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Gordon Brown wishes Andy Murray luck in “staying British”

using them all up while I still can :)...

0
Yikes 07.07.12 10:37pm
Yikes
Brit with vowel problem wins Wimbledon final

Marray (English) wins the mens doubles...

0
Iscariot 07.07.12 10:17pm
Iscariot
.

withdrawn to avoid embarrasement of fifth consecutive no stars no comment post. bye...

9
Mandy Lifeboat 07.07.12 10:10pm
bonjonelson
Shades of Grey Paint Boss Baffled by Customer Demand

Colin Grey, managing director of Bradford paint manufacturer Shades of Grey, has found the firm’s latest catalogue to be surprisingly popular. “Naturally we’re very proud of our range of...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 07.07.12 9:26pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Shades of Grey Paint Boss Baffled by Customer Demand

Colin Grey, managing director of Bradford paint manufacturer Shades of Grey, has found the firm’s latest catalogue to be surprisingly popular. “Naturally we’re very proud of our range of...

0
Iggy Pop-Barker 07.07.12 9:25pm
Iggy Pop-Barker
Following seafood dinner, Martin Luther King tells reporters, "I had a bream" 2
Smart Alex 07.07.12 6:25pm
SpankyMonkey
Foreigner wins Wimbledon.

A humourless foreign man (insert name as appropriate) from a beautiful mountainous land populated by surly, insular people will win the Wimbledon tennis championship tomorrow. The man, famous for...

3
Thor 07.07.12 4:55pm
Thor
George Osborne working on a Mona Lisa smile

Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne is practising a Mona Lisa smile to court popularity after a series of U-turns following his March Budget. Osborne's recent clash with Ed Balls at Prime...

0
roybland 07.07.12 4:19pm
roybland
Agronomists puzzled by surge in sales of Defra manual, Fifty Grades of Hay 1
V Riddoch 07.07.12 4:02pm
JohnA
Scottish Independence to be decided on Centre Court 1
Ironduke 07.07.12 2:52pm
Ironduke
Olympic torch bearers issued with new 'British Summer' clothing.

After complaints from runners and their Police escorts about doing the relay in shorts and t-shirts Olympic organisers have been forced to issue more suitable clothing....

3
MADJEZ 07.07.12 2:27pm
Gerontius
Isle of Wight councillors to get Psion Organisers. 0
nickb 07.07.12 1:01pm
nickb
Accusations of dumbing down as Olympics introduce "It's a knockout" events

Sebastian Coe has defended the decision of the UK Olympic board to insist that athletic finalists dress as national vegetables for their races. Speaking in a moose costume, Lord Coe explained: "We...

2
apepper 07.07.12 12:57pm
apepper
Santander British Grand Prix - Sponsored by the EU bailout fund. 0
MADJEZ 07.07.12 11:49am
MADJEZ
"I love Barclays tattooed on Diamond's penis" claim

A leaked expenses slip this week revealed that former Barclays chief Bob Diamond had the tattoo job done at an exclusive City parlour. Friends and former colleagues were keeping a low profile today,...

4
Scroat 07.07.12 11:19am
Scroat
Commercial space launch delayed by row over cabin crew support tights.

Female cabin crew working for Richard Branson have refused to wear support tights in space, prompting fears that the first commercial space flights could be delayed for months if not years. ...

0
nickb 07.07.12 10:31am
nickb
F1 Dilemma: Will McLaren Switch Button From Wets To 'Jets'?

McLaren engineers played a surprise 'ace' this morning and revealed that Jenson Button could be on revolutionary 'Jet Ski' tyres for Sunday's British Grand Prix. With waterlogged Silverstone awash...

2
07.07.12 10:28am
C4 Wales launches "Strictly" rival "Cwm Dancing". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 07.07.12 10:09am
Al OPecia
Gay Bolt are two athletes, not an insult Olympic report confirms 0
custard cream 07.07.12 9:49am
custard cream
Western Europe's largest phallic symbol 'The Shard 'n' Freud' opened 8
Skylarking 07.07.12 9:46am
Yikes
Barclays CEO rescues six kittens from a bin; takes them to kid’s cancer ward

“It’s what anyone would do” said Barclays CEO Bob Diamond after leaping in front of a rubbish truck to save six kittens discarded in a bin. “It was lucky I was out there sorting my recycling...

13
Yikes 07.07.12 9:33am
custard cream
Al Qaeda claims "operation drain block" a total success. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 07.07.12 9:17am
dominic_mcg
Scottish opposition routed as Murray and Federer reach Wimbledon final

British player Andy Murray and Swiss maestro Roger Federer will contest the Wimbledon final after having easy wins against Scottish players Novak Djokovic and Jo-Wilfried Tsonga in the semi-finals....

1
Yikes 07.07.12 8:47am
Golgo13
Federer promises to "do his bit" for Scottish Independence 0
bonjonelson 07.07.12 8:39am
bonjonelson
Libor to be renamed Lie-Bar.

More soon. Bit late, I've been busy...

0
MADJEZ 07.07.12 7:05am
MADJEZ
English girl's pet Scot through to Wimbledon final 0
06.07.12 10:27pm
George W. Bush Accepts Position As Court Jester For Obama Cabinet 0
06.07.12 9:33pm
Fifty shades of grey published in pop-up version

More to follow...

0
apepper 06.07.12 9:33pm
apepper
George W. Bush Accepts Position As Court Jester For Obama Cabinet

George W. was accepted on as the official court Jester for the Obama cabinet today. Appearing before the assembled advisers for the first time, W. had them suppressing giggles as soon as he opened...

0
06.07.12 9:31pm
Murray pleased for Marray 0
custard cream 06.07.12 9:10pm
custard cream