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Russia agrees exchange of the Greenpeace prisoners with Aleksandr Orlov Meerkat 0
Ian Searle 10.10.13 9:21am
Ian Searle
Higgs may have lost Higgs boson, if he or it ever existed

(An attempt to splice the best of the contributions from Iggy Pop Barker, Dan Beige, ronseal and sillybugger) Dr Peter Higgs, co-discoverer of the Higgs boson particle, has told reporters that he...

Oxbridge 10.10.13 9:19am
Man who criticised Vampires "gets it in the neck". 0
seymour totti 10.10.13 9:03am
seymour totti
BBC sell ad-space ‘in case Brucie dies on air’

The BBC have come under fire today as it is revealed they have begun taking bids from various commercial companies on ad-space which would potentially be cut to in the event that Bruce Forsyth dies...

TobiasBV 10.10.13 8:39am
Passenger lands plane after pilot collapses; Ryanair charge him for seat upgrade 3
Oxbridge 10.10.13 8:36am
SSE apologise for 8% price rise - 'it should have been much higher' 0
John Wiltshire 10.10.13 8:27am
John Wiltshire
FA to investigate Government accusations of badgers moving goalposts. 6
sredni vashta 10.10.13 7:44am
Mrs Higgs regrets asking her husband "What exactly is the matter?"

hat tip Ronseal...

sillybugger 10.10.13 7:42am
Higgs Boson Particle “Lost”

An embarrassed Peter Higgs, co-discoverer of the Higgs boson particle, confessed at a news conference today that he may not feel able to accept the Nobel Prize in Physics after the particle went...

Iggy Pop-Barker 10.10.13 7:12am
Woman leaving Argos store doesn't feel as if she's really been shopping

When Doris Fee (46) emerged from her local Argos store onto the pavement outside with a new toaster, she says she suddenly felt dejected and disorientated. 'I was carrying the toaster in its box and...

roybland 10.10.13 4:26am
Prof. Dave Boson snubbed 0
Not Amused 09.10.13 11:54pm
Not Amused
Tempers rise with still no agreed date for National Spontaneity Day. 0
Boutros 09.10.13 11:28pm
When are you going to put those bloody particles away, fumes Mrs Higgs

In her column in the Daily Mail today, Janet Street-Porter tells of the living hell that her friend Mrs Higgs went through when her childish husband became obsessed with particles. "Particle...

ronseal 09.10.13 10:55pm
Scientists uncertain if Nobel Prize for Physics actually awarded

Debate has erupted in scientific circles following the awarding of the Nobel Prize to particle physics pioneers Peter Higgs and Francois Englert. Celebrations were short-lived, as quantum physicists...

Dan Beige 09.10.13 10:08pm
Dan Beige
Al-qaeda discuss evasion techniques with Somerset badgers 0
FlashArry 09.10.13 9:39pm
Wilshire backs EDL training sessions to find improved back four

More soon I am sure there's a JT joke there somewhere...

Not Amused 09.10.13 8:46pm
Not Amused
Uk police chief solves case of his own mugging in just one hour

Proof today, as if it were needed, that the UK has the best law enforcement there is. Celebrated Birmingham police chief Bertie Plump reportedly managed to deduce that he had been mugged just one...

TobiasBV 09.10.13 8:20pm
"Everyone's facebook posts are annoying", says every facebook user 0
Dumbnews 09.10.13 7:35pm
BBC Minus 1 to show programmes “a day before they are finished”

BBC have announced its new “Minus 1” service - a new channel that shows programmes up to a day before they have been completed. "This shows the BBC's commitment to be ahead of the game,"...

nickb 09.10.13 6:58pm
Badgers' leader to give exclusive interview to BBC.. 0
Boutros 09.10.13 6:38pm
Carr: "It's Taken Me Months To Perfect My Fake Laugh"

no more, please...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 09.10.13 6:29pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Innovative vegetable grower wins novel peas prize 2
Smart Alex 09.10.13 6:24pm
MI5 Chief makes speech from undisclosed lavatory

The head of MI5, Mr Andrew McSmythe, made an impassioned speech from an unspecified lavatory, yesterday. His words echoed the Home Secretary’s in their defence of state secrets. And they also...

nickb 09.10.13 5:18pm
Russians 'Find' drugs on Greenpeace Ship

Russian investigators have reported finding hard drugs on board the Greenpeace ship seized last month during a protest in the Arctic. They also claimed to have found thousands of tons of soft drugs,...

Flugelbinder 09.10.13 3:37pm
Help to buy scheme extended to season tickets - bringing public transport to all

The government - being always quick to catch on to a vote-winner - is extending it's popular 'help to buy' scheme to those planning to buy an annual season ticket, meaning that potential 'first-time...

NewBiscuit 09.10.13 3:35pm
Wilshere positions himself for EDL top job

Having been marginalized by Arsene Wenger, since an influx of ‘one migrant German called Ozil’, Jack Wilshere has decided to declare his candidacy for the vacant leadership of the English Defence...

Wrenfoe 09.10.13 3:23pm
Jesus H
L'oreal funereal service - 'They were worth it' 0
JimHenson 09.10.13 3:00pm
Christmas To Be Moved To Summer To Avoid Clashing With Football

Also to improve safety for elderly nocturnal sleigh-drivers, with less snow on roofs. However one S Claus [an Eastern-European immigrant worker if ever there was one] has whinged that safety will...

Titus 09.10.13 2:54pm
Jesse Bigg
Channel 4 to broadcast Jellyfish Mating, "Box Sex" 0
james_doc 09.10.13 2:42pm
Richard II's Death, New Evidence

New historical evidence re Richard II's death in Pontefract Castle, Yorkshire, now proves beyond doubt that he died of a combination of early cricketing and Pontefract Cakes. Hence the runs...

Jesse Bigg 09.10.13 2:35pm
Jesse Bigg