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Money markets panic as value of limited edition Orange Kit Kat plunges 3
Skylarking 3 years

A fresh wave of unease fell on the markets today with news that the limited edition orange Kit Kat has fallen in value by almost 25% over the course of just one day‘s trading. 'It’s been a big...

Mubarak bends to calls for democracy by Appointing New Government 0
virtuallywill 3 years

Jordan next...

Cliff Richard's music guilty of religious intolerance 0
simonjmr 3 years

"well it makes me intolerant whenever I hear Saviours day" said a judge More soon...

Sky Sports announce that Roger Mellie is to take over from Andy Gray. 3
DiY 3 years
Denial is not just a river in Egypt: live on midnight TV, Mubarak promises .... 2
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years
Obama orders extraordinary rendition of Mubarak to... er, Egypt 1
pinxit 3 years

Chickens come home to roast...

Heavenland security puts Penguins on no fly list . 0
melody 3 years
Anarchy in the UK 4
beau-jolly 3 years

The spontaneous protests spreading across North Africa is feared to have come ashore in England. Groups of aging protesters took to the streets of Eastbourne chanting “What do we want?” “We...

City one-in-a-bed sex romp shock 2
beau-jolly 3 years

Recent research shows many city bankers sinking to new depths of depravity. The study warns that being given ludicrously enormous lumps of cash for no effort at all unsettles the psyche leading to...

men having sex with horse blames sex education for years of emotional problems 0
4ty2 3 years

When discussing the issue of sex outside marriage he understood the supply teacher said that men have sex with the horse. It would have helped if the teacher would have spelt it out on a blackboard...

South Africans celebrate Mandela's release. Again. More déjà vu soon. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
Obama says being president increases cost of Valentine's - ask Bill Clinton! 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Salad cut backs; Just the tip of the iceberg 7
beau-jolly 3 years

erthat's it really...

Royal honeymooners to wear mother´s all-inclusive wristbands 1
antharrison 3 years

Following the decision that Kate Middleton will wear Princess Diana´s engagement ring, plans have been announced to allow the royal honeymooners to wear the same all-inclusive wristbands worn by the...

Middle-East question finally resolved by game of paper, scissors, stoning. 0
Milo Shame 3 years

As the democracy movement in Egypt erupts, fuelled by the efforts of young Tunisians, Middle Eastern Foreign Ministers have meet in Jordan and hope to dampen regional tension by revealing that...

Sticking pins in voodoo dolls rebranded as ‘distance accupuncture’... 0
Doylem 3 years
US woman arrested for mooning the police, thousands sign up for identity parade. 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Investing in beer a bad idea admits local drunk 0
AndyOverhead 3 years

Local park bench regular, Hugh Jangover, admitted yesterday that investing his money, all generous donations from park visitors, was doomed to failure from the off-set., "I bought the beer with the...

Marching band unveils “different drummer”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Two "Throw-Back" Football Groundsmen Give Up Cushy Job In UK..... 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

..Due to sudden appearance of female grass cutter...

Sponge Bob has claimed responsibilityfor placing baby grand piano on Miami beach 2
Ian Searle 3 years
Cheryl Cole's Hair Extensions to Fight For Royalties 3
AndyOverhead 3 years

A top city lawyer, Vincenzo Diablo-Sempre, has announced that Cheryl Cole's hair extensions have instructed him to pursue Ms Cole for royalties following the remarkable rise to fame of the...

Austerity Measures to shorten alphabet 3
AndyOverhead 3 years

In a ground breaking effort to save money, the government plan to introduce measures to remove the letters Z, Q, V, and J from the alphabet., A statement read "We have realised that the simple...

Channel 5 to revive 'Minipops' and 'Black & White Minstrel Show' 4
pinxit 3 years

Banned programmes from over 30 years ago are to be resurrected by Channel 5, media-mogul Richard Desmond revealed today. Launching Channel 5's new season of programmes owner Desmond, flanked by a...

Germany sign Barbie for Women's World Cup - Ken sacked for making sexist comment 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Tic tac man accused of sexist comments by the deaf 2
simonjmr 3 years
“Don’t throw shit in the rivers”, say Greens. “That’s what canals are for”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Pulled. Sorry. 4
pinxit 3 years
BBC to cut adjectives, adverbs from broadcasts 5
wwwiz 3 years

Latest fallout from budget cuts was announced by BBC global news director Peter Horrocks. Calling it "a [] day for the BBC," Horrocks warned that prepositional phrases may be next on the chopping...

Builders and Taxi Drivers are true Timelords, claim researchers 3
simonjmr 3 years

Researchers have today outlined that surveys prove that builders and taxi drivers have time bending, stopping and stretching abilities akin to those portrayed in the hit BBC show Dr. Who. A senior...