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Man covered in tattoos needs more to express his stupidity 1
Dumbnews 12.09.13 10:37pm
Obama counts to four: declares thumb war

In an unprecedented act of unilateralism, president Barack Obama last night declared a thumb war. In an historic speech outside the white house the President stood fast behind the podium and began to...

doublepaulrice 12.09.13 9:52pm
Assad To Hand Over Poison Gas Which He 'Hasn't Got' Because Putin 'Asked Nicely

and absolutely not at all, of course, because the US has threatened strikes, says ever-truthful Assad...

Titus 12.09.13 9:31pm
Russia to join EU

Sources close to the European Commission president Jose Manuel Barroso confirmed last night that his prediction that UKip will win next year's European elections was designed to hasten the UK's exit...

Silver 12.09.13 9:18pm
Shock as creator of After Eight mints dies at 19:59 0
custard cream 12.09.13 8:10pm
custard cream
Sealed Knot society branches into Cyber wars to recreate DDOS attack on GCHQ

Members of war re-enactment cult The Sealed Knot are to recreate the famous Denial of Service digital attack on Britain's GCHQ. In a field outside Cheltenham, thousands of members will dress as data...

ronseal 12.09.13 7:27pm
NASA reveals Voyager now entering cold dark area devoid of atmosphere - Ventnor. 2
Al OPecia 12.09.13 7:23pm
Corporate Manslaughter leads to cheaper Season Tickets

While many sports' commentators assumed admission prices were determined by what percentage of Gareth Bale's body you owned, it transpires that the revenue needs of Football clubs are index-linked to...

Wrenfoe 12.09.13 7:22pm
Snow White to sue Mirror

Following revelations about phone hacking, nursery favourite Snow White announced her intention to sue the Mirror. In a statement released by her solicitors, she complained that for years she...

Coco 12.09.13 7:09pm
William prepares for life of listless idleness, starts talking to plants. 0
Al OPecia 12.09.13 7:05pm
Al OPecia
Dr. Phil authors book, 'Fix your life in a million simple steps' 0
Dumbnews 12.09.13 6:58pm
The beast

FOAD 12.09.13 6:56pm
Al OPecia
Church of Wales seeks new term to replace “bishopric”

Following today’s outbreak of equality, the Church of Wales is seeking a new, more inclusive, term to replace the old-fashioned “bishopric”. Rev Olwyn Thomas of Carmarthen, who led the...

Coco 12.09.13 6:19pm
Family overjoyed as England fan wakes from 48 hour coma 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 12.09.13 6:12pm
Gelatinous Blobfish Psychrolutes Marcidus Sues After Being Named World's Ugliest

"It's bad enough looking like that" said counsel for the fish in court today "without people pointing and shuddering. My client has been forced to leave his home and friends, and seek refuge several...

Titus 12.09.13 6:02pm
Surprise As Mirror Accused Of Phone Hacking - 'Didn't Know They Still Printed It 0
Titus 12.09.13 5:25pm
Welsh Church to vote on sheep bishops. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.09.13 4:57pm
Fears Prince William Military Exit will see him Drunk, Homeless by 2015

Prince Williams plans to leave the British Military has sparked fresh concerns that he could be living on the streets within 2 years. Anxious colleagues believe that the prince lacks the strong...

thisisall1word 12.09.13 4:43pm
God confirms that only atheists will go to heaven

In a move likely to cause some consternation amongst the World's religions, God has announced that only atheists will get to enjoy the eternal joy, and slight irritation at being proved wrong, of...

apepper 12.09.13 4:35pm
Assad not afraid of airstrikes. 'We've had time to hide everything now'. 0
MADJEZ 12.09.13 4:31pm
Atheists reassure the pope that he can go to hell 3
Backup Brian 12.09.13 4:30pm
Breakdancing crematorium flashmob fails to become viral internet meme.

Village vicar The Revd Pete Fraser is said to be devastated that his latest ‘viral’ video has failed to set the world of social media alight. The four minute clip was secretly filmed at the...

Skylarking 12.09.13 4:29pm
Gender equality at last as Bishops allow women into Wales 0
irreverendJ 12.09.13 4:27pm
Allah laughs as 3000 Korans burnt on 911. I still get a $2 royalty per copy. 2
MADJEZ 12.09.13 4:23pm
Rowling To Pen Rip/Spin Off Film

At this stage it is not known if the new film will be a spin off of Harry Potter, or the work of Tolkien. Rumours are that Rowling was last seen in a library furiously reading the complete works of...

Flugelbinder 12.09.13 3:37pm
PC Damages Foot Dropping Kerb Fall Compensation Claim 0
Flugelbinder 12.09.13 2:52pm
76% of statistics are made up on the spot, survey reveals. 0
Sfox 12.09.13 2:32pm
Involvement in large-scale drug ring sees Postman Pat facing 'lengthly sentence'

69-year-old Pat Clifton, known affectionately by millions as Postman Pat, is due to be sentenced next week for his role in one of the largest prescription drug trafficking operations in England,...

Jesus H 12.09.13 2:25pm
Jesus H
Prince Charles tested for irony deficiency after remarks on plight of unemployed 0
sydalg 12.09.13 1:53pm
Leaked email: what privatisation will mean for your postal service...

First class post will arrive next day. Or the day after that. Or the day after that.* Second class post will be held back for a few days - just to let customers know what ‘second class’ actually...

Tripod 12.09.13 12:45pm