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Six billion people boycott Twitter

Almost the entire population of the world will not be tweeting today, in a mass protest against something or other. Probably the pointlessness of the very existence of Twitter. It is thought that...

NewBiscuit 05.08.13 10:04am
Radicalisation 'no longer required' with launch of first test tube terrorist

Militant Islamist organisation Al-Qaeda have claimed that the time consuming process of radicalising its new recruits 'is a thing of the past', following the unveiling of the world's first 'test tube...

Jesus H 05.08.13 9:51am
Jesus H
Artificial meat found to contain traces of synthetic horse DNA 2
Ludicity 05.08.13 9:47am
Coastal town poverty cycle follows success of RideLondon weekend 0
NewBiscuit 05.08.13 8:15am
Today's special: Test tube burger flame grilled by Bunsen burner 0
A.A.Arkwright 05.08.13 8:06am
Viewing public bewildered as James Nesbitt fails to appear in new advertisement. 0
tedweasel 05.08.13 7:54am
MPs warned by advertising van with slogan "Are You Claiming Expenses Illegally" 2
ronseal 05.08.13 7:51am
Test-Tube Burgers Baffle GM Food Protesters

"Some people object to food which has been geneticaly modified" said a labortaory worker "So we have responded by developing a genetically-modified, more-or-less edible product which is not actually...

Titus 05.08.13 7:34am
Dr Who accused of briefing against The Master 0
ronseal 05.08.13 7:21am
Threatened Daleks To Be Declared an 'Endangered Species" 0
Titus 05.08.13 7:09am
Stephen Fry could become the first "Dr Whom"

Hat tip to Wrenfoe's mum...

CulchaVulcha 05.08.13 6:27am
Daleks Flee Terrifying Shrieks Of "See Youse, Jimmy!" 0
Titus 04.08.13 10:58pm
Three men demand an end to gender inequality as they launch Meminist Movement

The world has changed dramatically in the time since men first decided it was okay to let women in the office. What was once a fun eccentricity has now become a full blown attack on the male way of...

Hooch 04.08.13 10:52pm
Daleks Block Simon Cowell's Bid To Become Dr Who As 'Cruel And Unnatural' Threat 0
Titus 04.08.13 10:28pm
I'm gonny pull yer swivelly heid aff ya fascist fucking dalek bastard! 0
Drylaw 04.08.13 10:02pm
Kiss my sweaty Tardis, says Capaldi 1
sponge finger 04.08.13 8:55pm
Exterminate or fuck the fuck off 4
Squudge 04.08.13 8:50pm
sponge finger
Peter Capaldi to be new Dr Fucking Who. more soon. 2
Al OPecia 04.08.13 8:49pm
sponge finger
Compromise Script Says "Exterminate You, You Mother-Exterminating Exterminators" 0
Titus 04.08.13 8:14pm
"Same Person Marriage" Campaign Spearheaded By Simon Cowell

"I just want the same rights as a couple" said Mr Cowell. "The present laws requiring a marriage to involve two people is discriminatory. As someone who is deeply in love, I should be able to make...

Titus 04.08.13 8:05pm
Dr Who "to be broadcast after watershed" as Peter Capaldi takes on lead role

Maybe more...

AReader 04.08.13 8:01pm
Simon Cowell admits life-long 'sordid affair' with himself

Shamed X-Factor chief Simon Cowell was left facing difficult questions today, after details of a bizarre and sordid affair with himself were revealed by now ex-lover Lauren Silverman, who claims the...

Jesus H 04.08.13 7:59pm
Fearful Dr Who Complains Of Tweets From Daleks 'Threatening To Exterminate Him'

Boss of Twitter apologises for any distress caused and states that the Twitter accounts of any Daleks who make 'abusive or threatening' posts will be closed. However as a precaution, all the servers...

Titus 04.08.13 7:57pm
Dr Who the *?!$!!! announced as replacement to Matt Smith 0
custard cream 04.08.13 7:25pm
custard cream
Trolls versus ‘celebrities’ war of words – a special report

Most ‘celebrities’ say trolls are pathetic mild-mannered misogynist men with no friends and tiny penises, despite there being no conclusive evidence this is even a small percentage of the case....

farmer giles 04.08.13 7:04pm
Doctor Who selection branded a sham as Daleks denied vote.

Lack of ramps and narrow doors. voting booths too narrow. Could not pick up pencil with sucker attachment. Resulted in most ballot papers burnt by careless attempts to laser a cross in them....

miked10270 04.08.13 6:57pm
Bishop's apology plagiarized

The Bishop of Aberdeen has been plunged in further controversy following his admission that the Catholic Church was guilty of child abuse. Unbeknownst to the gathered press, Hugh Gilbert's statement...

Wrenfoe 04.08.13 6:53pm
Yoko Ono tells Egypt to 'give peace a chance'

Yoko Ono jetted into Cairo yesterday to bring peace to the beleaguered city. On arrival she was whisked to the Four Seasons hotel and immediately climbed into bed in the Royal Suite, where she...

Scarlett productions 04.08.13 6:16pm
Scarlett productions
Welsh insurance rep retires after 50 years as Dai to Dai salesman. 1
Al OPecia 04.08.13 4:59pm
Cameron pledges to legalise revenge. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 04.08.13 1:42pm
Al OPecia