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Conservatives Do Away With GMT 0
Chunky Monkey 3 years

David Cameron, The Prime Minister today announced his intentions to do away with the nasty Greenwich Mean Time., In his weekly address to the combined Houses of Parliaments, he stated it was...

“Go Now” Gaddafi tells Clegg 3
bunuryd 3 years

Colonel Gaddafi has called on Nick Clegg to put an end the bitter in-fighting by standing down. He says that although Clegg came to power in an initial rush of revolutionary zeal after the overthrow...

Gaddafi has to stay for as long as it takes 0
4ty2 3 years

to remove any traces about acquiring Sadams nuclear arsenal to buy himself into the arms of western leaders whilst freeing him of the unpopular evidence and the involvement of British and US arms...

Shortage of swatters 0
OldThingy 3 years

There is going to be a serious problem in the planned No Fly Zone over Libya as there is a shortage of swatters. However, Aerosols may be used in swarm conditions (at least I think that's what they...

GP Commissioning looks to to secure best hospital deals 1
Mrs Pudsey 3 years

Under the coalition, the NHS will undergo the most radical reforms since it was implemented in 1948, which will see GP’s deciding which services it buys from a range of hospitals. Dr Denis Kipper...

"Gadaffi, Duck" Warning to Libyan Leader over Sniper Assasin Plot 6
Quaz 3 years

Libyan leader Mohammar Gadaffi is said to be in fear of a shadowy assasin known only as "Elmer Fudd" who may be seaking to blow his beak round to the back of his head. The news follows moves from the...

Gaddafi agres to consessions: 0
LostLad 3 years

Libya to hold referendum on introducing Alternative-Vote system...

High Speed Rail Link "Gets to Birmingham Too Quickly" say Londoners 0
nilbymouse 3 years

Transport secretary Philip Hammond confirms train "much faster on way back"...

North Korea Foregoes Nuclear Weapons, Threatens Obama With Rusty Crowbars 0
Textbook 3 years

In North Koreas's struggling and starvation ridden economy, the practicality of devoting so many resources to building and maintaining a nuclear weapons programme has long been an issue of debate...

Vatican city claims aetheism is a weapon of 'mass' destruction 0
Ddigon o broblem 3 years

more to follow...

BP share price boosted by massive oil find in Cameron 0
antharrison 3 years

BP engineers, looking for new soures of oil, have reported a major find in the dictator state of Cameron. 'The thick oily stuff was billowing out of every orifice we found, it was horrible, but...

Couple denied right to become forster parents for bein unable to explain cricket 0
4ty2 3 years

as they cannot guarantee the development of the foster child’s moral values on which the game is based., The game of cricket is open to players of all religious flavours as well as sexual...

Gay man “comes out” as cricketer... 19
Doylem 3 years

Steven Davies, a gay man, has told the world what his family knew and his team-mates suspected, that he is a professional cricketer currently playing for Surrey and England. “It’s not something...

Gaddaffi guilty of mass genocide - goes to top of Camden's council house list 0
ronseal 3 years
Ex alcoholic Ann Robinson says she now uses plastic surgery to get off face 0
ronseal 3 years
Generous cat identified as 'pussy magnate' 0
ronseal 3 years
Gaddafi refuses IRA offer to kneecap protestors as 'there are none' 0
ronseal 3 years

There's a joke in there somwhere...

Ideas for a name please.. 15
OldThingy 3 years

Prince Charles, in his garden at Highgrove has an area called "The Stumpary" - an area with old tree stumps which are allowed to rot natrually and grow wild for insects and grubs to make their home....

A1, A5 and A47 valued at £3.76 each on Antique Roads Show. 3
be reasonable 3 years
Rail user ruptures space/time continuum in quest for cheap ticket... 0
Doylem 3 years

“It all started when I tried to buy a rail ticket to Glasgow”, recalls London-based Brian Singleton. “The price was astronomical! I bought my first car for less than it was going to cost me to...

Revolting people 2
OldThingy 3 years

Have you noticed there are a lot of revolting people in the world this year, particularly around the middle east. But then my wife is revolting too. She is revolting about me being disgusting. But...

New Prius commercial to feature Eddy Grant's "Electric Avenue" hit 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Stuffing the birds 0
OldThingy 3 years

There was stuffing left over from the turkey last night so I decided to put some out for the birds. I now have a pair of sage and onion tits and a ready stuffed robin...

iPaddle 0
OldThingy 3 years

My apple has gone pear shaped...

Gaddafi updates status to "petulently defiant" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Dear Leader seeks like minded individuals for fun, friendship and more 0
simonjmr 3 years

Due to recent world events Dear Leader finds that they are losing friends, colleagues and like minded despots at an alraming rate due to populist uprisings. Dear Leader would like to meet new...

Canadian Mounties condemn weapons of moose distraction... 1
Doylem 3 years
Soup on tie “not product placement”, say Campbells, just “poor grooming”... 0
Doylem 3 years
Primark warn of expected drop in quality to cut costs further! 0
Iamthestig 3 years

The Big Society spokesman Dale Sloan asks: "Just how low can their quality go?"...

Pam valued at £3.76 on Antiques Rhodes Show. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years