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Lancashire toilet paper warehouse fire wipes business park off the map 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:06am
Duncan Biscuit
National Statistics confirms Eric Pickles’ waist grew 0.6% in the last quarter 0
Duncan Biscuit 22.12.11 10:05am
Duncan Biscuit
Celebrities endorse the Photoshop diet

The latest diet craze to be endorsed by hundreds of celebrities is the photoshop diet in which hi-tech software is used to make images of the celebrity look like they are up to 100 pounds lighter...

Immunis 22.12.11 9:37am
Britons happier than French or Germans

as they’re neither French or German...

John Ffitch-Rucker 23.12.11 9:44am
AIG buy BMI to improve Scrabble hand

It's been revealed that the main purpose behind AIG's purchase of ailing airline BMI is to improve AIG's Scrabble hand; "At last, we have some more consonants and with good scores as well."...

apepper 22.12.11 9:10am
Downton’s Michelle Dockery set to top Telegraph WLTF rankings

With only a few days left to go, Michelle Dockery, who plays Lady Mary in TV’s hit period drama Downton Abbey, looks set to top the Telegraph WLTF rankings for 2011, edging out last year’s winner...

Des Custard 23.12.11 12:21am
Liverpool players show support for Suarez by wearing white T-shirts

Did they think that through at all? 'He might be a racist, but he's our racist. And the rest of us are shit, so we need him.'...

Vertically Challenged Giant 22.12.11 1:08am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Suarez hits out at Griffen as Terry is welcomed into the BNP with open arms 0
irregular apple 22.12.11 1:03am
irregular apple
Clegg targets 'lifeless' Earth like planets as Lib Dem safe seats 0
irregular apple 22.12.11 12:51am
irregular apple
Legendary London Bluesman Hounslow Sloane dies of overdose

Blues fans and fellow musicians around the world are tonight paying their respects to former blues legend Hounslow Sloane who died last night. Best known for his 'fare-dodging' style of electrified...

Username 23.12.11 8:06pm
I miss Kim greatly but must move on - Korean leader's widow speaks 1
Drylaw 22.05.12 1:44pm
North Korea's sense of humour 'preserved'

The Young North Korean ‘minister for the preservation of the ‘Dear Leader’s’ body’ has been left red-faced today following a misunderstanding of Kim Jong-Il’s final requests. The mistake...

Perks 21.12.11 8:16pm
New Earth like planets are "roasted remains" - named "Croydon" and "Tripoli 1
Al OPecia 22.12.11 8:08am
Kraft launch a white chocolate version of its famous Chocolate Orange for Xmas. 2
reforse 22.12.11 3:26pm
"Bucking the property market trend" TV property market shows are on-the-up.

Bit of a re-work after consideration The state of the UK economy has dictated a re-think of Channel 4's flagship property programme 'Relocation, Relocation', which becomes 'Repossession,...

dvo4fun 22.12.11 12:36am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lord Archer offers Piers Morgan unqualified support "no doubting his integrity"

More (tosh) later...

dvo4fun 21.12.11 5:41pm
.....And on Saturday Radio 4 brings you "Christmas From North Korea" 0
Drylaw 21.12.11 5:20pm
CNN: "Employing Piers Morgan counts as breast implant"

CNN are claiming compensation for the employment of Piers Morgan. "If this was France, he'd be removed, no question."...

apepper 21.12.11 5:17pm
Terry response to racism charge "You ****ing **ack *unt! I know where you live!"

more later...

dvo4fun 21.12.11 5:11pm
John Terry leaps to the defence of "that scouse diego bastard" 0
grottymonty 21.12.11 5:05pm
Earth's "twin planet" discovered to be cosmic dustbin

The rocky planet the same size as the Earth, which was today discovered orbiting a star like our sun, has proved on closer investigation to be a vast dumping ground for planetary rubbish. High...

Son of Barnabas 21.12.11 4:01pm
Son of Barnabas
You must take people 'on a Journey', top motivational speaker tells bus drivers

Staff at South Croydon garage have foregone their bonuses and Xmas money. Instead, it was spent on a motivational speaker who could help them reach their potential, seize the day and follow their...

ronseal 22.12.11 12:35am
Queen Christmas Address to repeatedly remind nation of what she did during WW2 1
thisisall1word 21.12.11 3:15pm
Piers Morgan involved in latest foot & mouth outbreak. 0
DiY 21.12.11 2:49pm
Suarez denies looking forward to a white Christmas. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.12.11 2:06pm
Al Qaeda Christmas message criticizes West for lack of decent targets. More soon 0
dominic_mcg 21.12.11 1:53pm
Eastender to spend quiet Christmas with family

BBC bosses are bracing themselves for a barrage of complaints this festive season, after it was revealed that a character in popular soap Eastenders was to enjoy a quiet Christmas devoid of the...

jp1885 29.12.11 2:38pm
Kim Jong-Un successor already named as Kim Jong-Zero 0
butagirl 21.12.11 12:29pm
Toys R US announces appointment of new Glowball Marketing Manager 0
ronseal 21.12.11 11:51am
Suarez says ban is "typical of the English". More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.12.11 11:39am