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"£500,000 scant compensation for being made to dance like an idiot" says dog 0
Haywood Manley 14.05.12 8:23am
Haywood Manley
Sonic Weapons to be deployed at Olympics - Mario and Luigi on standby

A spokesperson for the MOD said,"Our main concern is to protect those golden rings". Earlier this month there was outrage when plans were revealed to place Donkey Kong and Diddy Kong on top of blocks...

Ian Searle 14.05.12 8:18am
Ian Searle
F.A. bans Joey Barton from Olympic Tae Kwando squad 0
Scronnyglonkle 14.05.12 8:18am
Lorne Spicer's voice to be deployed as 'sonic weapon' during Olympics 3
Haywood Manley 14.05.12 7:09am
Newsbiscuit disappears into alternative universe "to recycle old submissions".

More again soon...

Al OPecia 14.05.12 7:07am
Al OPecia
Neil Diamond Headlines Branson, MO Theatre but No one Cares

Branson, MO, USA Long time singer-songwriter Neil Diamond made, what his agent calls, "A triumphant comeback" to Branson's 2,500 seat Osmond Theatre, but the expected audience never materialized.,...

chrisjaybecker 14.05.12 2:54am
Man city Sheik Manchester with Allahst gasp title winner 0
tonylemesma 13.05.12 10:12pm
Haiti applies to compete in Eurovision Song Contest...

"We're at least as European as countries like Israel and Turkey", claims Haitian spokesperson...

Smart Alex 13.05.12 9:48pm
Smart Alex
Brooks denies "doing Charlie" at Chequers sleepover 0
nickb 13.05.12 8:58pm
Cameron doubtful re attending Olympic opening.....

as all depends on his skiving schedule...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:19pm
Jesse Bigg
Tory cuts hit London Olympics.....

starting gun - a blown up crisp packet...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 8:04pm
Jesse Bigg
Emergency aid shipment of sky blue shirts despatched to Surrey 0
Vertically Challenged Giant 13.05.12 7:58pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Malcolm X (Wise Head) Statue

to be unveiled soon...

Jesse Bigg 13.05.12 7:55pm
Jesse Bigg
Simon Cowell lures Pudsey away with dog biscuit and bottom sniffing deal

The cut-throat nature of show business was once again shown as Britain’s Got Talent boss Simon Cowell signed Pudsey the performing dog but not Pudsey’s fellow winner 17 year old Ashleigh Butler....

Yikes 13.05.12 7:53pm
Brain Blessed to understudy for Ian Paisley as Olympics' sonic weapon


dvo4fun 13.05.12 7:21pm
Mugging targets urged to carry more cash to avoid “social death”

It’s a nightmare scenario – to be violently robbed and murdered and then have the tabloids scream: “Socialite killed for 85p and a TV Guide.” Image consultant Jane Smith says such luridly...

Yikes 13.05.12 7:01pm
Surrey residents gutted their team came second in the Premiership. 0
MADJEZ 13.05.12 6:18pm
Lord Archer re-enters public life as Daily Mail fact checker

More follows...

apepper 13.05.12 5:58pm
Bookmakers install Manchester City as favourites for 2056 Premier League title 0
Mandy Lifeboat 13.05.12 5:27pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Bangla Desh government announces new austerity measures. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 1:30am
Greek President looking for a donor. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 1:26am
Metropolitan Police to outsource training to Taliban. 0
Maverick 13.05.12 12:55am
MP Begbie in Leveson furore

Lex Begbie, Labour MP for Dumbarton West and holder of the largest current parliamentary majority (65,000), took the oath and took the stand in front of the Leveson Inquiry today. Mr Begbie sipped a...

Drylaw 12.05.12 10:39pm
Dogs Officially Better Than Humans Says Public

Pudsey and your woman’s win in Saturday Night’s Britain’s Got Talent Live Final is proof than dogs are better than humans, was the verdict of animal lovers everywhere., Peta member Sharon...

Hooch 12.05.12 10:23pm
Michael Fish new heir to the throne

In a bizarre twist, Mr Charles Windsor (the weather forecaster formally known as Prince) has exchanged jobs with Michael Fish (now to be known as Prince Michael of Hurricane or, less formally, the...

apepper 12.05.12 10:19pm
Government scraps fighter plane order - buys exploding underpants instead. 0
deskpilot3 12.05.12 9:38pm
Critics pan new Greek drachma for poor direction and lack of leading man 0
charlies_hat 12.05.12 7:47pm
Too many actors employed as Singing In The Rain remake is "overcast" 0
seymour totti 12.05.12 7:30pm
seymour totti
Lapdancer stripped of pole position

Yeah, I do one-liners as well...

Gary Stanton 12.05.12 7:10pm
Gary Stanton
Jeremy Hunt "has to resign three times"

Culture secretary has thrown government lawyers into chaos. A number 10 source said, "Technically, he should resign at least three times, maybe four. It's difficult to see how that's going to...

apepper 12.05.12 5:43pm