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Pumpkin prices hit year long high 5
grumblechops 4 years

The price of pumpkins hit a year-long high today- almost exactly a year after a similar high was followed by a devastating crash which wiped millions off the global value of the crop. A spokesman...

Viagra industry facing hard times 9
Dumbnews 4 years
Pre-christmas shagging produces stupid kids, claims IFS 0
medici2471 4 years
Greek debts suddenly disappear. Wooden horse spotted outside of ECB. 0
JohnA 4 years
Footballer Apologises Over Race Row 12
reforse 4 years

Footballer Kevin Keegan today bowed to 3o years of pressure and apologised over his race comments. In 1976 the then Liverpool striker came off his bike in a spectacular crash during the heats of the...

Public anger at media for describing the word 'black' as a racial slur 0
kga6 4 years

The general public have launched a scathing attack at 'tabloid journalism' after they repeatedly described footballer John Terry's alleged use of the 'black' as a racial slur. "If you woke up...

As World economy declines, Robert Peston's smugness grows. 6
Perks 4 years

On the day the International Labour Organization has reported the world is on the verge of a global recession, the BBC have announced that their Business Editor, Robert Peston's smugness is beginning...

Farmers' sheep rounding troubles over as NASA investigate tractor beams 0
kga6 4 years
Referendum to finally answer "What's a Greek Urn?" 2
apepper 4 years

Comedians throughout the Eurozone have been thrown into chaos with the Greek decision to hold a referendum to finally discover the answer to the timeless "What's a Greek Urn?" question. Opinion...

Shares down at plough manufacturers. 2
spoole2112 4 years
Richard Dawkins appointed new Dean of St Paul's 2
apepper 4 years

Well known writer on religion, Richard Dawkins, is to be the new Dean of St Paul's Cathedral. Church leaders denied that there was no-one else available. "He's the best man for the job.", said a...

Republican voters still without power in US northeast. 0
Griffin 4 years
Betting syndicate wins a fortune on outcome of cricket trial. 0
spoole2112 4 years

More later...

Thermal imaging cameras show no clergy left in St Pauls 6
button 4 years
Strictly don't come, dancing 5
Screenie 4 years
Thermal imaging cameras show no evidence of human life in packed Square Mile 8
Qoxiivi 4 years
If tornados are Gods fury, then God is mostly furious with mobile homes 0
Dumbnews 4 years
New thermal imaging devices can reveal thermal underwear. 0
nickb 4 years

Long johns and long sleeve vests worn by both sexes will be detectable to specially adapted cameras, as a result of advances in heat-detecting and interlock weave technology. Manufacturers and...

Greek PM called on to resign, "will ask my mum and dad." 0
Boutros 4 years
Townsend 'misunderstood' after urging 'internet vampires' to groom young talent 0
pinxit 4 years
Miliband slams Devil’s record on making work for idle hands 0
ianslat 4 years

Labour leader Ed Miliband today criticised the Devil for what he called a ‘woefully inadequate’ record on making work for idle hands. In a speech to business leaders he said ‘many people...

Breeder snares rival birds with Sunday roost and all the trimmings 3
vertical 4 years

Top breeder Mick Dense faces claims that he used a well stocked loft to lure rival pigeons into an avian 'love pad' during weekend race contests. Accusations include attractive hen birds tethered to...

Savile row over bequest of star's suits 5
medici2471 4 years
Greece's credit rating adjusted to FU2 1
Griffin 4 years
Goths enjoy 'casual' clothes day on Halloween 2
thackaray 4 years
Squatting criminalization will cause havoc say toilet attendants 0
tedweasel 4 years
Bouncers to end piracy 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 4 years

The shipping industry has announced today that it is going to employ nightclub bouncers on ships in an attempt to finally bring piracy to an end. The news comes just days after the Prime Minister...

St Paul's camp, claim gay clergy 4
medici2471 4 years
Hackers thwarted by discovery that Government had 'nothing worth nicking'. 0
Boutros 4 years
DoE cancels meeting with multi-cultural environmentalists because of 'cold' 1
Perks 4 years

The Duke of Edinburgh has had to pull out of an official engagement in Italy because of a cold, which manifests itself as an unexpected bout of 'racist tics' The Duke was due to be attending a...