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Next Chelsea manager to be 14 year old schoolboy 0
Leeboy007 3 years

more to follow...

Scientist confirms Ashley Cole is 'a cunt' 0
Leeboy007 3 years

more to follow...

America to clone Bin Laden and put him on trial 5
Ludicity 3 years

The American government has confirmed that they intend to clone a new version of Osama bin Laden who will be made to stand trial, be found guilty and then executed all over again. ‘Many people...

OFT joins with feline protectionists to urge for closure of 0
antharrison 3 years
Sentences reduced full stop. 1
MADJEZ 3 years
New Tory Policy Re Cutting Cost of Unemployment 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

'Let them eat chips.'...

Economic crisis, unpopular austerity package cause fresh riots in Ancient Greece 8
pthr 3 years

According to reports from Twitter, Athens has witnessed yet another wave of civil unrest. The clashes started at lunch time, intensified throughout the afternoon, then died down at around 10 pm over...

Criminals angry to hear the Catalogue of Crime no longer offers 50% off 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Ryanair defends use of 'sky oars' in new sub-economy 'Galley' class 10
3 years

Ryanair have robustly defended the introduction of 'sky oars' in their new sub-economy class. Each oar is operated by a row of three passengers and the designer, Patrick from Marketing, thinks they...

Financial crisis deepens over collapse of Geek economy 2
FraserWords 3 years

Europe’s finances today remained deeply troubled over the collapse of the Geek economy., Decades of over-investment in internet pornography sites have left the Geeks catastrophically in debt and...

Census Hack Blamed on Boba Fett 0
3 years

Members of the Rebel Alliance strongly suspect that their identities have been compromised by the Dark Side, following today's cyber attack on the 2011 Census. Boba Fett, a freelance security...

Labour criticise government for not doing something they said they shouldn't do 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

What's that all about? 'we're going to do this', 'that's a terrible idea, you shouldn't do that, it'll never work', 'actually, we've given it some more thought and decided not to do it',...

Study finds 90% of people see themselves as above average 3
Dumbnews 3 years

Not really a joke, but an actual study...

Australia to deport more 'convict' Brits to UK 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

Following the extradition of one of Australia’s most notorious rapists to the UK the British government is now bracing itself for a massive influx of people with ancestral links to convicts....

Child dumps toy for being "too needy" 0
Re Pete 3 years

Rumours spread like wildfire around St Anselm’s nursery school that four-year-old Gracie Parker had suddenly ended her relationship with Mr Paws, a Fisher Price interactive cuddly fun puppy,...

Government to ban inappropriate clothing for middle aged women 11
ermintrude 3 years

The coalition today announced a policy to stop the sales of inappropriate clothing to more mature ladies. A spokesman said the Home Office will lay a new "Mutton Dressed as Lamb" bill before...

Coalition to introduce community justice 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron has announced that the government is doing away with courts altogether, and introducing the concept of community justice., 'If the public don't like what we're doing,' he said, 'they...

Cameron Calls Prince Phillip 'A Remarkable Man.' 0
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Er, want to do a flip-flop on that remark, Dave?...

Short sentences dropped... 1
be reasonable 3 years
JUST IN! DLT to take out stalker injunction against Sue Key 0
Leeboy007 3 years
A Correction : Sue Key of Burnham is a big fan of DLT. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Kia dealer in divorce battle after wife catches him spreading his cee'd 15
wallster 3 years
"Shoplifting okay if it's something you really, really want", claims vicar 1
butagirl 3 years
DJ Dave Lee Travis reveals Sui Kyi lifeline 1
Basil_B 3 years

Former Radio 1 and BBC world service DJ Dave Lee Travis revealed today that he owed the longevity of his career to Burmese freedom fighter Sui Kyi., 'Since I threw my teddy out in my on air rant and...

Hundreds of stories go into climax as thunderstorms finally hit Britain 6
ronseal 3 years

Britain's recent unprecedented dry spell, which delayed thousands of dramas up and down the country from moving to a climax of dramatic tension, finally broke yesterday, as hundreds of protaganists...

NHS turns to cloud computing to deliver patient records to crims faster 0
ronseal 3 years
Jackass stars' 100mph fastest stranglewank attempt 'a complete success' 2
The Return of DroleNoel 3 years

Well, it's been a while...

Suicide bombers set to strike over pension plans 2
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Ayman al-Zawahiri is facing his first crisis as the new leader of Al-Qaeda after the National Union of Martyrs announced that suicide bombers will be going on strike due to the ongoing row over...

Glastonbury mud to be 'replaced by carpet'. 0
Leeboy007 3 years

Glastonbury festival organiser Michael Eavis has stunned the music world by announcing that he will be carpeting over his fields to eradicate the mud problem this year. "Every year people moan and...

Dave Lee Travis supports Burmese freedom fighter 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

I don't usually see the point of posting things from the internet on here - but this struck me as beyond the realms of the surreal:...