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England welcome early start to 3rd day of the Ashes 0
MC One R 3 years

It means that it can be all done and dusted by teatime, and they can have Sunday off...

Polish officials withdraw from refereeing SPL games 0
MC One R 3 years

They have had a job offer closer to home, plus it's cash in hand...

Turkeys to elect new world leader - Nick Clegg early favourite 1
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Road Grit supplies running low – emergency plan to use bones of the poor instead 2
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Entire Population of Norfolk Is Revealed to be Related to Bernard Matthews 3
De-scribe 3 years

Funeral plans in chaos. (Such a shame when cousins marry)...

Vermont man killed in gun prank to be replaced by 2 Mexicans. 2
Griffin 3 years
Poundland launches expansionist policy by annexing Land of Leather. 3
Ian Searle 3 years
Bernard Matthews wife calls a taxi dermist 1
arrghgarry 3 years
Norfolk yokels grieve in traditional way, by shooting road-signs with airguns... 1
Doylem 3 years
Jamie Oliver to read the lesson at Bernard Mathews funeral. 0
DiY 3 years
Police fooled as 3 paedophiles manage to form a ring. 0
wallster 3 years

"We thought it was simply an illicit love triangle" says bemused police chief...

When the turkey jokes have been done to death, wattle we do next?... 0
Doylem 3 years
Tesco's readying for Christmas Robin season 0
simonjmr 3 years
Molly Hagerty a masseuse who became famous for refusing to 5
arrghgarry 3 years

make Al Gore`s globes warm,revealed more of what happened that night ., When I entered the room I of course recognized him as the sore loser .I was nervous not becuase of his fame but because he...

Family respects Bernard’s last wish, to be ‘covered in golden breadcrumbs’... 1
Doylem 3 years
England Bowlers Frustrated By Hussey: 'Come on. Do We get a Shag or What?' 0
IABP 3 years

In other news: Ed Milliband Effect Failing to Have Any Impact Anywhere or With Anyone Concerns are growing that the Ed Milliband Effect is failing to have an impact on anything or anyone and shows...

Turkeys cull Bernard Matthews when human flu detected on Norfolk farm 0
Sinnick 3 years
Final series of ‘Monkey Tennis’ to air next year... 0
Doylem 3 years

Fans are distraught that the spring series of their favourite show will be the last. “It’s an end to quality television as we know it”, said Keith Bright, close to tears. “Soon there’ll be...

Funeral cortege to be led by six Golden Drummers... 0
Doylem 3 years
Prostitutes In Norfolk To Give a 2 Minute Gobble Out of Respect 2
IABP 3 years
Japanese play Mozart to bananas to make them sweeter Lady Gaga makes them BIGGER 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And firmer...

German asks ex to return breast implant money , she demands return of dignity 0
Ian Searle 3 years
After 50 days adrift, lost boys praise rescuers Peter Pan and Tinkerbell 1
Ian Searle 3 years

They never stopped believing in fairies...

Police investigating death of Bernard Matthews suspect 'fowl play' 3
pinxit 3 years

Oh, someone had to do it...

Formula 1 inherrently racist 1
simonjmr 3 years
Arsene Wenger to recall Diana 0
Des Custard 3 years

Having heard that Earl Spencer intends to recall Princess Diana at the forthcoming royal wedding, the Arsenal manager is considering recalling her for the starting lineup against Aston Villa this...

N Korea warns South about [i]WarGames[/1] 0
Grover 3 years

North Korean officials have just issued a warning to their uneasy neighbours to the south not to view the 1983 film [i]WarGames[/i]. “We have just seen this film, starring the young, decadent...

"Got fed up eating chicken, so we ate Seabird" say 3 surviving cannibals... 0
thackaray 3 years

.found alive in Pacific after 7 weeks adrift; 10 other companions still unaccounted for...

Bernard Matthews: did some auto-erotic act go tragically wrong? 2
Doylem 3 years

“We found Mr Matthews surrounded by roast potatoes and seasonal vegetables. There was evidence of soft fruit, possibly cranberries”, the coroner told the press. “It’s difficult to be sure...

Bernard Matthews to be “roasted, not cremated”, say family. “Bootiful!”... 3
Doylem 3 years