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Bad news for greedy city directors as Aspirin proves to be a cure for them. 0
HarryTheBiscuit 3 years
Nancy Dell'Ollio claims chef James Petrie is a dish. 0
HarryTheBiscuit 3 years
Thatcher still milking system. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Obama admits that EuroDisney for France was "a mistake". More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
John Terry denies making comments on the title race 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Lazy worker demands to be paid overtime for doing his job 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Stevie Wonder releases, "I just called to say can you hear me now?" 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Apple to launch new AyePhone for the Scottish market 0
Psycadelic Squirrel 3 years
Euro, Euro, gently over the dam ... 0
DorsetBoy 3 years

Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, banks are such a scam...

Enormous pile of urine-soaked euros found up against Athens wall 0
Nick McCarr 3 years
Testicle-biting woman 'could be going down again', says judge. 7
Boutros 3 years
Jeremy Clarkson criticised for road-testing wives 13
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

TV presenter Jeremy Clarkson's latest Top Gear Challenge has sparked fresh criticism after he and his co-presenters set out to discover which of them had the fastest wife. Much of the criticism came...

Authorities threaten St Paul’s protestors with George Monbiot 4
Skylarking 3 years

Anti-capitalist protestors are being told they face a lengthy visit from columnist and self-styled eco-warrior George Monbiot, if they do not withdraw from their encampment in St Paul’s Square....

Kelly Clarkson agony: Wants to Breakaway from Clarkson Clan 0
Drylaw 3 years
Environmentalists lament the rise of Squirrel Self-tanning Booths... 1
El_GloryBoy 3 years

but add that 'it does explain why the red ones are dying out'. More soon...

St Paul’s gift shop to sell Lego protestors set. 2
nickb 3 years

They may be preparing to leave the St Paul’s concourse, but the protestors’ next stop is the St Paul’s gift shop, where they’ll be part of a special commemorative Lego set. Little bearded...

Footballers too stupid to understand concept of racism, report finds 13
Tim Collins 3 years

Premier league footballers are to be exonerated for their verbal controversies following the revelation that they are too inherently stupid to understand the literary connotations of what makes a...

Shipping industry reacts to legislation on rodents and time-keeping devices 0
El_GloryBoy 3 years

Industry experts warn that the proposals, which moot a restriction on vertical social interactions between mice and specified categories of time-recording equipment, could spell the end for Hickory...

Gaddafi’s killers to be given fair trial... 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

and a medal...

Future telvised 'Leader's Debates' to incorporate 'Pokemon Rules' 0
El_GloryBoy 3 years

A review of the 'leader's debates' held in the run up to the last election is expected to recommend that the format be tweaked next time around, with the introduction of so-called 'Pokemon rules'....

Dreamliner passenger: “I sat next to Cat Stevens, who was knitting a scarf..” 6
nickb 3 years

Reports from those among Boeing’s first passenger payload say the craft lives up to its name. “…then Cat Stevens put down his needles and turned into Alex Salmond, who asked me to sing an...

Customer trying to buy "touch" is out of touch claims Apple 1
apepper 3 years

Apple shop customer, Piers Fishandhunt, has caused a row in an Apple store by trying to update his non-touch phone to the latest iPhone simply by buying some "touch". "They kept saying I was out of...

Enraged virgin train passenger finally goes off on one 2
witless 3 years

wait for ages then two come along at once...

Greece allowed to keep uneaten biscuits as part of Eurozone debt deal 3
Iamthestig 3 years

As part of the last-gasp Eurozone debt restructure, it was agreed that Greek Prime Minister George Papandreou could take all the remaining biscuits back home with him. Such an agreement had looked...

More serious offenders face life. Silly ones let off with a fine. 1
Not Amused 3 years
New study adds nothing to the world whatsoever 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A recent study being reported by the BBC has discovered a remarkably tenuous link between two factors which were previously thought to be unrelated. Undertaken by a six man team at a university, the...

UK's population to hit 70m on 23rd June 2027 at 4.28pm, estimate statisticians 3
3 years

The UK's population will hit 70m in 2027 with the arrival of a bouncing baby boy called Arnaud, the son of two first-generation immigrants from Lilles. The child will not be circumcised but will need...

Germany decides to leave Eurozone, and have a go in the Crystal Dome. 0
Perks 3 years

Old school tv...

Seven in a bid for Irish presidency 3
simonjmr 3 years

As Doc, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Bashful, Sneezy, and Dopey announce their nominations, there are rumours that Israeli transsexual Dana International is also considering entering the presidential race....

Piers Morgan to be first space tourist - "return ticket under negotiation" 0
apepper 3 years

Virgin Galactic has named broadcaster Piers Morgan as the first space tourist to get a seat on the new SpaceShipTwo sub-orbital space craft. "His name was the first that came up.", explained Virgin...