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'Kim Jong-un' because he's only 26 0
roybland 3 years
McCain's launches new Witches range with "Coven-Ready Chips". 1
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

And announce a sponsorship deal with Wiccan Wanderers...

Aldi Viagra sales flop 0
roybland 3 years
Eddie the Eagle is sole remaining GB athlete at Commonwealth Games 0
antharrison 3 years
New last-moment events for Commonwealth Games 1
hero2zero 3 years

From each and every catastrophe come the opportunity for something new, hence the new event, “Bridge jumping” will be the first of its type in the history of the Games and all competitors and...

Shock as BBC appears to give a toss about Commonwealth Games 0
Oxbridge 3 years
India To Fix Games Village 0
IABP 3 years

Is there nothing safe from betting scams?...

Vatican Bank 'investigated over money-laundering' 1
rosewing 3 years

The Vatican was embroiled last night in yet another scandal. Italian police moved in to search the Papal residences after traces of white powder were found on the St Peters Steps. It was suspected...

Nick Clegg found abandoned in layby 0
hero2zero 3 years

Council cameras caught images of a dazed and bemused Nick Clegg watching as the car that brought him sped off. Images caught on camera showed the car's registration clearly, but, apparenty DVLA...

Girlfriend doesn't want a flapjack, would rather have a baby 0
la maga 3 years

The source of several weeks of tension between Jack Harling and his girlfriend of two years, Sarah Mishal, came to light today after Mr Harling, attempting to sooth Ms Mishal's irritable mood, which...

Apple release critical patch to restore user's enthusiasm for their device 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Lib-Dems to be renamed "Post-It-Notes". More soon 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Police in quandary over arrested witches coven 0
hero2zero 3 years

Police were obliged to release six member of a witches coven, arrested under the anti-terrorist act. The men, aged between 26-50 mainly of ethnic origin were rumoured to have been dancing naked...

Commonwealth Games committee appalled by "third world conditions" in Delhi. 0
dominic_mcg 3 years
E-fit photo slug arrested 0
Gerontius 3 years

Earlier today Hampshire police raided a vegetable patch just outside Stockbridge and arrested a large black garden slug in connection with a spate of burglaries carried out in the area over the past...

'See the Pope or die of cancer' no contest says RC man 1
Gerontius 3 years

A Roman Catholic man suffering from a rare form of bowel cancer has welcomed the Pope’s visit to the UK insisting that the £10-12m cost of staging the lavish event is undoubtedly money well spent...

West End 'Mousetrap Play' to Close 1
Jesse Bigg 3 years

Due to News of the World finally figuring out 'who done it.'...

British TV Comedic output at an all time low, Twitter-abuse blamed. 0
gaijintendo 3 years

Factburst: [list]The only format achievable by today's ADHD comedians is micro-sketch, pun-a-thon or panel show.[/list], [list]Members of the BBC Kent News team have had to step in to write "My...

Rectal cavities to be used as sports arena and sports village for Delhi games 0
simonjmr 3 years

Reports that our facilities are shit holes - is totally unfounded, we are utilising the most advanced rectal cavity technology for our facilities. We will also be using Nasal passages and Aural...

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November. 1
be reasonable 3 years

Outrage as dyslexic Pastor threatens to burn a Korean on 9th November...

Mother in law could lose a few pounds, in all honesty 4
Oxbridge 3 years
England stick Pakistan apology up Butt 0
simonjmr 3 years
X-Factor Chloe arrested 140 times for every bum note she sang in her last song. 0
Basil_B 3 years
Commonwealth Games in chaos... 0
be reasonable 3 years

Scottish team officials joined the chorus of condemnation surrounding accommodation for athletes decrying the Commonwealth Games village as "unsafe and unfit for human habitation,” they went on...

SPECTRE organisation uncovered 0
Sinnick 3 years

Italian police, together with Interpol, unspecified national security forces and the mysterious Church Police, have today announced the discovery of a major international crime organisation. The...

Man carves chicken, turns into own father 7
Oxbridge 3 years

Even as he did it, 34-year-old newlywed Martin Squire knew it was wrong and that he would soon lose all of his self-respect. But somehow the force of circumstances was just too strong for him. Now...

Wayne Rooney boasts he is no longer a one trick pony 0
arrghgarry 3 years

he can afford a lot more nowadays...

Pope to be awarded an Oscar. 0
AndyS 3 years

The Pope is to be awarded an Oscar following his brilliant portrayal of a slightly doddery old man during his recent visit to Britain. His constant need to knap and his utter bewilderment at the...

"Naked cricketer in gay magazine" (BBC) 0
Sinnick 3 years

Shock photo: The bowler's Holding, the batsman's Willey. RIP Johnners...

Pakistan cricket team called in after disaster strikes Swan Vesta plant 1
Nick McCarr 3 years