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Sean Connery freed from house arrest 12
flim-flam 3 years

Scotland’s foremost freedom fighter, Sir Sean Connery, has been released from house arrest in the Bahamas from where he has been campaigning for Scottish Independence for the past few decades. The...

Cabinet members "tried to burn down British economy" in massive Insurance Fraud 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Army chiefs vow to make the world safe for future James Blunts. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Coffee chain makes lousy tea ‘because the British deserve it’ 1
Des Custard 3 years

High street coffee shop chain Costabuck has defended itself against criticism of the tea it sells. While just one unfrothy cappuccino could trigger catastrophic loss of market share, Costabuck...

Harrison to take up oil painting as he spends most of his time on canvas. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Chandlers 'Still Not Got Their Heads Round How Nick Clegg is Deputy PM" 1
De-scribe 3 years
The kidnapped Chandlers are deeply disappointed to learn of their fathers 0
arrghgarry 3 years

death ,and more so when his inheritance was used to pay for their randsome...

Woman comes clean over bleach killing 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Jon Sorry ,David Cameron denys Englands standing in the world is in decline 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and adding "were the greatest fucking country the world ,the greatest fucking country the world , the greatest fucking country the world " and thats about it really ,oh and youre going to get...

Audley Harrison "making hay"... 0
Doylem 3 years

“People may mock. But I got £1m for landing just one punch in three rounds. Let’s break those figures down. That’s £1m per punch. I’m a peaceful man. I don’t want to hurt anyone. If that...

86% of British beaches now "cleanest ever" 6
MC One R 3 years

A euphemistic way of saying you have a 14% chance of swimming in piss at the beach in 2011...

Scientists discover 'fat gene' 0
riesler 3 years 'Who are you calling fat, you nonce!'...

Waterboarding - Government Acts to Dampen Down Protests 0
De-scribe 3 years
Woman Who Died in Stabbing Named Anita Dicken 0
Grover 3 years

Police have confirmed that a woman who died in Carmarthenshire stabbing was actually named Anita Dicken. Ms, a-hem, Dicken, was found in the Maesyfelin area of Pontyberem at about around 1655 GMT...

Happiness poll predicted to find it's no longer the greatest gift that I possess 0
Ian Searle 3 years

It has been over taken by Ferrero Roche...

Social outcry as Coarse Salt and Refined Sugar are stored in the same cupboard. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Clegg blames Liberal tuition fees u-turn on broken shag band 0
jp1885 3 years

Deputy Prime Minister and Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has revealed that the change in his parties stance on raising tuition fees came about after a plastic ‘shag band’ he was wearing was...

Poll finds voters unhappy about being polled on happiness 0
roybland 3 years
TV-build up to Christmas 'Not the Same without Penis Gobbling' says Ofcom survey 3
pinxit 3 years

Get me out of here...

Japanese Emo girl gets online translation and it leads her to 3
arrghgarry 3 years
30% of 50 year olds have no retirement pot, most will have to rely 4
arrghgarry 3 years

on E or opium ...

Suu Kyi risks re-arrest if she attempts to take kettle off again, warns Polly 4
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

New allegations about Suu Kyi have emerged, after an alleged rift with Polly over kettling. While Polly was in favour of putting the kettle on, Suu Kyi is understood to have undermined her efforts,...

National Lottery Live releases balls after receiving £15 million 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Recession-Hit Colleges to Introduce “Dangerous Thing” Courses 0
De-scribe 3 years

a little more soon...

Audley harrison waiting for the advertising deals to roll in 0
arrghgarry 3 years

after teaming up with Fred Goodwin he sees nothing but blue skys ahead...

James Blunt Averted World War 3 - by Not Singing in Broken Down Train 0
De-scribe 3 years
Contest was just too one-sided complains Haye after Chelsea match 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
We are all in this together 0
MC One R 3 years

"that's why we are SLASHING bonuses to only £4bill." Stiff British upper lips chaps!...

Boris Johnson denies everything he says is 'a euphemism for sex' 3
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Suu Kyi the winner in Burmese "Big Brother" 0
Sinnick 3 years