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Apple admits their webcams may judge you when not in use 0
gaijintendo 02.01.12 11:50pm
Ed Miliband gutted that Santa didn't bring him any new policies.

Or a personality., Again...

deskpilot3 02.01.12 10:47pm
Makers of low energy light bulbs take dim view of criticism

More to follow...

apepper 02.01.12 10:02pm
Great boobs of fire. Implants latest.

More to follow...

Baubo 02.01.12 9:32pm
Knighted Jonathan Ive critical of design of Queen's dubbing sword

Jonathan Ive, Apple's head of design who was knighted in the New Year Honours list, is said to be critical of the design of the ceremonial sword that will be used by the Queen to confer the honour on...

roybland 02.01.12 9:39pm
"Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" inspiration for twitter

A class mate of Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass today claims that his graffiti in public toilets that "Jack Dorsey and Noah Glass are big fat gayers" was the inspiration for twitter. More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 6:51pm
Scientist ‘grows’ sperm in petri dish...

after colleague suddenly opens door to laboratory, causing him to rapidly shut laptop and pull lab coat tight, saying ‘cold in here, isn’t it’?...

John Ffitch-Rucker 03.01.12 2:22am
Psycadelic Squirrel
Duke of Edinburgh awarded Duke of Edinburgh award

Surprise honour for Duke...

apepper 03.01.12 12:59am
All ELC and CBeebies CDs to come with Parental Warning stickers

"this product may cause parents to go insane, when played constantly" More soon...

simonjmr 02.01.12 4:04pm
Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Charged in Connection To Life Insurance Scam 0
sredni vashta 02.01.12 3:46pm
sredni vashta
Creationist urges police to charge him despite complete 'lack of evidence'

A creationist has confused the whole of the judicial system by insisting the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) push forward and charge him with 'threatening behaviour' despite a complete lack of...

Perks 02.01.12 8:46pm
Rupert Murdoch's twitter account hacked. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.01.12 1:38pm
True scale of faulty ego implants revealed

New evidence shows that millions of ego implants inserted into the heads of celebrities and children in recent decades may be faulty. Originally designed to prolong the careers of celebs as their...

Des Custard 02.01.12 9:46pm
Germany Mulls Over 'Heroic' Third Attempt at European Domination

Germany was pondering invading Poland once again in a 'Back to Basics' Foreign Policy that has enraged her neighbouring countries. "We live in a time of great social and economic uncertainty and...

SimonJJames 02.01.12 4:36pm
Sachs sings "I kissed a Boy and didn't like it" on Brand's ansaphone. More soon 0
Al OPecia 02.01.12 10:57am
Al OPecia
TOWIE and Made in Chelsea to be Hadron collided to create Ultra-reality

or just for a laugh says bored Scientist...

SimonJJames 02.01.12 10:53am
Thrifty couple shave pounds off Virgin space flight by taking 'leftovers soup'

An elderly couple from Dorset are looking forward to a ‘once in a lifetime’ holiday in space, after negotiating a discount for taking their own food. Until now, VirginGalactic has insisted on...

03.01.12 4:03pm
David Cameron: Country can survive despite Olympics and Diamond Jubilee

In a new year message, David Cameron calls on Britons to show a 'stiff upper lip' in the face of the 2012 challenge of the Olympic Games and the Queen's Diamond Jubliee.,  , 'The government will...

roybland 02.01.12 4:25pm
Santa criticised for putting post-xmas list of naughty girls on eBay 0
nickb 02.01.12 10:18am
Jonathan Ive to be made iKnight in The Queen's New Year Honours

Apple 'design guru' Jonathan Ive is to be knighted by The Queen this month in a live webcast to be be streamed around the globe. Sir Jonathan, or just iKnight as he prefers to now be addressed, is...

irregular apple 02.01.12 3:46am
irregular apple
Osborne plots monarchy privatisation as Jubilee costs threaten economic recovery 0
irregular apple 02.01.12 3:38am
irregular apple
Andrew Sachs left gloating message on my answering machine, sobs Russell Brand 7
ronseal 02.01.12 11:16am
John Ffitch-Rucker
Scottish culinary experts still hope to develope deep fried heroin 0
ronseal 01.01.12 8:20pm
Duke of Edinburgh marks Scott expedition with epic walk to church

The Duke of Edinburgh has been applauded by spectators as he walked 400m to church for a New Year's Day service.,  , 'It was marvellous,' said Janice Hill (23) who with hundreds of others...

roybland 02.01.12 9:04pm
Panda battered in Scotland

Police have revealed that a panda has been taken into custody in Edinburgh charged with domestic abuse. Police have released the following statement: "Officers were called to Edinburgh Zoo not long...

Psycadelic Squirrel 01.01.12 7:14pm
Psycadelic Squirrel
Old Macdonald still undecided about wind noise

"With a whoosh-whoosh here, a whoosh-whoosh there.oh dear, it's not right, is it?" In a rare interview the man responsible for the public face of UK agriculture (with special responsibilities to...

nickb 01.01.12 9:39pm
Rebekah Brooks hot tip for Queen's Award to Infamy. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 01.01.12 4:37pm
CERN launches new TV channel "Faster than light - 1"

More before...

antharrison 01.01.12 3:02pm
Russell Brand follows up My Booky Wooky with My Divorcey Worcey

More to follow...

victimms 01.01.12 3:03pm
US to use "Stealth Hangovers" on Taliban

The Pentagon has admitted that it has begun usung "Stealth Hangovers" in their war against the Taliban in the Afghan border region. "Over the last few years we have been researching those kinds of...

Quaz 01.01.12 10:32pm
The All New Jeni B