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Leading scientists mystefied by how to buy pants that fit 0
Dumbnews 13.03.12 4:54pm
Racialist anagram writer just being satirical 7
simonjmr 13.03.12 4:52pm
Cyberdyne Systems to install smart meters in the UK The government has announced that every home in the UK is to be fitted with a smart meter, a device that measures precisely the amount of gas and...

Landfill 13.03.12 4:34pm
Struck off dermatologist stops making rash decisions. 0
JETFAB 13.03.12 3:55pm
Brooks arrested for breaching horse bribe ban 9
charlies_hat 13.03.12 3:38pm
Cameron to fight Sarkozy after The French arm British badgers

A boxing match is to be held between David Cameron and Nicolas Sarkozy in Paris next week, a government spokesman informed us last night. The fight is set to take place under the Arc De Triumph and...

mohanboone 13.03.12 2:44pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Liverpool Supporter not racist, say Liverpool Supporters

And that's good enough for us, say the CPS...

AndyOverhead 13.03.12 2:37pm
Hosepipe ban horror hits Home Counties

Water companies across southern and eastern England are to impose hosepipe bans amid drought conditions said to be as severe as on some parts of the Moon. 'Whole populations of the Home Counties...

roybland 13.03.12 2:06pm
Neighbours astonished after man who kept himself to himself doesn’t kill anyone. 6
Ian Searle 13.03.12 1:59pm
‘happiest moment of my year is about 3 hours before the 1st race at Cheltenham'

Said Charlie Brooks in the Telegraph, didn't envisage he'd be spending it in a police cell More soon...

simonjmr 13.03.12 1:30pm
Olympic sex tourism hit by ho's pipe ban

more soon..hat tip simonjmr...

medici2471 13.03.12 12:54pm
Islington man discovers wine that 'tastes like wine'

When Islington man Ferdinand Baxter visited his local Waitrose he didn't expect to find the wine he'd been searching for for years. 'I casually picked up this bottle of red and started to read the...

roybland 13.03.12 12:52pm
Lonely spaceflights may damage eyesight of male astronauts

In the following thread Ironduke asked if there was a policy of wanking on the international space station, seems there might be with today's news,

simonjmr 13.03.12 12:51pm
Newsflash: Brooks Not Under Arrest, Just Organizing a Horse

Earlier reports that Rebekah Brooks has been arrested have now been corrected after the situation has been clarified. It appears that following the return of her Police Force loan horse, Mrs. Brooks...

Deimos 13.03.12 12:46pm
New Internet Explorer 9 optimized for downloading of other browsers 1
Dumbnews 13.03.12 12:35pm
Institute for the deaf football team announce their biggest signing 0
simonjmr 13.03.12 12:17pm
Residents of Macynlleth furious as the sun doesn’t come out on Sunday

Counsellors and residents groups in Macynlleth have contacted The Advertising Standards Authority this week after the sun broke its promise by not coming out on Sunday. “Not a single ray”, a...

mohanboone 13.03.12 12:11pm
Rating agencies downgrade Virgin to Bucket 0
cinquecento 13.03.12 11:31am
Anachronistic, Self Obsessed and engaging in arcane rituals - report

A new report into the Christian Church has just been published by the Pseudo-Science Research Council which was given unprecedented behind-the-scenes access to much of the Church's daily activities....

ianrbland 13.03.12 11:03am
Thieves target Tate Modern installation

Police are on the lookout for thieves who broke into Tate Modern in the early hours of yesterday morning and made off with a porcelain sunflower seed., The seed is thought to be part of an...

Earl Van Dyke 13.03.12 10:45am
Married couple's '7 year itch' confirmed to be thrush 0
Perks 13.03.12 10:45am
David Cameron seen in La Senza before meeting to cement relations with Obama 0
simonjmr 13.03.12 10:42am
Alex Ferguson finally masters time travel

Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson has finally discovered the secret of time travel following a lifelong quest. Ferguson, famous for constantly looking at and tapping his watch at the end...

ianslat 13.03.12 9:41am
Gvt shrugs its shoulders at claim UK nuclear energy could end up in French hands 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.03.12 9:34am
Duncan Biscuit
Gvt. still trying to get an appointment to meet GPs to progress NHS reforms 0
Duncan Biscuit 13.03.12 9:34am
Duncan Biscuit
Southerners could be reduced to drinking their own urine

Many getting in practice by drinking local beers...

yussle 13.03.12 9:09am
The All New Jeni B
Cameron advised that he is being badly advised.

Four former FoE directors have told David Cameron that he is being badly advised over UK's nuclear power plans., "Of course I am badly advised" retorted Cameron, "You don't think I come up with so...

weematt 13.03.12 8:44am
Complaints pour in after Witness Protection Scheme sells customer data

Chicago police are currently investigating a crop of kidnappings and murders of people in the federal witness protection scheme. The connection between the victims has been traced to the sale of...

Immunis 13.03.12 7:55am
Shock as man trained to shoot foreign people shoots some foreign people

more later...

dvo4fun 13.03.12 7:43am
Fears grow that student walkout may precipitate collapse of UK economy

Wednesday's planned walkout by tens of thousands of students protesting against government reforms to higher education could lead to the collapse of the UK economy, plunging the country into a 1930's...

roybland 13.03.12 7:16am