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Germany distraught to find it now owns Greece 2
Screenie 3 years
Pickles talks rubbish 6
spoole2112 3 years

Big boned communities secretaty Eric Pickles announced today that he had miraculously 'found' £250 million to restore weekly bin collections. "I must have been sat on it all this timeI stood up in...

Nations stockpile insults as conventional warfare becomes 'unaffordable' 9
nickb 3 years

It is a doomsday scenario feared by military top brass the world over: The economic downturn bites with ever greater savagery, weapons of mass destruction become too expensive, and the labour costs...

Navy downsizing leads to increase in Petty Officers 0
dvo4fun 3 years

Or something like that bleeaauuugg...

Top Universities failure to attract poorer students may lead to shortage of fags 2
Ian Searle 3 years

David Cameron raises fears Old Etonions might not have anyone to roast over an open fire, and could be forced to butter their own muffins for tiffin...

Pavlyuchenko refuses to play. Spurs fans joy. 0
Drylaw 3 years
Commuter B.O. Threat Level raised from "Severe" to "Critical". 5
seymour totti 3 years

Due to recent warm weather, the Environment Agency today raised the Body Odour warning level of a commuter from "Severe" to "Critical". Mark Beale, a 36 year old software engineer, catches the 17.56...

Greeks wary of 'rescue plan' which involves travelling to Poland by train, 4
MADJEZ 3 years

Arbeit macht frei soon...

Greece shocked to learn that Germany now owns it 5
ianslat 3 years

Greek citizens are today coming to terms with the shock news that Germany’s latest bailout of their beleaguered economy means that they are now owned by Germany. ‘I was gob-smacked when I read...

Tories Confirm - Job Done! 1
grottymonty 3 years

Conservative Central Office has confirmed this morning that they now consider the implementation of their initial election manifesto completed. Senior Ministers and most MP's will now head back to...

Speed limit on M25 to rise from ‘crawling' to 'jogging'. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years
‘Fresh Meat’ homage to ‘Young Ones’ not ripoff 0
Clarky 3 years

The writers of Channel 4 series ‘Fresh Meat’ deny their comedy, which follows the madcap adventures of a group of university students sharing a house, is a straight copy of ‘The Young Ones,’...

Crunch time or pork scratching makers. 0
spoole2112 3 years
John Cleese takes legal action against islander after he orgaises a Scilly Walk. 2
Ian Searle 3 years
No ‘Ed bias’ in Labour Party, Miliband and Balls tell Izzard 1
Clarky 3 years

Leader Ed Miliband has moved swiftly to squash rumours of an unfair bias in the Labour Party towards people called Ed or Eddie. ‘It’s simply not true,’ he assured comedian Eddie Izzard. ‘Ask...

Satan to launch 10th level of Hell 0
grottymonty 3 years

A press release issued by the Dark Lord himself has confirmed months of specualtion that 9 levels simply wasn't enough with all the bad shit that's going down. The new 10th level will initially be...

Mammal washed ashore in Yorkshire very close to local Whale way station! 0
Iamthestig 3 years
OU Applied mathematics tuition for confused Dual Fuel customers 2
vertical 3 years

http://tinyurl.com/6y2cvc7 The Open University is offering advanced applied mathematics 'crash' modules primarily aimed at pHD students unable to comprehend their gas and electric bills. Confused...

MOD chiefs look to plug defence secretary's Fox hole 0
spoole2112 3 years

More later...

Fears as Met Office upgrades forecast of heat wave to 'heat tsunami' 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

government considers 90mph limit for drivers 'touching cloth' 0
3 years
Royal Navy to suffer death by a thousand cuts 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Housewife deaths increasing - the 0.1% of germs bleach doesnt touch to blame 1
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Redundant sailors to be offered jobs as bin men. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
Met Office finally admits that they have outsourced English Summer to India 2
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Higgs Boson Discovered Hiding in Compound Under Noses of CERN Physicists 0
kga6 3 years

US intelligence claims a raid by US Navy Seals in the early hours of the morning has found and destroyed the Higgs Boson. The particle is said to have been inches away from the particle detectors in...

"MJ was sick" judge tells court 0
Gary Baldy 3 years

Proving his "street" credentials, the judge let the youths of LA know he can speak their language...

Black box manufacturers challenged to think inside the box 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Conference on Insomnia finds cure, attending conferences 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Parents protest at Mattel's release of Action Man "Taliban Suicide Bomber" 7
brownpaperreporter 3 years

"Pull the cord, 'Allah is Great' and Boom! and that's £8.99 gone" is the verdict of one consumer Mattel have admitted that the use of minature Semtex vests had been "over zealous" and will in...