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Check out the new jobs at ASDA... 1
Doylem 3 years

Supermarket giant, ASDA, is creating 7,500 new jobs around the country. ASDA’s CEO is bullish about the future. “There will be jobs to suit everyone”, he enthused. “We have a few...

Elderly Man Injected with Spawn of Satan 1
Grover 3 years

An elderly Glasgwegian man has been injected with the spawn of Satan at Southern General Hospital. The patient, who has not been named but probably now calls himself Damien or Beelzebub or something,...

Irish Government cheered by the fact they wont have to pay for a big wedding. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Paris reacts to news of Royal Wedding by planning indefinite tunnel closures. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Lord Coe asks Royal Couple to postpone their wedding for 12 months 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[More Soon]...

Kate announces she has no intention of ‘getting rid of it’ 1
Gary Stanton 3 years

Prince William has finally agreed to marry long-suffering girlfriend Kate Middleton after pub rumours confirmed that she definitely has a bun in the oven. Drinkers at the Three Stags in Wirral have...

"My boring story" : how one man helped rescue the Chilean miners. 1
simonjmr 3 years
Paris Hilton's 2 day prison stint earns honourary degree from University of Life 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Paris Hilton has become the latest celebrity to be awarded an honourary degree. After a short spell in prison she's been granted the honour by a publicity hungry press officer from the University Of...

Daily Mail Classified Ads Thread 18
De-scribe 3 years

(as suggested elsewhere by Sinnick, possibly ) I’ll start Land for Sale: Superb plot on moral high ground available. Incredible views to the right. For Sale: Blinkers. £15.00. Free to all Daily...

Palace Shocker: Earl of Wessex will fight to keep People's Princess title. 0
rikkor 3 years
Royal Wedding Sick Bags Already on Sale 1
Dun Dunkin 3 years

Monogrammed of course...

Dangerous Restaurant Tourism craze kills seven british tourists in Afghanistan 0
flim-flam 3 years

Seven British holiday makers have been killed and eleven seriously injured after the coach they were travelling on was hit by a rocket-propelled grenade in Afghanistan. They were on the way to...

Royal couple have 'no plans' to honeymoon in Paris. 2
Stan Laurel 3 years
Tawdry souvenir industry welcomes Royal announcement 0
MC One R 3 years

"Just the shot in the arm that the manufacturing industry needs. Of course it's all actually in Vietnam and China but that's just being churlish about a happy occasion."...

Royal Wedding signals Cameron's success in regressing to 1980 1
Moggsy 3 years

thread from an idea posted on Twitter...

This year’s ‘must have’ gift: a ‘cat in a wheelie-bin’ novelty key-fob... 0
Doylem 3 years
Royal Wedding welcomed by all as golden opportunity for thinly-veiled misogyny 2
DrTurmoil 3 years
Boycott threatened as new iOW Tunes 78rpm format not backward compatible 0
andhrimnir 3 years

with waxed cylinder...

After fire at a multi storey prison in Shang Hai Premier Wen 0
arrghgarry 3 years

declares number of dead in Chinese stir fried rise...

Al Fayed claims Kate Middleton is his daughter 1
Sinnick 3 years
Commemorative royal divorce mugs tipped as must-have accessory for 2013 2
jp1885 3 years
Ex-Guantanamo inmate rushes from shower to attend compensation hearing 0
jp1885 3 years, More soon...

Singer Neville Chamberlain 'prevented World War II' 10
bonjonelson 3 years

Singer Neville Chamberlain has told the BBC how he refused an order to attack German troops when he was a British soldier in the British Expeditionary Force. Chamberlain said he was willing to risk a...

Hot news: Beatles on iTunes, Mafeking Relieved... 0
Doylem 3 years
UK Recession responsible for Nan doing the sandwiches for Williams wedding 0
simonjmr 3 years
Royals order cull of strawberry blond males in advance of 2011 Royal Wedding. 0
simonjmr 3 years

Also Hewitts, Parkers and Bowles under threat. More soon...

Palace justifies white wedding on grounds "she hasn't popped her chocolate 0
the coarse whisperer 3 years

cherry yet". Poor taste? I hope so...

NIB - Ireland challenges Portugal to a Eurozone stare-out 1
MC One R 3 years

Following Portugal's request for Ireland to act "for the good of the Eurozone", Ireland has challenged Portugal to a financial stare-out. First to blink has to ask the EU for a bail-out, and will be...

HP celebrates the launch of their 5 thousandth different kind of ink cartridge. 3
deskpilot3 3 years

Bitter experience or what?...

“Royal wedding will boost tourism”, says travel agents... 0
Doylem 3 years

A spokesman for Thomson Holidays is bullish about the tourism benefits that another royal wedding will bring. “It could be just the shot in the arm the travel industry needs. In the wake of the...