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"Bwarp flomm," states man who claims ability to create new words at will. 0
Haywood Manley 25.02.12 6:15pm
Haywood Manley
Battersea Dogs Home in Afghan Withdrawal

Battersea Dogs and Cats home have announced that they will no longer accept Afghan Hounds in what may be the first of several breed specific exclusions. Also excluded are "cats that look at me...

apepper 25.02.12 6:11pm
Carlos Tevez reveals evil twin at fault for recent bad behaviour

A Confused Argentina international football striker had been wondering why he was being spat on in the street and not served at his local Manchester restaurant. It then became clear to Carlos Tevez...

paddyparkinson 25.02.12 5:25pm
Scientists find out how to everything

Lead astrophysicists at Oxford University have discovered how to everything. "The team were really happy" John Gregory, lead expert on anything said "the answer was staring us in the face this whole...

Z3RO 25.02.12 5:08pm
Reading The Sunday Sun will turn you gay ! Warns Mirror. 0
MADJEZ 25.02.12 4:37pm
Yanks nuke Kabul over Superman comic burning incident 0
yussle 25.02.12 4:21pm
John Lewis business model now available from Airfix 0
medici2471 25.02.12 4:01pm
Met police hold 250 in licensing crackdown lock in 0
button 25.02.12 2:59pm
Tom Daley admits diving competitions may be getting in the way of his media work 0
Ian Searle 25.02.12 1:53pm
Ian Searle
Audi A5 smaller than A4 on paper, engineers claim.

Hat-tip to apepper...

John Ffitch-Rucker 25.02.12 1:40pm
"Church does not own marriage" - eBay lot withdrawn

The Church of England's plan to raise funds by selling the concept of marriage on eBay has been thrown into disarray by a government ruling that the church is not the registered owner of marriage...

apepper 25.02.12 1:37pm
More rating agency news. BBC downgraded to ITV.

BB King, CC Penistone, Didi Ramone, ee cummings all on 'negative outlook'. ZZ Top officially 'junk' status. Any more for any more?...

Mandy Lifeboat 25.02.12 1:19pm
Mandy Lifeboat
FA Plan Quarterly England Manager Change To Lift Team Spirit Every Three Months 0
sredni vashta 25.02.12 1:05pm
sredni vashta
Rating agency latest, AA downgraded to Greenflag

more at the roadside later...

virtuallywill 25.02.12 12:23pm
A4e criticised as "only existing on paper"

It's been disclosed that controversial company A4e was only created for tax reasons as a paper company which is held by a parent organisation called "Ring Binder"...

apepper 25.02.12 11:29am
MP's questioned after House of Commons left in a mess

It was a shocking sight. Beer cans thrown on the floor, pizza boxes left open with stale slices still in them and a huge coke stain on the Speaker of the House's chair. The House of Commons had...

paddyparkinson 25.02.12 10:33am
Sort of greeny-yellow tint to everything down to global warming say scientists

Peculiar hue caused by climate change, not by endless dicking around in Adobe After Effects to make crap look appealing as previously thought...

Haywood Manley 25.02.12 8:41am
Haywood Manley
New culinary jewellery described as pioneering 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 25.02.12 4:13am
Psycadelic Squirrel
un-retouched picture of Adele

[url=]Take a peek here[/url]...

Son of Barnabas 25.02.12 12:30am
Buddhist Monk sets himself on fire in protest of winter chill 0
paddyparkinson 24.02.12 11:58pm
Man drowned in 3-ft deep lake because firefighters ‘were not trained’ to rescue

Oh, sorry, that's a real story'. As I have said before, the world is just getting more barmy than us crumby biscuiteers could imagine in a month of...

Son of Barnabas 24.02.12 10:42pm
Bomb carnage latest: 'No women & children involved'. Oh, that's OK then.

More later...

dvo4fun 24.02.12 10:36pm
Dunlopillo sculptor charged with foam hacking. 7
JETFAB 24.02.12 10:25pm
Back to work tsar .. unemployed. 0
MADJEZ 24.02.12 10:08pm
A4e claim 'Our Jobs Programme works!' after creating new Family Champion post

more (vacancies) soon...

dvo4fun 24.02.12 8:34pm
Anne Widdecombe Sex tape terrifies viewers

Young and single men surfing the net for footage of a Kim Kardashian look-a-like being gang banged by two policemen and a plumber, may be in for a nasty surprise. A sex tape has made its way round...

paddyparkinson 24.02.12 8:29pm
Cardboard company admin punch-up a 'box office hit' 2
Perks 24.02.12 7:17pm
Benevolent Nigerian Prince stunned by apathy towards his Philanthropic emails

Prince Abiola Olatunde spoke of his frustration yesterday, as his attempts to enrich his fellow internet users continue to fall upon deaf ears. Employing a team of volunteers from the school he...

SimonJJames 24.02.12 7:15pm
Belmarsh riot caused by Big Fat Gypsy Weddings paternity row

Prison officials at HMP Belmarsh have released their findings following the riots which took place late on Tuesday night, stating the trigger as being a group of prisoners arguing over who was the...

kimllfixit 24.02.12 5:38pm
TC given managers job at Wolves names Benny the Ball as first team coach

I know football lines don't go down too well but I love Top Cat !...

charlies_hat 24.02.12 5:29pm