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Muamba sits up, waves imaginary red card 0
Drylaw 19.03.12 8:28pm
Drylaw
Road to Hell to be privatised.

As price of 'good intentions' paving stones rises...

0
Ian Searle 19.03.12 7:39pm
Ian Searle
President calling for less tolerant society horrified by less tolerant society 0
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 7:39pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Olympic torch relay to visit Buncefield oil storage terminal ...

no more soon...

1
Kramaring 19.03.12 7:23pm
dvo4fun
Three billie goats gruff first to bid for Troll Road contract

more later...

2
dvo4fun 19.03.12 7:03pm
dvo4fun
Argentinian Universities minister's visit to IOW fuels friction

Argentina has further fuelled controversy and has been accused of "illegally increasing it's military presence on the Isle of Wight". La Isla Blanca (as it is know by the Argentinians), has been for...

3
simonjmr 19.03.12 6:41pm
dvo4fun
Osborne plans two headed coins. Intended to reduce financial uncertainty.

Chancellor George Osborne in his budget will announce a plan for the introduction of two headed coins. "These are times of great financial uncertainty " said Chancellor Osborne "Some critics have...

0
weematt 19.03.12 5:53pm
weematt
Anger in American cocaine community as poor, defenceless cocaine stuffed up arse

The American cocaine community has expressed it's anger today over the harrowing story of a poor, defenceless key of cocaine that was forced into a person's rectum and sent on a 15 hour trip from...

0
AllThisYoghurt 19.03.12 5:09pm
AllThisYoghurt
iPad 3 to feature 'I've got an iPad 3' t-shirt and mug

Details are emerging for Apple's much-anticipated iPad 3, which promises to fundamentally change the way people think about their iPad 2. With record pre-orders from people who don't care what it...

10
19.03.12 5:02pm
SpankyMonkey
Hague in Scottish Falkland Islands gaff

Foreign Secretary William Hague was humiliated in front of a class of 10 year-olds today when he failed to find the Falkland Islands on a map of the world. Teacher Mrs Fiona Bedlam explained....

2
medici2471 19.03.12 4:14pm
Not Amused
Ed Balls revealed as Frankie Howerd's secret love child 0
nostra da mouse 19.03.12 4:08pm
nostra da mouse
Scotland to vote on independence from 6 Nations. 4
Griffin 19.03.12 3:36pm
simonjmr
Cardiologist arrested

more later...

3
dvo4fun 19.03.12 3:33pm
weematt
Rangers latest: Bidders withdraw, turn their attention to Kilmarnock

(In case no-one noticed, Killie beat Celtic to win a cup on Sunday)...

0
weematt 19.03.12 3:29pm
weematt
Osbourne to quaff Krug during "budget for the working man"

George Osbourne is widely expected to use his prerogative as Chancellor to enjoy a bottle of 1996 Krug [i]Clos du Mesnil[/i] Champagne as he delivers the annual budget speech on Wednesday. With many...

0
grumblechops 19.03.12 3:21pm
grumblechops
Millets' rescue plan 'will be intense'

more later err is that my coat over there?...

8
dvo4fun 19.03.12 3:14pm
dvo4fun
Downing Street to become a toll road

The Government has unveiled plans to increase private investment in Britain’s road network, starting with the introduction of a toll for MPs, visiting foreign leaders and other political road-users...

2
Long Distance Clara 19.03.12 3:12pm
Sinnick
Iron Lady’s “Pay Cut Joy” is no laughing matter

Margaret Thatcher’s euphoria over leaked Budget plans, to freeze or reduce public sector pay, has affected her bipolar disorder, according to Sir Mark Thatcher. “Whilst bipolar disorder does...

0
dvo4fun 19.03.12 2:42pm
dvo4fun
New law requires 50% of all Newsbiscuit posts to be written by women 8
quango 19.03.12 2:31pm
kimllfixit
Möbius stripper to give her side of the story

Notorious Möbius stripper is planning to give her side of the story in a forthcoming autobiography. Critics suspect, it might be very similar to the previously heard first side of the story...

0
apepper 19.03.12 2:30pm
apepper
Road network investment to be taken from M1,M2,M3 and M4

one for the economics students...

0
charlies_hat 19.03.12 2:26pm
charlies_hat
Daily Mail regret 'Asylum seeker uses valuable NHS resources' sports headline. 1
MADJEZ 19.03.12 2:24pm
kimllfixit
Truants win legal right to attend school then not show up 0
Mathna 19.03.12 1:39pm
Mathna
Massive hippopotamus and teeny little bird hail 'essential relationship'

A massive hippopotamus and a teeny tiny little bird have hailed their ‘unique and essential relationship’, during a three-day visit to the hippopotamus’s backside by the bird this week. In a...

13
The Paper Ostrich 19.03.12 1:22pm
Drylaw
Fans pray for recovery of critically ill footballer who isn't John Terry 1
Oxbridge 19.03.12 1:16pm
Drylaw
Children's hairdresser arrested for "grooming"

Has this been done before?...

1
JohnA 19.03.12 12:53pm
beau-jolly
withdrawn. 2
Mandy Lifeboat 19.03.12 11:06am
Midnight Dreary
Harry Redknapp favourite for Archbishop of Canterbury post. More soon. 0
GreenCross 19.03.12 9:02am
GreenCross
BBC scrapped Ford too soon

Responding to criticism that an old Ford was scrapped prematurely BBC Governors have told BBC Management to use old Fords a bit longer where possible. BBC's spokesman said "We did try to use the old...

0
weematt 19.03.12 8:59am
weematt
Millet's shoplifting suspect arrested, found loitering with intent.

inspired(?) by dvo4fun, expect some camp humour now...

0
weematt 19.03.12 8:13am
weematt