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Sun, Daily Express, and Daily Mail Merge

Busty blonde Tiffany (22) from Essex predicts coldest winter since records began. Blames immigrants...

Smart Alex 18.11.13 10:19am
Dopey banker gets smack on wrist for buying pot for Flowers

Bank worker Adrian Williams thought he’d carried out his boss’s orders when he returned to the branch with what he thought would cheer the place up a bit. But the manager, Methadonist Minister...

Midfield Diamond 18.11.13 10:17am
Dick Everyman
Road to recovery closed for resurfacing 8
jp1885 18.11.13 10:13am
Dick Everyman
Dimbleby Tattoo: Stakes Raised By Andrew Marr Cock Ring

The playful spat between veteran broadcasters David Dimbleby and Jeremy Paxman has been blown apart after fellow political pundit Andrew Marr appeared on live television sporting a full array of...

jp1885 18.11.13 8:54am
Sub-atomic particles accused of making up stuff

Been done?...

Smart Alex 18.11.13 8:39am
NSA and GCHQ admit that they don't know who killed Kennedy either.

In a dramatic revelation both the NSA and GCHQ admitted they have no idea who killed Kennedy either. The head of GCHQ also admitted that all this surveillance could have been avoided if Clinton, Bush...

ionb 18.11.13 7:38am
Laid back physicist discovers "Dark doesn't matter"

More to follow...

apepper 18.11.13 7:01am
Majority of time on dating websites spent looking at self 0
Dumbnews 18.11.13 2:52am
Man Loses All on Single Game of Pitch-and-Toss – wins Earth and All That’s In It

A gambler from Cheshire was celebrating today after being awarded “the Earth and all that’s in it” following an online game of pitch-and-toss. “I foolishly selected the option for “gamble...

deceangli 17.11.13 11:31pm
Sir Lupus
Guardian apologises for “Teresa May piercing” article

The Guardian’s reader’s editor apologised for the “poor timing” of an article that suggested that Teresa May had a piercing in an undisclosed place. He said: Our writer originally wrote that...

CulchaVulcha 17.11.13 11:21pm
British Shaver Sets a New World Record

A Brit has set a new world record re miniature Japanese flag making, after badly cutting himself while shaving...

Jesse Bigg 17.11.13 11:12pm
Jesse Bigg
Evelyn Waugh novel takes another look at bride's helper: Bridesmaid Revisited 0
Smart Alex 17.11.13 10:02pm
Smart Alex
Church backs call for age of consent to be 15 - "retrospective would be handy"

The Catholic church has backed a call for the age of consent to be reduced, but only if the change is retrospective. A spokesman for the church explained; "This is a an important debate to have in...

apepper 17.11.13 10:00pm
Miley Cyrus buys flat in Barnsley for home t'werking. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.11.13 9:56pm
Al OPecia
North Korea and Iran agree to take Syrias chemical weapons. 0
godly1966 17.11.13 9:45pm
Co-op boss quits to campaign for Mayor of Toronto 0
custard cream 17.11.13 9:39pm
custard cream
Last Chance Saloon finally closes...

The last few years haven’t been kind to the Last Chance Saloon in Cemetery Lane, Bradford. Though well-known to Bradfordians as a friendly local boozer and a reliable source of recreational drugs,...

Tripod 17.11.13 9:20pm
"my balls, your cause" : Red Square protestor goes free-lance

Moscow police have struck an unusual deal with political activist Pyotr Pavlensky : rather than face a five year prison sentence, can he please take his idiosyncratic performance protest style...

FlashArry 17.11.13 9:16pm
Flowers "My cocaine was fairtrade and responsibly sourced" 2
Scronnyglonkle 17.11.13 8:53pm
custard cream
Columbo summit. Cameron says 'Just one more thing...'

MADJEZ 17.11.13 8:52pm
custard cream
‘Spy in a bag’ voted most-wanted pocket toy this Christmas... 1
Tripod 17.11.13 8:38pm
Al OPecia
Osborne announces "serious National Treasure deficit".

Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, was forced to admit today that "we have entered a period of turbulent times for National Treasures". Citing recent arrests and ongoing convictions of...

Al OPecia 17.11.13 8:04pm
Al OPecia
Anglea Merkel's publicist confirms that she is NOT taking part in Movember.

No more soon...

deskpilot3 17.11.13 7:48pm
Last words of person found in well: “Be careful what you wish for”... 6
Tripod 17.11.13 6:56pm
Co-Op boss caught visiting the Coke Christmas truck. 0
MADJEZ 17.11.13 6:56pm
Scotland drone attack fails

Pre match rugby song Flower of Scotland fails to sedate South Africa...

daveb 17.11.13 6:38pm
Scotland RU label trip to brothel as another embarrassment waiting to happen 0
irreverendJ 17.11.13 6:33pm
Home Secretary, May, Told To Go On A Maths Course…..

….Can't count, won't count...

Jesse Bigg 17.11.13 6:02pm
Jesse Bigg
Cameron hopes plunging families into poverty will create world class footballers

After more days of soul searching in the world of English football following the latest chastening footballing lesson – this time handed to them by South American also rans Chile – Prime Minister...

Fox100 17.11.13 5:41pm
Jesse Bigg
IDS demands that the Filipinos work in Poundland

Despite the recent generosity of the British people in reacting to the horrendous devastation left by Typhoon Haiyan, the Department for Work and Pensions has been asked to investigate the emergence...

Wrenfoe 17.11.13 5:21pm