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Chinese launch first attempt at aircraft carrier

China’s first attempt at a fully functioning aircraft carrier has officially entered into service, until further notice, the defence ministry says. The 300m (990ft) Liaoning - named after the...

Old Hat 25.09.12 12:33pm
Old Hat
300+ Police Officers Could be Suspended

Chief Superintendent Irene Curtis was today, most distressed to learn 300+ police officers are almost certain to be suspended, on full pay, for allowing Andrew Mitchell to cycle through the main...

HenryMJUK 25.09.12 12:18pm
Government warns of potential new epidemic of health scares

Government scientists have issued a warning of the potential of a major outbreak of health scare stories in national and international media as autumn hits the northern hemisphere. The first...

gregle 25.09.12 12:06pm
Plumber's mate blames anxiety attacks on PTFE 0
dvo4fun 25.09.12 12:01pm
Samsung to release phone with crap maps

Samsung have denied claims of copying Apple with the release of their new GT-LOST smartphone. "We're simply fulfilling user demand for a sense of mystery when using their smartphone's maps.",...

apepper 25.09.12 11:48am
Fight between Lib-Dem delegates and Brighton Guardian readers leaves two sad

A run-in between Liberal Democrat conference delegates and local Guardian readers in Brighton has left two people sad and dozens very upset. Local juggler Adrian Newmanly was rushed to a local...

DustyBinLaden 25.09.12 11:40am
seymour totti
Plebgate latest: "Numquam ego nomine usus 'pleb' ", dicit Mitchell 0
MahoganyGas 25.09.12 10:58am
Brown tests positive for Cullen Skink

Former Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been tested positive for Cullen Skink. Brown produced a smoked haddock prescription from his doctor after testing positive More soon...

simonjmr 25.09.12 10:48am
Oik female PC denies she's a pleb 0
25.09.12 10:47am
GMO breakthrough: Wind Farm successfully produces a Clockwork Orange 0
MahoganyGas 25.09.12 10:36am
Cameron called Mitchell pleb for "only going to Rugby" 0
Drylaw 25.09.12 10:33am
After Mitchell’s ‘plebs’ gaffe, Boris confuses ‘wiff-waff’ with ‘riff-raff’... 0
Tripod 25.09.12 10:18am
German Catholics' search for Free Church in trouble

Faced with an ultimatum from Bishops to pay religious tax or be refused church services, thousands of German Catholics are said to be “disappointed”, “shocked” and “going back to their...

Sir Lupus 25.09.12 9:30am
Sir Lupus
Teacher thanks pupil with Louis Vuitton satchel and Fabergé pencil-case... 0
Tripod 25.09.12 9:26am
Terry misunderstood. He believes everyone is all gold.

I didn't really put this up. Someone hacked my account...

Not Amused 25.09.12 9:20am
Not Amused
Privately-educated “sick of being stigmatised by riff-raff”

In a week that has unearthed the profound class perceptions that threaten to shake British society to its very core, the beneficiaries of independent education have spoken out against the prejudice...

Mary Evans 25.09.12 9:00am
Wind Farm goes into administration after lack of breeding.

A farm in Norfolk has today been put into administration follow a failed project to start a wind farm. The ex-dairy farm had been looking for a new direction after the money it received for it’s...

Perks 25.09.12 8:38am
Man so unpopular even Groupon refuses to email him

Tony Norris from Stockport has been unveiled as the UK's most unpopular man following the decision by Groupon, and even global spam emailers, to refrain from attempting to contact him. 'Six months...

antharrison 25.09.12 8:35am
Abu Hamza extradition 'challenge' for handcuff engineers 7
25.09.12 8:34am
JJB administrators put the boot in 0
victimms 25.09.12 7:21am
Abu Hamza’s last-ditch plea: “You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours”... 0
Tripod 25.09.12 7:12am
Italian magazine publishes photocopy of Prince Andrew's balls 1
BAJDixon 25.09.12 6:39am
Golgeau Treize
PM's night ramblings revealed : a man on the edge ?

Reports are coming in from Downing Street police that the strain of the last few weeks appears to be taking its toll on the Prime Minister. Sargeant Colin Edwards, on duty at the security gates two...

FlashArry 25.09.12 6:39am
Feature: Meet Horris, the World's Most Extraordinary Dog

Sniffing stranger’s crotches? Urinating in public? Will eat anything off the floor? Then you're the sort of person we need to teach this talking, educated dog how to behave properly! Meet the...

jacobmason 25.09.12 6:15am
Anagram website knocked off Internet due to ODSD attack 0
AReader 24.09.12 8:48pm
Jamie Oliver presents 'Jamie's shit cooking for idiots'

Hi guys, I'm giving up trying to teach chavs how to cook swans and peacocks, I've decided to go 'back to basics'. If you have a terror of toasters, kettle-confusion, or the microwave radiates fear,...

24.09.12 7:42pm
78% of all muggings occur in dental practices

Undercover investigators have revealed how asian and eastern european gangs posing as dental teams are ruthlessly extracting vast sums from desperate people and threatening them with medieval style...

vertical 24.09.12 6:59pm
Elvis Presley Estate fined for abusing dog. 2
rikkor 24.09.12 5:24pm
Sofia Vergara Reveals Incredible New Talents Never Before Seen At The Emmy Award

The Emmy Awards got a huge ratings boost right in the middle of the program when Sofia Vergara’s already revealing dress ripped to expose even more luscious skin. The curvaceous star was already...

24.09.12 5:16pm
Maths teacher hopes to integrate abroad 0
medici2471 24.09.12 3:53pm