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Drunk Swedish elk releases album after leaving The Priory 3
pinxit 3 years
Radio Telescope in US Radio Quiet Zone 'sucking in' Alien Diseases 1
Pagantroll 3 years

Thousands of residents of Green Bank, West Virginia are outraged after it is discovered that the world's largest radio telescope, which is located in the town, is attracting huge quantities of...

Applicants for Met Police Chief job detained overnight for further questioning 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Somali kidnap "Authentic" Thomas Cook excursion 0
grottymonty 3 years

Thomas cook have today defended the authenticity of their new range of back to basics excursions. "People no longer want to visit a tired old relic or swim with a captive dolphin, they want to see...

Research says no-one gives a toss where you were on day of global news event 3
ronseal 3 years

As people across the world prepare to put their personal spin on big global news event, shocking new statistics suggest they may be wasting their time. In 99 per cent of cases, nobody gives a toss...

City worker asked to donate for David Walliams' charity swim. Commuter says no. 3
wallster 3 years
Copyright victory means Cliff needn't crumble. 1
Boutros 3 years

EU Council officials' decision to extend copyright on sound recordings by a further 20 years was strongly influenced by Sir Cliff Richard's solemn promise to "never go near another recording studio,...

Lowest ever salt content Salt & Vinegar crisps rebranded as Vinegar Crisps 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Scottish nation licks lips as Hurricane Katia batters coastline 9
Screenie 3 years
Boundary Commission redraws constituencies map as cubist self portrait 0
simonjmr 3 years
Men charged in court after forcing people to live in Leighton Buzzard 1
Mr_Johno 3 years
Police confirm goldfish found dead on floor beneath bowl ‘left a note’ 1
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

A massive police operation over the suspected murder of Billy the goldfish has been called off after detectives found a suicide note. Billy’s owner, Owen Powell, had discovered the body of the...

Britain in shock as DFS sale ends 20
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Chef Still Haunted By Loss Of Souflees 5
Textbook 3 years

On the morning of September 11, 2001, top New York chef Wylie Dufresne was just putting the finishing touches to a fresh batch of souffles. "I was mixing up a bold chocolate and lime ganache while...

Slow Helpdisk Reponse Leads To Mass Deaths In Firey Inferno 1
Textbook 3 years

In the offices of Pilkington Paper Pushers on Tuesday, workers were characteristically calm and cool-headed when one of their collegue's PCs suddenly erupted in flames. Rather than fleeing madly from...

17 lost Liberal MPs triumpantly return from Brigadoon 0
simonjmr 3 years
Redundant council diversity officer struggling to find job in private sector 5
Runestone Cowboy 3 years

Derek Strachan, a man with 5 years experience as a community diversity officer, is struggling to apply his finely-honed skills in the private sector. 'I thought the private sector was going to take...

Guzzle Puzzle ad withdrawn over accusations of promoting rape 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Cadbury have withdrawn the advert for the latest addition to their new The Natural Confectionery Company range, Guzzle Puzzle, after receiving hundreds of complaints that it ‘glorified rape...

Subo sues Bebo over lowbrow promo photo 0
vertical 3 years Susan Boyle has threatened further legal action against Bebo for ignoring a court order, requiring removal of an unflattering childhood photo which was digitally inserted...

Tinker, Tailor, Shepherd's Pie: Secret M15 recipes published 0
nickb 3 years
Confusion at Andy Whitfield's funeral after mourners all claim to be Sparticus 0
exigo 3 years
Scientists claim to have 'seen the light' in fight against AIDS 3
Screenie 3 years

A group of scientists have edged a little closer to a discovery which they claim will massively reduce the spread of Aids, with the development of a serum that causes cats infected with the virus to...

Ronnie Corbett Really Is A Big Talent 4
Duff 3 years

Nation's favourite and loved-by-all funnyman, Ronnie Corbett, has chosen today to reveal a long-kept secret that close friends thought that he'd never share. In his forthcoming memoir, [i]Big Tales...

Obama Hires Dolemite As New Campaign Manager 11
Textbook 3 years

NOTE: If your life has as yet not been blessed by Dolemite and you are unaware of who he is, I urge you to watch this brief and informative movie trailer before reading the sub:...

UN mandates Middle Eastern restaurants standardize on taste of hummus 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Communications Union and National Trust agree to merge. 0
antharrison 3 years

To form David Cameron Appreciation Society...

358-page Vicker's report fails to state venue of next giant alcohol/coke event 0
antharrison 3 years

UK investment bankers are said to feel "Betrayed" that after reading a boring 358 page report from a bloke wearing glasses to find that the location of the next big champagne and cocaine piss-up has...

Ed Miliband bad for TV ratings 0
Mr_Johno 3 years

Analysis of recent television viewing figures has revealed that the appearance of Ed Miliband on TV screens is a big turn off for viewers. Ratings researcher Geoffrey Johnson explains the findings;...

Channel 4 abandons filming of My Big Fat Gypsy Chain-gang 0
ianslat 3 years
'Difficult casting' lands whale with central role in Happy Feet remake 0
Runestone Cowboy 3 years