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JUBILEE PARTY PLAN GONE BANANAS

http://payload53.cargocollective.com/1/5/185047/3378961/news2_1_1000.jpg With only a month to go until the Jubilee celebrations, Buckingham Palace yesterday revealed that the plan for a 1000-strong...

0
WendysBigRegret 10.05.12 12:45pm
WendysBigRegret
Princess Diana to appear on new coinage from Royal Mint 0
Scroat 10.05.12 12:45pm
Scroat
Deep and vicious cuts force abattoir into administration 0
simonjmr 10.05.12 12:41pm
simonjmr
Clinton Cards "may fold".

Have we done them all yet?...

1
seymour totti 10.05.12 12:41pm
beau-jolly
Accusations of fake torch lighting for London 2012 after flame lit in Olympia

Undercover reporters discover fake Greek Olympic set set up in the Olympia exhibition centre. More soon...

0
simonjmr 10.05.12 12:21pm
simonjmr
Tom-Tom sat-nav blamed for convoluted Olympic torch route.

Google maps reckons it's about 2900 km and should take 1 day 9hrs by road !, Does it have to go to every shit-hole in the UK...

0
MADJEZ 10.05.12 11:56am
MADJEZ
"Underground will not be overrun with sweaty foreigners during Olympics" say TFL

So that's alright then...

0
Scroat 10.05.12 11:54am
Scroat
Home Secretary: 'Abu Qatada delay simply a clerical error.' 0
weematt 10.05.12 11:53am
weematt
Torch lit at Olympia, Lord Coe takes it the 13 miles to Stratford.

Oh we wish it were that simple., More convoluted journeys soon...

0
MADJEZ 10.05.12 11:53am
MADJEZ
Greek austerity measures mean no matches to light Olympic torch. 0
MADJEZ 10.05.12 11:50am
MADJEZ
"Self-drive cars would make Clarkson obsolete" - Engineers re-double efforts

Google engineers are working around the clock to perfect the self-driving car after discovering that Jeremy Clarkson would be removed from the airways but acceptance of the new technology...

0
apepper 10.05.12 11:43am
apepper
Google add back-seat driver option to self-drive car

Computer giant Google has introduced an optional "back-seat driver" option to their auto-drive car. A Google spokesman explained, "It makes the self-drive computer more human-like if unhelpful...

0
apepper 10.05.12 11:42am
apepper
Clinton employee confusion by instruction to "collect your cards" 0
apepper 10.05.12 11:37am
apepper
God forced to admit that network omnipotency actually only 99.3%

God today put out an unexpected press release confirming that rather than being completely omnipotent, holy coverage is actually around 99.3%. This has been attributed to blackspots in some of...

2
exigo 10.05.12 11:13am
Scroat
Clinton Cards puts "Congratulations, it's redundancy" banner on stores 0
Scronnyglonkle 10.05.12 11:10am
Scronnyglonkle
Sarkozy to take new post as stand-in for Mannekin Pis

The former French President, last seen walking disconsolately in circles under the table, is to display his European credentials by acting as substitute for the Brussels statue. However observers...

0
Scroat 10.05.12 11:04am
Scroat
Clinton Cards to launch new "Sorry you've gone into administration" range 3
Nails UK 10.05.12 10:50am
redbrick
Al Qaeda admonished over poor Health & Safety record.

Global terror organisation, Al Qaeda, has been issued with an official cease and desist order by the International Health and Safety Executive. The action follows a number of high profile cases...

5
wallster 10.05.12 10:47am
rickwestwell
Lord Coe assures Green Party that Olympic Torch will be solar powered 0
Scronnyglonkle 10.05.12 10:07am
Scronnyglonkle
Panic grips art world

In the wake of huge figures being realised at auctions of art recently, Scotland Yard has announced it will be stepping up security on some of Britains best loved treasures. A police spokesman said...

0
Bismarck 10.05.12 10:06am
Bismarck
English Defence League criticise bad punctuation and sloppy grammar. 5
Thor 10.05.12 9:23am
Sinnick
Heisenberg never saw the point

[adding to my collection of obscure 1-liners]...

0
Sinnick 10.05.12 9:22am
Sinnick
Mitt Romney says he supports gray marriage 0
Nick McCarr 10.05.12 9:21am
Nick McCarr
France to appeal to UN after being taken over by Hollande 0
Nick McCarr 10.05.12 9:20am
Nick McCarr
Billion-dollar New Mexico ‘ghost town’ to be named ‘Northampton’. 1
Thor 10.05.12 9:18am
The Nage
Moonsheep.com launches range of kosher birthday cards 5
bonjonelson 10.05.12 9:18am
The Nage
Miliband on Sassoon: I didn't mean for you to take me seriously .....

Back in January (many years ago) a young Ed Miliband called for Vidal Sassoon to resign, stating at the time, "His cuts went too far" and too many others are intent on doing the same. Stop the...

0
HenryMJUK 10.05.12 9:02am
HenryMJUK
Queen to begin speeches with 'Any Americans in here tonight?'

Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth the Second has turned to top stand up comedy coach Logan Murray to help her inject a bit of levity into her public speaking engagements, after a disappointingly flat...

5
ronseal 10.05.12 8:58am
Des Custard
Missing cleric: Body found. Could be Abu cadavre. 1
weematt 10.05.12 8:57am
bonjonelson
Hair today, gone tomorrow 0
Sinnick 10.05.12 8:42am
Sinnick