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Police reveal Mandela body found in Oscar Pistorius bathroom.

I'll get my coat...

MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:39pm
Salford man in hiding after admitting "I never met Mandela"

A Salford man is currently receiving specialist counselling after voluntarily admitting "I never met Mandela". Police are asking for others in a similar position to come forward for their own...

Kevin the Swan 07.12.13 9:33pm
Man saying nothing about Mandela accused of being racist 1
Dumbnews 07.12.13 8:01pm
Nelson Mandela was absolutely great

Former South African president, Nelson Mandela, who passed away yesterday, was absolutely great in every single way possible, it has been revealed. It is just difficult to put into words just how...

jamsieoconnor 07.12.13 7:52pm
Nissan Main Dealer in Cape Town "Surprised and delighted" by heartfelt tributes 4
Skylarking 07.12.13 7:42pm
Paddy Berzinski
Keith Vaz clears his diary and heads for Pretoria

More next week...

medici2471 07.12.13 5:13pm
Mexican thief with radiation poisonoing upset not to have developed superpowers 0
Smart Alex 07.12.13 4:54pm
Smart Alex
First wave of internet Mandela gags fails in mass premature e-joculation.

More lateronish...

Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:44pm
Al OPecia
Harry Enfield rues loss of last remaining accurate impersonation. 3
Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:31pm
Ancient Manuscript Found In English Monastery Ruins…..

….Forecasts a blue-tunic group of men, greedy for power, will pillage the land and rob the poor…. Nah, could be a hoax...

Jesse Bigg 07.12.13 3:46pm
Jesse Bigg
Sorry - post withdrawn

Nothing to see here move along...

AReader 07.12.13 2:55pm
Justin Bieber asks to be sent to prison for 27 years. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 07.12.13 12:54pm
Al OPecia
New photo opportunity required

Politicians, celebrities, pop-star charity fund-raisers, political correspondents, reformed gangsters, relatives, distant relatives, un-reformed gangsters, Heads of States, Heads of failed States,...

vulture1 07.12.13 11:13am
Al OPecia
FIFA deny Brazil 2014 match ball hit by cutbacks More soon...

jp1885 07.12.13 10:58am
Dolphin Searches for Billingsgate Market in vain

Douglas the Dolphin returned to London today, helped along by the Great Storm Surge of 2013, only to find his favourite fish market is no more. "I'm devastated", Douglas said in an interview by the...

Beer Sampler 07.12.13 10:56am
Gangs of pensioners bringing country to halt with their lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes. Pensioners across the...

Midfield Diamond 07.12.13 10:51am
Kids relieved as body in chimney 'not Santa'

A Tampa family is celebrating today after an autopsy revealed that human remains found in their chimney turned out to be a real murder victim and not Santa Claus. The discovery was made when Pam...

Dick Everyman 07.12.13 10:24am
Dick Everyman
Marine given life sentence for not being an officer 0
A.A.Arkwright 07.12.13 10:17am
Peckham trader hopes to sell stock of 'Free Nelson Mandela' tshirts this weekend

More soon, luvly jubbly...

MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:45am
Small Business Saturday sponsored by credit card small business won't accept.

Sponsored by Amex to 'boost' small business. They will all be charged 5% for putting an A4 sheet in their window...

MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:25am
Dyson hand dryer dries hands in 10 seconds, damages ears in 5 seconds 1
Dumbnews 07.12.13 9:21am
Tidal Surge blasted for insensitivity

Many MP's along the East coast of the UK have complained to the Met Office over the 'questionable timing' of the tidal surge following the death of Nelson Mandela. Alan Fairchild of Hull blasted...

Mr Orca 07.12.13 9:02am
Kevin the Swan
World Cup Draw: England prepare for Brazilian rainforest games

Captain Steven Gerrard at Kew Gardens training ground this afternoon....

pinxit 07.12.13 8:55am
BBC accused of dumbing down for Christmas

The BBC have been accused of dumbing down ahead of their Christmas and New Year TV listings., Critics are particularly concerned over programmes such as ‘No Shit Sherlock’ starring Benedict...

Gerontius 07.12.13 8:02am
Jeremy Hunt
Funny Bush joke criticized for being too late 0
Dumbnews 06.12.13 6:44pm
BBC Poised To Report 'Nuclear Catastrophe' As Storms Lash British Coast 0
Titus 06.12.13 6:30pm
'Girl with huge tits essential' says Blatter

Sap Blatter has defended the use of huge tits during the World Cup draw saying the occasion would not have gone smoothly without them., Blatter said the use of tit-technology had been introduced as...

Gerontius 06.12.13 5:41pm
Economists struggle to explain sudden price jump on 24/6 flights from Brazil. 0
Ref Minor 06.12.13 5:36pm
Ref Minor
Mandela United drawn in group of death... 0
Tripod 06.12.13 5:25pm
England's Brazilian dream melts quicker than an ice cream

17.00 hrs England firm favourite to win World Cup, 17.05 hrs England confident of making the semi finals, 17.10 hrs England lucky if they escape the group stage, 17.15 hrs England cancel trip to...

irreverendJ 06.12.13 5:17pm