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Spontaneous outbreak of apathy in the streets as England win the Ashes. 0
MADJEZ 3 years

Embarassingly the Queen will now have to give all the players an OBE, MBE and a Knighthood since no other British sportsman won anything this year leaving a surplus of sporting honours...

“Get hole-istic advice from your ATM”, says minister... 0
Doylem 3 years

Cabinet Office Minister Ms Francis Maude has outlined the extra services that will soon be available from ATMs. “For years the humble ‘hole in the wall’ machine has dispensed cash, and maybe a...

Homeless man regrets dropping out of Harvard 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Originally I just wanted to buy a justin bieber doll for David 0
4ty2 3 years

but then I thought I could do better then that getting him the real deal. It also does not need batteries and still makes funny noises...

Man addicted to nicotine patches ‘dreading new year’ 0
roybland 3 years

A Bolton man who is addicted to nicotine patches says he is dreading the new year when a week’s free trial of the parches – part of the NHS Smoking Quit Kt – will be available at many chemists...

US seeks extradition of man responsible for Northern Ireland leaks 2
roybland 3 years
"Let them drink Guinness", say the Northern Ireland Water Companies. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Film Baddie Recruitment Agency admits business flagging 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

“No-one wants the en masse recruitment of guys dressed in black, loyal to criminals, thugs or evil world domination types these days” admits Jo Clark, recruiter in chief “with the lack of big...

60 million Brits say they had a nice but quiet Christmas 0
roybland 3 years
Badminton sees a surge of interest in Australia. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Swindon boy 'still playing with the box it came in' 3
Bravenewmalden 3 years

Keiron Sharpley, a three-year old from Swindon, Wilts, was today reported as still playing in the box that his main Christmas present came in. Mother Georgia Sharpley, 34, said he was wide-eyed with...

Wikileaks changes tactics in Northern Ireland 0
Sinnick 3 years

[variation on Duncan's idea]...

‘Unanswerable case’ for death of Matthew Kelly 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tens of millions face yet another day without mains water 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Nobody phones Northern Ireland paper to claim responsibility for leaks fiasco 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Visit to Nan 'needs clear exit strategy, measurable objectives' says wife 15
Golgo13 3 years

Speaking on the eve of a Christmas trip to meet in-laws at her husband's Nan's house in Dorset, Sally Westacott said the effort was being undermined by vague social aims and confusion about the...

Archeologists uncover evidence that Neanderthal children did not like sprouts 1
JaimieX 3 years

A new study of Neanderthal remains has revealed that just like modern day children, sprouts were not a favourite with the younger generation. Researchers in Germany that found evidence of overcooked...

Police marksman thought gunman was from Independent Police Complaints Commission 1
roybland 3 years
The Roaming mentaly ill are to get free "I am fucking dangerous and will stab 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

about 200 people this year badges"...

It's 'Goodbye Normal Jeans' as John dresses son in crotchless denim nappy. 1
Trickster 3 years
Nice football agent Pini Zahavi hails the transfer of baby $$$ to Mr and Mr E. 2
Malcum eggs 3 years

my clients are very private people that requested no publicity ...

Lady Prescott offers up big fathead baby for adoption ,diaorrhea at both ends 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Back-to-school flu epidemic fear could nicely extend school hols 0
roybland 3 years
Library homeless to be classified under Dewey Decimal System 0
roybland 3 years
BBC announces new Spring Schedule Drama – “Black Man at Oxford” 0
Milo Shame 3 years

Hot on the heels of the success of the revitalised Upstairs, Downstairs and the ITV ratings hit, Downton Abbey, BBC Drama has announced that it is pinning its future hopes on a new historical...

Happily married, mentally healthy, father of three shot dead by police... 3
victory V 3 years

'just to be fair', says Chief Constable...

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thackaray 3 years
Sale of surplus stock from Dave to BBC averts Xmas TV repeats shortage 0
thackaray 3 years
Elton John changes "own" nappy before changing baby Son's 0
thackaray 3 years
Window opens for gym membership... 0
Doylem 3 years

Briefly, for just a couple of weeks in January, people of all shapes, sizes and body mass index get the urge to join a gym. Christmas over-indulgence has left them feeling corpulent and broke, so New...