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Government outlaws fascist bastardism.

Government passes new bill to protect the rights of "Fascist Bastards"., An overwhelming majority vote in parliament today recognised that, "Fascist Bastardism" will not be tolerated in the UK. ...

4
Ching 08.12.13 5:04am
FOAD
Coalition Government to sell off UK to France

The decision to sell the nation's stake in the UK was confirmed this week by the financial secretary to the Treasury, Danny Alexander - recently voted Britain's most annoying ginger twat in a pub in...

1
zabko1961 08.12.13 5:01am
FOAD
Fred Goodwin & Paul Flowers Become Air Traffic Controllers

http://news.sky.com/story/1179070/air-traffic-control-problem-delays-uk-flights...

0
Titus 08.12.13 3:11am
Titus
Andrew Mitchell Names His Favourite Christmas Song

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hI1nPd7hezM...

0
Titus 08.12.13 3:01am
Titus
Malala 'a saddo loser', British schoolchildren agree

Schoolchildren throughout Britain are still struggling to come to terms with the acclaim accorded to Malala Yousafzai, a Pakistani school pupil and activist blogger who was shot in the head by the...

13
Oxbridge 08.12.13 12:18am
Mr Target
Nissan Main Dealers bemused by floral tributes. More soon. 3
Al OPecia 07.12.13 10:25pm
antharrison
Now Revealed: Mandela Left Bad Review Of Robin Island On Trip Advisor 2
Titus 07.12.13 10:24pm
antharrison
Dinner party fantasist revises invite list following Mandela's death

Mike Jones, a 68 year-old car salesman from Manchester, has - for the 40th time - been forced to revise the invitee list for his 'Ideal' dinner party following the death of Nelson Mandela. 'I...

10
antharrison 07.12.13 9:57pm
antharrison
Police reveal Mandela body found in Oscar Pistorius bathroom.

I'll get my coat...

1
MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:39pm
antharrison
Salford man in hiding after admitting "I never met Mandela"

A Salford man is currently receiving specialist counselling after voluntarily admitting "I never met Mandela". Police are asking for others in a similar position to come forward for their own...

6
Kevin the Swan 07.12.13 9:33pm
Squudge
Man saying nothing about Mandela accused of being racist 1
Dumbnews 07.12.13 8:01pm
Ching
Nelson Mandela was absolutely great

Former South African president, Nelson Mandela, who passed away yesterday, was absolutely great in every single way possible, it has been revealed. It is just difficult to put into words just how...

27
jamsieoconnor 07.12.13 7:52pm
Titus
Nissan Main Dealer in Cape Town "Surprised and delighted" by heartfelt tributes 4
Skylarking 07.12.13 7:42pm
Paddy Berzinski
Keith Vaz clears his diary and heads for Pretoria

More next week...

2
medici2471 07.12.13 5:13pm
medici2471
Mexican thief with radiation poisonoing upset not to have developed superpowers 0
Smart Alex 07.12.13 4:54pm
Smart Alex
First wave of internet Mandela gags fails in mass premature e-joculation.

More lateronish...

0
Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:44pm
Al OPecia
Harry Enfield rues loss of last remaining accurate impersonation. 3
Al OPecia 07.12.13 4:31pm
FOAD
Ancient Manuscript Found In English Monastery Ruins…..

….Forecasts a blue-tunic group of men, greedy for power, will pillage the land and rob the poor…. Nah, could be a hoax...

0
Jesse Bigg 07.12.13 3:46pm
Jesse Bigg
Sorry - post withdrawn

Nothing to see here move along...

2
AReader 07.12.13 2:55pm
AReader
Justin Bieber asks to be sent to prison for 27 years. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 07.12.13 12:54pm
Al OPecia
New photo opportunity required

Politicians, celebrities, pop-star charity fund-raisers, political correspondents, reformed gangsters, relatives, distant relatives, un-reformed gangsters, Heads of States, Heads of failed States,...

1
vulture1 07.12.13 11:13am
Al OPecia
FIFA deny Brazil 2014 match ball hit by cutbacks

http://www.foodsubs.com/Photos/turnip5.jpg More soon...

7
jp1885 07.12.13 10:58am
godly1966
Dolphin Searches for Billingsgate Market in vain

Douglas the Dolphin returned to London today, helped along by the Great Storm Surge of 2013, only to find his favourite fish market is no more. "I'm devastated", Douglas said in an interview by the...

1
Beer Sampler 07.12.13 10:56am
godly1966
Gangs of pensioners bringing country to halt with their lunchtime queuing

An undercover police operation has revealed that a Mafia-like organisation is behind the huge number of retired people queuing in banks and post offices during lunchtimes. Pensioners across the...

9
Midfield Diamond 07.12.13 10:51am
godly1966
Kids relieved as body in chimney 'not Santa'

A Tampa family is celebrating today after an autopsy revealed that human remains found in their chimney turned out to be a real murder victim and not Santa Claus. The discovery was made when Pam...

0
Dick Everyman 07.12.13 10:24am
Dick Everyman
Marine given life sentence for not being an officer 0
A.A.Arkwright 07.12.13 10:17am
A.A.Arkwright
Peckham trader hopes to sell stock of 'Free Nelson Mandela' tshirts this weekend

More soon, luvly jubbly...

0
MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:45am
MADJEZ
Small Business Saturday sponsored by credit card small business won't accept.

Sponsored by Amex to 'boost' small business. They will all be charged 5% for putting an A4 sheet in their window...

0
MADJEZ 07.12.13 9:25am
MADJEZ
Dyson hand dryer dries hands in 10 seconds, damages ears in 5 seconds 1
Dumbnews 07.12.13 9:21am
Gerontius
Tidal Surge blasted for insensitivity

Many MP's along the East coast of the UK have complained to the Met Office over the 'questionable timing' of the tidal surge following the death of Nelson Mandela. Alan Fairchild of Hull blasted...

3
Mr Orca 07.12.13 9:02am
Kevin the Swan