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Tales from The Nut of the Wood 22
wallster 3 years

Good morning children, do you know who this is? Look at his white hair; his small, dark eyes, the way he sits on his bicycle, backpedalling furiously. Yes, that's right, it's Rupert the Bare Faced...

Study finds mixed metaphors 'Better than a kick in the teeth with a sharp stick' 5
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years
Consumers lament inconvenience of convenience fees 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Rebekah and Fergie to start new business based on self-hatred 12
nickb 3 years

Rebekah Brooks and the Duchess of York are set to exploit the similarities in their appearances and controversial public lives by joining forces to create a new line of beauty products. These will be...

NOTW did the Sheikh and hack and played your message back 9
ronseal 3 years

A new advertising jingle for the re-branded News of the World, not titled The Sun On Sunday, celebrates the paper's heritage in song. "We did the Sheikh and hack,' goes the ditty, "and played your...

Planet Earth designed by 5 year-old, explains Richard Hammond 12
3 years

After centuries of research by visionaries who have sometimes risked their lives when defending their theories, one man has revealed that science is no more complex than Lego. Richard Hammond, using...

Toxic Brooks Syndrome recognised as a proper disease 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Anna Friel spends more time being a mum on-screen than off 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Government plans final solution of the badger question 0
Christopher Frost 3 years
Inanimate objects seek path of least cooperability 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Man gets grief from Co-operative carrot cake 12
MrChigleysAunt 3 years
Arachnophobia Society website to close. 12
be reasonable 3 years
Trading Standards investigate complaints of Fig Rolls that don't... 0
Dick Everyman 3 years
All quiet on the Western front, report MGM Studios 3
SpankyMonkey 3 years
Equality groups rejoice as able bodied man qualifies for paralympics. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
We'll eat anyfin say the Japanese 0
Ranewsbiscuit 3 years

Though the consumption of shark's fin continues, in Japan there's now twice the supply - however 50% are mutant new growths. Other new offerings on the Surf n Yet More Surf menu are Shark's Three Ear...

Calais Novotel to be new face of News International as The Times is sold... 0
Ranewsbiscuit 3 years

to the Daily Star (more required - Ed)...

Flat Earth Society to go global 0
Ranewsbiscuit 3 years

(work in progress - ghost writers welcome!) George Lobe, Marketing Director of the Flat Earth Society says it's time the org went global. "Due to such innovations as Google Earth, around the world...

Murdoch 'I only said pious' 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Teapot in hot water for calling kettle ‘black’ 2
Dick Everyman 3 years
Ellis-Bextor questioned over dance floor murder 2
beau-jolly 3 years

but Groove recovering in hospital...

Acrimonious 'Moon and back' divorce trial concludes. 0
f0zz 3 years

Darren Hayes, former vocalist with Australian pop outfit, Savage Garden finally obtained a decree nisi at the high court today for what being was described as a 'string of broken promises' by his...

David Cameron advisors say, "Don't bother unpacking", when he gets back home 2
Ian Searle 3 years

His first question, "So how can we blame this on the Lib Dems?"...

Help for elderly people suffering from TourettesHeimers 6
FraserWords 3 years

Help may be at hand for millions of elderly people who can’t help saying what they’re thinking out loud because of the distressing effects of TourettesHeimers Disease., Doctors say a new...

Crisis at Scarborough Fair -stocks of parsley, sage, rosemary and thyme run low 0
Ian Searle 3 years
Murdoch attacker admits foam whacking 5
ianslat 3 years
Britain fears it could be next as Lord Sugar tells Italy 'You're fired' 4
Oxbridge 3 years

Britain, the popular but eccentric contestant on BBC's The EU Apprentice, said last night that it expects to be next to receive the bullet from Lord Alan Sugar, following some increasingly erratic...

'rejoice, don't be tyred and emotional' advises Winnie Mandela 0
pere floza 3 years
Harper Lee in Victoria Beckham biography deal, ‘To Kill a Posh Bird’ 0
Dick Everyman 3 years

Following the revelation by Victoria Beckham that her new baby was named after the author of her favorite book, 'To Kill a Mockingbird', Harper Lee has revealed that she has been secretly working on...

Rupert Murdoch repeatedly tells MPs how old he is 3
Vertically Challenged Giant 3 years

Rupert Murdoch has gained a modicum of public sympathy during his appearance in front of the Select committee after repeatedly telling MPs ‘I’m 80 years old you know’. MPs who were initially...