks after coming to Britain and claiming benefits, thanked UK immigration officials for letting him in as things had recently dried up back home,...

3
Marko 28.01.12 5:27pm
Marko
CERN announce 'possible black hole' if Prof. Brian Cox's head implodes

Scientists at CERN have revealed that fears of them creating a black hole where not totally unfounded however it would not be as a result of the Large Hadron Collider. The creation of the black hole...

5
Perks 28.01.12 2:54pm
dvo4fun
Supermarket mayhem

There was carnage yesterday when short sighted pensioner Ethel Greenwood, 78, took a wrong turn with her shopping trolley, knocking down a carefully displayed stack of beans and a 'buy one get one...

2
Marko 28.01.12 2:33pm
beau-jolly
Sheep in Wolves clothing is actually a Villa fan 0
Marko 28.01.12 1:21pm
Marko
Banks Boss Blasts Bullsh@tters

RBS boss, Stephen Hester, is speaking to lawyers, claiming defamation of character, as his payout was not £1 million as widely reported, but actually the modest sum of £963,000...

3
Marko 28.01.12 12:40pm
Keen marksman Anton Ferdinand receives bullet in post from caring fan.

'They even carved my name in it, such a personal gift' said the appreciative footballer. More soon...

2
MADJEZ 28.01.12 12:15pm
MADJEZ
Scotland Drops Bid To Leave UK After Application To Join Brunei Denied 0
Textbook 28.01.12 10:47am
Textbook
Shopping Trolley Shocker for pensioner

Birmingham pensioner Ethel Greenwood, 78, was shocked to receive a notification of 3 points and a £60 fine when her shopping trolley was clocked at 36mph in a 30 zone., Ethel had been taking her...

1
Marko 28.01.12 10:11am
John Ffitch-Rucker
RBS launch 'Fred Goodwin charity card'

On the day HBOS decided to pull their charity card saying it is not a cost effective of giving to charity, RBS have announced they are to start their own charity credit card. The 'Fred Goodwin...

3
Perks 28.01.12 10:10am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Procul Harem deny calling for sharia law in Nigeria.

We just called for another drink...

0
John Ffitch-Rucker 28.01.12 10:05am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Celebrity Food critic found safe and well

Police have confirmed that pudding and pies connoisseur Jack Horner, missing for 24 hours, has been found safe and well, sat in a different corner., Horner, 4, is believed to have been having...

1
Marko 28.01.12 9:49am
Marko
Pippa Epedemic Predicted

Experts are predicting a sudden upsurge in parents naming their newborn daughters Pippa following last year’s royal wedding. In what is commonly known as the 'Kylie Effect', parents are expected...

5
LizzyG 28.01.12 9:28am
godly1966
Man wins a monkey at William Hill 'bet and pet' night

In a daring bid to get children gambling from an earlier age, William Hill has begun trial evenings termed 'bet and pet' nights. Parents who have no one to watch their child while they gamble, forgot...

2
kga6 28.01.12 9:12am
dvo4fun
F1 boss 'catalyst' for human genome research

Today the International Human Genome Sequencing Consortium has made the startling revelation that the only reason it started to look at and map the human genome was because of a chance meeting...

2
Perks 28.01.12 9:07am
dvo4fun
Somali pirates blame 'Health and Safety gone mad' for downturn.

Pirates operating off the coast of Somalia have blamed "Overregulation" and an over-zealous attitutde to enforcement of Health and Safety rules for their recent lack of success in major piracy...

11
bonjonelson 28.01.12 9:00am
dvo4fun
Apple launches iVinyl Store in bid to end Vinyl sharing

Apple's launch of its long-awaited iVinyl Store has been welcomed by the music industry as a solution to the problem of Vinyl sharing. 'It's a great day for us,' said a spokesman for Sony...

1
roybland 28.01.12 8:43am
Brian Cox to present "Wonders of the Olympics" 1
Sinnick 27.01.12 10:14pm
Drylaw
Agility dog catches thief on obstacle course.

Persistent small time thief, Ronnie Allsop, has been detained and charged after trying to outwit an agility trained dog when snatching his owners purse. "i thought I could get away with it" said...

0
Al OPecia 27.01.12 9:06pm
Al OPecia
Murderers of man found shot, beheaded and set on fire accused of overkill. 1
John Ffitch-Rucker 27.01.12 7:58pm
kga6
"That's nearly as much as I got for an episode of HIGNFY"

Says an outraged Boris...

0
yussle 27.01.12 6:06pm
yussle
Celebrity food critic goes missing.

Police are concerned at the whereabouts of pie and pudding connossieur Jack Horner, who was last seen sat in a corner...

0
Marko 27.01.12 5:45pm
Marko
Red Hot Chili's

Peter Piper at large again as a peck of pickled peppers goes missing...

0
Marko 27.01.12 5:00pm
Marko
Controversial 'musical Austrian cellar' theme for Olympic ceremony 0
hughesroland 27.01.12 4:28pm
hughesroland
Cameron puts Clegg in charge of sorting chocolate oranges 0
cinquecento 27.01.12 4:17pm
cinquecento
RBS Chief has contract clause that allows bonus to be paid in Children's Teeth

Royal Bank of Scotland (RBS) boss Stephen Hester is to receive a bonus of almost one million children's teeth. RBS announced on Thursday that Mr Hester is to get 963,000 children's teeth, the money...

5
SimonJJames 27.01.12 4:09pm
LizzyG
NASA 100m champion fails drug test after traces of A Steroid found in sample

would this be better as "Asteroid" ?...

2
charlies_hat 27.01.12 4:02pm
dvo4fun
New Duchy Originals fungi range praised as "Pretty f***ing trippy, man!" 0
Al McHogan 27.01.12 3:56pm
Al McHogan