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Ark builders hit by drought

Ark manufacturers across southern Britain say orders are drying up as drought conditions spread. 'If Noah was alive today,' said John Woods, who has run the family ark building business for three...

0
roybland 17.04.12 7:23pm
roybland
Dim-witted racist Anders Breivik gives Black-Power salute to court.

http://news.sky.com/sky-news/content/StaticFile/jpg/2012/Apr/Week3/16209391.jpg...

4
MADJEZ 17.04.12 7:22pm
arthurminnit
Fracking hell, what was that!

Residents in Upper Bigglewade, Lanchashire, ran from their homes in terror as an earthquake rattled their village early this morning. The earh tremors, which measured 5.6 on the richter scale and...

0
stevebrdfd 17.04.12 6:27pm
stevebrdfd
Pork scratchings may be the result of pork itchings, warns health watchdog 0
nickb 17.04.12 5:08pm
nickb
General Synod in chaos as actress applies to be bishop

The Church of England general synod has been forced to hold an emergency meeting to determine how to respond the request of a well known actress be become a bishop. "When we considered the ordination...

3
apepper 17.04.12 5:08pm
allmyownstunts
Train driver who overshot station by 2 miles is to train as Easyjet pilot. 0
dominic_mcg 17.04.12 4:39pm
dominic_mcg
"Coalition is working well" Cameron tells Clegg. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 17.04.12 4:35pm
dominic_mcg
Actress still not on speaking terms with Bishop

Hopes of a rapprochement between the worlds of religion and entertainment were dashed last night after the Actress announced a formal cessation of goodwill with the Bishop. Relations between the two...

3
Midnight Dreary 17.04.12 4:08pm
yens123
UK to offer Argentina Falklands deal

In a dramatic development to the on-going row over ownership of the Falkland Islands, the British Government has offered a sovereignty swop deal - the Falklands for Lionel Messi. A source close to...

0
yens123 17.04.12 4:00pm
yens123
Scrabble player who fainted during record attempt says "It's all just a blank" 0
Nails UK 17.04.12 3:34pm
Nails UK
Microsoft goes silent in Windows 8

The next incarnation of the Worlds most used operating system will only be available in two versions, Windows 8 ME (Mute Edition) and Window2 8 RT (for mobile devices), Microsoft announced earlier...

1
The Tall Man 17.04.12 3:33pm
pere floza
Sir Bruce Keogh: "Nightime discharges are a sticky issue"

I warned you...

0
beau-jolly 17.04.12 3:26pm
beau-jolly
Dyslexic Mexicans left underwhelmed by annual Glen Dimplex Fan heater expo 0
Iamthestig 17.04.12 2:43pm
Iamthestig
Aquascutum, "had nothing put aside for a rainy day" 0
beau-jolly 17.04.12 2:22pm
beau-jolly
Aquascutum goes under 0
medici2471 17.04.12 2:00pm
medici2471
Ford Mondeo owner to trace FSH on next episode of "Who do you think you are?" 1
Iamthestig 17.04.12 1:55pm
cinquecento
Actress denies she bashed the Bishop 0
Iamthestig 17.04.12 12:59pm
Iamthestig
Bishop and actress 'couldn't keep it up any longer'

In what is seen as a 'big blow' for celebrity watchers, The Right Reverend Geoffrey Turnbull, Bishop of Norwich, and former Hollyoaks actress Gemma Waterson have announced that their relationship has...

6
Oxbridge 17.04.12 12:47pm
Rootin Tootin
‘Death curse’ Grand National sweepstake entrant strikes again

It has been revealed that Pete Jenkins, the country’s unluckiest sweepstake contestant, struck again at Saturday’s Grand National. Mr Jenkins, an accounts clerk from Basingstoke, has now...

6
Midfield Diamond 17.04.12 12:09pm
Midfield Diamond
BBC to broadcast controversial Antiques Roadshow ‘Titanic’ special

The BBC have been accused of a lack of taste over plans to broadcast a commemorative edition of the Antiques Road Show featuring quality items pillaged from the Titanic. The corporation have sought...

4
Gary Stanton 17.04.12 11:55am
rickwestwell
'Holiday in Britain' adverts revealed as an attempt at solving drought

A recent advertising campaign designed to encourage Brits to holiday at home has been exposed as an attempt to resolve the drought. Professor Ahmed Kamil has been Head of Tempting Fate at Middlesex...

2
kimllfixit 17.04.12 11:54am
kimllfixit
The final £413m Mega Millions Winner named - Lucky B*****d 0
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:49am
Ian Searle
Footballer forced to play FA Cup match in his underwear after he forgets his kit 0
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:45am
Ian Searle
"Big Society" to be downsized, says Cameron.

Prime Minister David Cameron announced earlier today that research had shown that the Coalition's flagship Big Society initiative had expanded to an unexpectedly large and unsustainable size. "We...

1
Mick99 17.04.12 11:38am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Tube workers set to go on strike - Government advise us to stockpile Smarties 0
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:37am
Ian Searle
Scientist say Tweets tell us people are happy at Xmas - still no cure for Cancer 1
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:27am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Scientists studying Tweets find people can only communicate in 140 characters 0
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:22am
Ian Searle
As UK Economy picks up Tena Lady now worth Elevena against the Eruo 0
Ian Searle 17.04.12 11:20am
Ian Searle
New Windows 8 to taste of three Flavours "Despair, Bitter Defeat & Despondency" 0
Scronnyglonkle 17.04.12 11:18am
Scronnyglonkle
Big Jump In Postage Stamps? Have No Fear....

.As pigeon fanciers set up their "Pigeon Splat" service., One in the eye of the Post Office, no doubt...

0
Jesse Bigg 17.04.12 11:02am
Jesse Bigg