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Newsbiscuit disappears into alternative universe "to recycle old submissions".

More again soon...

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Al OPecia 14.05.12 7:07am
Al OPecia
Neil Diamond Headlines Branson, MO Theatre but No one Cares

Branson, MO, USA Long time singer-songwriter Neil Diamond made, what his agent calls, "A triumphant comeback" to Branson's 2,500 seat Osmond Theatre, but the expected audience never materialized.,...

0
chrisjaybecker 14.05.12 2:54am
chrisjaybecker
Man city Sheik Manchester with Allahst gasp title winner 0
tonylemesma 13.05.12 10:12pm
tonylemesma
Haiti applies to compete in Eurovision Song Contest...

"We're at least as European as countries like Israel and Turkey", claims Haitian spokesperson...

0
Smart Alex 13.05.12 9:48pm
Smart Alex
Brooks denies "doing Charlie" at Chequers sleepover 0
nickb 13.05.12 8:58pm
nickb
Cameron doubtful re attending Olympic opening.....

as all depends on his skiving schedule...

0
Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:19pm
Jesse Bigg
Tory cuts hit London Olympics.....

starting gun - a blown up crisp packet...

0
Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:04pm
Jesse Bigg
Emergency aid shipment of sky blue shirts despatched to Surrey 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.05.12 7:58pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Malcolm X (Wise Head) Statue

to be unveiled soon...

0
Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 7:55pm
Jesse Bigg
Simon Cowell lures Pudsey away with dog biscuit and bottom sniffing deal

The cut-throat nature of show business was once again shown as Britain’s Got Talent boss Simon Cowell signed Pudsey the performing dog but not Pudsey’s fellow winner 17 year old Ashleigh Butler....

0
Yikes 13.05.12 7:53pm
Yikes
Brain Blessed to understudy for Ian Paisley as Olympics' sonic weapon

MORE LATER!...

0
dvo4fun 13.05.12 7:21pm
dvo4fun
Mugging targets urged to carry more cash to avoid “social death”

It’s a nightmare scenario – to be violently robbed and murdered and then have the tabloids scream: “Socialite killed for 85p and a TV Guide.” Image consultant Jane Smith says such luridly...

3
Yikes 13.05.12 7:01pm
dvo4fun
Surrey residents gutted their team came second in the Premiership. 0
MADJEZ 13.05.12 6:18pm
MADJEZ
Lord Archer re-enters public life as Daily Mail fact checker

More follows...

0
apepper 13.05.12 5:58pm
apepper
Bookmakers install Manchester City as favourites for 2056 Premier League title 0
Mandy Lifeboat 13.05.12 5:27pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Bangla Desh government announces new austerity measures. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 1:30am
Maverick
Greek President looking for a donor. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 1:26am
Maverick
Metropolitan Police to outsource training to Taliban. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 12:55am
Maverick
MP Begbie in Leveson furore

Lex Begbie, Labour MP for Dumbarton West and holder of the largest current parliamentary majority (65,000), took the oath and took the stand in front of the Leveson Inquiry today. Mr Begbie sipped a...

0
Drylaw 12.05.12 10:39pm
Drylaw
Dogs Officially Better Than Humans Says Public

Pudsey and your woman’s win in Saturday Night’s Britain’s Got Talent Live Final is proof than dogs are better than humans, was the verdict of animal lovers everywhere., Peta member Sharon...

0
Hooch 12.05.12 10:23pm
Hooch
Michael Fish new heir to the throne

In a bizarre twist, Mr Charles Windsor (the weather forecaster formally known as Prince) has exchanged jobs with Michael Fish (now to be known as Prince Michael of Hurricane or, less formally, the...

1
apepper 12.05.12 10:19pm
Drylaw
Government scraps fighter plane order - buys exploding underpants instead. 0
deskpilot3 12.05.12 9:38pm
deskpilot3
Critics pan new Greek drachma for poor direction and lack of leading man 0
charlies_hat 12.05.12 7:47pm
charlies_hat
Too many actors employed as Singing In The Rain remake is "overcast" 0
seymour totti 12.05.12 7:30pm
seymour totti
Lapdancer stripped of pole position

Yeah, I do one-liners as well...

0
Gary Stanton 12.05.12 7:10pm
Gary Stanton
Jeremy Hunt "has to resign three times"

Culture secretary has thrown government lawyers into chaos. A number 10 source said, "Technically, he should resign at least three times, maybe four. It's difficult to see how that's going to...

1
apepper 12.05.12 5:43pm
Spitfire celebrates 75th anniversary with return to front-line action over Libya

After claiming recent defence budget cuts 'in no way reduced our capability', Prime Minister David Cameron proudly announced the return of the Spitfire to frontline service., 'Of course we've...

14
Ironduke 12.05.12 4:02pm
bonjonelson
Stable boy charged with grooming. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.05.12 12:59pm
dominic_mcg
Second coming of Christ postponed as he is voted out in semifinal. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 12.05.12 12:55pm
dominic_mcg
Big Ben bongs 'a hit' in House of Commons gift shop.

After heavy promotion by radio and TV news programmes, Big Ben bongs have finally outsold Palace of Westminster teapots in the gift shop of the House of Commons. Annie’s Bar Punch came a close...

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nickb 12.05.12 12:52pm
nickb