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Syrian Rebels Suddenly Portayed As Al Qaeda After UK Decides Not To Attack Assad 0
Titus 19.09.13 8:59pm
Titus
Blatter announces 2022 World Cup to be split between Qatar and Siberia

FIFA president Sepp Blatter announced today that the 2022 World Cup would be split between Qatar (temperature 50C), and Siberia (temperature -20C), bringing the average temperature down to a balmy...

1
blacklesbianandproudofit 19.09.13 8:52pm
Titus
Children told to play card game outside despite worsening weather

Not sure I am doing this right...

1
nickb 19.09.13 5:12pm
AReader
Police to remove trousers before giving evidence.

Courts should be able to order constables to remove their trousers in court, a judge decreed today. Justice Bludgeon (96) believes it is important that juries have the right to see the style and...

13
Boutros 19.09.13 3:57pm
Richard Bingham
Scrumper Left Speechless As Adam Reclaims Apple 1
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 2:55pm
Flugelbinder
Head of match-fixing syndicate wins bet after being arrested in Singapore

The head of a syndicate which bribes people to fix the results of matches today won a reported $69 million after he was arrested in Singapore by officer David Lee of the Singapore police at 16:37...

1
John Wiltshire 19.09.13 2:55pm
AReader
Ukip conference delegates will wear full-face veils

Some delegates to Ukip's annual conference say they will wear a full-face veil to conceal their embarrassment at being a Ukip member. 'I'm not really keen on anyone discovering I'm a member,' said...

0
roybland 19.09.13 2:38pm
roybland
Confusion In Leeds Bradford Airport Over Pilot Drinking Scheme 0
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 2:29pm
Flugelbinder
"I Thought It Was Arthritis" Claims 79 Year Old Stabbing Victim

A 79 Year old man from Devon is recovering in Hospital after being stabbed several times in the neck, hands and leg by a 72 year old lady. "I have had arthritis for years" said Arthur Golightly from...

0
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 12:55pm
Flugelbinder
‘Drunk Tanks’ to replace Government ‘Think Tanks’

The Association of Chief Police Officers (ACPO) has suggested that the UK’s lubricated revellers could be used to generate future Coalition strategy. By attaching a series of monitoring devices to...

6
Wrenfoe 19.09.13 12:26pm
Jesus H
iPhone user has 'out-of-phone experience' in-between operating systems

iPhone dependent Michael Potter has spoken of a bizarre 'human-like experience' today, when a delay in his download of iOS 7 to his iPhone 5 left him perilously exposed to the real world, with no...

5
Jesus H 19.09.13 12:01pm
Jesus H
One In Three Behind On Rent Since Sky Prices Increase

Since the first of April this year when housing benefits were reduced, a reported one in three tenants in social housing have fallen into arrears on their rent. Mrs Chelsea Flatley of Rotherham told...

1
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 11:33am
Robopop
Mafia Boss Applauds Neat-O Anagram Entry

Neat-O, too subtle?...

1
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 11:30am
beau-jolly
Derbyshire miner complains that his lunch is dirty

Neat-o.. Must shurly be in with a chance of worst...

2
beau-jolly 19.09.13 11:27am
beau-jolly
Man running up motorway making voom-voom noises charged with carless driving 5
sydalg 19.09.13 11:20am
Sinnick
Astrologer who stared at stars too much gets conjunctionitis 0
John Wiltshire 19.09.13 10:36am
John Wiltshire
Coalition to get U-turn retrospective

The Saatchi Gallery is to stage a retrospective exhibition of the Coalition Government’s most memorable U-turns, it was announced today. In what has been described as “the most comprehensive...

0
Sfox 19.09.13 10:04am
Sfox
"Go back to your constituencies and prepare to finish third", urges upbeat Clegg

oooh, political satire eh!...

4
custard cream 19.09.13 9:49am
John Wiltshire
Man attacked by flock of Grus japonensis suffers repetitive crane injury 0
Smart Alex 19.09.13 9:44am
Smart Alex
Car Manufacturer Sold NCAP Rating 0
Flugelbinder 19.09.13 9:43am
Flugelbinder
Private investigator's phone hacking shame: 'I haven't been arrested'

53 year old private investigator Phil McKenzie spoke of his deep shame and remorse about not being arrested for phone hacking. Clearly emotional, Mr McKenzie admitted that he had no idea how to hack...

1
John Wiltshire 19.09.13 9:32am
Sfox
German politician turns liquor thief and steals Kohl's schnapps 1
DorsetBoy 19.09.13 9:07am
Smart Alex
Osteoporosis sufferer’s slip on black ice captured by uncaring photographer

Another Neat-O...

0
Midfield Diamond 19.09.13 8:58am
Midfield Diamond
Turbo B calls for ‘The Power’ to be applied to the central heating 0
Midfield Diamond 19.09.13 8:57am
Midfield Diamond
Government's amazing new plan for failing hospitals: give managers more money

Health Secretary Jeremy Hunt today announced a radical new plan to stop people dying in hospitals instead of getting better. At a news conference today, he said:'Hey, listen to this - it's a biggie!...

0
John Wiltshire 19.09.13 8:21am
John Wiltshire
Assad issues correction: Syria needs one year to deploy chemical weapons 0
Sinnick 19.09.13 8:14am
Sinnick
Financiers oppose call for maximum wage 0
Dumbnews 19.09.13 2:14am
Dumbnews
Mel Gibson to be crowned King of Scotland on 9/19/2014, says White House aide 0
Arthur 19.09.13 12:35am
Arthur
Assad: It will take a year to destroy chemical weapons by firing them at rebels. 0
MADJEZ 18.09.13 11:47pm
MADJEZ
Caledonia Dreamin’

To be sung out loud to this backing:, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mMGnm1DxNmo All the hills are brown, (They are always brown)., and the sky is grey., (It is always grey)., I’m...

6
Sinnick 18.09.13 9:45pm
Squudge