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Bernard Matthews to be cryogenically frozen in breadcrumbs 2
Rizzo 3 years

Please defrost thoroughly before use...

Diplomats terrified that Wikileaks will show them telling the truth. 1
riesler 3 years
England cricketers take inspiration from Muhammad Ali 0
riesler 3 years

and switch to rope-a-dope tactic...

Lionel Richie has finally found the woman who was looking for him. 0
Ian Searle 3 years

But she's forgtten what she wanted him for. The search continues for Mr Goodbar...

Rolls Royce asked by UK government to fix jet stream 0
4ty2 3 years

to stop cold spell from slowing down recovery...

Out Dear Leader David Cameron has cancelled his tour of seeing 0
arrghgarry 3 years

poor people in Thailand to seeing poor people in England...

Astronauts admit they have got 100 mile high Club 1
Rowly 3 years

They get double points on re-entry, (nod to Golgo)...

Ashes Tour Is a great Success So Far, says England Twitter Coach 0
IABP 3 years

England Twitter Coach, Glyn McGrarr, is delighted with England's tweets during the tour so far but knows there is a long way to go and has asked the players not to show complancency or to sit back...

Irish Finance Minister resigns after failing to secure "mates rates" for UK loan 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

David Cameron issued a brief statement today. "While we have every sympathy with the plight of the Irish people we cannot be seen to favour any single nation over others. The offer of a week away...

Fell-walkers’ anger at being ‘ignored’ at Rufus Wainwright gig 12
Bravenewmalden 3 years

Two coach-loads of fell-walking enthusiasts arrived home in Yorkshire late last night speaking of their anger and disappointment at being ‘ignored and disrespected’ at a concert featuring the...

Britain to be re-branded as The Nationa Formerly Known as Great 2
ronseal 3 years

Marketing consultants at The Hambleton Group have finally unveiled the new image for Britain, which they say exudes the brand values of the majority of the population. FormerlyKnownAsGreat...

Brazen Hussey frustrates England 7
rickwestwell 3 years
Scotland Yard Blow Whistle on Police Kettle 0
pinxit 3 years
Cheerful Keith Wood denies being a happy hooker... 0
Dexter 3 years

more soon., With a nod to dicky37...

£8bn rail investment delayed due to 'wrong sort of crippling debt' 4
AdrianJ 3 years
Wikileaks revelations delayed due to toner shortage 3
Milo Shame 3 years

Government and Diplomatic Services around the globe are breathing a temporary sigh of relief after Wikileaks founder, Julian Assange, announced that they had run out of toner for the office...

RSPCA warn that Cribbins is 'last surviving famous Bernard' 9
rickwestwell 3 years

The RSPCA's endangered species watch team reported today that former Goon and Womble Bernard Cribbins is now likely to be the only celebrity called 'Bernard' still surviving in the wild in the UK....

'Bootiful' say Matthews rivals 1
roybland 3 years
Sub zero temperatures create surprise icy weather for second year running 0
Moggsy 3 years
UK Police expose paedophile's ring - vigilantes expect to smash it in by morning 0
Moggsy 3 years
Jonny English tries to arrest of Julian Paul Assange 0
4ty2 3 years

mistaking him to be Pascal Sauvage...

US leak Wikileak befire it starts leaking 0
4ty2 3 years

assuming that polish plumbers won't be able to stem tide...

Contented prostitute charged with being 'happy slapper' 1
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Turkey-twizzler king lives to ripe old age of 80 0
roybland 3 years
Bernard Matthews cremation to take 2 hrs, 4 if cooking from frozen. 4
danhall 3 years
Rival exacts revenge upon Ironic Website. 4
Dun Dunkin 3 years

by hacking in Job ads forever...

Ryanair blamed for poor weather by supplying shoddy jet streams 0
Basil_B 3 years
Peter749400 3 years

Auntie Bessie and Captain Birdseye taken into protective custody...

Peter Andre now knows how we feel everytime we hear him sing. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Scooby Doo team unmask global warming hoax ghost 4
Oxbridge 3 years

A two-man, two-woman, one-Great Dane team of young Americans has exposed the belief that the Earth’s climate is growing warmer as a result of man-made emissions of greenhouse gases, thus...