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Russian Mars Probe "Could Be Anywhere". 1
mattupchuck 4 years

It has emerged that the Phobos-Grunt spacecraft launched by Russians may or may not have landed on Mars recently. The European Space Agency has said that it is unlikely to be able to salvage much...

James Murdoch admits "We only employ liars, apart from me, obviously" 5
apepper 4 years

James Murdoch has revealed that dishonesty was a job requirement for News International employees. "That's why everyone's evidence contradicts mine.", explained Murdoch...

Cat swinging man moved to larger council flat after submitting video 2
apepper 4 years

More to follow...

Blair delight as he brokers peace deal between Confucius and Simple Simon. 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

The father of Brit-Pop could hardly contain himself today, as his role in the ongoing dispute between Confucius and Simple Simon was made public. Leaked police files from North Yorkshire Police...

Pensioners cheer as they finally return to 'the good old days'; cold and poor. 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Age Concern yet to confirm victory...

X-Factor rapped over discarded johnny. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Berlusconi to resign definitely soon perhaps maybe...unless he changes his mind. 0
MADJEZ 4 years
Veterans seek assurances Easter Bunny will wear a poppy next year 2
4 years
Olive Oyl fury as veterans continue to muscle in on her annual Popeye appeal 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Negotiations continue...

Christmas Lights deny being turned on by Justin Bieber. 1
Zadok the second 4 years
Chaos in Chelsea dressing room after sponsor Mobius provides new strips. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
MOD cuts latest: Soldiers only to be paid "when actually fighting". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years

Guns to be fitted with stop-watches...

Commonwealth Games to retire to Gold Coast, Queensland in 2018 0
Nick McCarr 4 years
Starr and Boardman at war over best 'Comedy German' outfit. 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

The balloon well and truly went up today, as Stan Boardman dropped the bombshell that he plans to attend the forgotten comics Christmas Party in his 'hilarious' German outfit. The bubbled-permed...

Italian govt. commemorate armistice day by being dictated to by the Germans 2
charlies_hat 4 years
Egypt closes pyramid, what's the point ? 0
medici2471 4 years
World Athletics Championship 2017, Met jubilant 0
medici2471 4 years
Geordie kids to re-enact Jarrow Crusade 8
Gerontius 4 years

A group of youngsters from the north east of England are to re-enact part of the great Jarrow Crusade of the 1930’s by attempting to cross the Tyne Bridge from Newcastle to Gateshead entirely on...

Silence and tears across the UK as Lampard/Barry midfield is announced 3
JD 4 years
mugabe to replace cocozza on x-factor 0
4ty2 4 years

because of his better voice and looks and the huge number of followers to regain the ratings...

Debt-hit Italian offers cut-price genuine metal knife: "Itsa real steal" 0
kga6 4 years
Man disappointed to learn that he has Dyslexia, and not Dailysex 6
Smart Alex 4 years
Rescheduled meeting attendees clueless as to meeting's purpose. 1
Curbie Firetank 4 years

Six employees of the Norwich based agricultural consultancy firm 'Dew, Yew, Goa-troshin' were at a loss during an agenda-less 10am meeting this morning according to spokesperson Dean Sixfingas. "We...

Mike Tindall to be given cat, crate of beer "to see if he can resist temptation" 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Cat swinging man 'to be flung around by the cock' 5
jp1885 4 years
Tensions grow between Confucious and Simple Simon, over who said what. 3
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Both sides refuse to comment...

News International to sponsor chair in Select Committee room. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 4 years
Tesco rethink ‘You shop, we drop’ slogan after record number of breakages 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

Supermarket giant Tesco have been forced to replace the ‘You shop, we drop’ slogan for their home delivery service after admitting that many staff had taken it too literally. The last 12 months...

Burlesconi told to clear desk, shampoo carpet 0
apepper 4 years

Outgoing Italian PM Silvio Burlesconi has been told to completely clear his desk, shampoo the carpet and steam clean the curtains. "I don't know what he's been up to in his office", said an official,...

New abstinence campaign to show images of Dominique Strauss-Kahn's 'sex face' 0
JD 4 years