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64% of English people think 'auld lang syne' is a Burmese dissident. 0
bonjonelson 18.04.12 12:00pm
Amazon launches Rekindle for lapsed readers 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 12:00pm
Snooker world championship in doubt as Blackball demands more money

The premier event of snooker was today thrown into disarray as reports surfaced today that the 'Blackball' has refused to take part in this years event unless her wage demands are met. Blackball is...

yens123 18.04.12 11:34am
Your cut out and keep guide to Fracking

With Fracking all over the news, the government has sought to put the public’s fear at ease in a manner similar to the tanker drivers dispute, by changing some of terms, names and reported side...

Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 11:32am
iPhone brings an end to UK unemployment

UK unemployment was slashed to an all-time low of zero last night, after the Government controversially rebranded poncing around with an iPhone as a full-time career., iPhone-using twonks will now...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 11:12am
New "Google Glasses" help alcoholics stay on-line

The new glasses, with a 2-inch square screen at the bottom, readable through up to four inches of beer or a standard double Scotch, and with standard mouse controls around the rim, permit drunks to...

Tom55 18.04.12 10:43am
Schoolboys reveal Rangers takeover hoax

THE proposed takeover of Rangers Football Club was plunged into doubt last night after one of the leading bidders was revealed to be two small boys standing on top of each other inside a linen...

clicktingstampz 18.04.12 10:34am
Theresa May announces” Abu Abu Qatada I want to reach out and grab ya” 2
godly1966 18.04.12 10:04am
A few ideas to run past you writers out there....

Ive taken all these headlines from Breivik quizzed on extremist ties - im thinking disney characters on ties, powers ties, bow ties, kipper ties, skinny ties. ties, ties and more ties...

yens123 18.04.12 9:58am
Secret colonial papers reveal 'fuzzy wuzzies don't like it up em'. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:56am
Jack Straw sued by son for rendition over 1997 drug arrest. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:51am
IMF raises target for global growth by this much

IMF raises target for global growth by this much <------------------> The IMF has said that economic growth will grow by over an inch on most PowerPoint Presentations globally this year....

yens123 18.04.12 9:47am
Aung San Suu Kyi's first trip abroad in 24 years to be hen weekend in Benidorm. 0
MADJEZ 18.04.12 9:37am
36 football fans drown in mexican wave tragedy 1
bonjonelson 18.04.12 9:19am
Laxative factory expansion could create Thousands of more Jobs, 4
Zen 18.04.12 9:16am
17 yo/s addicted to new hazard perception test computer game

Following recent updates to the DVLA hazard perception theory test, young learners have found the practise CD-ROM so engrossing that many have become addicted to the format. Game developers, EA...

kga6 18.04.12 9:11am
Spain ‘Telling on Argentina’

Spain has warned Argentina that he will ‘tell on him’ after the rogue South-American shambles seized Spain’s favourite oil exploration subsidiary whilst Spain wasn’t looking, presumably in...

Old Hat 18.04.12 9:09am
Old Hat
London 2012 "Expect Less" Campaign A Surprise Success

The London Olympic marketing committee's unusual decision to go with "It's not going to change your life or anything" and a depiction of frowning man in a flat cap looking balefully at an ugly and...

Textbook 18.04.12 9:09am
Empire switches mobile contract to O2 amid Jedi bias allegations

Darth Vader the Dark Lord of the Sith today confirmed that the Imperial Empire have decided to switch their mobile operator from Vodafone to O2 after the company showed allegiance to the Jedi with a...

Rizzo 18.04.12 9:01am
Old Hat
Teressa May tells commons of her intentions to deport Jack Straw to Jordan 0
Scronnyglonkle 18.04.12 8:46am
V Imp Conf IMHO

CEOs from CBI members (e.g. M & S, HSBC and BAe) will gather for a conference at the NEC this Saturday. Keynote speakers from the IoD, MoD and WoD are to address issues such as B2B, PPP and POP,...

Iggy Pop-Barker 18.04.12 7:57am
Ryanair flight left passengers 'barely 30 feet closer to destination'

A Ryanair flight which left ‘London’ at 8.16am and arrived in ‘Dublin’ at 8.18am has been condemned by the 125 passengers onboard after it left them hundreds of pounds out of pocket and...

18.04.12 6:19am
Archaeologist unearths ancient documents after cleaning out closet 0
Dumbnews 18.04.12 3:26am
"One idiot could disrupt Olympic Games" - claim Boris Johnson watchers. 7
bonjonelson 17.04.12 11:45pm
Teenage Males Face “Day of the Triffids” Style Blindness

Following the self publication on the Internet of topless photos of pop star Rihanna, coupled with the recently leaked internet video of a certain female pop star performing a “Sexual act”, a...

Quaz 17.04.12 11:31pm
Jumbo Jet expecting twins after mating with Space Shuttle. 1
JETFAB 17.04.12 11:06pm
M&S downgraded to M after tock hortage

No'S's left...

victimms 17.04.12 9:33pm
Admin clerk deports Theresa May in error

More when she returns...

victimms 17.04.12 9:06pm
New prostate cancer treatment gets the thumbs up 5
Duncan Biscuit 17.04.12 7:49pm
Ark builders hit by drought

Ark manufacturers across southern Britain say orders are drying up as drought conditions spread. 'If Noah was alive today,' said John Woods, who has run the family ark building business for three...

roybland 17.04.12 7:23pm