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Cameron and Clegg to share paternity leave 0
Sinnick 3 years
New fathers encouraged to take long holiday 0
yussle 3 years

after stress of watching wife give birth...

Monkey Typing Pool Supervisor sacked after failing to produce a single soliloquy 4
Des Custard 3 years

Avram Zephir became the latest Remington League typing pool supervisor to be unceremoniously fired yesterday after a short ceremony in which a kangaroo court made him jump before he was pushed. He...

Avon police to draft in Hercule Poirot in bid to solve murder inquiry. 0
flossie mcjava 3 years

The detectives working on the Jo Yeates murder investigation have decided to call in the famous Belgian detective Hercule Poirot to help them solve the mystery of the murdered architect, in their...

Critics slam "The Social Network" for inconsistencies with Wikipedia 0
Dumbnews 3 years
As Government clamps down on Meow Meow ,a Market in Pussy starts to open up. 0
melody 3 years
After losing his appeal Peter Sutclifffe ,decides to get a trim ,lose a bit of 0
melody 3 years

weight ,splash a bit of Old (lag) Spice on , to help him regain his lady killer status ., Although he has lost the sight in one eye ,and has acquired a lovely face disfiguring, scar (a hit with...

English May Not Be The International Language For Much Longer 0
Textbook 3 years

Linguistics experts predict that, given the way things are going, by 2035 the international community will have given up on speaking to each other entirely...

Police warning on genuine Green Shield stamps 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

They're worth f**k all, unless some idiot on Ebay buys them...

Police warning over 'fake' Tesco stamps 0
Iscariot 3 years

Easy to spot as they do not bear the image of Dame Shirley Porter. HM the Queen has been informed...

Tunisian tourist agency says "Come back, we're dolphin friendly" 0
Iscariot 3 years

Jamie Oliver adds "Grate a bit of onion, add a dollop of mayo, a driz of the old oil from the olives, bit of peppah, give it a good stir, an' whack it on some toasted cheebattah. Kids luv it."...

Jonny Wilkinson to host "Dislocation, Dislocation, Dislocation"... 0
Mr.3374 3 years

More injuries soon, no doubt...

Government to give subsidised alcohol to city dwellers. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'to help them cope and so they can dream about living in the countryside'...

Bercow says Tory whispering campaign ‘just goes straight over my head’ 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tunisia’s opposition opts for a ‘Jasmine’ rather than ‘Alpine Meadow’ revolution 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tunisia coup's lack of joke potential rocks Newsbiscuit. 2
MADJEZ 3 years

Not much more soon...

Tube workers to strike on public holiday when everyone will be home watching TV. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Just think of the disruption!...

Daily Mail blames Tunisian riots on "Tuition Fees Protestors". More soon. 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Hughton & Hodgson To Form "The Laughing Cavaliers Duo" 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Ex-Newcastle United manager, Chris Hughton, and Ex-Liverpool manager, Roy Hodgson, to form a singing duo called the "Laughing Cavaliers" - all due to this weekend's antics of their respective former...

New Zealand confirms new 25 letter alphabet 4
Mrblacker 3 years

In a first for an english-speaking country, the Government of New Zealand is on the verge of adopting an alphabet different from the familiar set of 26 letters. From February, primary schools across...

“Having the builders in” not a sexual euphemism, insists mother of three... 0
Doylem 3 years
Newsbiscuit contributors rendered rendundant 0
arthurminnit 3 years

as katie price says latest husband, alex reid, is responsible for the breakdown in their marriage because HE is "a fame hungry sponge!", this has depleted britains stock of irony for what is...

Ryanair confirm destination airport for London Olympics will be Prestwick. 5
Mrblacker 3 years
Undercover cop spent most of his time under duvets 4
roybland 3 years
Cameron To Cut His Own Hair As An Austerity Measure 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'I don't care if it ends up lopsided south!'...

Labour win against Oldham but remain in the third division. 5
deskpilot3 3 years
Benadictine monastary admits Barry Scott a 'poor choice' to lead silent retreat 0
Skylarking 3 years

MORE SOON!!!!...

"The Archers" to be renamed "The Pargetters". 3
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"As the death shook Ambridge to the core, it seemed the obvious way to mark the show's 60th anniversary", a BBC spokeswoman explained...

Workers win right to work themselves to death. 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

The government today announced that British workers will have the privilege of working in harness until their dying breath. Minister at the Department of Work and Pensions, Iain Duncan Smith, has...

Reebok invents sportsgear that works only for bright people 0
4ty2 3 years

by sending the light emitted by the bodies of their bright customers back into their body. [center][url=http://www.reebok.com/GB/more/zigtech#List]Reebock ZigTech apparel[/url] According to their...