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Clegg: "It was the 'stash of Cigarettes' that set my pants on fire, Honest!" 3
Jammydodgers 3 years

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/hs1129.snc4/149170_167520169939307_100000439754111_442658_2421886_n.jpg...

Facebook fuck around with things to piss you off yet again 10
rickwestwell 3 years

Continuing its relentless drive to ensure the continual discomfort of its users, the social networking site Facebook today announced a new raft of tweaks guaranteed to irritate the living crap out of...

Maddy's fund cash "disappeared" whilst parents enjoyed romantic meal on holiday 1
thackaray 3 years
Test 0
Sinnick 3 years

apologies, text editor doesn't do what I want...

Stephen Fry lost contract for lucrative audio book deal 1
4ty2 3 years

Fry's outburst of women not liking sex came after he lost his contract to read for an audio book version of Joy of Sex by Alex Comfort. Aparently female listeners listening to a test recording...

"Fainting goat" version of Jurassic Park heads for the big screen 0
lostcosmonauts 3 years

Classic adventure film Jurassic Park is to be remade for replacing the lysine deficiency of the novel and original film with ‘fainting goat’ syndrome. Spielberg comments “We’d been looking...

Nick Clegg rings NASA, makes 'casual enquiry' about cost of heat shields 0
la maga 3 years
"Peace In Our Time!" proclaims Clegg... 0
Jammydodgers 3 years

As Danny Alexander is caught off guard and openly refers to the Lib Dem manifesto as 'The Munich Agreement.',...

Fat bastard did, in fact, "eat all the pies". 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Mad Hatter, dormouse elected to Congress in Tea Party landslide 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Voters in Wonderland have elected a series of right-wing Tea Party candidates, including the March hare and the dormouse, to Congress in the country's mid-term elections. The result was a disaster...

Cameron's Cameraman..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.ordered not to take photo's of Dave fiddling while the UK burns...

Rise in Tuition Fees aims to ‘Wipe Out Middle Class’ 0
kpseymour 3 years

After facing a backlash of criticism from the public and press, Secretary of State for Education, Michael Gove claimed the proposed increase in tuition fees main goal is to ‘wipe out the middle...

Big EU Tells Bugsy Dave To Tow The Line And Give Prisoners The Vote, Or Else 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

No doubt murderers and bank robbers will vote Tory and petty crims will vote Labour...

Arson contest loser admits to 'Throwing the match' 0
antharrison 3 years
Dyslexic secularist bans 'Burgers and mandarins' 0
antharrison 3 years
Ramsay in battle with bank over Steakes in house 0
4ty2 3 years

Ramseys Bank wants to put steakes on a claim on his house he used to secure a loan. Apparently it was a security to ensure RBS did not end up with a raw deal...

Battle of Britain 'just a hoax' 0
acwanaut 3 years

Seven former members of the Air Training Corps have admitted that the Battle of Britain was a hoax and was actually their entry for the 1944 South-East region diorama competition. Backed by strong...

Maddy Campaign has "Run Out of Excuses" 16
De-scribe 3 years

The grieving parents of missing tot Madeleine McCann have confirmed that they are being forced to scale down their hunt for the child claiming that they have "run out of excuses" to cover up their...

Gomez credited with "assist" for Nani goal.... 0
Mr.3374 3 years

in spite of strong claims from ref and linesman...

Labour MP not jailed for murdering Iraqis 0
Nobby Holder 3 years

A Labour MP who is known to have taken part in the murder of thousands of Iraqi people has not been sentenced to life imprisonment at the Old Bailey earlier today., But British justice prevailed...

TV presenter being treated for cancer. 6
arthurminnit 3 years

Popular TV presenter Dani Bayka is currently undergoing treatment for cancer. His oncologist, Dr Whom, said in a statement earlier today; "Mr Bayka doesnt actually HAVE cancer as such, however we...

Osborne channeling ghost of Gordon Brown, threatens 100,000 civil service jobs 0
la maga 3 years

More soon. Or maybe not. People have short memories. Gordon said he'd do it too y'know...

Defence deal: Britain to make running shoes and white flags for French forces. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

French to provide flick-knives and bangers in return. More soon...

Virgin Atlantic refuses to fly to Cloud Cuckoo land any more. 1
Ostsee 3 years
Students set to face £9000 fees before end of first term 0
Nobby Holder 3 years

Students throughout the UK may be forced to run up debts in access of £9000 if they are to maintain their bloated, uniquely privileged lifestyle reveals Frittercash, the Government agency set up to...

'Self-service' security checks to begin at UK airports 12
rickwestwell 3 years

In a 'big society'-style drive to eliminate unnecessary public spending on the security services, passengers flying out of UK airports are to be encouraged to perform security checks on themselves,...

Shock and anger as Fry becomes first man to care whether or not women like sex 1
Oxbridge 3 years
Wind farm becalmed as wind rustlers strike again. More soon. 6
deskpilot3 3 years
Open University to offer degree in Benefit claiming 0
Iamthestig 3 years

Students to be provided with up to £27k of support towards fees...

LHC experiment to reproduce Big Bang - 13 billion years after previous attempt 2
Sinnick 3 years

and they wonder what caused the original Big Bang...