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Fire service 'needs Transformers'

Fire and rescue services would be much better if staffed by ultra-powered, giant robots, according to a review commissioned by the Government. Following seven months of careful research, Sir Ken...

4
monkeyrepublic 19.05.13 7:59am
monkeyrepublic
British doctor invents cardiac microwave; read his heartwarming story

More to follow...

4
apepper 19.05.13 7:48am
Not Amused
Homosexual couples want equal rights to have civil partnerships

cos that's only fair...

2
Alfred Noakes 19.05.13 6:57am
Sinnick
George Michael hurt in M1 crash - Paramedic "failed to ask for autograph". 4
Al OPecia 19.05.13 2:42am
brianflan
Farage appeals for everyone to spell his name right - Farrago.

. (Don't often see that word around these days)...

0
Maverick 18.05.13 10:59pm
Maverick
Beckham denies tears to be bottled for limited edition perfume range. 0
Ref Minor 18.05.13 10:23pm
Ref Minor
African village adopts Angelina Jolie’s breasts

Support for Angelina Jolie after her double mastectomy has reached all corners of the globe with the news that the Angolan village of Malu has agreed to adopt her breasts. Malu village chief Oongal...

9
Yikes 18.05.13 9:27pm
reforse
Angelina Jolie set to make a fortune on eBay. 9
Maverick 18.05.13 7:59pm
Sinnick
Gove to double class sizes and sack thousands of teachers.

"It worked in Victorian Britain and it will work again today", said Michael Gove...

0
deskpilot3 18.05.13 5:22pm
deskpilot3
Orangemen excited as new marching season transfer window opens. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 18.05.13 5:05pm
ronseal
Lord Feldman denies calling Tory party activists 'swivel-eyed loons'

Actual headline in today's Daily Telegraph - the end of satire!...

0
custard cream 18.05.13 4:12pm
custard cream
Eating disorder clinic opens all-you-can-eat restaurant. 2
sredni vashta 18.05.13 3:31pm
sredni vashta
Introspective soldiers court martialed for retreating within themselves. 2
sredni vashta 18.05.13 3:29pm
sredni vashta
Del Boy feels a right plonker over Peckham retirement. 0
irreverendJ 18.05.13 2:23pm
irreverendJ
"We tried to tell you." The Krankies - a special report

While Operation Yewtree continues to expose the dark underbelly of the British entertainment industry, Ian and Janette Tough, aka The Krankies, spoke to James Naughtie on Radio 4's Today programme...

0
Idiot 18.05.13 2:17pm
Idiot
Marty Feldman not happy with 'swivel eyed loon' comments. 0
Not Amused 18.05.13 1:57pm
Not Amused
Taliban spiritual leader Mullah Omar comes out with surprise admission

In a video released by the Taliban via a Dutch website, Mullah Omar, wearing a salmon-pink turban and knee-length, beige robes of Karachi cotton, said ‘I just don’t want to live a lie any more....

0
Crooked Man 18.05.13 12:57pm
Crooked Man
White House staff argue on how to pronounce Thein Sein

More unimportant stories from Yangon shortly...

0
brianflan 18.05.13 10:33am
brianflan
A unitard-clad Gove urges the nation to go for the "burn"

More later...

0
Wrenfoe 18.05.13 10:26am
Wrenfoe
Social Workers to be fast tracked to a nervous breakdown

Josh MacAlister, chief executive of Frontline, was pleased to announce a new scheme which would allow graduate Social Workers to cut out the protracted year on year “helping the vulnerable in a...

6
Wrenfoe 18.05.13 6:50am
nickb
UKIP call for referendum on Eurovision Song Contest 1
custard cream 18.05.13 6:33am
Dick Everyman
Bernard Manning Honoured in Australia

In the wake of damning news stories of 70's and 80's celebrities, a West Australian council has tried to regain some credibility to the era by naming streets after British comedians At a public...

0
brianflan 18.05.13 5:51am
brianflan
No great demand for Tory MPs and they're upsetting vast numbers of people. 0
drs 17.05.13 10:44pm
drs
Farage in 'Braveheart II' deal 0
Dick Everyman 17.05.13 10:10pm
Dick Everyman
Anderson's 300 Test wickets were taken 'a bit sharpish'

English cricket continues to celebrate the remarkable achievement of James Anderson, who has become only the fourth Englishman in history to take 300 Test wickets. Anderson’s tally is all the more...

0
SJM 17.05.13 9:53pm
SJM
New ‘Total Paunch’ magazine a huge hit with men

Retailers across the UK are reporting massive sales following the launch of the latest health magazine for men, Total Paunch. The success has resulted in publishers Northern & Shell committing...

16
Dick Everyman 17.05.13 9:23pm
Dick Everyman
Left Alert: Got a fairly small or unimportant fire? Call 202

New Fire Brigade non-emergency moneysaving service When should I call 202? When you have a fairly small fire that hasn't killed anyone or caused you too much trouble so far. For example:, - If...

4
Skylarking 17.05.13 8:47pm
brianflan
Operation Yewtree - Skippy arrested following allegations from Lassie.

Found working as a bouncer in a Melbourne nightclub...

0
Maverick 17.05.13 8:25pm
Maverick
Seventy five percent of MPs too drunk to answer alcohol abuse survey. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 17.05.13 8:23pm
Al OPecia
GOVERNMENT CRITICISED OVER SUPPORT FOR ‘DAMBUSTERS’ BOMBING CELL

Fred Burgess of The Association of Chief Police Officers today criticised the government over its open support for the activity of the notorious ‘Dambusters’ bombers. Mr Burgess commented ‘At...

0
Alfred Noakes 17.05.13 8:21pm
Alfred Noakes