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"Only You" expected to be No1 this weekend after Flying Pickets resurgence 0
simonjmr 3 years
Nose injuries increase due to growth in picket lines. More soon. 2
Al OPecia 3 years
Alistair Campbell calls British press ‘putrid’. 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

British press suddenly understand what ‘hypocrisy’ means...

C of E hoping to recruit new members with "Porn" Bible 0
simonjmr 3 years

The Church of England today has announced that they will closely watch the success of the recently launched "Manga" Bible, if that fails to recruit more converts from their target demographic market...

BBC launches "Jurassic Come Dancing". 0
seymour totti 3 years

As part of the BBC's drive to save money, the Light Entertainment and Natural History departments have been merged. The first new show from this combined unit came last week with the debut episode of...

Obese people 'most likely to feel pain' of UK's belt-tightening measures 0
dicky37 3 years

[More soon]...

“Speedos are for privacy” underwater paparazzo advises at enquiry. 0
nickb 3 years

"Speedophiles ruined a perfectly good business," enquiry hears. Swimmers' apparel brand Speedos received an unexpected endorsement from a former specialist celebrity photographer at the Leveson...

Steve's job's gone! 0
spoole2112 3 years

My imminent redundancy has just been officially announced on the companys's intranet siteafter seventeen wonderful years I leave this evening...

Brass bands and ballet give hope as strikes rock teaching communities 0
ianslat 3 years

Striking teachers have been joining brass bands in their thousands as the hardships start to bite in teaching communities across the country as a result of today’s strike. ‘We’re all up...

Students dazed and confused as maths and economics teachers strike over pensions 1
charlies_hat 3 years
Viagra face cream raises eyebrows 2
apepper 3 years

More to follow...

Day of action begins with long lie-in. 2
John Ffitch-Rucker 3 years

Followed by lunch in the pub and DVD marathon this afternoon...

God admits to Earth 'You were an accident'. 0
TheTomStrange 3 years
Defence cut savings to be spent building privet hedge around the UK 0
Iamthestig 3 years

After much debate within the government, a decision has finally been made on how best to protect the UK from invasion, war, and basically anything nasty that could happen. With the new aircraft...

Unions overjoyed at new Kettle drum and Charcoal Briquette public holiday 0
Iamthestig 3 years
NHS brought to stand still as patients walk out. 1
SingingHinny 3 years

Rewrite of earlier sub, not for consideration, as such. But it is boiling my piss. The NHS is experiencing widespread disruption today after patients voted to stage a walk out as a show of...

SAS to re-enact storming of Iranian Ambassy in London for "training purposes" 0
thackaray 3 years
Surprise as George Osborne encourages 'more unpaid strikes' 5
3 years

Chancellor George Osborne has confounded his critics by suggesting a series of wildcat, 24-hour public sector strikes. In a notable shift from his earlier stance on industrial action, Osborne...

American Airlines loses Triple A rating. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 3 years
American Airlines grasp concept of multiplication 5
GreenCross 3 years

Top executives at troubled US carrier American Airlines yesterday finally understood the concept of multiplication, and immediately filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. In a high-level...

Two million hospital patients to enjoy day off; shops and restaurants braced. 0
SingingHinny 3 years
Obese non-violent protestor to go on over-eating strike 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Chelsea confirm game against Valencia is now literally a life or death situation 0
grottymonty 3 years

Villas Boas pre-booked on one way flight to Siberia next Thursday as Abramovich's patience runs out. "I expect you to win, Mr Villas Boas" Roman was quoted, as he gently stroked a cat...

Lock, Stock & 2 Smoking Beagles - The Musical 0
Tuneraider 3 years

The Kennel Club & Daily Post critic, howled in dismay at the as the latest "Dogsploitation" offering from producer Sloop Dogg. The musical tells the true story of the struggle of 4 tobacco ...

Work reasonable hours for average pay & benefits? Maybe you need a Trade Union 23
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Are you tired of working almost 40 hours a week for a salary around the market average for your qualifications and skill set? Are you unhappy that your benefits are only marginally better than 95% of...

Sports Personality rapped over no women. Public demand totty at awards show. 1
MADJEZ 4 years
Big Brother Revived For Final “Dignitas” Series 0
Ablative Fabsolute 4 years
Scientists suggest wi-fi laptops damage sperm - users suggest vice verse 2
charlies_hat 4 years
Thomas Cook it?-You're Booking Joking - 2 45
greg various 4 years

The recent bad publicity over the financial stability of the travel agent Thomas Cook has only added to the problems faced by the company. The feeling is that no one in their right mind is going to...

Public sector job losses to hit 600,000 by 2016 0
John Ffitch-Rucker 4 years

Public begin to notice in 2061. (Ignites blue touch paper, retires to safe distance)...