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New fears that Government does not have enough grit to last the winter... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Dobbin the elf set to tell all in new North Pole expose 6
dogwheels 3 years

Dobbin the elf, who spent years as Santa's right-hand-man, is set to reveal all in a new autobiography which will send shockwaves through the festive season. The book, titled [i]Smell the Glove - My...

Qatar announced as surprise winner of X-Factor 0
antharrison 3 years

Following a last-minute intervention by Sepp Blatter and FIFA, the gulf state of Quatar has been crowned winner of the X-Factor, beating finalists Matt Cardle and Rebecca Ferguson. "The contest was...

Cowell becomes god, and replaces Christian relic with: X-FACTOR-MAS 0
wolfie 3 years

Cow-ell, Cow-ell, the angels did sing. "It's about time someone finally stepped forward with a real god to worship - me. Who else in this country can turn crap into money, turn someone's life...

Frankie Boyle and Jordan to marry in the new year. 2
Basil_B 3 years
Did the Daily Mail lure Camilla into the path of student rioters? 1
deskpilot3 3 years

More conspiracy theories soon...

Guantanemo detainees protest about orange jump suits. 2
deskpilot3 3 years

People shout rude things, throw things at us and make our lives miserable. It's the orange suits - they think we're Lib Dems...

US reveals plans to invade UK, Sweden to arrest Assange 0
petebrown 3 years

More soon, I fear...

Clegg admits "Tories would only accept student fees policy or PR. We chose PR." 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Extraordinary ‘we were only joking’ admission from Cameron & Clegg 4
Nick Wright 3 years

'We were only joking,' claimed Cameron and Clegg in an extraordinary turn of events earlier today. 'We were surprised the student fees hoax was taken so seriously. It was only intended as a bit of...

BNP considers new vote-winning policy of abolishing student fees... 0
deskpilot3 3 years

always at the forefront of thinking the unthinkable...

Cameron and Clegg discuss BNP with Mail in a vain attempt to make them comedic. 5
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Desperately seeking 1 star from Ram...

New Michael Jackson CD defended by production team, Burke and Hare... 0
Doylem 3 years
Scouts to burn copies of the Koran... 0
Doylem 3 years

Says Kevin Elder, Chief Scout: “To win their ‘religious intolerance’ badge, scouts will have to burn a pile of holy books, without using more than one match”...

Camilla admits she'd rather be poked by a stick than a prince 0
roybland 3 years
Only two weeks to Sell Your Unwanted Christmas Presents Day 0
roybland 3 years
It’s time to stuff the turkey... if he can wangle five minutes alone with it... 0
Doylem 3 years
camilla admits being touched by student protester 0
4ty2 3 years

and his predicament - and actually been rather aroused by it. Charle is never that outgoing she said in an interview later...

Stockholm bombing "clearly the work of terrorist Julian Assange" - CIA 1
Izziere 3 years
Contact wasn't made with a stick, it was a 20 ft barge pole, admits aide 1
Mr.3374 3 years

More later...

20-foot barge-pole seeks trauma counselling... 0
Doylem 3 years
Camilia is alive. 0
DiY 3 years

Home Secretary Theresa May has confirmed there was "contact" between the Duchess of Cornwall and one of the protesters who approached her car., Prince Philip was heard to say "Feck, feck, feck!"...

Karate expert blackballed for not demonstrating his powers on new acquaintance 6
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

The Union of Arseholes who do Martial Arts has moved swiftly to discipline one of its members, after he failed to demonstrate his skills on a vaguely interested member of the public., "Anyone...

Britain suffering from Premature Christmas Celebration Syndrome... 0
Doylem 3 years
‘Bollocks to Christmas’: book two in new edition of Encyclopedia Britannica... 0
Doylem 3 years
Mancini pulls Tevez off at half time... 0
Doylem 3 years

“It made a pleasant change”, said Man City captain. “All I usually get is an energy drink”...

Climate summit delegates agree that today is Sunday... 0
Doylem 3 years
Angriest chef competition comes to the boil... 1
Doylem 3 years

In a few short years the image of the chef has been transformed - from harmless drudge working long hours for low pay in some restaurant kitchen hell-hole, to an angry, red-faced man who swears a lot...

Scientists discover primary source of atmospheric warming in Cancun 0
Sinnick 3 years

[variation on a theme]...

Lord David Steel is a firm favourite for "taking the f..ing biscuit "of the year 0
Malcum eggs 3 years

after calling non politicians "disgusting "...