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Retired Gurkha settlement area in UK "surprisingly crime-free". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Shock as wealthy professional sportsman weds 'ordinary looking' woman 0
dvo4fun 3 years

More later...

'I thought she said 'Set Fire to Lorraine', explains Adele fan arrested at GMTV 0
Oxbridge 3 years
John Barrowman quietens down following successful ear-wax op 8
Dick Everyman 3 years

Scottish-American singer, actor, dancer, musical theatre performer and media personality John Barrowman is recovering from an operation to remove 2 kilograms of earwax. The breakthrough operation...

Inspector Gadget arrested outside childs play area for showing kids his gadgets 0
thackaray 3 years

In the midst of a heatwave gripping the USA, Inspector Gadget was seen outside a children's play area in LA wearing a long trench coat and showing a group of female teens his gadgets. One concerned...

Highly Decorated Soldier, Adventurer And Ork-Slayer... Falls Victim To DVT 0
charlieworth 3 years

News of the World 0
Awkward Facts 3 years

News has arrived by carrier pigeon from Pongolia of a monster called the Moloch who has been devouring people on the streets of the capital. This has been happening for some years, but since the...

Bournemouth Symphony Orchestra announces withdrawal of 'mosh pit'. 0
writinginbsl 3 years
BBC and Sky share broadcasting rights to F1 style Fun Fair rides 0
thackaray 3 years

Libyan rebels ask Cameron to talks after "dry run" assassination success 0
thackaray 3 years
'Jihadis to learn lessons of Norway' 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Western jihadi groups admit they have been put to shame over the Norway 'operation'. 'We have thousands of members in the west but all they do is credit card fraud, smoke bong play computer games...

Caveman who stole 1.5 sticks says "I couldnt destroy the evidence". More Soon. 0
jut1972 3 years

Caveman who stole 1.5 sticks says "I couldnt destroy the evidence". More Soon...

Summer fashion news. M & S supports the right to bare arms. No more soon 1
dvo4fun 3 years

No more soon...

Back up Your brain but not now! 1
bonjonelson 3 years
Rail Company announces new night time suicide train to reduce daytime delays 0
Des and Stan 3 years

Plagued by disruptive delays caused by frequent suicides, Southern Railway has announced plans to run an after-hours night train service dedicated to the needs of those who wish to take their own...

Vatican recalls Papal Nonce from Ireland... 1
dvo4fun 3 years

"What a See!" More soon. Really...

Brixton to host first Chaka Khanival 2
dicky37 3 years

A street party to celebrate the work of the American funk diva is planned for the autumn, following on from the success of the Otis Redding & Leeds Festivals, and Randy Crawfields...

'Recognising Lybian Islamist militia not an error', Say Foreign Office. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'In the big scheme of things like Iraq and Afghanistan recognising a lybian Islamist militia as the official govt is small beer. We are optimistic because basically we have no other choice but to be...

Cameron Attacks Multiculturalism: Wight is not an Island 0
steve_l 3 years

Cameron Attacks Multiculturalism: Wight is not an Island In a stunning u-turn on previous policies, David Cameron stood up to say that Britain was a single nation, with no room for ghettoes, and...

Salmon migrate 'because they are thick' 10
Oxbridge 3 years

For years, it was one of the great mysteries of the natural world. Why do salmon of all kinds travel over such great distances and brave so many dangers to spawn in the exact place of their birth?...

Obama Threatens Boehner With "Righteous Pimp-Slapping" 0
Textbook 3 years
Old rockers 'sitting pretty' as they pile on hemorrhoid cream bandwagon 3
3 years

At a one-off gig in Oxford Street's Boots pharmacy, perennial rockers Aerosmith announced the release of an eponymous first hemorrhoid cream. The product, tag-lined 'Sittin' on the Edge', is the...

Stephen Merchant says at 6ft7" he is too tall for love and he is no Kobe Bryant 0
guffaw 3 years
Rebekah and Fergie release new version of “Toxic” 5
nickb 3 years

The UK’s two most famous disgraced redheads are to release a duet version of the Britney Spears classic: “The words could have been written for us”, said Rebekah Brooks in an interview with...

'And then I had to spoil it all by saying something stupid like splogalogapod' 8
nickb 3 years

Bill and Ben record Sinatras tribute...

Playstation game "Call of Duty 2" releases senior edition 1
Dumbnews 3 years
London Weymouth Airport braced itself for new flight routes 0
beau-jolly 3 years

Just a five short hours away, Weymouth is set to become London’s 6th airport., Having persuaded the International Olympics Committee that there was quick and easy access from the East of London to...

'Well, I never’ news: “Taxman bullies the innocent”... 0
be reasonable 3 years

also: jumping from tall buildings and high bridges not always good for health...

Devil suspends trading in American Souls. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Voice of speaking clock sadly passes away after third stroke. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years