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Farah celebrates long running slacks success. 0
button 16.08.12 3:30pm
button
Government urges Camelot to produce thinner lottery winners

Statistics produced by Camelot show that fat couples in council houses are more likely to win the lottery, leading to speculation that the National Lottery is weighted towards the overweight. "It's...

0
nickb 16.08.12 3:20pm
nickb
Parents mixed feelings as 'A' Level shag fest offers go unconditional 0
medici2471 16.08.12 2:28pm
medici2471
Ecuador grants Assange asylum

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/01467/sas_1467122c.jpg...

0
medici2471 16.08.12 2:10pm
medici2471
Dave Plonkerman Does It Again!

This time he helps a Mr Blancmange to a life-long stay in a South American embassy in London. Dave Plonkerman, this is your strife!...

0
Jesse Bigg 16.08.12 2:09pm
Jesse Bigg
Mystery of NASA dead cat unsolved

The death of Tiddles, NASA's much loved pet cat still remains unsolved. She was found partially squashed at the Space Lab at Cape Canaveral in November 2011 close to a testing site. A post mortem...

0
nickb 16.08.12 12:37pm
nickb
Andy Murray reverts to being Scottish after A-level results.

Was this the joke?...

1
bonjonelson 16.08.12 12:14pm
button
Usain ‘disappointed’ as golden Wenlock sells for £3.27 on e-Bay 0
Midfield Diamond 16.08.12 12:06pm
Midfield Diamond
GB Space agency confident a converted Rover 400 can be put on Mars within years

"If not a Rover 400 then at least a silver 1995 Montego" said Derek Hawkwind of the GB Space Agency More soon...

0
simonjmr 16.08.12 11:48am
simonjmr
2012's students fail to jump as high

‎2012 shows a 0.4% decline in the height jumped by celebrating A-Level students when posing for newspaper photographers. Most students jumped 26.6% of their body height, down from 27% last year....

0
Mother 16.08.12 11:08am
Mother
Hotel chain admits " We don't care for the environment"

Leading hotel chain Premier Lodge Inns has admitted that its little cards in the bathroom urging guests to re-use towels have eff all to do with environmental concerns and everything to do with...

1
weeb52 16.08.12 10:45am
medici2471
Disillusioned Branson returns to his roots.

The Virgin empire's bearded boss is to chuck in the towel following his disappointment over losing the West Coast Main Line bid. Now penniless, he plans to spend the remainder of his days selling cut...

0
Boutros 16.08.12 9:38am
Boutros
it's the vinyl revival! Selling LPs by mail-order nets billions for entrepreneur

In the backlash against all things digital, the 12" record has made a surprising renaissance. Companies set to cash in are those who are geared up to sell LPs by mail order. Ageing entrepreneur...

0
Boutros 16.08.12 9:37am
Boutros
FOOTBALL CRAZY!

In an unprecendented show of loyalty to his team Manchester City, Premier League winning football boss Roberto Mancini has started a trend by announcing on the club’s website he is changing his...

1
Reg Herring 16.08.12 9:04am
Mr Target
Paralympic row as "quadrapedic" athlete is horse

A row has broken out over the banning of distance runner Mo Stang from the Paralympic games. Officials have been concerned about Mr Stang for some time, a spokesman explained: "We had heard rumours...

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apepper 16.08.12 8:34am
apepper
Leeds speedophile caught Peeking

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-leeds-19260859...

4
charlies_hat 16.08.12 8:14am
godly1966
Genuine Olympics to begin in Paris next week

Twenty nine gold medals, a practically flawless games, and Australia finishing in ignominy and recrimination in tenth place. It was almost too good to be true - Unfortunately it was. A series of...

4
nyarlathotep 16.08.12 8:11am
button
Olympics “getting easier” say critics

Team GB’s best ever performance at the London 2012 Olympics, including an impressive 29 gold medals has led critics to question the value of the medal haul, as they believe the games are getting...

0
pippip 16.08.12 8:10am
pippip
Britain looks forward to next great summer event

Following the popularity of the Queen's Diamond Jubilee and the Olympics with the population of Britain, people are excitedly anticipating another great event that will bring the country together as...

0
digidave 16.08.12 7:51am
digidave
Assange condemns threat of forced entry 0
medici2471 16.08.12 6:48am
medici2471
LEG SHORTAGE HITS PARALYMPIC COUPLE

Relatives of Dame Vera Lynn, George and Daisy Wycliffe (the Wycliffes of Dover) will not now represent Team GB in the Paralympic Three Legged Mixed Doubles. George had his left leg amputated below...

0
davecook194 16.08.12 6:34am
davecook194
Julian Assange "leaks" pants when told UK will arrest him in Ecuadorian embassy 0
thesilverflute 16.08.12 6:03am
thesilverflute
Scouts lose paralympic flame relay to FirstGroup 0
FlashArry 15.08.12 10:52pm
FlashArry
Obama weighs heavily on whether to solve world problems or hit snooze button 0
Dumbnews 15.08.12 10:36pm
Dumbnews
Man who values his own opinion spends 45 mins giving his 'two pence worth' 0
Perks 15.08.12 9:42pm
Perks
Sid Waddell checks out on 20, 20, double sixteen 9
charlies_hat 15.08.12 9:14pm
custard cream
Paralympic Flame to be Carried by Courageous Able-Bodied People

An army of brave people who have never experienced disability are standing by waiting to play their part in carrying the Paralympic flame to London. "I was told last week I would never live to see...

4
Denis Dijon 15.08.12 9:10pm
custard cream
Replacement bus service until 2026 for West Coast Mainline

Passenger groups reacted angrily last night as it emerged that financial projections for First Group's west coast mainline takeover will mean replacement bus services operating the entire line until...

1
BAJDixon 15.08.12 7:50pm
newsfelch
Man using Web to locate shell fish accused of viewing online prawnography 5
Perks 15.08.12 7:38pm
godly1966
Red Arrows confirm flypast for Sid Waddell funeral 0
custard cream 15.08.12 7:34pm
custard cream