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Fatima, 30, celebrates Silver Wedding Anniversary with her grandchildren 3
cinquecento 30.03.12 3:19pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
Murdoch ‘tweets’ show vulnerable side of a table-thumping, power-crazed bastard

The hearts of the nation have been touched by the tweets of a media mogul, which reveal a softer side to an empire-building megalomaniac. Rupert Murdoch has preferred to stay in the shadows in the...

30.03.12 3:11pm
Vertically Challenged Giant
Queues as motorists try to return unneeded petrol

We was had!...

beau-jolly 30.03.12 3:08pm
UK on cusp of a panicdemic

"It pandamonium out there, we'll all remember the great fuel non shortage of 2012" said one on looker...

simonjmr 30.03.12 2:52pm
Beauty pageant organisers overwhelmed by response....

[url=]What were they thinking?[/url]...

grumblechops 30.03.12 2:52pm
UK on verge of panic shortage 0
Iamthestig 30.03.12 2:43pm
Lord Coe congratulates Cameron on Olympian proportions of recent cock-ups 0
weematt 30.03.12 2:15pm
Captain G. Mainwaring (Home Guard Ret'd.) appointed Government panic czar.

In a hastily convened press conference a somewhat flustered Prime Minister David Cameron announced the immediate appointment of war hero George Mainwaring as the first UK Panic Czar., "With all the...

weematt 30.03.12 2:13pm
Petrol strike fears cause millions to cancel Easter visits to in-laws

British Telecom have revealed a surge in phone calls cancelling Easter visits to in-laws, The calls are believed to be linked to fears of a petrol strike giving the ideal opportunity to wriggle out...

Mandy Lifeboat 30.03.12 1:31pm
Mandy Lifeboat
'Role play' continues at Scotland Yard over MI6 agent found, "locked in room"

Police continue to search for clues into the case of a former MI6 agent who was found locked in a medium sized room. Police remain confused over the case as evidence suggests the door was locked from...

theadministrator 30.03.12 1:06pm
Report warns girls as young as five forced into ballet and violin classes 1
Duncan Biscuit 30.03.12 12:59pm
Man seen in tears outside his local Shell station

as he was told to fill up whenever he was passing...

Tomfinger 30.03.12 12:31pm
Total Wipeout to be replaced with cheaper version, Partial Wipeout. 0
Iscariot 30.03.12 12:25pm
"If Anchorman 2 doesn't happen, we'll look to do Anchorman 3", says Paul Rudd... 1
theadministrator 30.03.12 12:11pm
JD Sports unveil their own label 0
Theodore Sprangshaft 30.03.12 11:30am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Formula 1 team admits to panic buying of Petrov 3
Smart Alex 30.03.12 11:23am
Disgruntled man goes shopping for camouflage jacket

He Couldn't Find One!...

GillsImp 30.03.12 11:15am
President Galloway - We salute your indefatigabl...indefatagi....your energy! 0
Drylaw 30.03.12 11:13am
just read Monica Lewinski's biography..

It really sucks...

Theodore Sprangshaft 30.03.12 11:02am
Theodore Sprangshaft

Just pop them in an envelope (no need to wash!) along with your photo (for admin purposes only) and contact details for a free valuation! :-)...

Theodore Sprangshaft 30.03.12 10:52am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Grannies criticised for leaving scrap metal out for thieves

A new report released by Network Rail identifies the recent spate of cable thefts as being caused by elderly offender watchers leaving scraps of metal out for thieves. The 300 page report describes...

kimllfixit 30.03.12 10:30am
for the love of god..

The all new catholic priest child minding service....

Theodore Sprangshaft 30.03.12 10:28am
Theodore Sprangshaft
Police admit to speed cameras' total inability to detect amphetamine sulphate 3
Smart Alex 30.03.12 10:19am
Policeman sectioned after man announces "it's PC gone mad" 2
quango 30.03.12 10:17am
Total Wipeout cancellation first casualty of Anglo-Argentine tensions 0
simonjmr 30.03.12 10:15am
Scott's diary reveals they ate Captain Oats. 'We'll say he went out for a walk' 6
MADJEZ 30.03.12 10:13am
'Ugly and unpopular' boy who 'won't be missed' makes unexpected recovery

A very annoying boy, who's been in a coma for the past three days, has made an unexpected recovery that doctors and his family are calling both 'miraculous' and 'just typical'. After having been run...

Qoxiivi 30.03.12 10:11am
North Korea will intercept any interceptions on interceptions for interceptions

On the Taepodong - II rocket which is set for launch between 12th - 20th April, 2012. North Korean Defence Staff announced today that the 2 KT Nuclear Yield Rocket named, "The Peaceful Satellite"...

theadministrator 30.03.12 9:44am
Queuing for Petrol - F1 pit stops now last 45 minutes. More soon...

Fighting breaks out between pit crews after allegations of queue jumping., Squeegee squad sets up business in pit lane., Tanker Drivers' union receives "strange messages" from a Mr. B. Ecclestone.,...

ianrbland 30.03.12 9:42am
President al-Assad offers to bombard the Bradford spring 0
Duncan Biscuit 30.03.12 9:40am
Duncan Biscuit