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'It's just not Cricket' says Pinocchio at police line-up 5
Dick Everyman 24.03.13 1:50pm
Gerontius
Teletext social networking takes Isle of Wight by storm 0
sydalg 24.03.13 1:19pm
sydalg
Huhne's recent U-turn on gay marriage "was a painful decision" 0
sydalg 24.03.13 1:18pm
sydalg
Career Women Leave Glass Ceiling Sparkling Clean

"Our husbands could eat their dinner straight off of that" say proud trailblazers...

18
thisisall1word 24.03.13 11:31am
Titus
Royal baby "to be sold on Ebay to reduce the deficit"

The government has announced that when the Duchess of Cambridge gives birth, the baby is to be sold to raise money for the nation. A spokesman explained; "We've already had some interest from Madonna...

0
apepper 24.03.13 11:29am
apepper
Kids rush to buy new Kit Kat Chunky Lego flavour 0
Boutros 24.03.13 11:19am
Boutros
Ecstasy coated chewing gum to be sold in Yorkshire as Ebygum 8
custard cream 24.03.13 11:17am
Titus
Russian exile Ollie Gark found dead at his Surrey mansion. 0
MADJEZ 24.03.13 10:27am
MADJEZ
F5 takes caravan parks by storm.

Despite worries that roofs, high-sided vehicles, and caravans, are at risk of getting taken aside by the strong arm of the weather, it was learned today that children in caravan parks up and down the...

1
Big Ben 24.03.13 10:20am
Big Ben
BBC wasted £2m on porn filter for Ceefax 3
sydalg 24.03.13 10:13am
Big Ben
Benefits cheat Richard III only pretended to be a hunchback

Richard III, the most famous hunchback in British history, was a brazen fraud who fought three major battles while claiming disability allowance, it has been revealed. Historian Dr Jason Green, of...

9
sydalg 24.03.13 10:10am
Big Ben
Koreain’ towards End of Daewoos. (2)

Christian Ministers have made full use of the fear-appeal of nuclear Armageddon to get people to church, and keep them there, entertained with sermons of multiple-headed beasts that will come across...

2
Big Ben 24.03.13 10:05am
Big Ben
Former Scots Guard cheated taxpayers of thousands of pounds

A former Scots Guard who claimed tens of thousands of pounds of taxpayers' money for doing 'phantom' jobs was guilty of fraud, a tribunal has ruled. 'This claimant,purporting to be employed as a MP...

0
roybland 24.03.13 7:38am
roybland
Man dies of heart attack during game of charades. More soon. 4
Al OPecia 23.03.13 11:51pm
Yikes
Abramovich 1 Berezovsky 0, Putin scores 0
Dick Everyman 23.03.13 11:17pm
Dick Everyman
Nestle confirm Kit Kat Chunky is a bar not a term of abuse 0
custard cream 23.03.13 10:41pm
custard cream
Berezovsky dead: Polonium KitKat Chunky bars recalled 0
Iscariot 23.03.13 10:30pm
Iscariot
Queen does rough draft of telegram to Philip for 2021 0
sydalg 23.03.13 9:50pm
sydalg
Breaking News: Pope Francis Announces Shock Early Retirement.

.. Pope Benedict forced to move into smaller apartment still as Pope Frank announces early move-in to Castel Gandolfo. Just when we thought two popes were one too many, now its three popes are two...

1
BewsNiscuit 23.03.13 9:43pm
BewsNiscuit
Children 'dead boring' expert says

Children are dead boring says education expert Dr Maureen Sloan of the University of East Anglia's School of Education. 'Many people, especially parents, like to think of young children as lively,...

0
roybland 23.03.13 9:28pm
roybland
Cyprus "disappointed" over Euro Lottery result

Cypriot President Nicos Anastasiades and party leaders are today bemoaning the latest failed financial recovery plan and are blaming the "unlucky" numbers they bought in the weekend's Euro Lottery.,...

1
Walter Eagle 23.03.13 8:47pm
sponge finger
'Shock and surprise' as man found reading review section of weekend newspapers. 0
Mandy Lifeboat 23.03.13 8:28pm
Mandy Lifeboat
Limbs Reunited site a big hit with landmine victims 0
sydalg 23.03.13 7:35pm
sydalg
Mobile phone company boasts serving over 10 million unsatisfied customers 1
Dumbnews 23.03.13 5:43pm
Dumbnews
Unemployed chain smokers to replace animals in science experiment labs

The influence of animal rights campaigners became evident today as the government announced plans to forcibly replace animals in science experiment labs with unemployed smokers, drinkers and drug...

1
Reg Herring 23.03.13 5:29pm
Big Ben
Hospital Inspections based on 'Snog, Marry Avoid'

Now we know why Mid Staffs Hospital passed numerous inspections whilst having a mortality rate similar to the first day of the Somme. Inspectors have been grading hospitals according to the...

1
deceangli 23.03.13 5:26pm
Big Ben
Breaking News: Chemical Romance dissolved. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 23.03.13 3:57pm
Al OPecia
UK ordered NOT to expel Devil

British taxpayers are to continue funding the "luxury lifestyle on benefits" of a dangerous foreign criminal who is making some people's lives "hell" The ECHR in Strasbourg ruled that if we cast Mr...

1
Flash! Aa-aaaa! 23.03.13 3:27pm
Big Ben
“Diet lard” released to combat obesity epidemic

Lard companies have jumped on the socially responsible bandwagon by releasing “diet lard’, a new product for fat people who don’t really like salad but like lard. Diet lard is being produced...

22
Yikes 23.03.13 2:33pm
Paddy Berzinski
New Strain of Strep Hits South Africa

Doctors are reporting that the latest disease ‘out of Africa’, is quite choosy about its victims, and unfortunately has only one symptom and that is hardly noticeable. Nevertheless, there are...

4
Big Ben 23.03.13 2:28pm
Big Ben