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Two Men Walked into a Bar

You would have thought the second would have realised?...

0
GillsImp 28.03.12 7:33pm
GillsImp
Henry IV denies responsibility for enciting warfare

So shaken as we are, so wan with care Find we a time for frighted peace to pant,, And breathe short-winded accents of new broils, To be commenced in strands afar remote. Henry denied to comment...

0
GillsImp 28.03.12 7:19pm
GillsImp
Conspiracy Theorist Fails to deny Conspiracy

A conspiracy theorist has denied reporte that conspiracies are just a theory. This has puzzled various groups including the illuminati who believe that this is lights the fire of confusion...

0
GillsImp 28.03.12 6:42pm
GillsImp
Racing barnacles compete in limpet games 1
nickb 28.03.12 6:24pm
Haywood Manley
Train carriage evacuated as passenger sets phone to "silent but deadly" mode. 0
Haywood Manley 28.03.12 6:19pm
Haywood Manley
Dead inventor of Greek dip gets posthumous praise 5
nickb 28.03.12 6:13pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Tulisa seeks gagging order 16
medici2471 28.03.12 6:12pm
godly1966
Dignitas to introduce new Gift Vouchers and Loyalty schemes

This journalist asks is there an Exit strategy...

0
Scronnyglonkle 28.03.12 5:36pm
Scronnyglonkle
Petrol Stations reporting Nectar points shortages 0
Scronnyglonkle 28.03.12 5:32pm
Scronnyglonkle
Traffic Warden praised for customer service

A traffic warden working in Buckingham has become the first ‘civil enforcement officer’ to have received a letter of praise. The letter was written by a motorist who had been penalised for...

4
Perks 28.03.12 5:27pm
dvo4fun
Osborne hopes to curb satire with the introduction of pastiche tax 1
simonjmr 28.03.12 4:31pm
kga6
'Stapling stuff' is in our genes say Docs

A two year study into office worker habits has led to the conclusion that humans are ingrained with 'the need to staple stuff'. The blind study, so described due to the number of staple related eye...

2
kga6 28.03.12 4:18pm
kga6
Maude Bullish about petrol storage ideas

Minister for the Cabinet Office, Francis Maude has defended his plans for the public storage of fuel today. Speaking outside the Houses of Parliament, Maude was bullish about his suggestion that...

0
monkeechicken 28.03.12 4:10pm
monkeechicken
US face transplant success offers solution to Labour concerns over Ed Miliband

Labour supporters are said to be ‘cautiously optimistic’ today after news of a successful face transplant in the US opened up the potential for quietly replacing a worryingly inept party leader...

6
Vertically Challenged Giant 28.03.12 4:07pm
Qoxiivi
Scientists discover new 'heat' description

Up until now there have been three different colours to describe heat: Red Hot (just hot), White Hot (very hot) and Blue Hot (extremely hot). But now a group of scientists from London University...

0
Exiled Royal 28.03.12 3:43pm
Exiled Royal
Cook chill manufacturer "too chilled to cook" 0
nickb 28.03.12 3:23pm
nickb
Food critics insist Greggs pasties will continue to be zero rated 1
charlies_hat 28.03.12 3:02pm
medici2471
It gets worse for jailed Twitter-Twat as US seeks extradition

That Welsh bloke who was jailed for tweeting stupid racist stuff is to face an ordinary rendition to an American State Penitentiary, under Britain's new draconian One Way Extradition Treaty. [I'M...

0
ronseal 28.03.12 2:59pm
ronseal
NHS to strike next week....

Francis Maude advises people not to panic and just make sure they have adaquete supplies of scalpels, X-ray machines, rubber gloves, heart monitors, scanning equipment , antibiotics and Viagra...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 28.03.12 2:44pm
Theodore Sprangshaft
Sex Mad Clam Finally Finds Love

It was reported that a clam apparently unsuccessful in finding a partner has pulled a muscle...

0
GillsImp 28.03.12 2:36pm
GillsImp
EU forces Poundland to go metric. In future will be known as Kiloland. 0
MADJEZ 28.03.12 2:34pm
MADJEZ
Stockpiling at the Pumps

I actually saw this for myself. Loads of people at my local petrol station leaving stock on the forecourt. The council will have a job clearing all the mess...

0
GillsImp 28.03.12 2:31pm
GillsImp
The Mighty Drive

Peter Allen.' A man in Norwich claims he has discovered a cure for apathy but first the weather'...

0
Theodore Sprangshaft 28.03.12 2:29pm
Theodore Sprangshaft
Come into the Garage, Maude

The career of Tory Cabinet Office Minister Francis Maude was said to be 'up in smoke' today after he advised the public to store petrol in their homes. Maude urged people to take "sensible...

0
pinxit 28.03.12 2:15pm
pinxit
BBC to axe 140 news correspondents

The BBC has announced its intention to cut 140 positions from its News department as part of an attempt to slash over £200m from its budget. The move has been criticised by a number of experts and...

0
grumblechops 28.03.12 1:58pm
grumblechops
Secret lives of vegetables exposed on WikiLeeks

That's shallot...

0
Smart Alex 28.03.12 1:47pm
Smart Alex
Pope eagerly accepts Fiddle Castro invitation 0
medici2471 28.03.12 1:17pm
medici2471
Israeli Olympic team to occupy Palestinian accommodation "for safety reasons."

"The Palestinians will easily be able to squeeze into the generous 4 man dormitory we have left for them, however, we will have to cut off any water and lighting for their own safety" said a...

0
ianrbland 28.03.12 1:02pm
ianrbland
Vatican investigation into Drug taking reports many Nuns have a habit

The report also goes on to say a culture of wine drinking is rife amongst priests...

0
Scronnyglonkle 28.03.12 12:51pm
Scronnyglonkle
Clegg: "£100 for dinner with me is the limit - I can't afford any more". 0
ianrbland 28.03.12 12:41pm
ianrbland