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Milliband asks Syria for help in overthrowing unelected coalition government. 0
dominic_mcg 4 years
Old Mother Hubbard to be prosecuted by RSPCA. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 4 years
Motivated immigrant put in charge of border control after new deportation threat 0
kga6 4 years

Following Government plans to start forcibly deporting immigrants once a target level has been reached, it is believed that a team of immigrants are the perfect subgroup to regulate further...

Protestation as Pole becomes permanent 'Pusey Pleb' 6
Perks 4 years

A typically sleepy village in Oxfordshire was awoken this week by the revelation that the local village idiot was in fact from Poland. Wojtek Labrowska took up the position in Pusey, following the...

Sin sues Cos over patent infringement 5
Immunis 4 years

More to follow...

James Gilmour, step-son of legendary David Gilmour, released from prison. 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Young, rich, soft skinned James, 21, admitted that he spent most of his time in jail with his back against The Wall...

Redknapp admits that enforced rest was more taxing than he thought it would be. 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Full details due Jan/Feb 2012...

'Eastenders' Billy Mitchell confirmed as carrying Olympic Torch 0
Bryan with a Y 4 years

Cash4Gold franchises await details of the exact route...

Mars proud sponsor of world diabetes day 3
button 4 years
Man left in awe after converting 4095 into binary 10
kga6 4 years

more unremarkable yet awe-inspiring mathematical facts soon...

'Cruel Is Cool' says 70's comedy veteran 1
Gerontius 4 years

Speaking at the premier of his latest observational sit-com to be aired on BBC2 later this week, comedy veteran Dicky Jarvis told us why he thinks the timing is just right for a new cutting edge...

Somerset man finds dead bird in Tesco salad 0
simonjmr 4 years

"It totally put me off my Chicken Korma it was accompanying I'd made with Loyd Grossman korma sauce" said Steve Pilkington Steve Pilkington from Somerset, said his girlfriend was sick after the...

Environmentalists hail Audi's new SUV with fuel-saving magnetic front bumpers 14
Runestone Cowboy 4 years

Campaigners for a reduction in CO2 emissions have warmly welcomed an eco-minded development from Audi. Their latest model, a 3.2 tonne, 6 metre-long SUV badged 'Q8', features an optional magnetic...

Simon Cowell concedes that the prefix "Fi" omitted from X factor titles 0
simonjmr 4 years
Faberge bacon found 4
nickb 4 years

It was a find that confused, then delighted Russian historians and students of decorative arts. A wavy strip of white gold, five centimetres long, artfully encrusted with garnets and rubies, with a...

Iron Maiden stolen by scrap metal theives 3
bonjonelson 4 years

Möre soon...

Critics slam Grossman cover of Lennon's 'Instant Korma's Gonna Get You' 0
Skylarking 4 years
Suspicion falls on record viewing figure for The Only Way is Dover 0
vertical 4 years

overheard: pliz, vich way to a slum...

"Freddie Starr ate my Korma" says Lloyd Grossman. 0
pinxit 4 years
Camel toe makes Freddie Starr vomit. "That's a first" say ex-wives. 0
pinxit 4 years
Flybe incident prompts Ryanair to charge supplement for full set of wheels 0
medici2471 4 years
Darth Vader hoping to add Nobel Peace prize to his recently awarded Oscar 0
simonjmr 4 years
Aussie medics baffled by cause of Freddie Starr's illness 1
medici2471 4 years
Steven Segal to take over running of London Police 0
Shandy 4 years

Responibilities for running an increasingly lawless capital are to be given to the smoothest man in Hollywood, it was annouced last night. His buttery smooth voice, A-List slicked hair, and martial...

Ground-to-air missiles on standby for London Olympics, but Trident misses out... 0
ianslat 4 years

in ticket ballot...

Proposed "right to sack Chief Constables" supported by John Terry 0
dvo4fun 4 years
Missing star Neil Morrissey “is considerable danger to society” 0
Newsquelch 4 years

The 55 year old Men Behaving Badly star, who has been on the run since Saturday, has been linked to the banned underground Real Ale organisation CAMRA. ...

Government to run out of ministers by November 2012 0
apepper 4 years

According to the office of national statistics, the government is using up ministers faster than they can be replaced and will run out before the end of 2012. "The rate of resignations is...

Concern that up to a third of prospective students too stupid to understand fees 8
Vertically Challenged Giant 4 years

November 14th was Student Finance Day, organised to help prospective university students understand the new fees system. Events took place up and down the country, after shocking survey results...

New Italian leader's penis promises restraint. 0
nickb 4 years

In a specially arranged press conference, the penis of newly appointed prime minister Mario Monti vowed not to emulate the excesses of its predecessor. It also refused to comment on any of the...