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UKIP to campaing for compusory pub lock-ins. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 21.05.13 6:28am
New Philosophical Treatise to be compiled from facebook posts 1
Dumbnews 21.05.13 6:27am
Man who plans to climb Mt. Everest unaware of helicopter rides to the top 0
Dumbnews 21.05.13 2:16am
Kirk to enter prides 0
Not Amused 21.05.13 12:28am
Not Amused
Straight man attacked by gang of vicious homosexuals

A 20-year old straight man has told of his terror at being set upon by a gang of openly gay thugs. The victim told reporters that earlier that evening he had been the subject of a series of bitingly...

Darkbill 2.0 20.05.13 11:16pm
Not Amused
Swivel-eyed loons quick to distance themselves from Tory party.

"We've enough on our plate already, what with these swivel eyes, and being loons, without having to take on this dreadful stigma," said Arthur Clench, Chairman of the Society of Swivel-eyed Loons,...

Boutros 20.05.13 10:44pm
Nightclub under fire for mirrors that show reflection of person's worth

A Glasgow nightclub has come under fire after secretly installing mirrors in the gents bathrooms that allow people to see the impact they'll have on the planet. "We meant to install one way mirrors...

andrewl81 20.05.13 10:31pm
Man "living the dream" wakes to find he is dreaming the life. 3
weematt 20.05.13 10:03pm
New Zealand Cricket team accused of match fixing. More soon. 0
deskpilot3 20.05.13 10:00pm
Not saying a thing is the new thing is the new saying a thing is the new thing

Not saying something is the new something is the new saying something is the new something, according to the latest edition of Vogue. "Not saying something is the new something means saying...

Idiot 20.05.13 9:41pm
Swivel-eyed Tory's wife has a smashing pair of testicles

Staunch anti-gay marriage Tory activist, Brigadier Sir Compton Carboys, has revealed that his petite 54 year old wife, Brioney, is pretty fit in the old bouncing bombs department. “My wifey's a...

Lenny Bee 20.05.13 9:40pm
Lenny Bee
EU throws olive oil on Cameron's European troubles 0
custard cream 20.05.13 8:44pm
custard cream
Bowie admits dyslexia as Major Tim prepares to blast off

Too obvious?...

MaverickRat 20.05.13 8:27pm
Change Control Board meeting turns into a "Devil Nightmare".

Neat-O Anagram just for Harry...

Al OPecia 20.05.13 7:42pm
Al OPecia
3 brothers seeking union applaud precedent set by same sex marriage bill 0
topfotogmw 20.05.13 7:38pm
Gay marriage plans derailed by ridiculously fashionable clothing on the line

'We can't say it was the wrong kind of clothes, because they were just so, so right' said a spokesman, before bursting into tears...

Crooked Man 20.05.13 6:48pm
Crooked Man
God arrested for stealing man's thunder 1
Dumbnews 20.05.13 6:08pm
Al OPecia
Tory's face "worst nightmare" as aggressive homosexual attacks swivel-eyed loon

A top level Conservative Party official has claimed that the party faces it's "worst nightmare" after a swivel eyed loon was attacked by an aggressive homosexual. The official said, "It was our...

andrewl81 20.05.13 5:58pm
John Terry snubs "US" tour by claiming it should all be about "Me"

Chelsea claim he has an injury:a bruised ego...

irreverendJ 20.05.13 4:59pm
Police uncover plans for Chelsea Flower Show air strike

Preparations for the Chelsea Flower Show continue to be disrupted following a statement by the metropolitan police that they have uncovered a planned air strike., The air admitted that it will be...

Not Amused 20.05.13 4:53pm
Not Amused
Tories deny 'swivel eyed loon' comment was reference to Michael Gove 1
sillybugger 20.05.13 3:58pm
Ref Minor
Godolphin scandal widens..."we didn't do it on porpoise", says Sheikh Mohammed

Another obvious one so apologies for any repitition!...

topfotogmw 20.05.13 3:54pm
Porn industry thinks children should be exposed to education

There is growing alarm among the U.K.’s leading pornographers, that children as old as 16 are still to be exposed to basic literacy and numeracy. Research suggests that some students in later...

Wrenfoe 20.05.13 3:51pm
Al OPecia
Abu Qatada 'home for Christmas'

He can't believe his mince pie, according to a friend...

Crooked Man 20.05.13 3:29pm
Crooked Man
Bill Gates is world's richest man again after loan from Wonga

Bill Gates regained the title of World's Richest Man after taking out a loan from Wonga of 5 trillion dollars. 'I saw their ad on my 58 TVs,' he said today. 'The old people looked so nice and...

John Wiltshire 20.05.13 3:15pm
John Wiltshire
Daleks adopt the slogan 'We are swivel-eyed loons'

A spokesdalek for the Daleks said today that they were proud to call themsleves 'swivel-eyed loons.' 'Forget the Conservatives,' said Dalek Sek. 'We are the original swivel-eyed loons. We only have...

John Wiltshire 20.05.13 3:02pm
Gove heckled by head teachers ' it's your own time you're wasting' he responds 6
topfotogmw 20.05.13 2:58pm
Home Secretary courts popularity by holding gay marriage in May garage. 0
nickb 20.05.13 2:55pm
Mouthwash manufacturers to market "Gurgle Glasses" 0
nickb 20.05.13 2:19pm
Home Counties opthalmic surgeons report increase in private work 0
nickb 20.05.13 1:58pm