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Government Report states the obvious and makes vague recommendations 2
Immunis 3 years

Today the government released a report that contained many thousands of pages of data and cost millions of pounds to write. The conclusion of the report was that some people were lazy and didn’t do...

"Like Peter Hain to news tragedy' to replace "Like shit to a blanket" 8
dvo4fun 3 years

Former Secretary of State for Wales, now ambassador-at-large for the Sleep apnoea Society, Peter Hain has been recognised in the 18th edition of 'Brewer's Dictionary of Phrase and Fable'. For...

Katie Price's breasts accidentally covered up after wardrobe malfunction 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Huge interest at rare auction of Range Rover without personalised number plate 9
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

An extremely rare Range Rover, believed by experts to be the only one in the UK without a personalised registration, is due to go on sale at auction today. The rarity value of the 2008 Range Rover...

Bad taste claim after radio station plays George Michael's Last Christmas 8
bonjonelson 3 years
Solar-powered tanning booth certified 'carbon-neutral, yet pointless' 0
grumblechops 3 years
Sepp Blatter reports wife missing after she "just popped out for a tram ride". 1
Rumbelows1 3 years
Methodist Minister becomes “accidental” Million-air 0
livmin 3 years

A Methodist minister has become the latest person to be added to the Times Rich List this week after the overnight success of his new venture, Air Accessories Inc. David Hopkins, 52, of Chorley in...

John Bercow coat of arms reveals you can't buy class 8
3 years
OECD continually washing hands of European recession. More soon. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years
Stem Cell Trials Halted as Sheep Fail to Complete Course 1
Immunis 3 years
GVT calls for state funeral for Thatcher, Unions in negotiation over time limit. 0
reforse 3 years

More to follow...

CERN to tackle Duckworth-Lewis next 5
dvo4fun 3 years

Success in finding the Higgs boson (Hb), the elementary thingummybob predicted by many household-name particle physicists, seems close at hand. With this in mind, boffins behind the £5 Billion CERN...

Gazza arrives in Darlington to offer rampaging cow lager and a fishing trip 0
kga6 3 years
Chinese takeaway sues Bakers for use of trademark 'doggylicious' descriptor 0
kga6 3 years
CERN comes under scrutiny as Dr Evil is listed under leading project sponsors 0
Immunis 3 years
Pudsey Bear to lose other eye as BBC cutbacks bite 0
Immunis 3 years

A bit late, but I'm clearing out some headlines that I have written nothing for...

Rise in White Collar Crime causes Drop in Tie Sales 0
Immunis 3 years
tourism of Zimbabwe up 400 percent 2
Screenie 3 years

more soon. More, MORE!...

Rick Perry forgets which country he wants to be President of 0
Long Distance Clara 3 years

In an embarrassing slip up during a televised primary debate, Rick Perry, Governor of Texas and hopeful for the Republican 2012 presidential nomination, yesterday temporarily forgot the name of the...

NHS increase number of weekend morticians to handle demand 0
apepper 3 years

The NHS has responded decisively to reports that more people die at weekends. "We're increasing the number of mortician workers. Now people can die whenever they like."...

Major drama production seeks volunteers with no drama 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Richard Branson decides against future round the world balloon attempts... 1
Smart Alex 3 years

after remembering he owns an airline...

Michael Gove to fix education with magic beans 0
Shandy 3 years

Secretary of state for education Michael Gove has announced his intention to cure the social ills affecting so many state schools with £37,000 worth of magic beans. "We didn't quite get as much...

Meek 'unsure what to do next' after inheriting the Earth 3
Oxbridge 3 years

Nearly two thousand years after it was originally prophesied during the Sermon on the Mount, the Meek have finally inherited the Earth. Speculation has now been growing about what they will do with...

Memorandum confirms ad hoc teaching of code to replace Latin on school syllabus 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Bjork to star in live action film of Crystal Tipps & Alistair... 0
victimms 3 years

It has been revealed that that Icelandic pop singer Bjork has been successful in her bid to land the lead role of Crystal in the forthcoming live action version of Crystal Tipps and Alistair. Having...

Christmas to Become 365-Day Festival 3
Chuts 3 years

The government today announced plans to make Christmas a 365-day event, so spreading the peak retail sector activity over the remaining six months of the year. "We already have Harrods and...

Health and Safety rules cannot be axed due to lack of axe handling certification 0
charlies_hat 4 years
New legal high ‘Pepper Spray’ hospitalises protesters. 2
TheTomStrange 4 years

A new legal high called pepper spray or ‘PEP’ is being sold on the internet as an alternative to illegal drugs, such as cocaine, mephedrone and napalm. The drug is a lachrymatory agent (a...