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Man does equivalent of the M25 around his supermarket aisles

A shopper who pushed his shopping trolley the entire distance of the M25 around the aisles of his local Tesco - sometimes in the wrong direction - is recovering in hospital. Albert Bunn (52), who...

1
roybland 16.03.12 10:42pm
FlashArry
Church "grows a set" in Archbishop appointment

Following the resignation of Rowan Williams to take up the post of headmaster at Hogwarts, the actor and adventurer Brian Blessed has been appointed as the next Archbishop of Canterbury. The...

1
medici2471 16.03.12 10:37pm
FlashArry
HS2 to be scrapped in favour of enormous flume

Transport Minister Justine Greening today announced that The Government was scrapping the proposed HS2 rail link between The Midlands and London, in favour of the H2O - a massive "hydro-grav...

0
grumblechops 16.03.12 9:13pm
grumblechops
Cricketer scores runs playing cricket – world amazed!

India's Sachin Tendulkar has become the first player to score some runs since the last one and all in a game that meant a defeat against Bangladesh in Dhaka. The very well known and famous cricketer...

0
hardev 16.03.12 8:58pm
hardev
Bishop makes suprise sideways move 5
charlies_hat 16.03.12 8:19pm
dvo4fun
George Clooney arrested on handsomeness charges

The actor, director and activist George Clooney was arrested today outside the Sudanese Embassy on charges of aggravated male beauty. Clooney, 49 was, say police, demonstrating his attractiveness in...

0
nickb 16.03.12 6:42pm
nickb
Absolutely crap Archbishop reborn as brilliant ex-Archbishop 0
roybland 16.03.12 6:21pm
roybland
"PAEDO" gets attention

Research by the tabloid press has shown that articles liberally sprinkled with the word "PAEDO" in capitals immediately draw the eye, hence the regular use of such attention grabbing gimmicks. Not...

2
ianrbland 16.03.12 6:01pm
weematt
Rowan Williams resigns as Archbishop to spend more time as Mr Bean

Rowan Williams has announced he is resigning as archbishop of Canterbury to spend more time working on his popular comedy creation "Mr Bean". "It's been difficult to avoid the temptation of pulling...

0
apepper 16.03.12 5:37pm
apepper
Archbishop of Canterbury: wearing a cross does not offend non-Christians

as it makes conversation with Christians a lot easier to avoid...

0
John Ffitch-Rucker 16.03.12 5:05pm
John Ffitch-Rucker
U-Turn on Big Ben charges causes chaos on stairs.

no more to follow...

0
weematt 16.03.12 5:02pm
weematt
Clooney 2012 campaign launched by Sudanese Govt 0
simonjmr 16.03.12 4:51pm
simonjmr
Shock! fat Jean found in McDonalds. 0
wilkieone 16.03.12 4:35pm
wilkieone
Stars visible in night sky

for the first itme in thousands of years, stars never seen before will now be visible to the naked eye in our skies over the next few nights. USA, Nasa and the Uk have reached a joint agreement to...

0
wilkieone 16.03.12 4:32pm
wilkieone
Search engine 'BURGLE' launched

NedWeb, a web consultancy engaged by the Home Office to develop software that allows victims of crime to meet and confront the criminals who victimised them, has launched a new search engine called...

0
weematt 16.03.12 3:30pm
weematt
US/UK "special relationship" soured over regifting error

White House sources last night revealed that the table tennis table which UK Prime Minister David Cameron had given as an official gift to US President Barack Obama had been found to be still...

0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:27pm
Nails UK
Terry Pratchett "can't remember if he supports euthanasia any more" 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:19pm
Nails UK
World’s fattest man collapses and forms black hole

Keith Martin, at 58 stone (369 kg) the world’s heaviest man, collapsed yesterday in his bedroom forming a small black hole. One of his carers, Carmen Furbita, described how the tragedy unfolded....

0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:16pm
Nails UK
'Same sock' marriages will cure odd sock problems, scientists claim. 1
Not Amused 16.03.12 3:14pm
Not Amused
Eastenders measles jab storyline causes rash of complaints 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:14pm
Nails UK
New earth-like planet discovered at car boot sale 2
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:10pm
Nails UK
'I fucked your phone', Russell Brand tells photographer 0
jp1885 16.03.12 3:06pm
jp1885
Classical Brit Awards: Andre Rieu accused of fiddling result 0
Nails UK 16.03.12 3:04pm
Nails UK
Wardrobe inspector quits after beating from jealous husband

Britain’s only wardrobe inspector has announced that he is hanging up his tool after the ‘umpteenth’ beating from a jealous husband left him with several fractured ribs and serious facial...

14
jp1885 16.03.12 2:22pm
Gerontius
Chief Druid announces shock resignation

Aegberd Williams the controversial archdruid of Glastonbury startled the religious community today with the announcement that he will give up his role to take up the position as Master of St Olaf...

0
Lemon difficult 16.03.12 2:16pm
Lemon difficult
Hacking latest: Lord Leveson arrested.

Lord Justice Leveson was arrested late in the afternoon just as he was returning from horseriding near his Chipping Norton mansion. It is understood that he had been out riding with a group of...

0
weematt 16.03.12 1:51pm
weematt
Richard Dawkins to be new Archbishop of Canterbury

The general synod of the Church of England is expected to approve Richard Dawkins as the new head of the Church of England. A spokesman explained; "Whereas most of the candidates prevaricated over...

0
apepper 16.03.12 1:14pm
apepper
Ryanair win contract to supply Cameron with Eire-Force One jet 0
charlies_hat 16.03.12 1:04pm
charlies_hat
Did United and City throw Europa Cup to concentrate on title race?

No. they were beaten fair and square. Now move on...

0
Boutros 16.03.12 1:01pm
Boutros
Osborne - 50% rate cut - "Champagne's not getting any cheaper".

More [i]hic[/i] soon...

1
ianrbland 16.03.12 12:52pm
pere floza