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Black community rejoice in the news that Air Ambulances to carry Blood 0
tedweasel 06.03.12 6:55am
tedweasel
Church not singing from same him sheet

More puns to follow...

0
apepper 06.03.12 6:44am
apepper
New iPad will be 'the one after iPad 2' says Apple insider

A new iPad expected to be unveiled by Apple in San Francisco on Wednesday is believed to be the one after iPad 2 according to rumours. Months of speculation have built up in anticipation of...

1
roybland 06.03.12 6:24am
Ostsee
Dogs complain that their meat is a bit tough and full of lead shot. 0
Ostsee 06.03.12 6:16am
Ostsee
Urinating England star cautioned - "That was never a yellow ref!" 1
kga6 05.03.12 10:54pm
virtuallywill
Medvedev sacked as Russian Premier by Roman Abramovich after bad run of results

Who would have thought that the Premier of Russia Dmitry Medvedev would be giving his last press conference last Friday morning. The Premier seemed defensive regarding Russia's poor performance this...

0
paddyparkinson 05.03.12 8:44pm
paddyparkinson
Lazy oafs complain child disadvantages not covered by child benefits

Indolent cretins countrywide today expressed their 'right to free speech and stuff' by condemning the child benefit cuts, largely through sloppy mouthfuls of burger residue. One time paper-boy and...

0
kga6 05.03.12 8:33pm
kga6
Pippa Middleton and Prince Harry 'at it like rabbits'

Pippa Middleton and Prince Harry have been 'at it' like rabbits, despite being on two separate continents. Foxy Pippa, 28, is thought to have eaten some carrots during a visit to Sweden, while the...

5
05.03.12 8:16pm
Perks
Carl Douglas charged with perjury. Turns out not everyone was kung fu fighting. 3
dominic_mcg 05.03.12 7:58pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
"Sod this for a game of soldiers!" Abrimovich buys a Golf club instead

more later...

0
dvo4fun 05.03.12 7:33pm
dvo4fun
French opinion poll reaction: "There's the Station...." shrugs President Sarkozy

More later...

0
dvo4fun 05.03.12 7:25pm
dvo4fun
Sky launches Sky Sports Dog Dancing HD

Sky Television has launched a new sports channel, after discovering some people with aerials had found something to watch. From the middle of March, viewers can choose to hand over the last of their...

2
05.03.12 5:46pm
Perks
Chelsea to replicate Buzzcocks and HIGNFY model with weekly guest manager.

Chelsea to copy the Never Mind The Buzzcocks and HIGNFY model with weekly guest Managers. Rumours abound that several sacked managers and high profile celebrities such as the Attenborough brothers,...

0
Curbie Firetank 05.03.12 4:44pm
Curbie Firetank
Don't tell him Pike actor dead 1
simonjmr 05.03.12 4:20pm
beau-jolly
Chelsea FC

Chelsea FC: Andre Villas-Boas update, The club say next time we will pick a manager with a name we can get on the back of a shirt, more on Sky Sports...

1
waggy 05.03.12 4:16pm
Qoxiivi
Arabella Weir's bum can be seen from space, Nasa study concludes. 0
Boutros 05.03.12 4:10pm
Boutros
Geoff Boycott wins London Cross Rail tunnel-boring contract

more later...

0
dvo4fun 05.03.12 4:03pm
dvo4fun
David Cameron appoints new head of strategy, Englebert Humperdinck

‘Englebert is a valued addition to the team,’ said Mr Cameron. ‘He has sold over 150 million albums which is far more than Steve Hilton ever managed, and he is just the man to help me appeal to...

4
Ludicity 05.03.12 3:22pm
Ludicity
Old Age Road Rage

90 year old granny Eileen Butts was hospitalised yesterday after being run over by a speeding pensioner on a mobility scooter. She had been walking through the local shopping area with friends when...

0
Marko 05.03.12 2:48pm
Marko
Bishop claims opposition to gay marriage and priest marriage is pure coincidence

Cardinal Keith O'Brien has clarified his opposition to gay marriage: "It's just like priests getting married; well nearly."...

0
apepper 05.03.12 2:40pm
apepper
Parliament to be outsourced - Says Minister

A proposal for Parliament to be outsourced to India is on the cards. As a part of cost cutting exercise all proceedings will be done by proxy in India and can be televised here over the internet for...

2
Rabi 05.03.12 2:38pm
Drylaw
Flash in the plan meteor witnessed across Britain, just Nick Clegg claim pundits 0
simonjmr 05.03.12 2:28pm
simonjmr
New government back reality TV show will 'Search for a Tsar'

12 Quango hopefuls, each with a heart rending back story and an unshakeable self belief, will compete for the million pound prize in the Parliamentary TV Channel's smash hit new reality TV show,...

0
ronseal 05.03.12 2:25pm
ronseal
World's most gullible child born yesterday 6
beau-jolly 05.03.12 2:24pm
beau-jolly
Government recycling Tsar sacked after suggesting general election more soon... 0
Bismarck 05.03.12 2:08pm
Bismarck
Government's 'traffic tsar' to be called 'tsar of all the rush-hours.'

Moscow for a drink., Pork products supremo 'tsar of all the rashers.'...

2
John Ffitch-Rucker 05.03.12 2:06pm
Haywood Manley
Man explains why he got rid of vacuum cleaner - "It was just gathering dust" 12
Haywood Manley 05.03.12 1:48pm
Haywood Manley
Man who saw French synth pioneer's bedspread twice suffers duvet jarre.

Like what Smart Alex said...

1
Haywood Manley 05.03.12 1:34pm
malgor
Government Recycling Tsar ‘could become star’ suggests crossword enthusiast 0
Midfield Diamond 05.03.12 1:04pm
Midfield Diamond
Politicians, celebrities profit from “anti-satire insurance”.

When a well-known Chancellor of the Exchequer read in a humorous comment piece that his mouth was like “the clenched and encrusted anus of a constipated dachshund” he still managed a smile,...

1
nickb 05.03.12 1:02pm
Golgo13