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Footballers condemn 'Shameful' behaviour of Olympic athletes

Footballers from across the country have spoken out in disgust at the behaviour of Olympic athletes during the 2012 London Games. [i]"Now that the games are over, I feel that I can finally break my...

WatcherMark 13.08.12 9:37pm
Cameron censured by 1922 committee for 'Wiggo' sideboards

The prime minister was today criticised by the influential, backbencher 1922 committee, for wearing fake Bradley Wiggins sideboards at last night's Olympic closing ceremony. Cameron was paying...

Alfred Noakes 13.08.12 9:10pm
Alfred Noakes

Flame throwers all the rage at Brazil games, 2016...

Jesse Bigg 13.08.12 7:55pm
Jesse Bigg
Olympic flame goes out; mother flame tells it to be back by midnight

More to follow...

apepper 13.08.12 6:08pm
Human dressage to become Olympic event

Human dressage is set to become a new Olympic event from Rio 2016. Typical dressage involves a posh person sitting very still on a horse as the thoroughly trained thoroughbred performs a series of...

kga6 13.08.12 5:38pm
Todmorden Greco-Roman Wrestling Club braced for influx of inspired youth

Brian Gloss-Paint, the president of the TGRWC has explained that their doors are open and are looking forward to increasing their membership as result of the olympic coverage. As the third largest...

grottymonty 13.08.12 5:13pm
Post Box Miracle Cures Surrey Vicar's Internet Identity Crisis

The Reverend Brian Elshaw of Carshalton's All Angel's Parish Church is convinced that God has personally intervened to guide his hand, after delivering him from a fruitless attempt to secure an...

Nowherefast 13.08.12 5:07pm
Primary school corridors to be fitted with hurdles, says Gove. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 4:10pm
British rocket scientist produces creamy lettuce

More to follow...

apepper 13.08.12 3:46pm
Cameron's school sport plans could produce Nietzschean Übermenschen experts warn

David Cameron's plans for two hours of competitive sport a day in primary schools could produce a race of Nietzschean Supermen,' child psychologists warn. 'Within a generation,' said educational...

roybland 13.08.12 3:24pm
Fears that London's post Olympic friendliness is fading fast

Fears are growing in the wake of the Olympics that the capital's much-praised feel good factor and friendliness, said to have been in evidence everywhere in the city during the past fortnight, is...

Duff 13.08.12 3:05pm
'Six inches does the job,' says poll 1
Hooch 13.08.12 2:52pm
Two solid weeks of TV watching credited for Team GB Gold medal haul

"I earned everyone of those medals, through blood, sweat, beer and scratchings" said 45 year old Dave Berrywood. "Without my Olympian endeavour I'm sure we would only have won half of those medals,...

simonjmr 13.08.12 1:58pm
Australia finally to be tried for war crimes

Early this morning the United Nations finally charged Australia for war crimes, crimes against humanity and serious grouchiness because of lack of Olympic golds, and Team GB successes. The UN motion...

simonjmr 13.08.12 1:53pm
Fans disappointed by lack of chair shots in Olympic Wrestling Final

The Olympic wrestling gold medal matches was competed in the spirit of sportsmanship, involved no cheating and the better man won, much to the annoyance of wrestling fans around the globe....

Hooch 13.08.12 1:42pm
Vatican hails drop in choirboy STD rates as vindication of new condom policy 0
pere floza 13.08.12 1:02pm
pere floza
8000 illegal immigrants deported from Heathrow today, claims UK Border Agency. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 12:51pm
Sales of KFC Spicy Bingo Wings soar following Olympics closing ceremony

wallster 13.08.12 12:38pm
First positive drug test sees 2 year ban given to George Michael

If only they were performance enhancing...

Perks 13.08.12 11:54am
Olympic Motto committee say 'My Generation' an inspired choice to close games

. (even if performed by 60-somethings)...

Midfield Diamond 13.08.12 11:52am
Midfield Diamond
2012 Legacy say missiles now defused: will remain as 'roof garden furniture' 0
pinxit 13.08.12 10:41am
Olympics so successful some people start taking Boris Johnson seriously 0
Oxbridge 13.08.12 10:15am
Boris Johnson entombed and buried under Olympic Park as part of Games Legacy 0
Iamthestig 13.08.12 9:36am
Calls for official inquiry as Scotland hosts Highland Games again. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 8:49am
Brits go back to talking about the weather. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 13.08.12 8:47am
Tîm Cymru's time will come

After a fortnight of Team GB this and Team GB that, Huw Edwards will tonight breath a sigh of relief and yearn for the day when the era of Tîm Cymru will be ushered in...

Miss Hegas 13.08.12 8:46am
Outrage as French athletes discover gold medals actually chocolate coins 0
quango 13.08.12 8:41am
Athletes wonder if there are any other ceremonies open tonight

As Russell Brand rode into the stadium, athletes could no longer hide the fact the mood had died and started shouting over the music to suggest they go somewhere else. Other athletes shouted that the...

Golgo13 13.08.12 8:41am
Relief for satirists as Team GB footballers cock it up

As the curtain closed on an outstandingly successful London Olympics, Britain's spoof news writers, starved of ready targets by a brilliant home performance, have expressed relief that at least the...

Oxbridge 13.08.12 8:21am
Carshalton man claims new record for collecting Sunday papers

Inspired by the feats of the world’s elite athletes, a Carshalton man has shaved a full minute off his PB for collecting the Sunday papers. Michael Owen Sanders, who acquired his name by deed...

Des Custard 13.08.12 6:17am
Psycadelic Squirrel