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Increase in number of tog turds slipped in since the invention of the iPhone 4
gaijintendo 3 years

Apple intends to circumvent this by using the camera to detect upcoming turds as users walk blindly forward whilst reading tedious shit on twitter...

Chris Huhne to cut emissions, will only speed in electric car from now on. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
"Turn down your bed, sir?" The wrath of Kahn. 1
rikkor 3 years
Arnie confesses that termination was not an option 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Severed head surcharge 2
pumpernickle 3 years

Ryan air has been criticized for charging a grieving family member extra for returning home with a severed head.The Spanish coroners office insisted a clerical error had been made when booking the...

Schwarzenegger Still Struggling to Find Film Quote for Secret Love Child Story 1
thisisall1word 3 years
World economy signed over to New York maid in bribes, claim NY investigators. 0
Mrblacker 3 years
Boris Johnson Scandle: Office Confirm That Hair Drawn On By 6yr Old Each Morning 0
thisisall1word 3 years
Prince Philip asks Martin McAleese if he can tarmac palace drive. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Dublin erects ring of steel to protect Irish from Prince Phillip 1
roybland 3 years

Ireland has mounted its biggest security operation ever to prevent Prince Phillip from meeting any Irish people during the Queen's four day visit to the country.  ,  , 'The threat of Prince...

Queen to inspect Irish troops 5
pumpernickle 3 years

Queen Elizabeth 11 will inspect Irish troops tonight after a state banquet has been held in her honour in Dublin.Irish troops in balaclavas will fire their Kalashnikov's in the air,followed by flat...

Barren Women Devastated, After Arrest of IVF Chief 0
mugwump 3 years
Arsène Strauss-Huhne in custody on fresh charges 4
Des Custard 3 years

French financier Arsène Strauss-Huhne was held in custody overnight in Holloway police station as new evidence emerged of taking advantage of a defenceless football club. Mr Srauss-Huhne was...

Trinny and Susannah advise on What to Wear at the Stop Cock This Summer 0
ronseal 3 years

A biblical drought and a bunch of useless asset stripping water companies mean that the high street Stop Cock will be the social hub for many Britons this summer. The queue for water rations will be...

Chinese farm intake of taliban pickers blamed for outbreak of exploding melons 2
Basil_B 3 years
Michael Schumacher Gets Beaten Every Race 4
wolfie 3 years

Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha...

EC forces department store manequins to feature more life-like genetalia 0
antharrison 3 years

Following a ruling by the supreme court of the European Union, manequins in department stores are to be required to be in possession of life-like genetalia. The ruling which follow the decision of a...

It happened over 10 years ago, says ex-Governator. 'I couldn't do it again now'. 0
Ostsee 3 years
Damon Hill describes opening of garage as 'Highlight of Career' 0
3 years

Former F1 driver Damon Hill opened a garage door today, in front of an expectant crowd of the world's media. After scrabbling around in his trouser pocket for a few seconds, he held aloft a tiny...

Cambridge University Netball Team forced to send back sweatshirts 1
nannyknowsbest 3 years

Breaking News ****, Cambridge University Netball Team forced to send back entire shipment of team sweatshirts after deciding that team initials alone where not suitable - less later...

Schwarzenneger admits fathering a love-child... 1
be reasonable 3 years

Carla Bruni pregnant. Sarkozy wondering...

Chinese government demands immediate removal of Roman troops... 0
be reasonable 3 years
Arnie sperminates housekeeper. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

Strauss-Kahn gutted 'How come he get's away with it' More soon...

Gordon Brown gets top job at MFI... 4
be reasonable 3 years

as the IMF quickly changes the sign on the door...

Nerd breaks guinness world record for amount of tissue used for one ejaculation. 0
pumpernickle 3 years

Computer nerd and Manchester Utd fan Tarquin Broadstaff has had his claim for the most amount of toilet tissue used for one ejaculation officially accepted by guinness world records. The record...

Global Warming crisis solved by cautious politicians hedging their bets. 0
Mr Payne 3 years
IMF chief thought acronym meant International Maid Fucker 0
ronseal 3 years
Head of IMF regrets booking a room with a gobbling teasmade 0
Waggys Dog 3 years

Just a chance to rehash a very old joke...

A-team to be used in Olympic venue construction to reduce costs 1
Screenie 3 years

A toilet roll, 3 fridge magnets and an aubergine should do it...

Speculation on the emotional currency markets devastes the Spanish Manyana 7
ronseal 3 years

A busy day on the emotional currency markets has seen the Spanish Manyana and the Gallic Shrug fall to new lows. The British Grumble finished two points down, but seemed otherwise stable, while the...