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Music industry:"It's OK to buy paedo music now Jacko's dead" 1
Matt T 3 years

Michael Jackson fans were relieved to be given the music industry’s blessing to rush out and buy his new album ‘Michael’ now that he’s a non-living paedophile. Some people had previously...

New iPhone app tells you which countries can hear your loud headphones 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Waitrose home delivery fails to meet expectation as lorry crashes into home. 0
DiY 3 years
Tony Blair to guest edit Ethical Warfare magazine 3
ronseal 3 years

Christian Zeal, publisher of Ethical Warfare magazine, has announced that Tony Blair will edit the January edition of the best selling monthly that celebrates justified genocide., 'It's a major...

Local council hails 'Posh Booze Empties' recycling scheme 5
Golgo13 3 years

An initiative announced by Kingston Borough council today promises to relieve thousands of hard-working recession-hit families from the shame of putting out budget-brand alcohol containers in their...

Vince Cable challenges Rupert Murdoch to a dance off. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Confused.com in sponsorship deal with Alzeimer researchers 1
simonjmr 3 years
BAA boss refuses bonus as salary already obscenely high 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Spread bet: the number of stitches that Joey Barton’s next victim will need... 0
Doylem 3 years
Fuck Verity ,A lot of have been through her ,but she remains true. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Yoko Ono says give peace a chance ,kill all Jews Muslims and Catholics 6
Malcum eggs 3 years

it`s what John would have wanted...

Government to spend hundreds of millions on snowploughs "to jinx it" 5
3 years

The government intends to invest hundreds of millions of pounds on snowploughs, gritters and salt supplies in a bid to "jinx" the chances of Britain experiencing another rough winter, it emerged this...

Cable Dismisses “Attention Seeking” Earthquake 0
De-scribe 3 years

Business Secretary Vince Cable has criticised the small earthquake that hit parts of Cumbria last night for “blatant attention seeking”. In a statement Mr Cable stated “It is typical of...

The Official Salted Snack of the 2012 Olympics: an announcement... 3
Doylem 3 years

*** Press release, embargoed until January 1, 2011 *** With the London Olympics being held next year, these are exciting times for the salted snack sector of the ‘finger food’ industry. Transco...

Kings of Leon advised; 'Oh, Your bus is on fire.' 4
wallster 3 years
Cumbrian Woman Faking The Earth Moving Is Felt In Neighbouring Counties. 0
IABP 3 years
Cable to be replaced by Mobile Phone 0
simonjmr 3 years

Dashed if I know what the dot they are on about said an antiquated Cable. More soon...

Baggage handlers get into festive mood by exchanging travellers’ luggage... 0
Doylem 3 years
Al-Qaeda spokesman praises Cable for 'textbook suicide bombing' 0
pinxit 3 years
Cumbria braced for influx of news crews desperate for a story without snow 1
MC One R 3 years
Rafael Benitez fired "just as I got the team playing the way I wanted" 0
MC One R 3 years

"Exactly my point" said the Inter Milan Chief Executive...

Decision on Cable's future "going down to the wire" 0
MC One R 3 years
Government to ditch Cable in favour of Satellite. More soon. 0
MC One R 3 years
Vince Cable eaten by escaped snow leopards 4
Basil_B 3 years

'Where the fuck did they come fro.' Last words of Vince Cable. Press humourists have named both leopards Rupert and Murdoch...

Report: Black Santas more likely to be stopped and searched than white Santas 0
Long Distance Clara 3 years

Figures published today by the Ministry of Justice have revealed that the police continue to discriminate against ethnic minority Father Christmases, with Santas of colour almost 12 times more likely...

Cumbria regrets the vegetarian option 0
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Royal weddings “to boost tourist trade” in 2011... 0
Doylem 3 years

Bob Appleyard, a travel industry expert, sees cheer amid the gloom. “Air travel has taken quite a hit this year, starting with volcanic ash and finishing off with ice and snow. The travel industry...

Small earthquake in Cumbria, not many dead... 0
Doylem 3 years
Stop press: politician over-estimates his own importance... 0
Doylem 3 years
Strictly dancing announces spin off show ,doddering old fools and horses. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years