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Marathon runner uses public transport to go from first to last 2
Perks 3 years

A man in his 30's, has gone from first to last in the London Marathon, after trying to use public transport to shorten the course. Bob Loans from Cornwall had a comfortable 3minute lead as he...

Fish rescued after Marillion dries up 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Clergy outraged as all references to ‘Christmas’ removed from explicit sex film 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

Senior members of the clergy have denounced the decision to remove all references to Christmas from top-selling pornographic DVD ‘Horny XXXmas’ as an example of political correctness gone mad, it...

Special offer: BlackBerry with free world map of telephone boxes. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Daily Mail rebranded Fox News 0
Scroat 3 years
Man making bedroom-adjacent washroom to "get around to it in his en-suite time" 0
Adam Ice Rink 3 years
MBA marketing student "Unwittingly acted a bit C2" 9
antharrison 3 years

Denise Turner a 23 year old MBA student, studying on the first year of her course, has admitted that far from acting as a regular ABC1 citizen she may have unwittingly displayed behaviour which could...

Now Dale Farm is an 'art project', claim travellers. 2
Boutros 3 years

In a last desperate bid attempt to evade eviction, Dale Farm travellers have petitioned Basildon Council for the former scrapyard to be reclassified as installation art, taking their cue from Tracy...

The Rise and Fall of the Ottawan Empire 0
seymour totti 3 years

In 1923, the Ottoman Empire, which has lasted for over 600 years, finally fell. However, many are unaware of the attempts of 1970's French disco duo "Ottawan" to re-establish this cruel regime....

Complete meltdown in Japan, but officials say there is no risk to health 0
RJWinter 3 years
'Best Man' group rallies to support Werritty 0
roybland 3 years

Thousands of best men throughout the UK are backing Adam Werritty, the 'adviser' to beleagued defence secretary Liam Fox. Mr Werritty was the best man at Mr Fox's wedding before he infiltrated the...

Fracture clinic to have Snap Inspection 0
Perks 3 years
Man Utd and Chelsea set to go head to head for 'the next next next Pele' 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

14 year old Sao Paulo academy player Junior dos Santos Riviero Lima da Estrada Flagrinho, better known by his nickname Bob, is said to be the subject of interest from both Manchester United and...

Mind-blowing sex warning: Over-exertion between the sheets can wipe your memory 0
witless 3 years

I have forgotten the punch line...

Tom Jones finally admits 'sometimes it is unusual' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

Fuel-starved families driven to beg under coal-ition 8
Clarky 3 years

‘Got any loose coal, mister?’ – that’s the cry echoing round our city centre streets, as the coalition government’s tough green energy measures begin to take their toll on consumers. With...

River Thames runs dry for two miles near London, Mayor to blame claims Panorama 0
witless 3 years

Panorama has described the running dry of a section of the river Thames near Woolwich as "a rather serious situation. There is water in the river two miles upstream so it's just flowing down and...

DNA database gaping hole to be filled by Lollipop Ladies 1
witless 3 years

A shocking 11,266,000 motorists, OAP’s and one legged jay hoppers are missing from the national DNA database, it emerged last night. The convicts, all of whom are at liberty, may have been able to...

Silence of the New Zealand Lambs heralds product placement for older films 24
vertical 3 years

Digital compositing now allows sponsored products to be inserted into Hollywood classics. Major studios say commercial titles will soon include The Sound of Sony Music, Birds Eye's Big Chill,...

Adverterror campaign brings mugging to your armchair 0
Newsquelch 3 years

It started fairly innocuously with a barely sane looking John Lydon suggesting he “prefers Country Life to sniffing safety pins” but in these more volatile economic times, it’s become ever more...

Zoo workers training NHS nurses 2
roybland 3 years

Zoo workers are helping to train NHS nurses in the UK, the health secretary Andrew Lansley has announced.,  , Mr Lansley said that some zoo workers could fairly be described as 'angels', so...

Apple admit to accidentally haunting millions of iPhones in latest update 0
gaijintendo 3 years

The iOS update to version 5 was tainted with the spirits of former FOXXCON employees who were suicided for leaking trade secrets. Hmm. I feel like a socialist with a fold-able table and a loud...

OCD lottery winners hand back £1m of £101m 'to make it tidy' 4
Clarky 3 years
New Blockberry helps you look stylish while not taking any calls 0
ronseal 3 years

. There's a joke in there somewhere....

Blackberry outage leaves millions feeling unimportant 3
Dumbnews 3 years
RyanAir to offer no frills colostomy surgery to frequent flyers 4
witless 3 years

Keen to upstage Virgin Rails plan to encourage rush hour travellers to cuddle, shy and retiring boss Michael O'Leary has suggested taking out all but one of the toilets on his planes, to increase...

IKEA recalls catalogue after failing to point-out Swedish children not included 3
antharrison 3 years

Furniture giant IKEA today recalled its 2012 catalogue after many potential middle-class purchasers were disappointed to discover that the five and six year old child extras used to give depth to the...

News just in via Blackberry - Queen Victoria’s coach crashes in Blackwall Tunnel 2
witless 3 years

being pursued by paparazzi...

Steve Jobs to upgrade Moses' tablets. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Campaign for Better English calls for Water Regulator to be renamed "FromWat" 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years