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House of Commons votes

Nah - not funny. Must take more water with it...

dvo4fun 05.02.13 8:47pm
Queen Rules On Richard III Burials

The Queen has today settled the dispute between Leicester and York with regard to the re-burial of Richard III's bones by ruling that the skeleton be divided. The Queen's representative in such...

Mike Turbine-Hamilton 05.02.13 8:24pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
"God created me as well" says Steve

Early human Steve has spoken of his anger at what he sees as the whitewashing of his exploits from the bible story. Steve is understood to have been created by God from some nearby twigs on the...

BAJDixon 05.02.13 7:45pm
Gay marriage to be made “compulsory”...

Due to errors with the order papers and voting procedures, MPs have voted not merely to allow gay marriage, but to make it compulsory. “The double negative on the ballot paper seems to have caused...

Tripod 05.02.13 7:35pm
Arab countires complain Dyson Airblade 'takes too long to punish thieves' 0
One Line Only 05.02.13 4:55pm
One Line Only
Dyson launch new 'Jeans' range of most efficient hand dryers 0
charlies_hat 05.02.13 4:51pm
Hague meet Argentine Foreign Minister - offers Northern Ireland instead... 1
GreenCross 05.02.13 4:42pm
Banks ordered to separate into “nice bits” and “dodgy bits”

British Banks must ring fence their “well dodgy bits” and keep them entirely separate from their “nice smiley bits”, the Chancellor of the Exchequer warned today. Branch staff have largely...

nickb 05.02.13 3:20pm
Rebecca Adlington quits swimming to spend more time with her spoon. 7
wallster 05.02.13 3:15pm
The Real Rebecca
Kingdom for a horse would be "a good deal" concedes chancellor

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, has said that if someone offered a horse for the United Kingdom, he'd bite their hands off. "A live horse in exchange for a trillion pound debt? What's...

apepper 05.02.13 2:42pm
Huhne six month driving ban ‘unlikely to be a problem’ 0
medici2471 05.02.13 2:28pm
Huhne quits to spend less time with family & more time with Big Ron on 'E' Wing

more later. Sorry...

dvo4fun 05.02.13 2:21pm
There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Reg. 1
wallster 05.02.13 1:44pm
Savile and Richard III: A Tale of Two Yorkshiremen

Talk about contrasting fates. Savile was a national treasure until after he was buried, when he was found out to be a monster. Richard III was a monster until he was dug up, now he's a national...

TheStacemeister 05.02.13 1:22pm
Fifa to investigate claims that pools pannel fixed match results 0
Scronnyglonkle 05.02.13 1:22pm
Police reveal Andrew Mitchell called Reg Presley "Trog" 0
Scronnyglonkle 05.02.13 1:19pm
Facial reconstruction reveals Richard III looked like waxwork

Just sayin'...

beau-jolly 05.02.13 12:58pm
John O farrell spiritual guru to the nation

John O Farrell founder of Newsbiscuit says Newsbiscuit has been such a sucsess that hes decided to reveal himself as the new Jesus to all his Newsbiscuit followers as in his words he said "they need...

Roger De Logerey 05.02.13 11:58am
Roger De Logerey
Mars Could Split The Turry Party

Life-long members are resigning as the Turry Party rips itself apart, leaving the field wide open for other political groups. This was the overwhelming conclusion at an open meeting today., ‘Here...

05.02.13 11:51am
Dick Dastardly heads the list of most wanted fugitives in the UK

Closely followed by Joshua Smith , Thaddeus Jones and Dr. Richard Kimble,...

Ian Searle 05.02.13 10:52am
Ian Searle
Savile cops arrest 560 year old man over murders of 2 boys

Photofit available...

Rootin Tootin 05.02.13 10:43am
Rootin Tootin
Outdoor Toddlers are Prolific Pet Killers, Study Says

[i]From our correspondent in the American Colonies.[/i] Wild, outdoor children could be killing far more cats and dogs than previously estimated. That’s according to a new study published this...

birdw0rks 05.02.13 9:59am
Reg and Elvis: together at last... 2
Tripod 05.02.13 9:56am
Disney Corp secures rights to Richard IV - A New Hope. 0
wallster 05.02.13 9:48am
New Dr. Phil show exposes the quackery in pop pyschology TV shows 0
Dumbnews 05.02.13 6:06am
Breaking football news: Newcastle have surrended. 0
birdw0rks 05.02.13 5:45am
Chris Huhne needs 24-hour care, says Clegg.

Disgraced MP Chris Huhne needs round-the-clock supervision after he started telling the truth again, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has warned. Huhne's friend, ex-MP Dr Evan Harris said at the...

pinxit 05.02.13 1:12am
Leics Council prosecute Monarchy for leaving small brown Richard III in car park

No more soon I hope...

Trini 05.02.13 12:57am
Richard III spinal curvature attributed to 'medieval wheel clamp' 1
Squudge 04.02.13 11:42pm
sponge finger
Richard III passes ATOS disability test. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 04.02.13 11:41pm
sponge finger