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Applying both Lynx and Impulse creates ‘perfect sexual null point’ 8
jp1885 4 years

Medical researchers at the prestigious Edinburgh University have made a breakthrough in the fight against overly attractive people after discovering that simultaneously applying popular deodorants...

Singles website introduces speed carbon dating for unattached archaeologists. 1
Ian Searle 4 years
Edinburgh Council poll asks "Are you Satisfied, Unsatisfied, Fucking Furious?" 1
Drylaw 4 years
Milk of human kindness can cause allergic reaction 3
vertical 4 years

or 'may contain nuts'...

Italian farmer with low straw yields asks Europe for a hay bale out 7
Perks 4 years

No more soon...

Joanna Lumley sale to pay off Greek National Debt 3
Monsewer Crapaud 4 years

A Greek Finance Ministry spokesman today announced plans to sell off National Treasure, Joanna Lumley, to pay off their mounting debt. "We've tried for years to get back the Elgin Marbles without...

Apple launches new iTalk and iListen apps 1
DorsetBoy 4 years

Defying market rumours that Apple would lose its creativity without Steve Jobs at the helm, CEO Tim Cook today launched two new, revolutionary apps named iTalk and iListen. Based on a combination of...

Government unveils plan to make workplaces even more hellish 1
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

A new government report has recommended that the few people still in employment should be kept in a state of perpetual fear and trepidation. The report, entitled Keep Your Head Down, calls on the...

Art world out of touch, claims artist who dresses as girl, holidays with teddy 15
Clarky 4 years

Dressed as his flamboyant female alter-ego, Claire, in gingham and pigtails, cross-dressing former Turner prize-winner Grayson Perry has accused the art establishment of being out of touch with...

Young “from all walks of life” encouraged to train for the monarchy 2
nickb 4 years

She has already agreed to change succession rules to favour future female royals. Now, it’s understood, the Queen is looking at the possibility of encouraging more young people from a diversity of...

Annoying patient forces psychiarist to see a psychiarist 0
Dumbnews 4 years
US Army admits antigay policy was 'way of dealing with its own sexuality issues' 3
gaijintendo 4 years

(took a while to cram into a title - may have lost a bit in translation) The US Army revealed the feelings it had repressed since its inception to the United States Senate at a nice restaurant with...

Lack of any 'junior managers' leads to self-styled 'Middle Managers' downgrading 0
dvo4fun 4 years

More self awareness soon...

ME link to EU 6
medici2471 4 years

Researchers in Norway believe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS), also known as ME, may be caused by an over exposure to EU related news stories.The disease is thought to affect some 250,000 people in...

Big Job For Cameron At Euro Crisis Meeting..... 0
Jesse Bigg 4 years

.Euro leaders' messenger boy...

Germany solves debt crisis by investing €211bn in taramasalata futures 1
4 years
SCS to bail out Eurozone with borrow now pay at Easter deal. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 4 years
Boeing 787 arrives 3 years late - demonstrates unprecedented flight endurance 1
GreenCross 4 years
Gadhaf Caught In Chysler Crossfire 0
Flagrantabuse 4 years

Ibrahim Abbashim, member of the Transient Interim Temporary Situation (or TITS) said [quote]Yes, yes it's true. Apparently Gadhafi was killed in a crossfire, believed to be the only car of its type...

Worldwide collapse of Dominos Pizza the result of “chain reaction”. 3
nickb 4 years

What started as a minor moped accident outside Dominos Pizza in Esher, Surrey has resulted in meltdown for the global food business, and a threat to the take-away indusry worldwide. Mel Farnsworth,...

Man-powered flight record smashed by woman with bingo wings 4
pinxit 4 years
Capitalists and lower case fanatics clash over St. Paul's font 6
spoole2112 4 years
No hard feelings, says PM as third Tory rebel dies in mysterious circumstances 8
Darkbill 2.0 4 years

The Police have said that the death of a third Conservative rebel MP earlier today, remains "unexplained". Meanwhile, David Cameron insisted that no ‘bad blood’ existed after 81 Tory MPs defied...

Post Office to be sold to Domino's Pizza. 8
FormerlyAlOPecia 4 years

In an unexpected but idiosyncratic move, the coalition government announced today that the General Post Office's remaining postal service is to be sold to Domino's Pizza. The company hopes to...

Merkel and Sarkozy announce "We have finally fixed the Eurozone crisis" 1
brd888 4 years

surely that's funny!...

Swindon forced to rename it's not so 'magic' roundabout. 5
Perks 4 years, Following three years of research, a public consultation and £120...

Occupy London protesters shocked by council tax bill - average tent 'in band B' 4
GreenCross 4 years
Road rage link to National Trust car stickers. 0
Ralphy Snoops 4 years

A new report has established a link between incidents of road rage and National Trust car stickers. Tests proved that once the sticker had been affixed to the rear window of a vehicle the driver’s...

Apple to launch the "Post-Humous" App in memory of Steve Jobs 2
Packman 4 years

iPhone users are eagerly awaiting Apple's latest app named "Post-Humous", inspired by and in memory of the late Steve Jobs. The App will enable deceased Facebook users to continue posting status...

Aldershot in crisis after unexpected thrashing at home 0
ste 4 years