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Nicorette to offer menthol patches 0
nickb 4 years
Current generation claim "Sudoku puzzles were harder back in our day" 0
kga6 4 years

Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove, has come under fire today amidst further claims that the sudoku puzzle has been "dumbed down". The claims look certain to force a Government U-turn on...

Long John Silver to rethink underwear choices 0
nickb 4 years
'I never was the egg man' reveals Walrus 0
nickb 4 years
Ministers to consider raising the speed of light 7
Screenie 4 years

When the speed was first 'discovered' it was thought that nothing would even get remotely close and evidence has recently been discovered that suggests the scientists in question simply wrote down...

Government let down dementia sufferers with broken promises... 0
Ironduke 4 years

to be fair, if you're going to break a promise to anyone...

Jeremy Hunt to perform Vagina Monologues at Tory conference fringe event. 1
nickb 4 years
Fleetwood Mac sued by Apple 1
Iscariot 4 years

More i-soon...

Long John Silver berates pirates for taking disabled woman instead of wheelchair 0
Runestone Cowboy 4 years
Second-hand Tardis seller denies claim it's been clocked 0
Runestone Cowboy 4 years
Apple deny stealing '3 way call' technology from conference pears 0
Runestone Cowboy 4 years
Sky News editors' panic: 'Jacko manslaughter' defendant may change plea 0
dvo4fun 4 years
Guardian latest: still no evidence Bullingdon Club took Britain into illegal war 0
ronseal 4 years
Kitten stolen - MP's wife fingered in snatch 14
Screenie 4 years
Nintendo target people bored of video games with the launch of the N-Wii 4
simonjmr 4 years
Al-Qaeda to sue Ahmadinejad for stealing their thunder 0
Dumbnews 4 years
EU condemn piracy involving disabled Frenchwoman 0
aksakal 4 years

A spokesman from the EU was quick to condemn the piracy involving a disabled Frenchwoman. "Whatever were they thinking off? Do they have access ramps for disabled people. Are there disabled toilets...

Gregorian Calendar's days are numbered says Business Csar 0
tedweasel 4 years

Vince Cable today unveiled plans to decimalise the calendar in a bold bid to stimulate economic growth., Addressing the CBI, the Business Secretary outlined key points of the innovative project...

Nunnery Bans Cigarette Vending Machines: Nuns Forced to Kick Habit 0
kga6 4 years

From today, agitated nuns will no longer be allowed to enlighten up to ease their frustration as new laws ban cigarette vending machines. Nuns rely on the machines due to the extensive nun-curfew...

Humour scientists get a lift when discovering elevator joke works on many levels 1
Perks 4 years
Contract Fraud Trumps Café Suicide as Cops Probe Bridge Over Troubled Waiter 0
kga6 4 years
Saudi woman driver goes out on the lash to celebrate 0
Scroat 4 years
'You're only one speech away from becoming a party leader' public warned 1
ronseal 4 years

Anyone who makes a half decent speech in the next week could regret it for life, as an aggrievance of press gangs roam the country looking for potential party leaders. One young woman, Yvette, has...

Changes to Employment Law Makes "Death Illegal" 0
apepper 4 years

Changes to the employment law are being proposed which makes dying a legally grey area. As well as extended the length of employment before claims for unfair dismissal can be pursued, another change...

Eric Pickles to be disposed of in landfill. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Apple to launch game-changing “new concept” 1
4 years

In a shock move that has stunned technology markets, Apple has turned its back on the tablet market to launch an entirely new device – the Fedex 81. It will be a collaboration between Apple and...

Enquiry launched to find scapegoat for blam culture 5
Mr_Johno 4 years
Sandwich accepted under European "Protected designation of origin" laws 1
Newsquelch 4 years

Ian Brownstain, who owns the local cafe ‘Fishy Finger’ in the town of Sandwich in Kent, has successfully had the food article formally known as ‘a Sandwich’ protected under the European...

Middle aged male MP encouraged by wife to buy pussy magnet 1
charlies_hat 4 years
'Micro' 9/11 planner foiled by CIA 4
Screenie 4 years

A 26-year-old US citizen who was plotting to fly bomb laden remote controlled planes into the White House has been taken into custody to give the US law enforcement agency an opportunity to point at...