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Men with beards in pubs oppose HS2 0
nickb 11.01.12 3:46pm
Westminster to rule on kilt length 0
nickb 11.01.12 3:45pm
Cross-party motion to reintroduce hanging, drawing & quartering 'just in case' 0
cinquecento 11.01.12 3:28pm
Man drowns in whisky vat

.French police have been asked to investigate and are currently stating there are no suspicious circumstances as it appears to have been a single mort...

bsp123 11.01.12 3:05pm
Virgin Media doubles broadband to up to half its advertised speed 1
medici2471 11.01.12 2:41pm
Council tenants threatened with prison look forward to the upgrade. 0
medici2471 11.01.12 2:12pm
Sex addict's cold turkey,an improvement on sliced ham 0
medici2471 11.01.12 2:10pm
Fantastic Four's Human Torch Outed 0
sredni vashta 11.01.12 1:57pm
sredni vashta
Tesco security staff wary as hundreds more little chefs fall on hard times

Security staff at Tesco are bracing themselves for a massive shoplifting spree of miniature proportions following reports that hundreds more ‘little chefs’ have fallen on hard times. ‘We are...

Qoxiivi 11.01.12 7:43pm
Scotland to be released on compassionate grounds

Prime Minister David Cameron has today announced that Scotland is to be released from Britain on the grounds of ill-health. Legal advisers for the country, which was sentenced to be part of Great...

ianslat 11.01.12 6:26pm
Alton Towers unveil new 'Coalition Coaster'

Alton Towers have today unveiled the latest thrill ride in their collection. The 'Coalition Roller Coaster' has been launched as the theme park's most ambitious ride yet with many twist and turns,...

Perks 12.01.12 9:15am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Scotland separation from UK - Salmond and Sturgeon to mullet over

The plaice for all your fish puns...

Smart Alex 12.01.12 6:23pm
Newest form of assisted suicide: Become an Iranian nuclear engineer

No need to travel to Switzerland...

wwwiz 11.01.12 1:09pm
Celebrity Big Brother to feature real celebrities

Hopefully, no more soon...

JonnyJP 11.01.12 4:12pm
The 100 year collision course with James Corden

In 1910, an British engineer called John Pottersby made a number of predictions about what the world in 2010. How did he do? 10 predictions that Pottersby got right 10 - Squeezy Marmite “The...

Newsquelch 12.01.12 9:49am
"I'm not a political lightweight" argues Ed Milligram

More elsewhere...

Scroat 11.01.12 12:52pm
British film industry urged to focus more on pornography and wizards

Britain's film industry is facing a radical overhaul, as ministers urged studios to stop making arty, elitist guff that can only be understood by philosophy students and focus more on wizards,...

11.01.12 10:52pm
Greenham Common Veterans To Train Anti-HS2 Activists......

..Birmingham to Leeds route activists to be trained via a spiritualist...

Jesse Bigg 11.01.12 4:59pm
Jesse Bigg
54 years of misery ends as Little Chef falls from motorists menu

VentureThree recently rebranded Little Chef with the eponymous phrase; “Fresh from the Freezer and Disappointingly British it’ll be fun to leave!” The Disappointingly British theme ran...

Newsquelch 11.01.12 3:55pm
Ken Loach to direct Happy Feet “ The Heroin Years”

Ken Loach is to direct the sequel to Happy Feet after David Cameron called on the UK film industry to produce more blockbuster movies and less depressing shit about council estates. Cameron said...

Gary Stanton 12.01.12 9:30am
Dickens or Shakespeare
Too many blockbuster remakes "stiffling" originality in porn films

The 2012 Awards season will climax in six weeks time when the Porn Industry OscHards are awarded, but an industry insider and Executive Producer for many adult movies, claims that remakes of...

simonjmr 23.02.12 4:41pm
Man wearing M&S cardigan involved in heroic act

A man wearing a M&S cardigan is reported to have been involved in what witnesses describe as 'an heroic act'. The act is said to have involved throwing caution to the winds and to have...

roybland 11.01.12 11:50am
Scots Independence Ballot paper to include 'any team except England' option.

In a bid to ensure the correct result is returned, and explain in terms explicable to the populace what might otherwise be a complex and abstruse legal and constitutional issue, the SNP has decided...

muchofamuchness 11.01.12 12:31pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
New ‘Ed Mil-ogram’ set to take birthday party scene by storm

Forget Stripograms and Kissograms, the latest craze for birthday parties is an Ed Mil-ogram. This new offering will see the Labour leader deliver a message of your choice and then spend the evening...

Vertically Challenged Giant 12.01.12 10:34am
Cameron insists that Labour is 'part of Scotland' 0
pere floza 11.01.12 9:53am
pere floza
'Harmful and dull': Michael Gove 2
ianslat 11.01.12 1:16pm
Man in £18k debt after misreading letters stating Speeding, Fine 1
Perks 10.01.12 9:09pm
Surveillance for Olympic Relays as TV Chef Threatens to Half-Inch Batons 0
charlieworth 10.01.12 8:27pm
Tech-savvy toddlers 'falling over themselves' for BBC's 3D-eebies

Britain's toddlers and babies are making a beeline for the latest 'must have' home entertainment craze, following successful trials of the BBC's new 3D children's channel. 3D-eebies is available...

14.03.12 3:12pm
Roberto Mancini caught stealing players

The manager of mega-rich Manchester City FC, Roberto Mancini, has been caught stealing a professional footballer. Following his team's defeat against Manchester United on Sunday, Sir Alex Ferguson...

kga6 10.01.12 7:09pm