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Scientists Discover That Tory MP's Are An Alien Species From Planet Zorg..... 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.with a Scrooge-like flawed character trait, which translates into a hatred of spending money...

Cameron's Half-Term Adventure Over 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

But still can't decide which Middle East country's sand is the best...

Hague Wins Belly-Laugh Joke Of The Year Award 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Foreign Secretary, Hague has been awarded the Belly-Laugh Joke of the Year Award after being asked by a BBC reporter why the British government has been so slow in responding to the pleas of British...

Royal wedding Hunger striker calls it off after ivitation card found under pile 5
3 years

of fan mail.After beginning to fast at 11.00pm Thursday night Lord Prescott almost missed his traditional Friday fishes and chips lunch.Talking to the press,he reminded them as a former bulimic it...

Hetrosexual couple shocked after being turned away from B&B in Eastbourne 1
Ian Searle 3 years
Jeremy Kyle asked to ’stand-by’ in possible Libyan hostage exchange. 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Her Majesty’s Government has asked the talk-show host to be ’first reserve’ in case stranded Brits are held as hostages and the Government must bargain for their lives. A Foreign Office...

Easyjet to Introduce Pre-cancelled Flights 3
LizzyG 3 years

In a bold move to reduce the amount of time that passengers spend waiting for flights that never take off, Easyjet are to introduce the pre-cancelled flight. Hours of frustrating and pointless...

Spot betting to be extended to everyday life... 0
Doylem 3 years

Instead of just trying to pick the winner of the 2.30 at Kempton, hopeful punters can now bet on the minutiae of a sporting contest. In football it might be the timing of the first throw-in, in...

Usain Bolt has started smoking, “to give the other runners a chance”... 0
Doylem 3 years

When Usain Bolt won gold in the 100 metres at the last Olympics, he slowed down towards the end of the race, and slapped his chest in premature celebration, yet still managed to set a world record...

Train service promises to improve reliability of their delays 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Best male dancer still worse than worse female dancer, says Men 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Dual Time Zone of 1970’s to be introduced in Scotland 2
charlies_hat 3 years

The govt. has agreed to proceed with a bill proposing that Scotland, along with East Anglia and Cornwall will introduce a permanently recognised dual time zone. Whilst the rest of the UK will...

William Hague sends earthquake rescue teams to Tripoli by mistake. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

More confusion soon...

Greggs get word ‘steak’ granted ‘EU Euphemism’ status, for their Steak Bake... 1
Doylem 3 years

“We need to maintain a sense of humour about these things”, said Andrew Farrier, a spokesman for the Greggs chain of bakeries. “Normally, we’d have to tell our customers what’s in our pies...

Colin Firth Mired in Stammerers Row 0
3 years

The actor Colin Firth has become mired in a row which threatens to over-shadow the recent success of the King's Speech. The row began at a Film Industry Awards ceremony when Rob Tibbings broke...

FUTURE NEWS - Jabba the Hutt finds out he is descended from Eric Pickles 1
Ian Searle 3 years

After appearing on Who Do You Think You Are 2525...

Channel 4's 'Balls of Steel' to shelve Gadaffi episode 0
AndyOverhead 3 years

Channel 4 is to indefinitely delay the broadcast of an episode of Balls of Steel, following a 'dare' featuring Colonel Gadaffi, the muppet-faced leader of a North African Nation., "Following a stunt...

Possessive cow spotted in mine field. 8
Zadok the second 3 years
David Beckham in Plane scare as he forgets made up bag. 0
3 years
‘Real fires’ back in demand, as chimney sales go through the roof... 0
Doylem 3 years
Gregg’s Steak Bake granted ‘Ubiquity’ status... 0
Doylem 3 years

Gregg’s Steak Bake has been awarded Unprotected Geographical Indication status, meaning it can be produced, sold and consumed wherever there’s a ready supply of cheap, mechanically recovered meat...

Armitage Shanks launches concept of Bog Society 0
ronseal 3 years
Rolf Harris fined for speed painting and gets 3 points on his artistic license 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Coe calls time on language lessons for Olympic volunteers... 0
Doylem 3 years

“Our original plan”, said Lord Coe, “was to recruit hundreds of multi-lingual volunteers to act as ‘friendship ambassadors’ throughout the games, able to welcome guests from around the...

New book updates the John Lydon story: Things Can Only Get Butter 0
ronseal 3 years

Punk rock rebel turned oleaginous corporate creep John Lydon is to have his life story made into film, with product placement by Anchor Butter's marketing team., These days Lydon is recognised for...

Cameron waits for Big Society to rescue Brits from Libyia 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Routemaster bus 'on its way'...

Cameron pays for Clegg cruise to Somalian coast 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron explained that his deputy, Nick Clegg, is currently on holiday off the African coast., 'Nick's done so much recently, I thought I - or rather he, deserved a good break....

EC fanatic writes heart-warming rags to riches bio 'Things Can Only Get Blatter' 0
ronseal 3 years
George Lucas admits he has writers block 0
Iamthestig 3 years

At the launch of his latest project, George Lucas admits to having had writers block for "at least 22 years!". "Ever since Indiana Jones and the last Crusade, I just haven't been able to come up...

New way of heating Newcastle found - arsonists gather 0
John Wiltshire 3 years