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After success of Ian Paisley and Rangers, Pope switches prayer effort to Dawkins

The Holy Trinity...

charlies_hat 16.02.12 1:27pm
United Nations under pressure to break Bobby Brown’s knees

The United Nations has bowed to international pressure to convene a special committee on Bobby Brown, since the tragic death of his ex-wife, Whitney Houston at the weekend. Talentless wanker, The...

Peat1973 16.02.12 12:38pm
Ian Paisley moved out of intensive care, "for his own safety".... 0
theadministrator 16.02.12 12:33pm
UK asks Betty Ford clinic to withdraw clown prince Penn from south atlantic

Clown Prince Penn, the former footman of Pop Queen Madonna, is to continue his controversial self promotional tour of the south atlantic. Britain has called the mobilising of the publicity seeking...

ronseal 16.02.12 12:32pm
Al Jazeera launches controversial new women's midday chat show, Loose Burkas

They're funny, they're sassy and they could have dynamite strapped to their chest - they've sashayed out of the bedouin and into the boardroom. Meet the cast of Loose Burkas, the new lunch time chat...

ronseal 16.02.12 11:27am
Tank Think-Tank Rethink Tank Thinking

They’re the bullies in the playground of war. The menacing ne’er-do-well on the corner of Aggression Street. The burly, tattooed queue-jumper in the post office of human conflict. We know them...

Hugh Jarse 16.02.12 11:17am
Hugh Jarse
Time wasting slogan chanting meeting makers could lead UK recovery says time w..

Independent research carried out by DMM (Dovetailed Marketing Messages) suggests that Britain could be sleepwalking into a triple dip recession if it cuts back on investment on meetings. The...

ronseal 16.02.12 11:04am
Cameron jets to Athens to seek vital Greek vote in Eurovision Song Contest

David Cameron could pull of a coup for Britain right from under the German's noses. Capitalising on anti Euro dissent, the PM is jetting to Athens for high level talks - which could secure the key...

ronseal 16.02.12 10:33am
Wayne Rooney's racehorse to be called "Switcharooney" ..

After weeks of speculation, a press conference at the Cheshire stables where Switcharooney will be trained was told, "Yeah, we're like well chuffed innit. Me an' Colleen were like sat up until the...

Gourd Almighty 16.02.12 10:06am
Gourd Almighty
Royal Masturbation Fantasies Up 80% on 2010

A recent poll has shown that of the 2000 men surveyed year on year, there is an uptick of 80% regarding fantasies involving a member of the Royal Family. The poll shows a level of interest not seen...

SimonJJames 16.02.12 9:19am
Argentina tensions escalate as UK deploys Duchess of Cornwall to Falklands 0
cinquecento 16.02.12 8:43am
RAF in moustache shaving protest as derring-do budget slashed 0
cinquecento 16.02.12 8:35am
XXX Olympiad to feature state-of-the-art water sports facilities 0
Golgo13 16.02.12 8:21am
Sacked for being legless at work (re-post)

An Iranian terrorist was dismissed by bosses today for blowing his own legs off in a botched bomb job in Thailand. Cell managers dismissed Ballykissangel born Abdul ORielly as soon as they heard of...

Marko 16.02.12 8:10am
Questions into length of Leverson Inquiry as 'Street Sweeper' gives evidence

As the Leverson inquiry enters it’s 23rd year, it has heard evidence from a street sweeper from Bideford. Ian Brownlow, has been telling the inquiry about his torment caused by an article in the ...

Perks 16.02.12 7:33am
New dating site tackles disappointment by guaranteeing failure 0
Dumbnews 16.02.12 3:17am
Fair Trade Cocaine and Heroin

just an idea, if anyone wants to run with it?...

Ironduke 16.02.12 3:05am
Primary head admits licking lollipop lady

The General Teaching Council’s disciplinary body yesterday heard a head teacher, James Marks, 43, admitting that he licked lollipop lady June Craig, 41 a part time hairdresser. The evidence...

nickb 16.02.12 12:55am
Ryan Air calendar cost more than advertised and didn't reach destination 2
ronseal 15.02.12 10:04pm
Delboy Throws His Three Rolex's Down The Drain....

."Too much of me, init?"...

Jesse Bigg 15.02.12 10:03pm
Majority of C of E Clergy Object to Sex Before Marriage

According to an opinion poll conducted by the 'Pulpit' magazine, a majority of Church of England clergy are totally against premarital sex, due to the hassle of re-arranging the altar plate just...

Jesse Bigg 15.02.12 9:32pm
Suarez to apology to player he bit. Returns toe. 0
Hooch 15.02.12 9:17pm
Man found dead at vicarage ‘latest victim of extreme Cluedo craze’

A man found dead at a vicarage near Bristol may be the latest victim of the extreme Cluedo craze sweeping Britain. The Revered John Green, a former barrister, was found dead late last night next to a...

Gary Stanton 15.02.12 7:17pm
Sex Dreams Involving Royal Family Members Up 80% on 2010 (REWRITE)

A renewed public interest in the Royal Family was confirmed yesterday when a recent poll shows that the sex dreams of 2000 interviewed people were 80% more likely to involve Royalty or Royal themes...

SimonJJames 15.02.12 6:48pm
Iranian assassin castigated by Imam for getting legless in Bangkok. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 15.02.12 5:53pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Cure for depression hailed as patient pulls himself together and gets on with it 4
cinquecento 15.02.12 5:47pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Appalled feminist theorist demands to have female vote removed

after watching ‘loose women.’ More soon...

John Ffitch-Rucker 15.02.12 5:42pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Disillusioned Dog Suddenly Realises The Futility Of Fetch

Clapham Common yesterday: Lucky, a spaniel / terrier cross, during his 7th retrieval of a well used and prized tennis suddenly stopped, sighed, looked at his owner disappointedly, walked to sit under...

SimonJJames 15.02.12 5:40pm
But, on the bright side, Rangers score a hat trick of 'tickers'

No more soon...

dvo4fun 15.02.12 4:29pm
Tonto regrets loan to Rangers 5
JETFAB 15.02.12 3:54pm
Hoops McCann