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New series of Lewis planned, ITV accused of flogging a dead Morse 8
Ian Searle 3 years
Gentle breeze brings chaos to huge swathe of southern England. 5
spoole2112 3 years

Remnants of of an occasional blustery spell that wreaked havoc on the Isle of White have begun to affect roads and properties in the home counties. Schools and shops have been advised to close early...

'Whale Meat Again' hits number 1 in Japsnese singles chart 0
martin2381 3 years
Osbourne Forewarns Cyclists and Pedestrians of his "100% focus on economy" 2
thisisall1word 3 years
NHS bans Chain Mail on safety grounds 0
Pagantroll 3 years

Hospital staff in Wales have been told they can no longer wear chain mail while at work due to safety fears., There are concerns the material does not offer sufficient protection against sharp...

Miliband promises free NHS liposuction for Lumpen Proletariat 0
pinxit 3 years
Istanbul voted Top European Destination for Couples. 2
Pagantroll 3 years

The revival of the BBC Holiday programme kicks off with a Bedford couple's holiday in Istanbul. "It was the trip of a lifetime" says the wife, "he's been trying to take me up the Bosphorus for years"...

Govt awareness campaign aimed at parents who 'throw babies out with bath water' 1
Mr Target 3 years

'It used to be common sense,' laments veteran Chessington health worker Sharon Daniels after rescuing another new-born from the mains sewer outside a local family's house, 'but these days parents...

MPs recall Jame Murdoch after faults with model found 0
thisisall1word 3 years

MPs have issued a product recall on the previously popular James Murdoch range., Customers have been advised to stop using any James Murdoch product, or other goods and services which may involve...

UKIP lose Euro places after fielding inelligible players 0
simonjmr 3 years
George Osbourne Will Put "110% into Economy" 0
thisisall1word 3 years
James Murdoch recalls very little 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Gaddafi reeling after more revelations of his contacts with Blair’s government 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sophists says inflation has actually increased by only 2.3% 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Man who dumped lizard in supermarket toilet has no recollection of eating it 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mumsnet calls for Kevlar body armour as cotton wool no longer adequate for child 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

“For years cotton wool has been the benchmark for guarding kids against all the ills of the world and now, this is no longer adequate”, says Doreen Hambleton. “If its good enough for our lads...

Underclass to be relaunched as 'Morlocks' 7
3 years

Michael Gove has outlined his latest attempt to tackle the so-called 'underclass'. From March, people who claim benefits, own more than two pairs of trainers or have the names of their children...

Depp Prepares for next 'Pirates' Role by Joining Band of Somali Pirates 0
TokyoTomato 3 years

In an effort to inject greater realism and depth into his role of Jack Sparrow for the next 'Pirates of the Caribbean' film, Johnny Depp has joined a band of Somali pirates hijacking and ransoming...

Long-distance swimmer Walliams to try comedy in 2012 "I need a new challenge" 4
dvo4fun 3 years
Flash adds to essential home cleaner range with Flash En-Suite & Flash Bannister 6
Stan 3 years

Flash, the household cleaning brand, has added to their popular range such as Flash Kitchen and Flash Bathroom with an assortment of products specifically aimed at areas of the home that don’t...

Glow-in-the-dark kitten 'like a fridge light for wheelie bins' 4
Runestone Cowboy 3 years
Trading Standards report calls above-inflation funeral costs 'a bit stiff' 2
pinxit 3 years
Drunk Swedish elk releases album after leaving The Priory 3
pinxit 3 years
Radio Telescope in US Radio Quiet Zone 'sucking in' Alien Diseases 1
Pagantroll 3 years

Thousands of residents of Green Bank, West Virginia are outraged after it is discovered that the world's largest radio telescope, which is located in the town, is attracting huge quantities of...

Applicants for Met Police Chief job detained overnight for further questioning 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Somali kidnap "Authentic" Thomas Cook excursion 0
grottymonty 3 years

Thomas cook have today defended the authenticity of their new range of back to basics excursions. "People no longer want to visit a tired old relic or swim with a captive dolphin, they want to see...

Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event 3
ronseal 3 years

As people across the world prepare to put their personal spin on big global news event, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time. In 99 per cent of cases, nobody gives a toss...

City worker asked to donate for David Walliams' charity swim. Commuter says no. 3
wallster 3 years
Copyright victory means Cliff needn't crumble. 1
Boutros 3 years

EU Council officials' decision to extend copyright on sound recordings by a further 20 years was strongly influenced by Sir Cliff Richard's solemn promise to "never go near another recording studio,...

Lowest ever salt content Salt & Vinegar crisps rebranded as Vinegar Crisps 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years