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Relief as Nelson Mandela reveals he only gave up breathing for Lent 0
sydalg 01.04.13 11:20pm
Man Denies Microwave is ‘extra bedroom’

A man has been told to move house because his microwave is large enough to be classified ‘an extra bedroom.’ George Jorge, 58, an unemployed bricklayer from Halifax, installed the kingsize...

Thewoodenleg 01.04.13 11:16pm
Man with two intersecting cracks has hot cross bum 2
sydalg 01.04.13 10:56pm
Man cuts off own ‘sexist’ penis after reading Germaine Greer

A man called emergency services to report that he had cut off his own penis because it was ‘sexist.’ John Thomas, 65, of Cockermouth, Cumbria, was found in a distressed state and bleeding...

Thewoodenleg 01.04.13 10:45pm
Coach unmotivated to give team motivational speech 0
Dumbnews 01.04.13 10:35pm
National Rifle Association backs North Korea's right to bear arms

US gun lobby the NRA has backed North Korea's drive to perfect nuclear missiles, arguing that they the Second Amendment applies to them just as much as dumb rednecks and disillusioned schoolkids....

ianslat 01.04.13 9:09pm
Nick Griffin " I am fascist and racist, but I cannot condone Sunderland"

More later...

Scronnyglonkle 01.04.13 8:28pm
After losing three games in a row, Di Canio found swinging from lamp-post... 1
Tripod 01.04.13 8:06pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Sunderland change sponsor to Invest in Abasynia

Did I spell it right...

Scronnyglonkle 01.04.13 8:04pm
Man with huge nose and guilty conscience unable to look himself in the eye

..come on chaps I'm trying to get a little late bank holiday action going, even if it is just of the 'you can't post more than twice a day variety'...

blacklesbianandproudofit 01.04.13 7:38pm
France Soir: Kim Jong Un of PRK revealed as Kim Jong Quatre of Scotland

See yuuz Kimmy! Plus Kim Jongs bientôt...

BewsNiscuit 01.04.13 7:34pm
Gov't promises extra 'car wash-by-hand' facilities to house Bulgarian immigrants 1
Nowherefast 01.04.13 7:26pm
Scientists at CERN find gluons, muons and hadrons, but unable to get hard-ons 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.04.13 7:23pm
Suicide bomber foiled by first class health and safety risk assessment. 1
Al OPecia 01.04.13 7:23pm
Two Rent-Free Familes Discovered In Downing Street, With Spare Rooms Ago-go!

"How the hell did we miss those?," said a Westminster Council spokesperson...

Jesse Bigg 01.04.13 7:20pm
Sunderland fans snap up new replica black shirts 1
charlies_hat 01.04.13 6:39pm
Midfield Diamond
Muslim shoplifter found innocent on appeal unable 2 point finger at real culprit 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.04.13 6:36pm
Groundswell of Support For "Toss A Tory" Campaign... the next election., Thinks. 'And it all started at the Highland Games.'...

Jesse Bigg 01.04.13 6:30pm
Jesse Bigg
Shock Announcement: North Korea Agrees To Link Up With Disneyland.....

..For safety's sake...

Jesse Bigg 01.04.13 5:29pm
Jesse Bigg
Ex-Pope Benedict finds image of P45 on piece of toast. More soon.

Late, I know...

Al OPecia 01.04.13 5:19pm
Met Office Admits April 1st Was Actually A Lovely Warm, Bright Day

- "we lied in our forecasts to keep people indoors"...

Titus 01.04.13 4:01pm
Benefits Changes. 2 million people to evade paying Council tax for first time 0
brownpaperreporter 01.04.13 3:31pm
"That Joke" kept on hold for another day... 8
The All New Jeni B 01.04.13 1:43pm
New Who song: Hope I Die Before I Get Arrested In Operation Yewtree 2
sydalg 01.04.13 1:42pm
North Korea threatens "merciless reviews of off-Broadway shows". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 01.04.13 12:32pm
Al OPecia
North Korea threatens "very strong smelly wind breaking" at Demilitarized Zone. 0
Al OPecia 01.04.13 12:31pm
Al OPecia
Michael Gove 'is a 12-year-old schoolboy' sensation

The man who for over two years has been known as the Secretary of State for Education is in real life a 12-year-old schoolboy it has been revealed in one of the most sensational cases of identity...

roybland 01.04.13 12:28pm
Al OPecia
Liz and Charles in new series of Game of Thrones

Sky1 Thursday 9 pm., Liz has a dicky tummy again, but this time she is blindfolded and has to find the royal commodes among the 345 rooms of Buckingham Palace. Guess right and there will be a royal...

blacklesbianandproudofit 01.04.13 11:28am
Channel 5 issues apology after fat, sweaty bird reads the news 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 01.04.13 11:23am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lord McAlpine To Scan Your Brain For Paedo Suspicions

Well-known non-paedophile, Lord McAlpine, is to check inside the brain of all UK residents for any thoughts that he’s a kiddy-fiddler, and then financially ruin them, his solicitor Andrew Reid...

Matt T 01.04.13 10:44am