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Supermarket slammed for tasteless 'cold cross bun' range 3
Squudge 25.03.13 11:07pm
sponge finger
Cameron's Och Aye The Noo remark provokes mental Scotsman to violence 0
Drylaw 25.03.13 10:57pm
Alzheimer's Association to launch new cycling event - Tour de mentia 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:56pm
custard cream
School confirms triangular flapjacks are fine, if they are in high vis cover 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:49pm
custard cream
Health Dept. officials confirm NHS 111 is not a film sequel 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:47pm
custard cream
Casualty actor in casualty as ear bitten off 0
custard cream 25.03.13 10:39pm
custard cream
Carrots, parsnips and asparagus to have nasty dangerous pointy bits removed

before sale, and must only be on display if behind an armoured glass safety screen. Industrial gloves must be worn when handling Pineapples., (Got to be scope here for some Photoshopping?)...

Titus 25.03.13 10:00pm
The Top 10 Most Useless Mobile Phone Apps

Sometimes it takes more than a boffin with a Mac to come up with a killer app idea. Here’s a top 10 of the best of the worst apps ever to be released: 10. The 'Battery Monitor' App: designed to...

Slante Dangle 25.03.13 9:30pm
Slante Dangle
Canvey Island Health and Safety Officers to close all corner shops. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.03.13 9:10pm
Essex police call for Toblerone amnesty 0
Ian Searle 25.03.13 9:07pm
Ian Searle
Isle of Wight homes still have no electricity. Weather not to blame. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 25.03.13 9:05pm
Runaway Swan bowls maiden over. 0
godly1966 25.03.13 9:04pm
Headless chickens dismayed by constant comparison with Government.

More soon, and for the next 20 years...

sigmund 25.03.13 9:03pm
TESCO Says "Our Dodgy Food May Contain Horse But At Least It's Not Triangular" 0
Titus 25.03.13 8:41pm
Britain & France Urge EU To Arm Syrian Rebels With Triangular Food Parcels 1
Titus 25.03.13 8:30pm
Grand Prix results drama: "I was only not obeying orders" says Vettel

more (casual national sterotyping) later...

dvo4fun 25.03.13 8:24pm
Maths teacher confirms flapjacks are dangerous "if thrown from the right angle" 4
charlies_hat 25.03.13 8:22pm
New Anti-Virginity Drive to Improve IT

Industry insiders warned today that an excess of nerdy virgins threatens to cripple the nation's IT infrastructure. The latest casualty is the NHS 111 service, which has failed to launch despite...

deceangli 25.03.13 8:17pm
All warning 'triangles' to be circular from now insists HSE... No sharp edges.

Other 'pointless' safety signs urgently being reviewed...

Jammydodgers 25.03.13 7:49pm
‘Cash4Organs’ opens in Barnsley...

A new business is hoping to exploit the ‘Oh, fuck, I’m broke and I don’t get paid till Friday’ sector of the ‘I’m holding down two jobs and I still can’t pay the sodding bills’ market...

Tripod 25.03.13 7:35pm
Iran only months away from Triangular Flapjacks claims Israel.

Can be launched in 45 minutes say Netanyahu...

Zen 25.03.13 7:24pm
Researcher finds Chimp, Human DNA 100% the same 4
Dumbnews 25.03.13 6:59pm
School food to be served intravenously to avoid chocking hazard 0
pbramwell 25.03.13 4:36pm
Challenge 21 scheme to be extended to incorporate triangular flapjack

After a shocking assault with a pointed flapjack at one Essex school, dubbed the buttery biscuit base massacre, food vendors across the country have got together to universally agree to extend the...

theinvisiblecitychannels 25.03.13 3:54pm
New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb - 2

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat...

Ludicity 25.03.13 3:51pm
Tristan Shout
Nation's hitmen to be given "novelty whack" tax incentive

George Osbourne has confirmed his intention to get Britain's assassins "up to world-class whacking standards" by offering tax breaks for the most creative hit-jobs, including for the victims'...

SuburbanDad 25.03.13 3:43pm
Resurrection of George Osborne 'unlikely'

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is unlikely to rise from the dead over the Easter holiday according to reports. Osborne, who died after suffering a series of failed budgets, had been...

roybland 25.03.13 3:13pm
God challenges tooth fairy to popularity contest 0
sydalg 25.03.13 2:48pm
BMW drivers declared disabled in parking amnesty

Disability rights groups have reacted furiously to the news that, from next week, all new BMWs will come with a disabled parking badge etched into the windscreen. Councils across Britain claim they...

NewSuburbanDad 25.03.13 2:45pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
North Korea stock piles Essex Flapjacks 0
pbramwell 25.03.13 2:45pm