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Police hunt south London gangsters after drive-by Tooting. 3
The Paper Ostrich 3 years
Briton killed in Japanese earthquake - death toll reaches 1 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

A Briton was killed in the recent Japanese earthquake, bringing the death toll in Japan to 1., There is a rumour that something might have happened to some other people there, but as they're all...

All future disasters to be graded by a BBC reporter fame index 1
greg various 3 years

Kate Adie saved for the Apocalypse...

Meltdown alert at Yorkie Bar factory. 0
DiY 3 years
Tesco to roll out “Lonely Meals” 7
beau-jolly 3 years

Following a successful trial of the “Curry Breakfast” variety in Cheshire, Supermarket giant Tesco announced today that it is rolling out its new range of “Lonely Meals” across all its stores...

Beliebers Repair Hole in Ozone Layer 2
LizzyG 3 years

Canadian scientists announced today that the massed fan base of pop-phenomenon Justin Bieber was having a reparative impact on the ozone layer. Studies have shown that where large groups of teenage...

Foreign Secretary William Hague wobbles in Japan earthquake UK help offer. 2
DiY 3 years
Lord Coe apologises for tomorrow's website failure. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"Olympic tickets go on sale on-line tomorrow", he explained, "and we expect the site to go tits-up at 9:02am due to unexpected demand. But if you all try to log on at once, it's really all your fault...

Fukushima Nuclear Plant goes straight to number one on double entendre chart. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Japanese used to disaster after years of Godzilla attacks. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Puccini pub opera beats Brahms and Liszt to Olivier Award 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Japan crisis sparks rush to buy high-quality Blu-Ray players 0
Darkbill 2.0 3 years

The devastation in Japan, following the recent earthquake, is driving large numbers of British shoppers to rush out and buy high-quality, but comparatively low-cost, Blu-Ray players. Japan is the...

After using brain training machine, man realises he doesn't need it 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

Dave Henessey, 33, from Bath, said today that his braining training machine enabled him to realise he didn't need a brain training machine., 'I did all the pointless exercises, like what colour...

Goodwin issues injuction against being called banker. Don't tempt us says public 0
Skylarking 3 years
Sarah Ferguson wins "3rd most famous person called 'Fergie'" award for 5th year 0
Skylarking 3 years
Gaddaffi memo "since Japan we can now bury some bad news" unveiled 0
simonjmr 3 years
RSBP OFFERS "UNRESERVED APOLOGY" 0
3 years

after Birdwatching guided tour of Minsmere Reserve for local Cerebral Palsy Group was billed as 'wheelchair Twitchers' event. Bob Flemming for RSPB Minsmere sought to calm the situation in a joint...

PG Tips Extra Strong Tea Bags 0
3 years

"an environmental catastrophe waiting to happen", claimed an 'American woman' yesterday...

Cheltenham race-fix probe: Jockeys suspected of taking kick-backs 0
pinxit 3 years
Yes, I agree 4
bonjonelson 3 years
Man who 'constantly reinvents himself' exposed as Jeffrey Archer 0
ronseal 3 years

One of the heroes of Britain's media, feted for his ability to 'constantly re-invent himself' has been exposed as the latest form of Jeffrey Archer., The discovery of the link between 'constantly...

Seniors knitting club ladies reminisce about their times as young drunken sluts 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Berlusconi, His Pacemaker, Charged with Battery 0
Q William Bacon 3 years

Berlusconi and His Pacemaker Both Charged with Battery...

Milliband says Britain must withdraw Facebook friend status from Col Gaddaffi 1
ronseal 3 years

Ed Milliband has called for global unilateral action against Libya in keeping with Britain's status in the world. On advice from the London School of Economics, Milliband has...

Alex Salmond tells his people not to worry about the atrocious weather as 0
markmypaper 3 years

Gorbals warming is on it's way...

Clegg Adamant 0
Bismarck 3 years

The deputy Prime Minister, Nick Clegg was adamant he hadn't changed today. 'I haven't changed ' he said, 'its politics thasat has changed. When asked about his U-Turn on tuition fees he remarked 'We...

Sex addicts to be officially classified as Fucking Loonies 0
greg various 3 years

So they'll be able to get time to have it off in lieu...

Muslim/gypsy integration could lead to shortage of tabloid moral panic stories 0
ronseal 3 years
MoneySaving Web Sites Slammed by Watchdog 3
3 years

In a damming report yesterday, the Watchdog bucked convention and "named names" in addition to citing actual examples of upheld complaints. The tip for "saving 100% of the £342 price of Nikon...

California Coast Braces for Totally Gnarly Tubular Awesomeness 4
Q William Bacon 3 years