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"Go on, let me have a turn!" says Pickles

Eric Pickles, the svelte, popular and much respected Secretary of State for Communities & Local Government, says that the Government will hit the ground running (or at least gently bouncing) in...

4
dvo4fun 29.12.11 11:11pm
dvo4fun
Hotpoint washer's new 'Hydro-thermal' technology. So, hot water then. Who knew?

It's a fucking washing machine! What did we expect? Cold water and stones?...

2
dvo4fun 02.01.12 4:00pm
dvo4fun
Reminiscence Therapy undermined by disagreement on date of "Back in the Day" 2
dvo4fun 29.12.11 4:23pm
dvo4fun
New hope in the battle against bee cocaine.

Top scientists are now close to a breakthrough in their revolutionary study into why something exists that causes people to spend most of Summer sneezing, drinking their own nose-liquid or crying...

0
29.12.11 1:52pm
Government announces 'Gregorian Tax' on those taking part in 2012

Chancellor George Osborne has announced a new ‘Gregorian Tax’, which will apply to anybody who wants to participate in 2012. The tax has been attacked by opposition parties but the government...

3
dogwheels 30.12.11 8:12am
North Korean leader to host "Kim'll Fix-It"

Nuclear Arms race, you've got it!!!...

2
virtuallywill 29.12.11 2:56pm
virtuallywill
North Korean Young Pretender begs people to "Stop Your Sobbing" 1
Drylaw 29.12.11 12:19pm
Massive increase in chat room use as civil servants return from Christmas break

Worth a full story?...

11
kimllfixit 30.12.11 9:16am
PReady
New Year’s Honour’s list puts the OBE in obesity

Eric Pickles, Nicholas Soames and Anne Widecombe are to be awarded with special OBE’s for services to obesity. “These OBE’s for the obese could be seen as being for services to growth,” a...

1
nickb 29.12.11 2:40pm
writinginbsl
Newspaper could be planning feature on New Year's Resolutions 0
ronseal 29.12.11 11:29am
ronseal
Team GB hopeful for 2012 Paralytic Games

UK Spirits has welcomed the announcement of the 2012 Paraylitic Games squad in advance of the gigantic drinking contest which will take place in London in 2012. Fans of the 400 mls are said to be...

9
antharrison 31.12.11 5:51pm
Perks
Kim Jong-un named as 'supreme little leader'

The tiny but perfectly formed and proportioned Kim Jong-un has been unveiled to the masses. Arriving on the celestial cloud of beautiful perfection the diminutive but smartly dressed leader was...

0
DiY 29.12.11 11:26am
DiY
Miss Marple stymied after alleged murderer refuses to admit responsibility

Noted amateur detective Miss Marple, from St Mary Mead, Downshire, was left somewhat embarrassed and confused after a murder suspect confronted with significant evidence of his guilt refused to...

15
bonjonelson 02.01.12 11:22pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Kim Jong-un denies 'improper relationship' with Adam Werritty

As preparations continue for his succession to power, Kim Jong-un has had to move to deny any wrong doing following revelations his good friend Adam Werritty has been passing himself off as his close...

1
Perks 29.12.11 3:04pm
Perks
Alex Salmond denies genetic link with brainless, faceless fish 0
Scroat 29.12.11 8:25am
Scroat
Fashion-conscious men brace themselves for latest retro style 0
DorsetBoy 29.12.11 2:18am
DorsetBoy
Latest Facebook changes offers yet another way to say nothing 0
Dumbnews 29.12.11 2:04am
Dumbnews
Leading German physicist to be prosecuted by the RSPCA

more/no more soon...

0
bonjonelson 29.12.11 1:03am
bonjonelson
Schroedingers cats eyes may and may not be installed at box junctions.

I'm sure I've got less than a half-life remaining...

1
Iscariot 29.12.11 4:28pm
dvo4fun
"no bombing" rule withdrawn from swimming pools after anti terrorist accusation

Brighton council today announced that it was removing the ' no bombing' rule from all swimming pools with immediate effect, after a complaint from Junior school deputy head Alan fairbourne that it...

0
Placey1 29.12.11 12:17am
Placey1
Politicians Hoping for Armageddon in 2012

A poll of leading politicians reveals that their best hope for 2012 is some kind of End of the World event based on an ancient Mayan prophesy. “I’ve looked at all of the options” explained...

8
Quaz 29.12.11 6:30pm
Quaz
Male Robin denies being "round", preferring the soubriquet "cock" 1
Iscariot 29.12.11 7:04am
Schrödinger's cat o' nine tails hurts ...and doesn't 0
Smart Alex 28.12.11 9:36pm
Smart Alex
Unseasonably warm weather blamed for man’s outbreak of face-apples

A man with a full crop of face apples has blamed ‘an unseasonably warm December’. 35 year-old Derek Grantham has never fruited before, and biologists believe it is yet more evidence that changes...

22
04.01.12 1:29pm
Major Clanger
Tragedy strikes filming of North Korean version of 'The Cube'.

Philip Schofield unavailable for comment. http://dwqovw6qi0vie.cloudfront.net/article-imgs/en/2011/12/27/AJ201112270036/AJ201112270037M.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 28.12.11 8:03pm
MADJEZ
North Korean Top Gear shows off new range of roof-racks for limos.

http://resources1.news.com.au/images/2011/12/28/1226232/021777-north-korea-kim-jong-il-the-funeral.jpg...

0
MADJEZ 28.12.11 7:59pm
MADJEZ
Kim Jong il funeral hot tip for Best Choreography Oscar

More to follow...

0
apepper 28.12.11 7:05pm
apepper
New signpost at the Church of the Nativity reads 'No Broom at the Shin'.

More biblical fisticuffs soon...

1
MADJEZ 29.12.11 2:43pm
writinginbsl
‘2012 will be more of the same old shit’ predicts Mystic Meg

In a break from tradition, Mystic Meg’s prediction for 2012 was limited to just a few lines. ‘With a cock in Westminster, fat fuckers mooning over North America and no sign of money rising in the...

1
Immunis 29.12.11 11:17am
dvo4fun
Government propose One Chav per Family Law

In an attempt to reduce the number of feckless unemployable youths roaming Britain, the coalition government have proposed limiting the number of registered chavs to one per household. The Minister...

4
Immunis 29.12.11 10:41am
Al OPecia