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Horny woman baffled why no man responds to her emails 0
Dumbnews 15.08.13 12:47am
Queen, Coalition and Murdoch fight over donation to 'whoever runs the country'

It can be done with minimum effort...

Lens Cap 14.08.13 11:08pm
Mafia denial as Sarah Jessica Parker's husband wakes to find horse's head in bed 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 14.08.13 10:59pm
Ed Miliband in Salmonella scare 6
Scronnyglonkle 14.08.13 10:47pm
Steve Coogan to release motivational comedy training video. More soon. 1
Al OPecia 14.08.13 10:15pm
New batch of Barbara Cartland novels breaks publisher's forklift 2
sydalg 14.08.13 6:35pm
Measurement device makers working to rule

More to follow...

apepper 14.08.13 6:10pm
Egg Miliband 0
medici2471 14.08.13 5:22pm
Man who punched police horse pleads "nay" to all charges. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.08.13 4:50pm
Al OPecia
Playing Russian roulette reduces risk of dementia by one-sixth, says Daily Mail 4
sydalg 14.08.13 4:45pm
Legal Battle Between The Queen, The Coalition, Trades Unions And Rupert Murdoch

after woman leaves £500,000 in to "whoever is running the country"...

Titus 14.08.13 4:27pm
Lib Dems & Tories admit £500k donation was really meant for Battersea Dog Home

The Tories and Lib Dems are to return a £500,000 bequest after claims it was to be left to Battersea Dog Home, not to the coalition parties. Retired vet Reginald Forbes left money in his Last Will...

toddandy 14.08.13 4:13pm
Old woman definitely didn't mean to donate money to Conservative party

The government has been widely criticised today for accepting money bequeathed by Miss Alice Turpentine of Bulith Wells to 'whichever bunch of arseholes is prepared to beg for it most'. A...

davepayne164 14.08.13 4:02pm
Peru drug bust nabs Minnie Mouse...

MADJEZ 14.08.13 4:02pm
Ref Minor
Gay Gibraltarian athelete in mercy dash to free Peru drug mules. more soon. 0
Al OPecia 14.08.13 3:29pm
Al OPecia
Spaniards show little interest in campaign to return Benidorm to Spanish control 0
bonjonelson 14.08.13 3:26pm
A kick in the ghoulies !

Tower of London ghost admits to phantom pregnancy!...

Andrew Mack 14.08.13 3:23pm
Lens Cap
New BBC series: Nick and Margaret Despise...

This autumn, the BBC will launch a new series entitled Nick and Margaret Despise In it, Nick Hewitt and Margaret Mounford from The Apprentice will travel the country in a chauffeur-driven car, and...

John Wiltshire 14.08.13 2:21pm
Tenacious D release tribute to One Directions 'Best song ever'

Harry Styles claims he made the song up during a duel with the devil. More soon...

MADJEZ 14.08.13 1:11pm
Met Police rebrand sees it become Crime Industry regulator, OFLET 0
ronseal 14.08.13 12:49pm
Trading Standards: 'One Direction "Best Song Ever" title is highly misleading'

A spokesman from Trading Standards has ordered the immediate ban of failure faced, zygote stains One Direction’s latest vacuous effort “Best Song Ever” on the grounds that the title is...

theinvisiblecitychannels 14.08.13 12:34pm
John Wiltshire
Cairo 'massacre' to be referred to as a 'LG product launch'

Diplomats in Washington were left in the unenviable position of finding a label for the murder of supporters of the deposed President Morsi. Having already defined Egypt's Military Coup D’Etat as...

Wrenfoe 14.08.13 11:42am
Cricketers threaten Boycott

In Durham Bar last night former Yorkshire and England was threaten by several helmeted players. The incident took place in the Gazza Arms in the high street and it was rumoured a well know spin...

Scronnyglonkle 14.08.13 11:23am
'Love Me Tender' played at cannibal victim's funeral 2
sydalg 14.08.13 11:22am
Queues to leave the Isle of Wight “normal” say police

Queues, some of them seven or eight cars long are forming at ports across the Isle of Wight as islanders insist they wish to remain British, and port authorities delay departures “while they look...

nickb 14.08.13 10:49am
Near-death experiences 'due to watching Saturday evening television'

Scientists investigating near-death phenomena such as seeing bright lights and hearing voices have realised that this always occurs when the subjects are watching Saturday evening television....

John Wiltshire 14.08.13 10:06am
John Wiltshire
Wheelwrights upset about demarcation claims spokesman 0
Smart Alex 14.08.13 9:30am
Smart Alex
Diet book causes crime spree in Nordic country.

Diet book causes crime spree in Nordic country. Norway’s standing as a peaceful and low crime country, has taken a severe hit after a new diet crazes has hit the country. The book “steel what...

p and k inc 14.08.13 9:29am
p and k inc
Tesco self-scan machine develops consciousness

There was excitement at a Haslemere branch of Tesco Local yesterday when one of its self-scan machines exhibited signs of heightened awareness and began communicating with shoppers. ‘For a few...

Ludicity 14.08.13 8:54am
Pigs spotted flying over Lima Airport 0
Drylaw 14.08.13 8:16am