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Audley Harrison "making hay"... 0
Doylem 3 years

“People may mock. But I got £1m for landing just one punch in three rounds. Let’s break those figures down. That’s £1m per punch. I’m a peaceful man. I don’t want to hurt anyone. If that...

86% of British beaches now "cleanest ever" 6
MC One R 3 years

A euphemistic way of saying you have a 14% chance of swimming in piss at the beach in 2011...

Scientists discover 'fat gene' 0
riesler 3 years

http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQ7uSdG0W9gafPahPg81SYMMylad4TRP4-sHc7DrygwOhQP3TjnJQ 'Who are you calling fat, you nonce!'...

Waterboarding - Government Acts to Dampen Down Protests 0
De-scribe 3 years
Woman Who Died in Stabbing Named Anita Dicken 0
Grover 3 years

Police have confirmed that a woman who died in Carmarthenshire stabbing was actually named Anita Dicken. Ms, a-hem, Dicken, was found in the Maesyfelin area of Pontyberem at about around 1655 GMT...

Happiness poll predicted to find it's no longer the greatest gift that I possess 0
Ian Searle 3 years

It has been over taken by Ferrero Roche...

Social outcry as Coarse Salt and Refined Sugar are stored in the same cupboard. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Clegg blames Liberal tuition fees u-turn on broken shag band 0
jp1885 3 years

Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has revealed that the change in his parties stance on raising tuition fees came about after a plastic ‘shag band’ he was wearing was...

Poll finds voters unhappy about being polled on happiness 0
roybland 3 years
TV-build up to Christmas 'Not the Same without Penis Gobbling' says Ofcom survey 3
pinxit 3 years

Get me out of here...

Japanese Emo girl gets online translation and it leads her to 3
arrghgarry 3 years
30% of 50 year olds have no retirement pot, most will have to rely 4
arrghgarry 3 years

on E or opium ...

Suu Kyi risks re-arrest if she attempts to take kettle off again, warns Polly 4
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

New allegations about Suu Kyi have emerged, after an alleged rift with Polly over kettling. While Polly was in favour of putting the kettle on, Suu Kyi is understood to have undermined her efforts,...

National Lottery Live releases balls after receiving £15 million 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Recession-Hit Colleges to Introduce “Dangerous Thing” Courses 0
De-scribe 3 years

a little more soon...

Audley harrison waiting for the advertising deals to roll in 0
arrghgarry 3 years

after teaming up with Fred Goodwin he sees nothing but blue skys ahead...

James Blunt Averted World War 3 - by Not Singing in Broken Down Train 0
De-scribe 3 years
Contest was just too one-sided complains Haye after Chelsea match 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
We are all in this together 0
MC One R 3 years

"that's why we are SLASHING bonuses to only £4bill." Stiff British upper lips chaps!...

Boris Johnson denies everything he says is 'a euphemism for sex' 3
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Suu Kyi the winner in Burmese "Big Brother" 0
Sinnick 3 years
Irish Government denies secret talks with Robert Peston 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Fat gene identified by scientists says it is just big-boned 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Couple released by pirates prepare to sail home 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Lembit Opik admits Cheeky Girl "didn't know who I was" when they first met 0
Scroat 3 years

More from the jungle soon...

Daily Mail to launch hard core special for left wng high dudgeon addicts 7
ronseal 3 years

Daily Mail publisher Associated Press is to launch a weekly hard core, under-the-counter, concentrated bile supplement to satisfy its most loyal readers - indignant liberals addicted to being...

Ireland asks EU for Euros, not potatoes as reported erlier 2
Ostsee 3 years
Kent Yachting Couple To Pick Up 'Slimmer of the Year' Award. 0
IABP 3 years

Less soon. More news in brief: Kent Yachting Couple 'Beaten By Pirates' Yet To Say What At William Hague Adamant Government Did Bugger All For Yachting Couple Foreign Secretary William Hague said...

Aung San Suu Kyi 'disappointed' at lack of Rangoon Starbucks 0
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Burma's newly-freed pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi has slammed the country's military junta after she spent two days hunting unsuccessfully for a Starbucks in the capital Rangoon. 'I've been...

James Blunt "freed Nelson Mandela" 3
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...