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Accountant emerges after 7 hours trapped in toilet cubicle

Mild mannered accountant George Thornby was finally rescued by colleagues yesterday afternoon after spending 7 hours in a toilet cubicle. George had already visisted Mr Ploppy and was about to wipe...

blacklesbianandproudofit 23.06.13 9:00am
US trying to steal our mountains with Snowden extradition bid 0
irreverendJ 23.06.13 8:22am
'Intergalactic recession' forced closure of UFO desk, announce MoD

The Ministry of Defence closed its UFO special desk because of a 'severe downturn' in economies across the universe, newly released files show. The desk was closed in December 2009 following an...

Jesus H 23.06.13 7:42am
Jesus H
Taliban bewildered by talks led by Kerry Catona. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 22.06.13 10:45pm
Dick Everyman
South Africans to use less emotional vehicles as ambulance breaks down

The South African health service has pledged to use more stoic vehicles after the ambulance carrying Nelson Mandela broke down. "It was understandable.", explained a spokesman, "Most of us were...

apepper 22.06.13 10:33pm
"The ghost of Mr Bronte saw us" claims paleontologist on lonely moorland dig 8
Dick Everyman 22.06.13 10:31pm
Dick Everyman
James Corden attempts "supermoon". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 22.06.13 10:30pm
Al OPecia
IT Dept refuse to change new Adult Dictionary Spam Filter for worker named Dick

. (Absolutely true story - colleague couldn't understand why all his e-mails got quarantined following an IT 'System Upgrade' until the No-Help-Whatsoever-Desk investigated the problem. They then...

Midfield Diamond 22.06.13 10:27pm
Dick Everyman
Male 'Morning-after' pill may still be decades away, claim scientists. 5
bonjonelson 22.06.13 9:31pm
Sumatra agrees to check if Singapore's washing is out before lighting bonfires 0
cinquecento 22.06.13 9:10pm
Charlie Watts' Moss Museum closes due to lack of exhibits 2
Ian Searle 22.06.13 8:41pm
Paleontologists Discover Fossilized Writing, Suspect Brontesaurus 3
Jjeffries 22.06.13 5:17pm
Lindy Moone
During Violent Protests, Brazilian Leader Stresses Need for Cup

My second try...

Jjeffries 22.06.13 4:58pm
"Super moon" best viewed near a Rugby Club

Space expert Heather Couper said "supermoons" were the result of coincidence., She explained that when the Moon was high in the sky, it looked normal., But by turning away from the Moon, bending...

sillybugger 22.06.13 2:55pm
BT (Who Else Would You Expect?) Win Crap Customer Telephone Helpline Award

"This is ScamCo. What the Hell do you want? Before selecting any options, listen to the following 40-minute lecture about our ethical and environmental policy and our committment to customer service...

Titus 22.06.13 1:00pm
Some of my best friends are racists ...

but I wouldn't let my daughter marry one...

Titus 22.06.13 11:47am
Nigella's wedding ring stolen by metal thieves, Saatchi insists 0
sydalg 22.06.13 11:32am
Obama regrets confusing the Cabinet with characters from Rainbow. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 22.06.13 10:19am
Blood Donor Emerges A Pint Less

(Don't blame me - him over there started it.)...

Titus 22.06.13 9:39am
Man who visited hairdresser to talk about holidays accidentally given haircut 3
custard cream 22.06.13 9:37am
Cops going under cover at massive risk of being asked to do some work

A hero cop has told of his nightmare experience of posing as a civilian worker, as part of an undercover sting. He told how he was: ASKED to file accurate reports, REQUESTED to provide proof to...

ronseal 22.06.13 9:19am
School maths problem : 30 into 15 gets you 2 years prison. 11
MADJEZ 22.06.13 9:03am
Daily Mail admits secret fracking for Vitriol as reserves run dry

Despite raising fears about the impact that shale gas fracking will have on society and the nation's health, it has been forced to concede that it had embarked on its own secret vitriol fracking...

antharrison 22.06.13 8:38am
Charity urges support for parents of eerie children.

A newly-launched charity is embarking on a mission to raise public awareness of the difficulties and obstactles faced by parents of eerie children. Howard Phillips, founder of the Little Horrors...

sredni vashta 21.06.13 10:41pm
New Oil Extraction Plan Provokes Comment Of "Fracking Hell" 0
Titus 21.06.13 9:18pm
Farage Says "Yes, But At Least I Used A UK Tax Haven, Not Luxembourg"

Ever the patriot...

Titus 21.06.13 9:17pm
Teacher hopes for time off by giving other inmates French lessons. 0
MADJEZ 21.06.13 8:44pm
Next week's Neat-O will disappoint less 2
Arthur 21.06.13 7:27pm
Lindy Moone
Bankers vital to Britain's stock of rhyming slang, says FSA 0
sydalg 21.06.13 7:01pm
Simpsons Mega-Violent Animated TV Cartoon To Be Re-Named "Itchy and Saatchi" 1
Titus 21.06.13 6:42pm