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government warns of new strain of 'Flu 0
Bismarck 3 years

The governments chief medical officer today warned of a possible epidemic of a newly identified 'flu-like illness. The new strain, known as 26.12 typically becomes a problem on Boxing Day, causing...

Miliband accused of dropping an ‘e’ after calling coalition ‘a sham’ 2
Gerontius 3 years

More shite one-liners soon...

Vince Cable goes ballistic after being fired from the Cabinet 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Manchester City Council parking victims delighted with festive tickets 0
antharrison 3 years

Motorists falling-foul of Manchester City Council's parking regulations have rushed to report their delight with the Council's new range of festive parking tickets. 'At first when I saw that the...

For f**ks sake people, stop posting this barrage of shite one-liners - 2 31
Gerontius 3 years

You're dragging the place down...

Drugs free-for-all in Olympic arena... 1
Doylem 3 years

A spokesman for British Athletics and the International Olympic Committee read a prepared statement to a room full of journalists. “For many years now we’ve been waging a war against performance...

Bernstein named new F.A. chairman... 0
victory V 3 years

that should improve the quality of the music at half-time...

NEW PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE FOR 2012 EMERGING UNDER THE CONSTITUTIONALIST PARTY?? 2
Milo Malkavic Mendoza 3 years

DATELINE: December 22, 2010 - Yakima, WA FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE As I reported on December 16th about the rumor that David Johnston of Legend Freeway.com is going to run for the Presidency of United...

Vince Cable's 'Full Monty' In Front of All-Female Audience.... 2
Jesse Bigg 3 years

.Voted 'Best Naivety Play' of the Christmas season...

Spy Found Dead in Bag was into Bondage 2
Dun Dunkin 3 years

'We had no idea. It came as a complete surprise', said MI5 the National Intelligence Service...

Earthquake wipes Cumbria off the map... 2
Doylem 3 years

Cockermouth is a favourite destination for visitors, seduced by the enticing juxtaposition of ‘cock’ and ‘mouth’ in a single word, but the picturesque market town has taken quite a battering...

Cable declares war on all Ruperts. 2
dominic_mcg 3 years

Coalition cabinet minister and Lib Dem spokesman for ballroom dancing, Vince Cable has declared war on all Ruperts. Cable was reprimanded by the Prime Minister for his attitude towards Rupert...

Embarrassed office worker refuses to leave toilet cubicle. 7
dogwheels 3 years

A tense stand-off in a Luton office has entered its second hour, with an unnamed worker refusing to leave his toilet cubicle for fear of being identified. Eyewitnesses said the worker had entered...

Music industry:"It's OK to buy paedo music now Jacko's dead" 1
Matt T 3 years

Michael Jackson fans were relieved to be given the music industry’s blessing to rush out and buy his new album ‘Michael’ now that he’s a non-living paedophile. Some people had previously...

New iPhone app tells you which countries can hear your loud headphones 1
Dumbnews 3 years
Waitrose home delivery fails to meet expectation as lorry crashes into home. 0
DiY 3 years
Tony Blair to guest edit Ethical Warfare magazine 3
ronseal 3 years

Christian Zeal, publisher of Ethical Warfare magazine, has announced that Tony Blair will edit the January edition of the best selling monthly that celebrates justified genocide., 'It's a major...

Local council hails 'Posh Booze Empties' recycling scheme 5
Golgo13 3 years

An initiative announced by Kingston Borough council today promises to relieve thousands of hard-working recession-hit families from the shame of putting out budget-brand alcohol containers in their...

Vince Cable challenges Rupert Murdoch to a dance off. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Confused.com in sponsorship deal with Alzeimer researchers 1
simonjmr 3 years
BAA boss refuses bonus as salary already obscenely high 0
brownpaperreporter 3 years
Spread bet: the number of stitches that Joey Barton’s next victim will need... 0
Doylem 3 years
Fuck Verity ,A lot of have been through her ,but she remains true. 0
Malcum eggs 3 years
Yoko Ono says give peace a chance ,kill all Jews Muslims and Catholics 6
Malcum eggs 3 years

it`s what John would have wanted...

Government to spend hundreds of millions on snowploughs "to jinx it" 5
3 years

The government intends to invest hundreds of millions of pounds on snowploughs, gritters and salt supplies in a bid to "jinx" the chances of Britain experiencing another rough winter, it emerged this...

Cable Dismisses “Attention Seeking” Earthquake 0
De-scribe 3 years

Business Secretary Vince Cable has criticised the small earthquake that hit parts of Cumbria last night for “blatant attention seeking”. In a statement Mr Cable stated “It is typical of...

The Official Salted Snack of the 2012 Olympics: an announcement... 3
Doylem 3 years

*** Press release, embargoed until January 1, 2011 *** With the London Olympics being held next year, these are exciting times for the salted snack sector of the ‘finger food’ industry. Transco...

Kings of Leon advised; 'Oh, Your bus is on fire.' 4
wallster 3 years
Cumbrian Woman Faking The Earth Moving Is Felt In Neighbouring Counties. 0
IABP 3 years
Cable to be replaced by Mobile Phone 0
simonjmr 3 years

Dashed if I know what the dot they are on about said an antiquated Cable. More soon...