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Chelsea Flower Show latest: Di Matteo's 'Bunch of Pansies' takes top honour

Hot on the heels of their Champions League success, the lads from Chelsea FC have once again opened their gardens to members of the public for their annual display of horticultural excellence. The...

1
grumblechops 25.05.12 6:44am
Yikes
Transport unions slam use of "baggage handler" as slang for exotic wanking. 0
Lemon difficult 24.05.12 7:20pm
Lemon difficult
This space intentionally blank. 9
Al OPecia 24.05.12 7:07pm
quango
Mladic vows he will sing at Eurovision despite protests

Controversial crooner Ratko Mladic vowed he will represent Serbia at the Eurovision Song Contest with his powerful version of Killing me Softly. He told a packed press conference that he knows...

0
nickb 24.05.12 6:04pm
nickb
Adam Smith 'economical with the truth' 1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 4:14pm
charlies_hat
Dating agency discovers God on its books

Lonely hearts agency DoggerBank.com is celebrating having signed up a major deity. Initially registered as Cowell666, His identity was revealed when staff investigated a number of complaints. ...

0
cinquecento 24.05.12 3:37pm
cinquecento
At Last – an Inguiry into Inquiries

The government has announced the creation of a blue ribbon panel to investigate the sad state of Public Inquires. The government spokesman, Sir John Humpty, has indicated that the panel's brief will...

0
jack 24.05.12 2:50pm
jack
Tommy Cooper named as the new Fez of L'Oreal 0
Nails UK 24.05.12 2:39pm
Nails UK
Irony not lost as "How hard do you work?" feature tops BBC Most Read 0
grumblechops 24.05.12 2:27pm
grumblechops
Bi-sexuals keeps armpits fresh by Trimmingham

More to follow...

1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:26pm
Sinnick
Tesco winning back shoppers with 'Really S**t" range

Global supermarket giant Tesco, are said to be winning the battle to regain market share, following the successful launch of their 'Really Shit' range., Head of Sales and Marketing, Fritha Two...

0
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:21pm
Underconstruction
Greek recession could go on to have "more dips than a meze" 1
Underconstruction 24.05.12 2:18pm
Qoxiivi
Recession 'even better than thought', enthuses Robert Peston 2
24.05.12 2:03pm
Underconstruction
Priority parking becomes most expensive paralympic ticket 0
Underconstruction 24.05.12 1:52pm
Underconstruction
Greek tax system moves over to "Pay As You Urn" 0
seymour totti 24.05.12 1:36pm
seymour totti
MP's say calls for MI6 spy case to be reopened too late to be any help to victim 0
Scronnyglonkle 24.05.12 12:42pm
Scronnyglonkle
Carina Trimmingham loses fight with press, not to asscociated with Chris Huhne 0
Scronnyglonkle 24.05.12 12:40pm
Scronnyglonkle
16th century explorers warned over faulty Mappa Mundi

Queen Elizabeth I has issued a warning to her explorers to take care when attempting to discover territories in the New World using the Mappa Mundi. The advice follows a number of incidents over the...

2
ianslat 24.05.12 11:55am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Prince Philip praises cripples and foreigners carrying Olympic Torch

More, later...

3
virtuallywill 24.05.12 11:53am
Vertically Challenged Giant
***NEWSFLASH****

Inventor of remote control not dead, just down back of sofa...

9
The All New Jeni B 24.05.12 10:50am
ianslat
Olympic organisers regret asking cabbie’s advice as 70 day torch route planned

Organisers of the Olympic torch relay have admitted that it ‘may have been a mistake’ to ask advice from a taxi driver when plotting a route from Land’s End to the Olympic stadium in Stratford,...

2
Vertically Challenged Giant 24.05.12 10:50am
seymour totti
NHS Monetary Policy Committee decide to keep pizza base rate at £17 2
charlies_hat 24.05.12 10:31am
weematt
Joey Barton to enjoy 12 months of weddings and Friday nights on the lash

Without Football getting in the way More soon...

0
simonjmr 24.05.12 10:23am
simonjmr
Abu Hamza told to get a grip 0
cinquecento 24.05.12 10:12am
cinquecento
During the Olympics bus, train and taxi drivers recommended to work from home 1
simonjmr 24.05.12 9:50am
RickH
Cromwell descendant is wizard; attends Hogwarts and all

More to follow...

0
apepper 24.05.12 9:46am
apepper
Clogg head Clegg to send kids to "All-Warts"

UK Deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clogg sorry Clegg, who is a self confessed atheist, and notorious contentious objector, of 'faith' schools, has hypocritically announced today, that he is following in...

6
Kazytc 24.05.12 8:10am
Screenie
New stop and search powers needed to help stamp out crime in Scotland Yard

Citizens could be given new powers of arrest as part of drastic measures to clean up the notorious London crime spot Scotland Yard. Just half a mile from the House of Parliament and within tasering...

0
ronseal 24.05.12 7:55am
ronseal
Greece claims financial problems are solved as they invest heavily in Facebook. 0
Ian Searle 24.05.12 7:15am
Ian Searle
Boredom will be biggest challenge on Fogle's Atlantic swim says Ocean

The man is sooo dull...

0
Ian Searle 24.05.12 7:12am
Ian Searle