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Fire Extinguisher throws student off of building in revenge attack 6
finneyp 3 years

Extremist fire extinguishers celebrated today after launching a student head first off of the roof of a London building in what they claim is a revenge attack following the previous student riots...

Tea for the Taliban... 0
Doylem 3 years

Jack and Elsie Fanshaw are coming to terms with the fact that for six months they shared their South London home with Afghan rebels. “We had the Taliban here, didn’t we, Jack? Nice young men....

Details of McDegree reveal option for sandwich course 0
andhrimnir 3 years

McOxbridge variant to include classics - "Would you like Fry with that."...

Tory Immigration Policy Shows Immediate Results As Half of UK Turns All White 1
IABP 3 years

Result! shouts Daily Mail Headline...

Forecasters warn snow stories likely to cover UK media for next fortnight 5
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Tempura's flare as Koreans shell Chinese Restaurants 0
finneyp 3 years
Billy Joel to change from Rock and Roll to Hip op 0
arrghgarry 3 years

according to yahoo...

Government appoints Ken Dodd happiness tsar 2
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Capacity of rail network to rise 17% 0
MC One R 3 years

Excuses from First Great Western as to why service is still crap to rise by a minimum of 18% in same period...

Time travel 'already commonplace' admits athlete and peer Lord Stephen Hawking 3
bonjonelson 3 years

Lord Stephen Hawking, the most accomplished sprinter Britain has ever produced, claimed last night that physicists have travelled backwards and forwards through the ages 'for some time'; altering the...

Face of Jesus found on front of Jesus' head 6
dicky37 3 years

[Derivative I know, but couldn't resist it]...

Obese Sailors of Chinese Navy put on diet... 0
Dexter 3 years

no more junk food...

Disney launches the iHoiHoiHo 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Taxpayers delighted £8bn to be spent so bankers can commute in more comfort 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
I fell for the old ‘here have a police van’ trick, admits violent anarchist. 2
malgor 3 years

Professional violent anarchist student peaceful protest-march infiltrator, Miles Brewer, said tonight he felt ‘a right donkey’ when he realised he’d fallen for the oldest trick in the book. ...

You know what I call rats? Walking pigeons! says Mr Cliche Mutator 11
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

Another great British cliche was mutated last night, the fifth in as many days. It happened in the Crown and Greyhound in Dulwich, as the subject of vermin came under discussion. The mutation...

Cured ham thanks medical staff. 3
malgor 3 years
Andrew Strauss 'satisfied' with Ashes start - "at least it took until the 0
Nick McCarr 3 years

3rd ball this time to completely arse up the series"...

Ageing Japanese porn star "kuchi choudai"25 is not too keen 0
arrghgarry 3 years

on Sci-Fi story line of her latest AV adventure " Face time continuum"...

Police say expensive gadgets will revolutionize the fight to avoid solving crime 0
Basil_B 3 years

The Hampshire Police Authority today attempted to justify the approval of purchasing 159 mobile data terminals (MDTs) which will be fitted to the force's patrol vehicles for the purposes of...

Internet Porn use increases tenfold due to Ashes 'all nighter excuses' 0
Moggsy 3 years
Striking Scottish Referees to be sued under trades Description Act... 0
Dexter 3 years

at best, they're only average-looking, say fans. How's that, guys?...

NZ miners will not come out in sympathy for striking Scottish Referees 7
simonjmr 3 years
BBC Executives Given 20 Minutes To Come Up With Ready Steady Cook's Replacement 2
IABP 3 years

Ready Steady Cook finally ended its run as the longest running cookery programme today and the Head of BBC Cooking & Baking, currently the largest department in the corporation, gave two...

My Cocky Wok - Russell Brand to release recipe book for Christmas 0
Milo Shame 3 years

(more soon)...

Kim ll Sung kicks off number one on his bucket list 0
arrghgarry 3 years
Racing snail has shell removed for better speed but has become more sluggish. 11
martin.chew 3 years

My racing snail has been lacking a little pace of late. I removed his shell, in hope he would be a little more streamlined and faster but, if anything, he has become more sluggish...

Student moans about police kettling tactics after not being offered a cup of tea 0
Stan Laurel 3 years
Cured schizophrenic beside himself with happiness 3
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Chinese Captain arrested at the port of San Francisco 3
arrghgarry 3 years

for hitting an immigration official who touched his Junk...