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Musicians appeal for Pussy to Putin 0
medici2471 02.08.12 4:14pm
Chinese Swimmer Fails Pak Choi Duck Noodle Soup Test 1
02.08.12 3:23pm
Surprise Gold in the artistic high wire event

for team BJ...

Rootin Tootin 02.08.12 1:40pm
Empty seats put down to "one guy who really smells", says Lord Coe. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 02.08.12 12:48pm
Badminton players forced to play goodminton 2
nickb 02.08.12 12:37pm
Boris nominated for Dope-on-a-Rope award

More soon So sorry, has anyone seen my coat?...

dvo4fun 02.08.12 12:20pm
Future Tory Leader To Be Selected By Participation in BBC TV's Total Wipeout

In the wake of London Mayor Boris Johnson's popularity boost amongst the voting public, following his 2 flags and a zip wire stunt at the 2012 Olympics, members of the Conservative party's...

Nowherefast 02.08.12 11:48am
Hospitals experiment with Quantitative Medicine

The NHS has confirmed it is to trial the controversial QM, or quantitative medicine initiative, at several sites across London in a bid to improve patient care. , 'It's a really powerful yet simple...

NewSuburbanDad 02.08.12 9:32am
Satan's early release from prison condemned as a 'diabolical liberty'. 0
wallster 02.08.12 9:28am
Peter Kay wins Olympic gold for his 'top bombing' dive 1
custard cream 02.08.12 8:10am
South West Trains hail 200th day of "Zero Empty Seats"

Transport provider South West Trains claimed the gold medal for ticket allocation today as it celebrated its 200th consecutive day with no empty seats. "In stark contrast to the misery that faces...

Golgo13 02.08.12 8:09am
Des Custard
Olympics: Week 1 Round-up

With almost one week gone of the London Olympics, you may have struggled to keep up with all of the news from the games, especially the ‘minority sports’. So we have saved you the time of having...

Perks 02.08.12 6:23am
Vertically Challenged Giant
Cameron prepares to give Putin tough talk over Syria. Custard Creams removed. 0
ginty 02.08.12 5:23am
Secret Putin plot to trump Queen by jumping without a parachute over London 0
ginty 02.08.12 5:19am
Al Gore denies he is dead, Vidal Sassoon keeps quiet 0
Quaz 01.08.12 10:29pm
Philips Idowu to miss Olympics because of sponsor infringement claim Panasonic

More soon Explanation:, Philips is an athlete and an electrical company - geddit?...

custard cream 01.08.12 10:04pm
Reclaim the Phones claim major success in India

An anonymous spokesman claimed a major success in cutting power to call centres over two days. A celebration is planned with an impromptu performance of John Cage's 4'33"...

middenview 01.08.12 9:42pm
Traces of silver found in Zara Phillips' saliva

More to follow...

apepper 01.08.12 9:00pm
nostra da mouse
Agile Boris wows crowds with reverse double flag & twin half-mast ariel display 2
ginty 01.08.12 8:02pm
Bradley Wiggins looks like Daman Albarn claims couch potato

Dolly Parton wannabee Claire Nixon from Derby, who has had her breasts enlarged at the cost of £4,500, paid for by her scrap metal dealer father is the first person to notice bradley wiggins and his...

Reg Herring 01.08.12 7:35pm
Reg Herring
European Court of Human Rights award Abu Qatada same rights as ZZ Top 0
The Masked Frog 01.08.12 6:59pm
The Masked Frog
Disqualified badminton players admit being inspired by Blackburn Rovers

More soon....

custard cream 01.08.12 6:23pm
custard cream
Osborne Disqualified For "Not Trying" 0
Mike Turbine-Hamilton 01.08.12 5:12pm
Mike Turbine-Hamilton
Olympic angling team delighted with double pike 0
Smart Alex 01.08.12 4:38pm
Smart Alex
Syria to Become More Newsworthy by Awarding Medals for Massacres, Atrocities 0
thisisall1word 01.08.12 3:25pm
Koreans disqualified for bringing a 10m Air Rifle to the 10m Air Rifle event

They're blaming the Chinese...

Rootin Tootin 01.08.12 3:20pm
Rootin Tootin
Eight sports thrown out of Olympics for 'being a bit shit'

I'm sure this has potential but the mojo has gone. Anyone want to take it up?...

Oxbridge 01.08.12 2:42pm
Cyclists expecting to be pushed all the way to the line. Investigation underway

More soon....

Not Amused 01.08.12 2:06pm
Not Amused
Olympic Fencing to be made more exciting by use of props

In a bid to make Olympic fencing more accessible to spectators, officials have announced a trial in which theatre-style props are to be introduced into the arena. Initially these props will include...

Smart Alex 01.08.12 1:29pm
Actual Size
Decline in newspaper sales blamed on giving them away for free

A new study by the London School of Economics has found strong evidence for the decline in newspaper sales. Professor Delman reported that, ‘It may not be obvious to the layman but if you sell...

Actual Size 01.08.12 1:20pm
Actual Size