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Amnesiac gynaecologist’s memory returning in “random snatches” 6
Spoinge 17.05.12 6:42am
ronseal
Greece 'making a Drachma out of a crisis' complains Merkel 1
pinxit 17.05.12 5:25am
dvo4fun
Britons warned not to overdo it after wild spree of Joey Barton condemnation

Britain finally got to feel good about itself on Sunday, after Joey Barton's sending off released a wave of indignation and self importance that swept across England, Wales, Northern Ireland and even...

4
ronseal 16.05.12 10:00pm
ronseal
Bosnian butcher to sue War Criminal Nicknames Office. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 16.05.12 6:55pm
dominic_mcg
Npower announce new 'hybrid' power station

Npower, the UK energy supplier has today announced it's plans to turn Didcot power station into the world's first 'hybrid' power station. The move comes as the company try to find even more ways to...

3
Perks 16.05.12 6:26pm
dvo4fun
Store Manager in Liverpool 'leaves his post' following poor run of results

The Manager of the Liverpool branch of Maplins, Danny McKleesh, has shocked the retail world by ‘leaving his post’, which he has held for just over a year. His decision comes after a run of...

2
Perks 16.05.12 6:11pm
dvo4fun
London pubs to set minimum price for alcohol of £5 per unit 0
Mandy Lifeboat 16.05.12 5:17pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Slimming World seek venues with larger car parks

more soon please...

1
medici2471 16.05.12 5:09pm
nostra da mouse
Fenn Street School's Norman Potter to head proposed Greek caretaker government, 2
Zen 16.05.12 5:08pm
nostra da mouse
SCOTTISH ALCOHOLICS FACE BOOZE vsTHRIFT DILEMMA.

Penny-pinching booze-loving Scots have been backed into a corner by new price rises on alcohol., Faced with price rises on the full spectrum of Scottish jolly water, tight-fisted booze-sozzled Jocks...

4
daneade 16.05.12 5:05pm
arthurminnit
Bisto kid in hitler youth scandal - 'I was only following odours' 3
Haywood Manley 16.05.12 4:58pm
nostra da mouse
Kenny Dalglish sacked for thinking Andy Carroll is a great player 0
Hooch 16.05.12 3:43pm
Hooch
"Kenny Dalglish ensures me Andy Carroll is a great player" - Roy Hodgson 0
Hooch 16.05.12 3:42pm
Hooch
Plans to move children's programming leaves "next to nothing" in BBC1 schedule

Following reports that programmes made specifically to cater for the attention spans of those under ten will be moved permanently to the CBBC and CBeebies channels, concerns have been raised that...

0
Haywood Manley 16.05.12 1:45pm
Haywood Manley
Writer struggles to describe incident where chicken ran round with head cut off

The much awaited release of the new Emmerdale Farm novel has been delayed a further 3 months as author Lance Parkin searches for a way to describe a poultry decapitation incident in the climatic...

7
Yikes 16.05.12 1:43pm
ianslat
Lord Leveson promoted to Witch finder General 0
Scronnyglonkle 16.05.12 1:19pm
Scronnyglonkle
Rebekah Brooks faces trial by ducking stool

Amidst claims that her arrest is part of a witch hunt, it has been revealed that Rebekah Brooks will face trial by ducking stool. With drowning indicating innocence and floating being a sure sign of...

6
16.05.12 1:02pm
Phone hacking reveals Rebekah Brooks has a holiday home in Salem 3
Scronnyglonkle 16.05.12 12:18pm
RickH
The Truth Hurts: No Briton has as much talent as a dancing dog.

Pudsey to be offered Simon Cowell's job; and, as a treat, Simon Cowell, in gravy...

0
RickH 16.05.12 12:10pm
RickH
Atheists pull ad campaign after spate of members killed in bus accidents

The worldwide trend for atheists to advertise on buses looks set to cease after a study found that 95% of people killed in bus accidents didn’t believe in God. Professor Paul Saunders of Boston...

0
Yikes 16.05.12 11:20am
Yikes
FA to give Joey Barton a slap on wrist, kick up the arse & punch in the face 2
charlies_hat 16.05.12 10:34am
charlies_hat
Rebekah Brooks charged with conspiracy to conceal evidence

The former editor of The Sun and the News of the World was today charged by the Crown Prosecution Service with concealing facts and evidence from the readerships of the two newspapers she edited....

7
Haywood Manley 16.05.12 10:22am
Rowly
Female filmmakers still struggling with Cannes opener 3
Nerys Hughes 16.05.12 10:19am
Sinnick
CEO of Ecover to appear at The Hague on a charge of ethic cleansing 0
charlies_hat 16.05.12 9:56am
charlies_hat
Peer says "ditch outdated imperial units for Olympics"

with no apparent irony. More soon, M’lud...

0
Thor 16.05.12 9:41am
Thor
Schoolboy reveals difference between the Leveson Enquiry & the Culture Secretary

One is a witch hunt, the other is a rich .. ////yes I know it's a dreaded two-liner, but can't work out how to fit it in a ticker limit//...

0
cinquecento 16.05.12 9:04am
cinquecento
Phone hacking scandal continues - red tops paying the price 0
Haywood Manley 16.05.12 8:12am
Haywood Manley
It's not a witch hunt-we've found her. 0
Tomfinger 16.05.12 8:11am
Tomfinger
Pope and Mladic's adopted child Ratko Ratzinger 'not expected to turn out evil' 0
pere floza 16.05.12 8:03am
pere floza
Hollande says plane was not called Grecce Lightning

more bad puns later...

0
Scronnyglonkle 16.05.12 7:41am
Scronnyglonkle