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Shepherding for Dummies

Shepherding for Dummies to be published next month. You herd it here first...

drtrade 06.06.13 4:06am
Public warned about bogus lollipop men.

The police are warning the public to be on the lookout for a growing number of bogus, unqualified lollipop men operating across Britain. Their numbers have risen sharply over the past eighteen months...

sredni vashta 06.06.13 3:34am
FA launch daily England kit

In time for Friday night at the pub, the FA today launched England’s newest football kit. Modeled by John Terry in the ‘Dog and Duck’, Plaistow, the kit contained classic elements of last...

suki 06.06.13 3:12am
Breaking News: Jihadists Friday Prayer BBQ catastrophe at Muswell Hill Mosque 0
06.06.13 12:43am
Dictator's distorted vision of reality to be fixed with Google Glass 1
Dumbnews 05.06.13 11:59pm
sredni vashta
Joe Walsh fined for spending too much time in the fast lane 3
Smart Alex 05.06.13 11:53pm
Britain's toilet seat makers celebrate yet another germ comparison study triumph

Britain's toilet seat makers were cock a hoop last night after 'cleaning up' in yet another bacteria benchmark. In the last year, toilet seats have been pitched against train seats, make up bags...

ronseal 05.06.13 9:54pm
German "plus-size" economy splits feminists

A recent ad campaign to promote the EU has caused much consternation in the female community. Rather than using the gaunt, deficit-ridden image of a bronzed, southern European nation, marketing...

Wrenfoe 05.06.13 7:35pm
Rebel Tory backbenchers reveal plans to stop Ministers hogging the middle ground 1
Scronnyglonkle 05.06.13 7:26pm
Kamprad Jnr given seat on the board, if he can assemble it. 0
Maverick 05.06.13 6:35pm
17% of children "just fucking stupid"

Almost one in five children in today's schools are just plain fucking stupid, according to a new report released this morning by The Department of Education. The report was issued by the Department...

jamsieoconnor 05.06.13 6:22pm
I haven't made a decent movie since Steamboat Willie, admits Mickey Mouse

Mickey Mouse has given his most controversial interview ever - and he's pulling no punches as he lays into everyone from method actors to Mickey Rourke. He even puts the boot into Goofy, who he...

ronseal 05.06.13 6:09pm
Thought-guided government yet to take off. 0
Sir Lupus 05.06.13 6:09pm
Sir Lupus
Katrina and the Waves "may also be particles", claim physicists. 2
bonjonelson 05.06.13 6:08pm
Angling bait to be sold online 0
Smart Alex 05.06.13 5:39pm
Smart Alex
RSPB concerned as Toilet Duck is put on endangered species list. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 05.06.13 5:37pm
Smart Alex
Police to fine people who listen to The Middle Of The Road by The Pretenders 3
Ian Searle 05.06.13 4:52pm
Ian Searle
Ryanair customer wins on-flight lottery - get's return flight on Thomson. 1
raudus 05.06.13 4:50pm
Isle of Man re-designs flag in denial of Rolf Harris connection

The Manx government has taken steps to distance itself from any connection with Rolf Harris in the light of the Australian entertainer’s recent arrest. The singer is thought to have been inspired...

Dick Everyman 05.06.13 4:25pm
Dick Everyman
Faulty Brian Scanner reveals three Trevors, two Kevins and a Colin 3
Dick Everyman 05.06.13 4:07pm
Lindy Moone
Millions face cancer risk from passive cunnilingus

In the wake of Michael Douglas's throat cancer revelations, medical experts are warning people to beware of the environmental risks of being in the vicinity of a mouth-to-vagina sex act, with some...

sydalg 05.06.13 3:17pm
Dick Everyman
In-laws revealed to be number 1 cause of outlaws. 7
Lindy Moone 05.06.13 3:14pm
Dick Everyman
Dyslexic regrets hiring inferior decorator.

Inspired by brianflan's sub...

sredni vashta 05.06.13 2:41pm
sredni vashta
Arial Black wrongly named Arial Narrow: Vicar used the wrong font.

Hat tip to Bertrand...

weematt 05.06.13 2:06pm
Michael Douglas misquoted; actually said, "I've got my cancer licked."

Must have been done before, surely?...

FOAD 05.06.13 2:02pm
Ryanair Delivers 'Surcharge with a Smile' Initiative

The age-old saying ‘manners cost nothing,’ now seem to be a thing of the past as Ryanair has introduced a surcharge for courtesy. Mark Pye, Public Relations Executive said. “In today’s fast...

brianflan 05.06.13 1:59pm
John Wiltshire
Motorways jammed as on-the-spot fines begin

Motorways all over the UK were jammed solid today as the new policy of on-the-spot fines for middle-lane hoggers and tailgaters was implemented. The Chief Constable of Surrey, Sir Peter Harris,...

John Wiltshire 05.06.13 1:02pm
John Wiltshire
Cameron to dispel fears of Med jellyfish plague with "Hug a jellyfish" campaign 0
Smart Alex 05.06.13 12:36pm
Smart Alex
New Pope’s humility ‘getting on everyone’s tits’ admit cardinals

Newly-enthroned Pope Francis is allegedly ‘pissing everybody off big time’ with his ‘low key, unostentatious manner and general Christlike humility of spirit’, according to Vatican insiders....

Skylarking 05.06.13 12:14pm
Arial Black breaks up with Lucida Bright - "she just wasn't my type" 0
Bertrand Twisted 05.06.13 10:06am
Bertrand Twisted