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Eriksson denies conning FA into thinking England could win World Cup 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Superinjuction prevents naming winner of PFA Adulterer of the Year award 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gadaffi blamed for mass grave found in Derbyshire 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Protest Police Concentrated too Much on Kettering 0
arthurminnit 3 years

apologies if its been done before...

PM to demonstrate consistent foreign policy by invading every country on earth 4
OllieP 3 years

David Cameron has announced that Britain will be invading every nation on earth in a bid to please those who criticise the selective nature of Britain's foreign military interventions. While the...

Police Identity Theft an "Inside Job". 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years

Inspector Spooner of the Yard claims "It's hot nackers". The Inspector was otherwise light-tipped last night...

Oxford Professor Has Date For Last Supper........ 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years
Pub landlord wants gay men kissing only in private areas 7
charlies_hat 3 years
"Damned if you do, damned if you don't?", then do something different 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Restaurant to charge extra e if you dare order their low-price special 0
Dumbnews 3 years
World of philosophy in despair as Ockham justifies growing a beard. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Horrific accident ends career of naked high-hurdles champion 0
FlashArry 3 years

"I heard a thwack, a snap and a blood-curdling scream as he hit that third hurdle."...

France stops trains of immigrants from entering by putting leaves on tracks. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
God is dead, police hold Nietzsche for questioning 0
Batmankoff 3 years

more to follow...

Oxford residents describe Netto opening as a 'freak show' after hefty hype 3
ThatsHowISwissRoll 3 years

The proposed dream of Nick Clegg, materialised yesterday, when the grand opening of Netto, Oxford took place. The new Netto sits snugly at the bottom of the Botanic Gardens. Clegg claimed it was a...

Harry Promoted. Nice Timing! 0
BewsNiscuit 3 years

In a joint communique this evening, the MoD and Buckingham Palace have been delighted to announce that Lieutenant H Wales has been given the wank of a Captain and a new uniform. Oh! Peel those...

London Marathon to be renamed London Snickers 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

because its packed full of nuts...

Annie's only Laying Peepfrog - with Andy and Teddy... 3
BewsNiscuit 3 years

From our Royal Correspondent : "Bad" Prince Andrew was, last night, said to be "incandescent with rage" at the very thought of sliding further down the line of succession to the throne if the rules...

MODleaks the 'New' Wikileaks 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

After publishing vital submarine and strategic planning information on the web the MOD has said 'This is just the beginning. We plan to publish everything before we are sacked by the cuts'...

Toddlers to have quadruple watermelon jab to prevent outbreak of mellotonitus 0
The known Doctor 3 years

Toddlers are to be given the quadruple watermelon jab to prevent a possible global spread of mellotonitus. This disease is very contagious and can have very harming effects to children under the age...

John Todt proposes new ejector system in the wake of Button pit stop error 0
news-on-the-streete 3 years

John Todt expressed concerns over Jenson Button's pit stop error in today’s Chinese Grand Prix. The McLaren driver, Button, mistakenly tried to stop in Red Bull pit, before being shooed into his...

Princesses may no longer have to assassinated, say government. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Thousands in the running to be next London Marathon winner. 0
ThatAndyDavisFellow 3 years
Japan unveils nuclear crisis plan 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Brazilian nervous of fun runners in London Marathon 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Cadbury's "launching Clusters bombs" 2
beau-jolly 3 years

Elton John preparing new version of “Candle” for Kate if things don’t work out 15
virtuallywill 3 years

Candle burned out long before the media interest ever did...

Police arrest 35,000 jay-walkers in Central London. more soon 0
Mrblacker 3 years
“Gender Equality has failed” says Cameron. 2
ThatAndyDavisFellow 3 years

Prime Minister David Cameron signalled a major shift in policy today, in a speech to other EU leaders, when he announced that “the Gender Equality experiment has failed”. Attending a conference...

Man City supporters club expel fan for ordering celebratory Pinot Grigio 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

In the heart of the blue side of Manchester, the Blue Moon pub is the place to be for devout City supporters. However the wild celebratory scenes were cut short by Brian Grimshaw, 48 from Hyde...