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PM's Bid to Replace the Soldier with First Person Shooter 0
ruthless1 3 years

Fighting wars to be replaced by large numbers of “volunteers” playing Call of Duty in David Cameron’s new bid to reform the military But even the most experienced gamers are showing concerns....

Judgement day cancelled due to inclement weather 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Major delays for depressives after abyss closed for essential repairs 3
Ludicity 3 years

People hoping to stare headlong into the abyss will face yet another setback to their lives after the Highways Agency announced that the vast chasm of gloom has been closed in order to perform...

Tapping the wisdom of the Holistic Plumbers’ Collective... 0
Doylem 3 years

Trevor Blackwell is a founder member of the Holistic Plumbers' Collective. “Our mission statement”, says Trevor, “is to try and put plumbing problems into a more global context”. Instead of...

Alopecia sufferers launch comparethemerkin.com 1
simonjmr 3 years

Simples - More soon...

Local woman claims “special powers”... 0
Doylem 3 years

Mandy Thomas, self-styled psychic and tarot card carder, claims to have ‘special powers’, based on the interpretation of signs, portents and premonitions. Of genuine powers there appears to be...

"We cannot not afford not to not reform the NHS" clarifies number 10 spokesman. 0
andhrimnir 3 years
Skepticism about astrology “a very Taurean characteristic”, says astrologer... 0
Doylem 3 years
Chat-up lines to avoid, no 27: “Have you always been a woman?”... 4
Doylem 3 years
Ikeapeadia - directory of self assembly furniture stores to be published 1
simonjmr 3 years
""Space missions are as easy as falling off a bike" 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Shuttle astronaut Tim Kopra said in a NASA press statement today...

“Men welcome at readers’ group”, says organiser. “Honestly”... 6
Doylem 3 years

“We meet every fortnight”, said Stella Andrews, who runs the readers’ group, “usually in someone’s home. It’s an opportunity to relax, talk about soft furnishings and have a glass or two...

Native American Cherokee Leader "Two Dogs Fucking " atlthough lacking a birth 0
melody 3 years

certificate ,(his dads word is enough) ,eyes a run for the White House ...

Pot accuses kettle of being a fame-hungry sponger. 4
Tammy Flugh 3 years
Davis Bowies wife Iman leads the prayers at the BET awards show in America 0
melody 3 years

. الله أكبر...

Sir Philip Green devises offshore scheme to help the NHS avoid billions in taxes 1
ronseal 3 years
Honour among thieves Myth busted as MP grasses on 6 others over expenses. 0
melody 3 years
Stalking horse is straw man, claims Irish Premier 2
Zadok the second 3 years

Brian Cowen, the leader of Fianna Fail has accused Micheál Martin, the Foreign Affairs Minister of being a straw man put forward by the party to confuse things. Minister Martin, who yesterday said...

Thomas Cook’s unbeatable two-for-one Tunisia deals referred to Nicky Campbell 0
Gary Stanton 3 years

Industry watchdog Nicky Campbell is to scrutinise the cut-price deals offered by travel agent Thomas Cook after they realised that the arse may have fallen out of their North Africa market. The...

Trouser press hospitalizes man after forgeting to get out of his before using it 0
Basil_B 3 years
Market for talking cars has “stalled”... 1
Doylem 3 years

The market for anthropomorphic, talking cars appears to have stalled, says Bob Foster, a spokesman for the automotive industry. “Drivers no longer want to get into amusing and entertaining scrapes...

The Social Network's sequel will be titled Wikipedia, the director confirmed 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

this morning. He refused to comment on rumours that he is talking with Andrew Lloyd-Webber about The Social Network - the musical...

Relief for dads as survey finds that mums are bullshitters too 1
Spacey 3 years

A survey carried out by website Netmums has revealed that women are just as good at bullshitting other mums as dads are at bullshitting other dads. It was previously thought that the need to make up...

Marianas Trench more interested in Heat magazine than philosophy 0
simonjmr 3 years

Scientist's confirm that the self proclaimed "Deepest part of the ocean" is quite vacuous, superfluous and intelectually shallow" after an interview revealed that the Marianas Trench was more...

Mail on Sunday’ journalists told undercover cop they were from the ‘Guardian’ 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Armageddon rescheduled... 1
Doylem 3 years

“We got it wrong last time”, admit religious nutters, “but we’ll get it right soon, and then you’ll be sorry. The end of the world will come, we - the Chosen Ones - will be saved, and you -...

Aung San Suu Kyi To Quit Politics 2
Textbook 3 years

Myanmar's pro-democracy leader, Aun San Suu Kyi, who is known around the world for her staunch endurance of years of confinement and opression under the country's restrictive government, has...

Writers advised to mark intellectual property with their postcode. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Firth accepts Golden Globe in an overly polite and very english sort of way. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Copyright issues to be referred to the European Courts of Poetic Justice. 0
Ian Searle 3 years