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Cave Girl Cutie Wows Boffins

Scientists examining the 80,000 year old DNA belonging to the body of a girl found in Siberia's Denisova cave have discovered interesting facts about her life. "She was really hot" says Nobel...

6
Denis Dijon 01.09.12 7:12pm
rikkor
Lead thief targets pet shop 0
Perks 01.09.12 7:00pm
Perks
One-eyed metal thief targets church

Budleigh Salterton's parish church has suffered a spate of metal thefts over the past twelve months. In the latest incident on Sunday night, a one-eyed intruder was spotted on the roof of the church...

3
Dick Everyman 01.09.12 6:57pm
Dick Everyman
Celebrity who most thought dead, dead 2
simonjmr 01.09.12 6:38pm
dvo4fun
Catholic Church '200 years of behind', says Cardinal 0
Midnight Dreary 01.09.12 6:20pm
Midnight Dreary
'Empty chair has potential to become next US President’ insists Eastwood

In a speech at the Republican party’s national convention, US Presidential candidate Mitt Romney has promised the American people he would invade at least one oil-rich country during his first term...

2
Gerontius 01.09.12 5:10pm
Lucy4
Savile/Bygraves clash a step nearer fruition 0
Drylaw 01.09.12 4:39pm
Drylaw
Bye bye Bygraves as Bygraves' buy Bygraves' gravestone. 0
Haywood Manley 01.09.12 3:03pm
Haywood Manley
Gruenenthal apologises all the way to the bank. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 01.09.12 1:25pm
dominic_mcg
Hollywood legend unveils new ventriloquist act

"Go ahead gunk, gake guy gay." With this iconic phrase from his movie 'Girty Garry', elderly film-star Clint Eastwood introduced the Republican National Convention to his imaginary friend, 'Garack',...

1
pinxit 01.09.12 1:03pm
JohnA
Wettest August on record blamed on Fifty Shades of Grey 5
LittleSpender 01.09.12 12:59pm
JohnA
Particle physics “all made up” admit boffins

Scientists everywhere have been left red faced today as it has been revealed that the whole standard model theory of particle physics is entirely fictional. For years, billions of pounds has been...

5
grottymonty 01.09.12 12:56pm
JohnA
,Conservative Comedian Wins BBC Commission

It's just been confirmed that Conservative stand up comedian, Tarquin Twonk has been commissioned by the BBC to produce a six part television series showcasing his unique brand of right wing comedy....

2
Martin Shuttlecock 01.09.12 11:10am
Martin Shuttlecock
Fears for Pietersen's sanity as he holds talks with flower

Cricket fans expressed concerns for the mental state of disgruntled South African England player Kevin Pietersen when he tweeted a photo of himself in heart-to-heart talks with a lotus blossom....

1
pinxit 01.09.12 10:52am
JohnA
Summer Politics - wettest since 1912.

More damp squibs soon...

0
deskpilot3 01.09.12 10:05am
deskpilot3
Osborne demands review of his GCSE Economic D grade...

although it was Vince Cable who actually sat the exam...

0
deskpilot3 01.09.12 10:02am
deskpilot3
Assad in pigeon crackdown after rumours of military coo 0
cinquecento 01.09.12 9:01am
cinquecento
US Republican National Convention declared most pointless event of 2012 0
thesilverflute 01.09.12 4:08am
thesilverflute
Impoverished porn star tired of hand to mouth existence 1
Ironduke 31.08.12 10:50pm
rikkor
British Chambers of Commerce and Industry downgrade 2012 forecast to "Oh fuck"

More economics news later...

2
grottymonty 31.08.12 8:57pm
Squudge
Thieving Russian less credible witness than thieving Russian claims judge. 2
MADJEZ 31.08.12 7:53pm
cinquecento
Incompetent public schoolboys still ruining UK economy

Voters are perplexed as to why they voted in incompetent public schoolboys to ruin the UK economy, then they realised it was to get rid of Gordon Brown, so now don’t feel quite so bad. Onto...

0
Reg Herring 31.08.12 7:12pm
Reg Herring
Poorer Indian women advised to keep a painting of their vagina in the attic

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-india-19353039...

17
charlies_hat 31.08.12 6:25pm
Scroat
Government fears able-bodied backlash in wake of Paralympics

There were Government fears today that increased publicity given to Paralympians and others with disabilities will leave able-bodied people feeling persecuted and marginalised. The Paralympic...

1
Scroat 31.08.12 5:53pm
Scroat
Strauss and Pietersen hold 'chillaxed' talks.

England captain Andrew Strauss held ‘pipe of peace’ talks with Kevin Pietersen at a secret location today to try and resolve the current dispute between the pair....

7
pinxit 31.08.12 5:36pm
pinxit
Paralympic partially sighted archery contest 'not selling well' 4
Oxbridge 31.08.12 4:25pm
Screenie
BBC's 'Spanish firefighters battle blaze' headline tops 'well, yeah' list 0
Screenie 31.08.12 4:00pm
Screenie
Clint Eastwood to star in 'A Few Dollars Short (of a a Fistful)' 0
Skylarking 31.08.12 3:53pm
Skylarking
QPR sign two doctors to clear backlog of medicals before transfer window closes 0
grottymonty 31.08.12 2:33pm
grottymonty
Judge in Berezovsky trial complains of 'funny aftertaste' in post trial tea. 0
MADJEZ 31.08.12 12:42pm
MADJEZ