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Government Insist Deer Cull Essential To Protect Our Pensioners

The Government have today announced plans for a nationwide cull of deer. The move, set to anger environmental groups, has been described as essential to protect pensioners and ensure free passage of...

Deimos 07.03.13 2:18pm
Pope Benedict to have falabillity phased in

As Pope Benedict prepares to hand in his cassock and keys to the popemobile next week Vatican officials have reveled that the soon to be ex-pontiff will not loose his special infalabillity powers...

Scronnyglonkle 07.03.13 2:17pm
Bonnie Tyler Decides to Eclipse Her Career by Singing in Eurovision Contest. 2
Titus 07.03.13 1:53pm
Bonnie Tyler promised a mars for Eurovision but she's holding out for a hero.

is this the first of many bad Bonnie Tyler puns in the pipeline ?...

Not Amused 07.03.13 1:34pm
Solar Panel Owners To Enjoy More Daylight After Clocks Change.

- but still call for all-year Double-Summer-Time...

Titus 07.03.13 1:31pm
Warped Acrostic Nerd Knew Exams Routine 2
custard cream 07.03.13 1:24pm
Ferguson's head finally explodes when told "it's only a game"

Squudge 07.03.13 12:22pm
Dick Everyman
Angry UK solar panel owners count the cost of partial eclipse

Owners of photovoltaic (solar) panels across the country awoke this morning to find that insolation - the amount of solar energy reaching their panels - was down as much as 75% on what could be...

ゴルゴ13 07.03.13 12:20pm
Bacon health scare sparks increase in depressive illness

More full English soon...

Scroat 07.03.13 12:06pm
People who make healthy lifestyle choices more likely to die of boredom.

Study details to follow...

cueball 07.03.13 11:11am
TESCO to sponsor proposed deer cull

[corrected typo]...

Sinnick 07.03.13 10:12am
UKIP peer calls for end of unelected government from EU

Not very funny but I did hear something very much like that yesterday. With no apparent sense of irony...

dvo4fun 07.03.13 10:11am
Syrian family man wins 1m refugee prize

A Syrian man was celebrating last night after being declared the one millionth refugee to flee the conflict devastating his country., Not only was the man awarded the prize for reaching the...

Gerontius 07.03.13 9:53am
Des Custard
Daw Mill miners fired 0
medici2471 07.03.13 9:43am
Processed meat responsible for the early death of pigs, cattle and some horses. 0
weematt 07.03.13 9:40am
European immigrants “attracted to UK by our horse-based cuisine”... 0
Tripod 07.03.13 9:18am
Queen orders Vindaloo takeaway as visit to Cardiff draws near 1
sydalg 07.03.13 8:51am
Shortsighted man with big and small TVs advised to 'look at the bigger picture' 0
blacklesbianandproudofit 07.03.13 8:20am
Kate's teddy bear gaffe: I'll take that for my dork of a husband 0
Drylaw 07.03.13 12:12am
Bieber late because mum made him eat everything up 2
Drylaw 07.03.13 12:06am
"At least when Chavez gets ill he means it", wails Charles 1
sydalg 06.03.13 11:10pm
Thatcher statue plan gets 'big bronze V-sign'

A plan to erect a statue of Baroness Thatcher in her home town of Grantham has been greeted with stony-faced disapproval by most of the UK's statuary. The statue of Winston Churchill in Parliament...

roybland 06.03.13 10:01pm
'Warning - this vehicle is reversing' hits millionth download and goes viral

A vehicle reversing warning has just clocked-up 1m iTunes downloads and has gone viral on the Internet. 'Warning - this vehicle is reversing' is being hailed as the new Gangnam Style and has already...

roybland 06.03.13 9:31pm
An Idiot's Guide to the Papal Election

For the next few days all eyes will be on Rome as cardinals from across the world gather in the Sistine Chapel to elect from their number a new Bishop of Rome otherwise known as the Pope. This...

Carter 06.03.13 8:58pm
Newcastle nurse fed up with being called 'Angel of the North' 0
custard cream 06.03.13 8:46pm
custard cream
Kate hinting at baby name 'Diana' blamed for Royal Pukeathon 2
Squudge 06.03.13 8:45pm
rob box
Slip of tongue as Kate reveals baby to be "reptilian overlord"

The Duchess of Cambridge may have inadvertently let slip that the new royal baby is going to be a female reptilian alien. She was out shopping for a baby suit to fit a 10 foot tall lizard when...

apepper 06.03.13 7:39pm
Scotland Yard chef who overdid the seasoning charged with wasting police thyme 1
blacklesbianandproudofit 06.03.13 7:14pm
rob box
Monasteries unexpectedly raise entrance requirement. 0
the coarse whisperer 06.03.13 7:02pm
the coarse whisperer
Buckingham Palace reveal Prince Charles Mothers Day Dinner menu

Prince Charles is to host a get well/mothers day banquet for the Queen. Sadly for Prince Charles he will unable to join in the dinner as he has tooth ache MENU Starter Freash unwashed Bay of...

Scronnyglonkle 06.03.13 7:00pm
sponge finger