Topic — Add New » Comments Votes Author Last Comment
House of Commons punch up results in "Eyes to the left, Nose to the right". 5
seymour totti 24.02.12 4:46pm
Qoxiivi
Abu Qatada visits Heathrow to wave-off Christopher Tappin 2
medici2471 24.02.12 4:33pm
Blackburn company hails success of teaspoon amnesty

Managers at Wingnut Express Ltd say they are delighted with the response in their two week teaspoon amnesty. Staff in the kitchen are now able to make a drink without needing to squeeze out a teabag...

0
grottymonty 24.02.12 1:09pm
grottymonty
Local authority exposes ‘coward’ who failed to save dog from frozen lake

A local authority has joined forces with emergency rescue services to expose a callous individual too ‘chicken-shit’ to risk life and limb by retrieving his partially-blind Springer Spaniel ‘Mr...

3
Gary Stanton 24.02.12 1:07pm
beau-jolly
Local authority exposes ‘coward’ who failed to save dog from frozen lake

A local authority has joined forces with emergency rescue services to expose a callous individual too ‘chicken-shit’ to risk life and limb by retrieving his partially-blind Springer Spaniel ‘Mr...

2
Gary Stanton 24.02.12 1:07pm
beau-jolly
Publicly owned bank loses £3.5bn

Have you checked all your pockets? asks public...

0
yussle 24.02.12 1:03pm
yussle
X-rated film maker from Lyme Regis charged with making Porn on the Cobb 0
Ian Searle 24.02.12 12:35pm
Ian Searle
Autopsy results reveal Houston died of winter vomiting bug....

disease renamed "Shitney Spewstons" in her honour...

0
Haywood Manley 24.02.12 12:21pm
Haywood Manley
Dumpty finally returns home from 'tremendous' autumn break in States 2
Haywood Manley 24.02.12 11:38am
Haywood Manley
Lloyds Bank makes £3.5 billion loss plus £100 overdraft fee 1
Duncan Biscuit 24.02.12 11:27am
bonjonelson
Somali government designates September 19th "Don't Talk Like a Pirate Day"

Addressing growing concerns among ordinary Somalis that they now have little or no say when it comes to participating in the annual twat-fest that is 'International Talk Like a Pirate Day', the...

2
Haywood Manley 24.02.12 10:16am
Haywood Manley
Syrian artillery to target Tunis 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.02.12 9:33am
Duncan Biscuit
Extradited Brit protests Iranian missiles were marked ‘Batteries not included' 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.02.12 9:32am
Duncan Biscuit
Bobby Brown releases controversial tribute song to Whitney "Hump in the ground" 0
Iamthestig 24.02.12 9:31am
Iamthestig
Newly-discovered moth with a taste for Chardonnay named Tipsy Moth 0
Duncan Biscuit 24.02.12 9:31am
Duncan Biscuit
Exotic banana identified in batch of venomous spiders.

Quarantine staff at Norwich International Airport were shaken this morning when a cargo of 300 highly poisonous arachnids was found to contain what appeared to be a ‘yellow crescent shaped fruit’...

14
Curbie Firetank 24.02.12 9:19am
button
Eric Joyce v David Haye in Tesco car park agreed by Sky box office 2
charlies_hat 24.02.12 9:19am
ronseal
Lack of grit in the workplace leads to council workers pay freeze 2
charlies_hat 24.02.12 9:03am
charlies_hat
Binge drinking MPs could face curfew and ban from travelling abroad

The unacceptable face of Parliamentary Hooliganism reared its ugly head again yesterday, with booze fuelled rival factions clashing in a House of Commons bar. The police say there was one arrest and...

3
ronseal 24.02.12 8:59am
Gourd Almighty
Apple to produce iOuijaBoard

In an attempt to tap into the lucrative market of dead teen technology fans, Apple are considering bringing out a touch-screen Ouija Board. An internal memo from Apple chief executive Tim Cook...

4
hughesroland 24.02.12 8:57am
hughesroland
Falkirk MP Eric Joyce suspended by his 'party equipment', not by his thumbs

More (Whips' punishment) soon OR MP Eric Joyce suspended by his 'party equipment', not by his party...

0
dvo4fun 24.02.12 8:37am
dvo4fun
Adele Cordoned off. 15
MADJEZ 24.02.12 8:20am
Scroat
Read tomorrow's NewsBiscuit jokes today in the new edition of Private Eye

Only £1.50...

3
Mandy Lifeboat 24.02.12 12:52am
Quaz
Rain God tells England to ‘dance for it proper.’

‘You want rain? You gotta show me your dancin’ feet!’ was the message earlier today from Rain God Steve. Directed primarily at the south-east corner of the UK, Steve’s booming voice caused...

2
malgor 24.02.12 12:52am
malgor
Astronomers warn that a sequel to Costners 'Waterworld' may exist

Astronomers have claimed the existence of a sequel to the 1995 Kevin Costner turkey "Water-world" could exist with its trademarked thick, dense and incomprehensible script. Astronomers and...

2
simonjmr 24.02.12 12:06am
Quaz
Lansley: "OK to abort if neither gender is wanted but not if ...err...hold on.."

More [joined up thinking] soon...

0
dvo4fun 23.02.12 11:57pm
dvo4fun
Other people definitely arseholes, say scientists

Scientists at the Public Research Institute of Clinical Knowledge believe they may have finally proved what many have long suspected, that other people are definitely arseholes. Lead author Dr John...

7
Teddy 23.02.12 11:52pm
Scroat
Financial crisis deepens - AA Milne downgraded to just A 1
Ian Searle 23.02.12 11:23pm
Username
CERN scientists forgot to carry the one

Evidence of faster-than light particles was quashed today when it was discovered that the lead scientist, Dr. Osborne, forgot to carry the one on the calculations.Cern released a statement today...

1
tomholder 23.02.12 11:13pm
Username
Gypsy woman puts curse on people who stereotype gypsies

A local gypsy has cursed the makers of Channel 4 program “My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding”. The woman, who insists on not being named due to legal reasons, has stated that the program demeans and...

10
paddyparkinson 23.02.12 11:10pm
Username