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Police to crack down on obstructive crims who try to stop people speeding 6
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The Met Police are to widen their search for criminals guilty of obstruction, after the massive success of their latest man hunt, which netted an evil middle englander who was caught red handed...

Government to re-release last year's flu vaccines. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

But announces that it does not expect any more flu deaths in 2009 or 2010...

Royal Wedding to feature 3D holographic Diana 12
Ludicity 3 years

The Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton will include a 3D computer generated Lady Di who will appear at Westminster Abbey to give her blessing to the happy couple. The full details...

Global spam email levels mysteriously fall. Bumblebees implicated. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[More soon]...

Eastonationdale Street Plot Line Complaints 0
Jeff Dray 3 years

As of this afternoon the broadcasting complaints authority has received over 7,000 complaints about the disturbing New Year plot line in which a killer zombie decimates the village playgroup in a...

iPhone app for pensioners - Locates nearest Incontinence Pad resellers. 1
DiY 3 years

more soon?...

Payoff for chief of Northern Ireland Water just a “drop in the ocean”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Newest smartphones feature 10% less painful web browsing experience 0
Dumbnews 3 years
BP blowout: an expensive way to find out that oil and water don’t mix... 0
Doylem 3 years
Jesus admits he can never be the man his dad was. 13
Malcum eggs 3 years
We didn't mean to take the S out of Scunthorpe, says United Chaiman 0
surdoux 3 years

It was an oversight at the printers, but we have sent everyone a sticker...

Crewe man resolves to cut gullibility quotient... 0
Doylem 3 years

“We’re gobsmacked”, said Sarah Franklin, Senior Researcher at the Institute of Unsubstantiated Hunches. “Most resolutions are broken even before the box of Christmas dates have been finished....

Police condemn frivolous 999 calls [take 2, no mention of socks] 0
bonjonelson 3 years

A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police has claimed that unnecessary 999 calls are hampering real efforts to provide life-or-death emergency cover in the capital. "Too many people are being, to be...

No golden shower for NI Water boss - Minister says. 3
DiY 3 years
Lesons will be learned, 1
Tammy Flugh 3 years

said BP and NI Water in a joint press statement. The oil and water leaks were unacceptable, and steps are being taken to ensure they never happen again...

Tech companies to launch more fucking annoying things you'll have to get used to 1
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Microsoft, Google and all those other bastards have announced they intend to keep launching a raft of FATYHTGUT products (fucking annoying things you'll have to get used to) whether you're ready for...

Primark to launch "Tramp stamps" loyalty scheme 0
simonjmr 3 years
Bristol Police adopt 'Cinderella' tactic to find killer 0
Trickster 3 years

"If we can only find who owns the missing sock," said Officer Dibble, "we'll have our Prince Harming."...

112th congress forms and The GOP party gets a Boner . 2
Malcum eggs 3 years
Tory orgy ends in Pickles 1
simonjmr 3 years
After public brawl ,Jade widower says he was stoned . 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Millions are using credit cards to pay the mortgage. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Thousands are taking out a second mortgage to clear credit card debts incurred by using the card to pay the mortgage., Hundreds are using a credit card to meet the repayments of the second mortgage...

New Years Resolutions Diets lead to chronic shortage of slimming biscuits 1
Ian Searle 3 years

People are being force to eat less normal food instead. I was going to say Ryvita but that might count as product placement, and it's difficult to find a unoccupied tread mill at the gym!...

Police slam sock 999 calls as "frivolous" 7
A Crooked MP 3 years

Police spokesman criticised the sudden rash of 999 calls asking for helping locating their missing socks. "We have better things to do than try to pair up all your lone socks in the sock drawer,...

Four Housemartins of the Apocalypse say “Chin up, things could be worse”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Four horses of the Apocalypse say the end is neigh 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Arse-kicking to be demonstration sport at 2012 Olympics... 0
Doylem 3 years
Giant Area of Rubbish the Size of Wales 1
De-scribe 3 years

spotted to the west of England...

Twelfth Night: celebrating the end of Christmas... 0
Doylem 3 years

“It’s time we restored Twelfth Night to its rightful place as one of the most important dates in the calendar”, said Bob Cartwright of the ‘Keep Twelfth Night Special’ campaign group....

Nintendo chases the pensioner pound... 0
Doylem 3 years

Luke Astle, a games developer at Nintendo, is targetting a new game at senior citizens. “We’ve found that older people don‘t necessarily want shoot-‘em-up games, especially the ones who saw...