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Cardboard Cop Nicked A cardboard policeman used as a crime prevention aid has been stolen from a supermarket. The six-foot tall life-size...

custard cream 02.10.12 11:03am
custard cream
At last James Taylor arrives in Carolina

After feeling the sun shine and seeing the moon shine for 50 years, James Taylor finally arrives physically in Carolina...

sbegmeister 02.10.12 10:55am
I knew there was

something not quite right about Jimmy Saville after going to one of his dinner partys and after the wine and a four coarse meal,he began around under eights....

Dave Grigger 02.10.12 10:41am
Dave Grigger
Cameron congratulates Ryder Cup golfing heroes

Though he's always pleased when Europe is in a hole...

Nick Parry 02.10.12 10:36am
Nick Parry
Pool Table Photographed Naked With Prince Harry

In yet another blow to their reputation, news has leaked out that a pool table was photographed on a camera-phone in a state of undress next to Prince Harry. The pool table in question was...

stumajestic 02.10.12 10:29am
Im the ghost of Jimmy Saville

I advertised train travel, and road safety,cunt clit every trip, my murky past has started to unravel, Im Jimll fix it, I lured kiddies to my dressing room with a chocalate biscuit...

Dave Grigger 02.10.12 10:27am
Dave Grigger
Litter bin confounds Aberdeen man Firefighters were called out to rescue a man whose head was stuck in a public litter bin in Justice Street, Aberdeen....

custard cream 02.10.12 10:26am
Breaking news: Bono finds what he was looking for

"I hid it for a joke," the Edge confesses...

pdavies65 02.10.12 10:25am
Tory Health Minister...

says it's 'appalling' that old people have to go abroad to die. When with winter coming, they can freeze to death in their own house...

Nick Parry 02.10.12 10:22am
Nick Parry
Now then now then

guys and gals,but mainly young galsrealy young gals...

Dave Grigger 02.10.12 10:13am
Dave Grigger
Ski holidays 'a slippery slope', study reveals 0
pdavies65 02.10.12 10:12am
Suicide bombers: what makes them tick? 0
pdavies65 02.10.12 10:09am
'He needs his head examining', claims lawyer for Abu Hamza

yes, in the US ...

medici2471 02.10.12 9:58am
Don Corleone makes special offer after being diagnosed with Down's Syndrome 0
jamsieoconnor 02.10.12 9:55am
'We won't really miss him' say family of dead teen

Dwayne Meany was an unpopular introverted loser. There's no facebook tribute or glowing tweets to mark his passing. Only a pile of empty lager cans marks the spot where he tragically slipped on a...

vertical 02.10.12 9:52am
"Saville was like a father figure, he invited me to 'come on top of the Pops'" 9
Perks 02.10.12 9:50am
Mexican dentist denies buy 1 get 1 free special offer; "I said 'tooth for Juan'"

Sombrero, poncho, umscarf...

Perks 02.10.12 9:01am
Terry Johnson, 4, put on naughty step after "smelly poo-head" slur

The trial of Terry Johnson. aged 4, began at Little Scamps Nursery in Nuneaton this afternoon after an alleged name calling incident during a game of "tag" earlier this morning. An unnamed member of...

LittleSpender 02.10.12 8:59am
NZ scientists remove women from baby feeding

A team of scientists in New Zealand have created “low allergy” GM cow’s milk that finally solves the literally decades-long problem of how to ensure all babies can get the second-best food...

Sir Lupus 02.10.12 8:46am
Sir Lupus
Megan wins erotic fiction award for essay, ‘What we did on our holidays’... 2
Tripod 02.10.12 8:40am
Badgers usurped as Ed Miliband gives TB to all those not at university

Infection soon...

acwanaut 02.10.12 8:30am
Milliband on Education :"Everyone must be special, so no one is"

The labour leader's intent to introduce a new technical baccalaureate for the 50% of school leavers who do not go on to university has drawn the following statement from Dr. Edward Jones, Spokesman...

FlashArry 02.10.12 8:19am
IKEA Christmas cards to feature Joseph as single parent 0
Sir Lupus 02.10.12 8:15am
Sir Lupus
Figures for something or other fall 1.4%. Some people are concerned... 0
Tripod 02.10.12 8:03am
Stained Shell Suits Scrutinised In Savile Row 0
pinxit 02.10.12 7:39am
Balls up in the polls shows Balls up in the polls 0
nickb 02.10.12 7:18am
Relief as moronic cries of ‘In The Hole’ fail to land Ryder Cup for US

The world of sport breathed a huge collective sigh of relief at the Ryder Cup result last night after it was shown that shouting ‘Get In The Hole’ at a golf ball after it has been struck...

Midfield Diamond 01.10.12 9:47pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Lab Conference Special Offer: Buy one 4G network, get 100,00 starter homes free. 0
Boutros 01.10.12 9:23pm
Golf trousers to become "more special" 0
nickb 01.10.12 9:20pm
More anxiety for Mars Curiosity mission control team

The communications team were dismayed to hear unauthorised transmissions from the martian surface today. "Warning, Will Robinson .." and "I'm afraid I can't open the pod bay door Dave" were some of...

misterjingles 01.10.12 9:00pm