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Sacked Charity Shop Worker “Didn’t Fuss About Enough” 13
De-scribe 3 years

Charity shop worker Gladys Evans, 72, was sacked for gross misconduct when visiting bosses observed her “not being fussy enough”, a disciplinary hearing was told today. Steve Drummond, regional...

Facebook buys rights to MS Office's paperclip helper. 0
martin2381 3 years
Protestant sect wiped out by Alexander Technique 0
Des Custard 3 years

A once-flourishing protestant sect in Skelmersdale has disbanded after more than 200 years. A church that survived the industrial revolution, world wars and flu epidemics lost its entire...

Processed breasts recalled in America. 1
Griffin 3 years
Publicists confirm Carol Vorderman suffering from Benjamin Button Syndrome 2
Milo Shame 3 years

Publicists for the ex-Countdown star have confirmed in a press release the sad news that Carol Vorderman is suffering from Benjamin Button Syndrome. Recent pictures in leading style magazines like...

Police Sarcasm Detection Unit struggling to cope with mass terror tweets 5
Moggsy 3 years

The Metropolitan Police's crack team of highly trained experts in tongue in cheek humour and satire are overstretched due to the high level of potential terror threats posted on social networking...

Harry Hill to launch hard-hitting "News Burp" 1
Andrew 3 years
Manchester police are looking into complaints that "Fraudley Harrsion " 0
arrghgarry 3 years

was running an avoidance scam...

Nintendo release baffling game package containing only a football 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Audley harrison to face biggest fight of his life against the 1
arrghgarry 3 years

Boxing Board of Control and he is shitting himself...

TSA entice passengers for pat-downs with no cover charge and tipping policy 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Newly freed Aung San Suu Kyi busy setting up her profile on match.com 0
Dumbnews 3 years
James Blunt decided to 'inflict misery through my music' rather than start WWIII 1
Moggsy 3 years

He saved the world you know?...

Antonio Banderas to star as Gordon Browns in his last months in power 0
arrghgarry 3 years

"Mask of Borrow"...

Working title of McCann book to be "How we Would Have Done it if we Had" 17
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Xbox updates Kinect to "Real Response Mode" with the Xbox 'Kin 'Ell 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Ad:Fed up with just the screen reacting while you're doing all the moves? The sway, the jabs, the shots, the saves? You need the new fully interactive Xbox 'Kin 'Ell. You fight, it fights back! Only...

Ebay: Gloves. New and Unboxed. Size Oaf 10
IABP 3 years
Suu Kyi tells British press she’s really not ready to start dating 2
Fin Robertson 3 years

Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi has told the British press that she hasn’t any plans to start dating, and to stop asking her. Suu Kyi, a widow, says that she intends to focus instead...

Kate & Gerry McCann in surprise jungle appearance. 2
flossie mcjava 3 years
Man re-organises life for convenience of council recycling scheme 4
antharrison 3 years

Brian Jones, a 75 year-old retired miner from Nottinghamshire, has decided to change his life to meet the newly introduced requirements imposed by the Council for recycling domestic refuse. "At...

Cromwell 'may yet' be to blame for bailout, say Irish historians. 2
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Sean Connery freed from house arrest 12
flim-flam 3 years

Scotland’s foremost freedom fighter, Sir Sean Connery, has been released from house arrest in the Bahamas from where he has been campaigning for Scottish Independence for the past few decades. The...

Cabinet members "tried to burn down British economy" in massive Insurance Fraud 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Army chiefs vow to make the world safe for future James Blunts. 1
the coarse whisperer 3 years
Coffee chain makes lousy tea ‘because the British deserve it’ 1
Des Custard 3 years

High street coffee shop chain Costabuck has defended itself against criticism of the tea it sells. While just one unfrothy cappuccino could trigger catastrophic loss of market share, Costabuck...

Harrison to take up oil painting as he spends most of his time on canvas. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Chandlers 'Still Not Got Their Heads Round How Nick Clegg is Deputy PM" 1
De-scribe 3 years
The kidnapped Chandlers are deeply disappointed to learn of their fathers 0
arrghgarry 3 years

death ,and more so when his inheritance was used to pay for their randsome...

Woman comes clean over bleach killing 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Jon Sorry ,David Cameron denys Englands standing in the world is in decline 0
arrghgarry 3 years

and adding "were the greatest fucking country the world ,the greatest fucking country the world , the greatest fucking country the world " and thats about it really ,oh and youre going to get...