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Elton John changes "own" nappy before changing baby Son's 0
thackaray 3 years
Window opens for gym membership... 0
Doylem 3 years

Briefly, for just a couple of weeks in January, people of all shapes, sizes and body mass index get the urge to join a gym. Christmas over-indulgence has left them feeling corpulent and broke, so New...

Police believe the killer of Landscape architect has gone to ground. 2
Malcum eggs 3 years

Boyfriend denies she was a hoe. Boyfriend or workmate did it ...

Seasonal platitudes to be made “contractual”, says MP... 2
Doylem 3 years

Bob Wainwright, MP for Cropreddy (West), is putting a private member’s bill before parliament, aimed at giving seasonal platitudes contractual status. “Following so closely after Christmas, the...

Poundstretcher prosecuted under Trades Descriptions Act... 1
victory V 3 years

"they don't sell medical equipment at all, let alone the cheap stuff," said a trading standards officer. "We're going after Boots next," he added...

Alan Partridge comes down from Pear Tree 0
Rowly 3 years
On Twelth day of Christmas my True Love gave to me: Hepatitis B 1
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

English cricket team exposed as being Pakistani 'B' team in disguise 0
dogwheels 3 years

The world of cricket has been rocked today after investigators claimed several of England's key Ashes players are in fact members of the Pakistan 'B' team in disguise. ICC investigators said their...

Pedant claims Xbox 'is still a box'. more soon 2
Mrblacker 3 years
First soldier fitted with a prosthetic head wants to go back to the front soon. 8
melody 3 years
Abu Hamza 'real brains' behind Father Ted 1
dogwheels 3 years

A new documentary to be broadcast next week is to reveal for the first time that firebrand Muslim cleric Abu Hamza was the comedy genius behind cult Channel Four show Father Ted. Father Ted,...

Once upon a time, there were three bears. Two Daddy bears & a baby Bear 0
Rowly 3 years
London Times crossword Editor reports that muslims are killing Non believers 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Dubbin, last sighted in 1978, declared “extinct”... 11
Doylem 3 years
Elton and David draw lots to see who gets to breast-feed Zachary... 0
Doylem 3 years
Father's day becomes the most confusing day of the year in Elton John's house. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Cable: “I Done A Twenty Second Wheelie – With No Hands” 0
3 years

Vince Cable returned to the centre of a political storm last night as further revelations were made regarding his consitutency meeting with two undercover Telegraph journalists. A transcript of the...

Riding in a one-horse open sleigh 'overrated' 0
Oxbridge 3 years
Turkey gets new disease called 'Pox Gobbling'. 0
Trickster 3 years

Quacks say he caught 'pox gobbling' off a chicken...

Baby Zachary Furnish-John thinks his two new Dads are 'A little bit funny' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Drummers set to strike as government cut 12 days of Christmas to 11. 0
TerribleTim 3 years
Cold turkey complains of goose bumps. 3
Trickster 3 years
Disappearance of pond ice is 'symptomatic' of Global Warming say campaigners 0
Mrblacker 3 years

Green campaigners say the melting of a sheet of ice covering a water feature in the Midlands city centre, is undeniable evidence of climate change. The sheet - on the Waterwindow in Coventry - has...

Free nicotine patches for smokers provided they put them over their mouths 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Million UK children lacking computers forced to use their parents' smart phones 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Gordon Ramsay’s books ‘more proof of Neanderthal man’s culinary sophistication' 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Terrorists thwarted in attempt to make Big Ben go bang rather than bong 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Extinction set to return... 0
victory V 3 years

'in the highly-charged world of sub-atomic particles, I'm positive I can make it', he said...

'Sloppy gaggers' set to make a come-back. 0
victory V 3 years
John Tomsett arrested by police after saving DJ 's life 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

Greater Manchester Chief superintendent Andrew Holt said a lot of Morrissey fans had gone to a lot of trouble to follow out their leaders orders and had successfully shoved the irritating DJ into...