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Doreen Lawrence claims "Judge's hands were tied"; Max Mosley denies involvement. 0
reforse 04.01.12 5:58pm
New hybrid shark offers greater fuel efficiency

A new species of shark recently launched off the coast of Western Australia is claimed to be the first true hybrid shark, combining both a traditional meat-digesting enzyme system and battery-backed...

bonjonelson 05.01.12 12:53am
Bottles of wine found in bin 2
medici2471 04.01.12 9:50pm
2012 Olympics. Synchronised swimming tickets oversold

Thousands of ticket-holders have been offered tickets to pole-dancing clubs instead. "If anyone is really aggrieved, a limited number of tickets to lap-dancing clubs are available", a spokeswoman...

Tammy Flugh 04.01.12 5:53pm
Lawrence killer's appeal will rest on toast in his underpants

One of the men yesterday given life sentences for the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence is to appeal on the grounds that fragments of toast found in his underpants prove he was at home on the night...

roybland 04.01.12 5:21pm
'Emotional' Colin Firth finally reunited with estranged brother Solway

[More soon]...

dicky37 04.01.12 7:03pm
The All New Jeni B
‘£3-a-month’ wildlife adoption woman overjoyed by reunion with polar bear

A woman who donated nearly £4 a month to the WWF spoke today of the heart-stopping moment when she was first introduced to her 800-pound polar bear. Jeanette Harper selflessly adopted the animal...

15.12.12 9:17pm
Captain Rick Santorum to feature in new Torchwood series 0
simonjmr 04.01.12 3:37pm
COBRA updates UK status to "Shooty" from "Stabby" after County Durham events 0
simonjmr 04.01.12 2:56pm
Branson to take "irony gamble" with Newcastle United-Virgin Money shirt deal.

Richard Branson has executed a startling u-turn after he initially poured water on hopes that Virgin may have become a major sponsor for Newcastle United following its relocation to the north. The...

SingingHinny 04.01.12 2:54pm
RSPCA voices concerns that schools are abusing animals in school concerts:REPOST

The RSPCA today has voiced concerns that Primary and Junior schools and resorting to animal abuse in their attempts to stage recitals and concerts. Due to budget cuts local authorities are urging...

simonjmr 02.03.12 10:17am
Number of Confused Percy Grainger Clones to Emerge From Cern LHC Reaches 100 0
thisisall1word 04.01.12 2:23pm
Man sues gypsy for ‘mis-sold lucky heather’

A man has this morning confirmed that he is taking a member of the Irish travelling community to court regarding what he believes to be a case of ‘mis-sold lucky heather’. Gareth Ramirez, a...

kimllfixit 04.01.12 4:23pm
More Horrifying Sequel To Thatcher Film, Soon To Be Released......

.."Thatcherism, Wasted Lives And Dave's Mates - The (W)Bankers."...

Jesse Bigg 04.01.12 2:09pm
Jesse Bigg
Wheelchair menace threatens Midlands city

The Chief Constable of Nottingham today appealed to the Government for additional funding to tackle the growing threat of motorised wheelchair and disabled scooter gangs. “The city centre is...

Major Clanger 13.02.12 1:04pm
Major Clanger
Berlusconi claims ownership of Roman brothel token found in Thames. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 04.01.12 1:13pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Minstrel on South Pole solo cycling bid admits having large black-up team 0
cinquecento 04.01.12 1:07pm
Head Sturgeon's warnings over seafood diet deemed 'fishy'. 2
Worth 04.01.12 10:27pm
Kenny Dalglish defends Stephen Lawrence's killers

After being found guilty of the racist murder of Stephen Lawrence 18 years ago, Gary Dobson and David Norris have found an unlikely ally in the form of Liverpool manager Kenny Dalglish. ‘It’s...

Vertically Challenged Giant 05.01.12 9:48am
Vertically Challenged Giant
When J Edgar Met J Arthur – new bio-pic angers UK and US critics.

One was an American crime busting superhero, synonymous with clean living and domestic suction. The other was a British movie mogul and heir to a flour milling empire, who became known to millions...

nickb 17.01.12 2:57pm
Intelligent machines close to developing capacity for low self esteem

Intelligent machines may soon have the ability to wonder why they bother as scientists come close to reproducing the human genome for esteem. "We've already got intelligent machines. But the self...

ronseal 09.01.12 1:01pm
David Cameron is morphing into Richard Nixon.

First the hairline, then the credibility gap, now the rapidly developing jowls and profuse sweating. More invited...

miked10270 06.01.12 9:51pm
Jesse Bigg
Police to examine whether they are “institutionally stupid”

It has been a difficult week for the police force. First came the news that police officers were handing back guns to mentally unstable people “as part of a weapons amnesty”. Then the leaked...

nickb 04.01.12 11:06am
BHF campaigns to make life saving look less gay

A spokesperson for the British Heart Foundation said “it’s a terrible shame, but dozens of men die needlessly each year because other men won’t perform CPR out of fear they may look like they...

Newsquelch 05.01.12 10:32am
Lonely Heart requests 'no kissing, just hard CPR' 1
charlies_hat 04.01.12 10:29am
Andy Gray and Sergio Berlusconi to replace Alesha Dixon as strictly Judges. 0
godly1966 04.01.12 9:42am
Loch Ness is giant spirit level, Customs and Excise admit. 0
Griffin 04.01.12 7:33am
Graham Norton-Holmes and The Strange Incident at the British Museum

It was one of those blustery grey February afternoons where London was weary from an interminable winter. Arch-sleuth, Graham Norton-Norton-Holmes was dozing by a blazing fire after a solid lunch of...

Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 9:28am
Poteen Plays Leading Role In Frustrated Love Story

Poteen Plays Leading Role, In Frustrated Love Story It was late on the night shift in the CAF – Cosmic Air Force – bunker deep in the Hampshire countryside. Star Fleet Commander Fitzwilliam...

Inigo Unsworth 04.01.12 12:22am
Inigo Unsworth
25 Million tune in to Freaky Eaters 'addicted to a balanced diet' special

A special episode of Freaky Eaters, broadcast on January 2nd, has attracted a staggering 25.6 million viewers making it the 4th most watched TV programme in UK history. This places it above the...

JonnyJP 04.01.12 12:35pm