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Santa Claus "must be seeking work for 3 months" before he can claim benefits. 0
Al OPecia 22.12.13 6:52pm
Al OPecia
Omo shortage looms as shepherds indulge in orgy of sock washing. 0
Maverick 22.12.13 6:02pm
Guardian decides not to publish everyone's Incognito browsing history after all

The world let out an enormous sigh of relief today as Guardian editor Alan Rusbridger announced publicly that the paper has decided against publishing everyone's browsing history on Google Chrome's...

D 22.12.13 5:40pm
Joseph & Mary Post Poor Feedback For Bethlehem Inn On TripAdvisor

"Squalid accommodation, and we were continually disturbed by intrusions from members of the public...

Titus 22.12.13 5:29pm
Shoppers asked to remove shoes before entering M & S

novelty "pigs in prayer mats" idea put on hold...

A.A.Arkwright 22.12.13 3:10pm
Nigella becomes the New Face of Cocaine as Columbian cartel drops Abbey Clancy. 0
MADJEZ 22.12.13 2:07pm
Old fart posts duplicate post. Gets away with it. 0
MADJEZ 22.12.13 2:06pm
Rivers of Blood fear as immigration restriction is lifted for Romanian Vampires

Daily Mail predicts cuttle fish shortages when unprecedented numbers of Budgerigar‎s are allowed into the country as New Year rings in in little cages across Eastern Europe...

Ian Searle 22.12.13 12:51pm
Ian Searle
Shepherds Prosecuted For Abandonong Flocks

"Apparently they had all strolled down to a pub in Bethlehem" said an RSPCA spokesman "with some tale of seeing angels or moving stars. Not really the season for magic mushrooms though, so we're not...

Titus 22.12.13 12:02pm
Drug mules infiltrate nativity plays.

The scene in the junior boys toilets at Chesham Primary was shocking. ‘It was drug paraphernalia all right,’ said teacher Patricia Smythe. ‘But on a bizarrely large scale. Huge rolled up...

nickb 22.12.13 11:45am
England Cricket Selectors Beg Santa For Some Batsmen, Bowlers & Fielders 0
Titus 22.12.13 11:29am
Christmas 'Peaked Too Early' This Year Report

Marketing consultants [i]Trend Surveys[/i] say in a report released today that Christmas 2013 has clearly peaked too early, with consumers already having moved on from the yuletide festival and begun...

Titus 22.12.13 11:22am
Neanderthal conversations were 'mostly about immigration' says anthropologist 11
cinquecento 22.12.13 10:59am
As all premiership managers sacked, army called in to take charge. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.12.13 6:30pm
Sprout-eating record disallowed for being ‘wind-assisted’... 3
Tripod 21.12.13 6:07pm
As Jack Whitehall drones on and on, bored theatre critics live in hope…

(See picture here. 'Live At The Apollo' scheduled for tonight @ 9:30pm BBC. Maybe.)...

pinxit 21.12.13 5:59pm
Bit of Bully Beaten

There was mild shock and uproar in the world of darts today as a bit of bully was beaten, contrary to common knowledge, Newton's forth law of motion, and contravening the Geneva Convention., It was...

thisisall1word 21.12.13 5:32pm
Worrying report shows most twentysomethings 'still not feeling Christmassy'

A report undertaken by the Department of Health has shown that the majority of people in their mid-twenties are still not feeling the magic of the festive season despite the worrying proximity to...

D 21.12.13 3:47pm
Lindy Moone
No-one apart from 'H from Steps' has Googled 'H from Steps' court reveals. 2
MADJEZ 21.12.13 2:28pm
wongwoom 0
Squudge 21.12.13 1:51pm
Tony Blair selfie portrait unveiled at National Portrait Gallery

The acrylic on canvas painting of the former PM shows him in dramatic pose, taking a 'selfie' photo as he reflects on his career. "He suggested the selfie concept," said artist Eric Tring RA. "With...

pinxit 21.12.13 12:47pm
Ian "H" Watkins "targeted at vulnerable children." 0
Ref Minor 21.12.13 12:07pm
Ref Minor
Calls for Sky coverage of England’s World Cup humiliation to be made exclusive

Having been saved from much of England’s pitiful performance in the Ashes Tests due to Sky having the exclusive rights, millions of armchair sports fans are calling for similar arrangements for the...

Midfield Diamond 21.12.13 11:50am
Des Custard
All Ian 'H' Watkins photos online to be branded with 'Not a Paedophile'

Ex Steps singer, Ian 'H' Watkins, who is absolutely not a paedophile, but has been mistaken for one due to sloppy image search algorithms online and equally sloppy journalism, has taken steps, ahem,...

bonjonelson 21.12.13 11:49am
Fowl play suspected at apollo 8
Backup Brian 21.12.13 11:15am
Secret-Santa holds little mystery in two person office. 2
MADJEZ 21.12.13 10:30am
Lam Kok off the Christmas menu in Bordeaux. 0
MADJEZ 21.12.13 10:04am
Government criticize food banks for not lending enough. 0
MADJEZ 21.12.13 10:02am
UN in emergency session as North Korea perfect fax technology. 0
MADJEZ 21.12.13 9:52am
Pandemonium at G-A-Y club after poof collapse 0
Smart Alex 21.12.13 8:25am
Smart Alex