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David Cameron to host Have I Got News For You Christmas Special

Panellists to be George Osborne and Boris Johnson. “We will sort out the total mess made by totally incompetent past Labour hosts and panellists and show the nation posh boys rule” quipped Dave....

1
farmer giles 15.11.13 5:59pm
farmer giles
Prince Charles : “Simon Cowell‘s Right – Ignorance and Luck Built The Empire"

HRH The Prince of Wales has defended Simon Cowell’s claim that children should fail at school and “get lucky” instead. “Every day one visits these dreary northern estates where blatantly...

0
deceangli 15.11.13 5:47pm
deceangli
China boosts economy by donating "unwanted" second children to Pudsey Bear

Terry Wogan reciprocates by sending back previously unreleased footage of naked Floral dancing...

0
simmo 15.11.13 5:25pm
simmo
Oil rigs targeted in dawn DVD copyright infringement raid

It is a message familiar to anyone who has bought or rented a DVD.  Among places where infringements of copyright are common, oil rigs feature prominently.  It's understood leading movie...

8
nickb 15.11.13 5:25pm
nickb
Eating people is good, says Jeremy Hunt, NHS standards of care will rise 0
Loundshay 15.11.13 5:08pm
Loundshay
Princess Anne Attacks Horsemeat Nay-sayers

Princess Anne has responded vigorously to criticism of her proposal that horsemeat should become a part of the British diet. Ahead of next week’s launch of her Anne’s Equine Eats ready meals...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 15.11.13 4:50pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
The sun prepares to 'flip over' to face 'less annoying and rude planets'

Scientists have confirmed today that the sun has 'finally flipped, literally', as the giant mass of hydrogen and helium has announced that it's preparing to 'spin over', to cast its gaze over 'less...

0
Jesus H 15.11.13 4:04pm
Jesus H
New study finds women not likely to have sex with men who do studies 1
Dumbnews 15.11.13 3:57pm
NewBiscuit
Hitler's annexation of Poland declared legal by EU commission

The EU commission has ruled that the German invasion of Poland in 1939 was technically legal under European Treaty legislation., Following objections from various world leaders at the time,...

0
NewBiscuit 15.11.13 3:19pm
NewBiscuit
Over 75's To Get a Named Tattoo Artist 0
Mark66 15.11.13 2:08pm
Mark66
Princess Anne welcomes proposals to raise royals for meat

Inbreeders recommend it...

0
gregle 15.11.13 1:41pm
gregle
Cricket player to stop playing cricket 0
Oxbridge 15.11.13 1:11pm
Oxbridge
British Typhoon victim named as Paul Gadd 21
Ref Minor 15.11.13 1:03pm
beau-jolly
Fraud victim regrets flaunting PIN number on personalised registration plates 0
sydalg 15.11.13 12:58pm
sydalg
Voyeur with binoculars tries to recapture distant mammaries 0
sydalg 15.11.13 12:57pm
sydalg
BoJo in mixed-metaphor call for cyclist cull

Boris Johnson has today used a marathon string of cryptic non-sequiturs in a call for drastic action to rid the city of london of a plague of cyclists., "Our glorious city is becoming overwhelmed by...

0
NewBiscuit 15.11.13 12:50pm
NewBiscuit
Dr Crippen and Dr Shipman's practice welcome return of proper family doctoring 0
Mandy Lifeboat 15.11.13 12:44pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Cameron honoured as Tamil Pussycat

more soon....

0
Dick Everyman 15.11.13 11:31am
Dick Everyman
New virtual Topic bar promises 'A hazelnut in every 63 kilobytes'

More soon (apologies to under-40s)...

1
Skylarking 15.11.13 10:56am
Squudge
Local news : Missing schoolgirl found on Facebook

Missing girl Emma Sealey has been found safe and well. Emma,15, of Mansfield, had been reported missing by her parents on Monday when she didn't Tweet from school as expected. They issued a Youtube...

1
NewBiscuit 15.11.13 10:56am
Squudge
Bin Laden death 'probably an accident', rules police inquiry

After a worldwide manhunt lasting many years, government forces tracked down Osama Bin Laden, shot him several times and dumped his lifeless corpse into the sea in what was "probably an accident",...

8
NewBiscuit 15.11.13 7:35am
ronseal
Reformed chicken sees error of its ways. 1
sredni vashta 15.11.13 7:01am
Sinnick
Isle of Wight to send pedalo to Philippines to aid disaster relief effort. 2
Al OPecia 14.11.13 11:22pm
vulture1
Man left coins in trousers in washing machine, found guilty of money laundering 1
custard cream 14.11.13 10:43pm
nickb
As Prince Charles turns 65 no sign of his apprenticeship becoming full time post 0
irreverendJ 14.11.13 10:42pm
irreverendJ
Fifth break-in at Halfords where only car exhausts are taken. Police are baffled 0
AReader 14.11.13 10:23pm
AReader
Amazon to take over disaster relief distribution 0
Loundshay 14.11.13 9:54pm
Loundshay
Topshop to be renamed Middleshop as sales figures drop 0
davetwojackets 14.11.13 8:15pm
davetwojackets
Cameron offers to form new Government with Roma Community. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.11.13 7:31pm
Al OPecia
When it comes to escapology, Bond buys British

Weighing into the debate over the 'probable' cause of Matt Williams tragic death, Britain’s most well known Mi6 agent is lending his support to the Met's comprehensive conclusions on the matter....

0
Grumage86 14.11.13 7:28pm
Grumage86