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Intelligent machines close to developing capacity for low self esteem

Intelligent machines may soon have the ability to wonder why they bother as scientists come close to reproducing the human genome for esteem. "We've already got intelligent machines. But the self...

17
ronseal 09.01.12 1:01pm
JonnyJP
David Cameron is morphing into Richard Nixon.

First the hairline, then the credibility gap, now the rapidly developing jowls and profuse sweating. More invited...

1
miked10270 06.01.12 9:51pm
Jesse Bigg
Police to examine whether they are “institutionally stupid”

It has been a difficult week for the police force. First came the news that police officers were handing back guns to mentally unstable people “as part of a weapons amnesty”. Then the leaked...

0
nickb 04.01.12 11:06am
nickb
BHF campaigns to make life saving look less gay

A spokesperson for the British Heart Foundation said “it’s a terrible shame, but dozens of men die needlessly each year because other men won’t perform CPR out of fear they may look like they...

12
Newsquelch 05.01.12 10:32am
charlies_hat
Lonely Heart requests 'no kissing, just hard CPR' 1
charlies_hat 04.01.12 10:29am
Andy Gray and Sergio Berlusconi to replace Alesha Dixon as strictly Judges. 0
godly1966 04.01.12 9:42am
godly1966
Loch Ness is giant spirit level, Customs and Excise admit. 0
Griffin 04.01.12 7:33am
Griffin
Graham Norton-Holmes and The Strange Incident at the British Museum

It was one of those blustery grey February afternoons where London was weary from an interminable winter. Arch-sleuth, Graham Norton-Norton-Holmes was dozing by a blazing fire after a solid lunch of...

1
Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 9:28am
dvo4fun
Poteen Plays Leading Role In Frustrated Love Story

Poteen Plays Leading Role, In Frustrated Love Story It was late on the night shift in the CAF – Cosmic Air Force – bunker deep in the Hampshire countryside. Star Fleet Commander Fitzwilliam...

0
Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 12:22am
Inigo Unsworth
25 Million tune in to Freaky Eaters 'addicted to a balanced diet' special

A special episode of Freaky Eaters, broadcast on January 2nd, has attracted a staggering 25.6 million viewers making it the 4th most watched TV programme in UK history. This places it above the...

6
JonnyJP 04.01.12 12:35pm
JonnyJP
Mitt Romney is favourite to win Republican's "Silly name" contest

Newt Gingrich outraged...

1
Quaz 09.02.12 12:43pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
John Terry appalled at being seen on fags. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 03.01.12 9:38pm
Al OPecia
"Guns may be dangerous" - new report

In a new shock report, it turns out that guns might pose a danger to the public. Lottery plans to offer guns as consolation prizes have been put on hold...

0
apepper 03.01.12 9:17pm
apepper
Queen fears Sandringham invitation to Duke of Clarence may have been a mistake 0
medici2471 03.01.12 9:11pm
medici2471
McVities wrappers found beneath seat on French train 0
medici2471 03.01.12 7:28pm
medici2471
Man out walking his dog doesn't find body lying in the undergrowth

A man out walking his dog has returned home without having found a body lying in the undergrowth.,  , 'I raised the alarm as soon as I got home to the wife,' said Joe Williams (52). ' I've been...

3
roybland 04.01.12 10:43am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Only cab drivers without friends or family to be allowed to hold gun licence

more to follow...

0
medici2471 03.01.12 7:09pm
medici2471
Memory of 90-91 Ashes Tour finally too much for Atherton to bear. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 03.01.12 7:39pm
dvo4fun
White Flag unveiled as new Liberal Party Symbol

‘A new year, a new start, a new flag, but the same old Liberal Party’ announced Nick Clegg, deputy PM and party leader as he unveiled a plain white flag and waved it over his head to the tepid...

1
Immunis 03.01.12 7:42pm
dvo4fun
‘We've Had No Complaints’ claim Samaritans after moving call centre offshore 0
Immunis 03.01.12 5:24pm
Immunis
Panasonic working with theoretical physicists on world's first 11D TV

[More soon]...

4
dicky37 05.01.12 9:40am
Sinnick
Police to investigate "Are shotguns too dangerous to be held by the suicidal?" 1
dvo4fun 03.01.12 6:09pm
Perks
Government may merge TV and firearms licences

A combined licence aimed at making payments easier for those who want to watch TV and own firearms may be available later this year. "It is crucial for the future of public service broadcasting...

5
nickb 04.01.12 3:17pm
dvo4fun
Met police advise that John Terry racisim case will be concluded in 2029 2
charlies_hat 03.01.12 6:41pm
Perks
Alesha Dixon "Strictly no talent yes"

More transfer window news soon...

0
button 03.01.12 3:18pm
button
Eugenic gardener alarmed as swede displays wedding ring on carrot 0
medici2471 03.01.12 2:17pm
medici2471
Breast implant manufacturer goes bust. More soon. 8
dominic_mcg 04.01.12 9:31pm
JonnyJP
Scotland to be given independence until the wind dies down. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 03.01.12 2:02pm
dominic_mcg
UK in mourning as police reveal Sandringham body isn’t Fergie 3
Qoxiivi 03.01.12 6:12pm
Al OPecia
Wolf In Sheep's Clothing Defends Alternative Lifestyle 3
sredni vashta 04.01.12 4:18am
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