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Los Angeles hotel seeks bodyguard 0
yussle 12.02.12 11:10am
yussle
Andrew "Pontius Pilate" Lansley washes NHS-cut blood off hands- and blames GPs

Mr Lansley was late to the interview, after a failed attempt to cut petrol costs by making his driver push the car, and steer it, at the same time. He was also taken aback by the coffee served by the...

0
wolfie 12.02.12 11:00am
wolfie
Whitney Houston joins the Forever 48 Club. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.02.12 10:03am
dominic_mcg
Quadriplegic’s to be put to work

New plans to cut down benefits costs include putting Quadriplegic’s to work, it emerged last night. It is also expected that many will lose the social workers who care for them. A Government...

2
Hooch 12.02.12 9:57am
wolfie
David Cameron says he's 'devastated for loss' speaking as MP for Whitney 0
Perks 12.02.12 9:19am
Perks
. 0
dvo4fun 12.02.12 8:42am
dvo4fun
Mob of peados lynch banker for 'perverse and unnatural behaviour' 0
Immunis 12.02.12 1:20am
Immunis
Sun workers clear desks after Murdoch pledges full support

Workers at the Sun have started looking for new jobs after Rupert Murdoch pledged his full support for the newspaper...

1
apepper 12.02.12 12:23am
Quaz
Bose launch baby-crying cancelling headphones 2
Dumbnews 11.02.12 10:39pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Nazareth couple tell Levinson enquiry 'Bible scribes hacked their mobiles'. 0
MADJEZ 11.02.12 9:36pm
MADJEZ
The NewsBicuit Crossword 1
Smart Alex 11.02.12 6:07pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Coach party surprise head-count results after touristvisit to the Fukushima nucl 1
Smart Alex 11.02.12 5:25pm
dvo4fun
Now praying in cars may be outlawed

Saying prayers in a motor vehicle could soon be illegal if the National Secular Society (NSS) gets its way. Flush from its successful court case to ban prayers at council meetings, the society now...

0
roybland 11.02.12 4:11pm
roybland
Government attacks ban on prayers; "praying is official treasury policy"

The government launched an attack on the ban of praying for councillors, "praying is pretty much our only official policy now, that and buying lottery tickets."...

0
apepper 11.02.12 3:24pm
apepper
City news: Exocet shares tipped, ahead of "Falklands 30th" 2
dvo4fun 11.02.12 2:06pm
godly1966
Cameron's Old Nurse 'Goes All Bolshie'.........

"David, go and wash that silly makeup off your face, this minute! You stupid boy!"...

0
Jesse Bigg 11.02.12 11:55am
Jesse Bigg
PM gets down and dirty to promote Care

"All right who's next?" cried PM David Cameron as he deftly finished wiping the bottom of 87 year-old Effie Grace in the Sunny Lawns Care Home in Leicester yesterday. "That's you ready for the road,...

2
Drylaw 11.02.12 11:18am
beau-jolly
God stages political comeback by stint on "have I got news for you"

merton to be partnered by a tub of hot crossed buns...

2
wolfie 11.02.12 11:15am
beau-jolly
Argentina complains UK military build-up makes Falklands 'much harder to invade' 2
11.02.12 11:07am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Argentina complains about unclear sub

Do I get the prize for most obscure pun of the day ?...

3
Sinnick 11.02.12 11:04am
beau-jolly
Greeks to Tax Strikes

German pressure has caused Greece to rethink methods of raising tax revenue in light of the 130bn Euro bailout being offered by the IMF. Prime Minister, Lucas Papademos, has today announced that...

0
ozythelabrador 11.02.12 10:48am
ozythelabrador
Lions prefer ‘seasoned travellers’, study shows.

Salt, a pinch of pepper and a little nutmeg...

2
John Ffitch-Rucker 11.02.12 9:43am
button
Harry Potter must wear hi-viz tabard over invisibility cloak, rules HSE 4
cinquecento 11.02.12 8:47am
Sinnick
Chaos at funeral as mourners witness the deceased 'think out of the box' 0
pinxit 11.02.12 8:47am
pinxit
Airfix causes controversy with commemorative General Belgrano model set

Famous model kit manufacturer airfix today refused to apologise for it's controversial new model set which contains both the ARA General Belgrano and the submarine that sunk her HMS Conqueror. A...

4
borednow 11.02.12 8:46am
borednow
Police in desperate search for missing student wearing North Face jacket 1
Dumbnews 11.02.12 8:45am
Sinnick
Damon Allbran to launch world music breakfast cereal.

His life has already been a multimedia Blur. Cartoons, stage shows, orchestras, videos, rockbands. He even hired a cheese player, and turned him into a bassmonger. But now Damon Allbran has gone...

1
nickb 11.02.12 7:38am
Golgo13
Charities look set to cash in as news international agree celeb payouts

With the number of celebrities receiving out of court settlements from news international following the phone hacking scandal growing this week a great many charities look set to benefit from celeb...

1
borednow 11.02.12 7:34am
Golgo13
'Arry 'the nation's choice' say a bunch of football reporters

'Arry Redknapp is the nation's choice for England football manager, a handful of football reporters have decided. Cheerful cockney Redknapp, who can sort of speak English, if not quite write it, is...

1
roybland 11.02.12 7:02am
dvo4fun
Egyptian pyramids revealed to be no more than unused building materials piled up 0
Dumbnews 11.02.12 6:09am
Dumbnews