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Border control concerns re-surface after two men in panda suits claim asylum 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Poets’ Corner memorial gives Ted Hughes fans something to crow about 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Edinburgh Zoo takes 2 pandas on a 10 year loan after Tevez fails to agree terms 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Teens concerned about "faxting epidemic" among parents 0
Dumbnews 3 years

Teenagers to face spot checks 7
nickb 3 years
Ex-Man Utd player's friend's mum's cousin sent to prison 1
kga6 3 years

in an otherwise uninteresting 'news' report...

Knock-off Drugs to Save NHS 1
MT Bucket 3 years

David Cameron has announced that untested drugs will be used to save the NHS by reducing costs. It is proposed that patients will be given access to the drugs up to one year earlier than the present...

Smokers "spoil" Clarkson's bicycle tour of Chinese vegetarian eco-sanctuaries 1
Username 3 years
Tescos 'dead bird' campaign launches well- "everyone will want one" by Christmas 0
Username 3 years
Chinese disappointed by Clarkson-Panda swap 10
nickb 3 years

The arrivals of the Pandas Sweetie and Sunshine delighted the Scots. But the Chinese are said to be puzzled and a little saddened by the reciprocal arrival of a rare and temperamental British...

Survey finds most Facebook users think most stuff friends share is crap 0
Dumbnews 3 years
NHS being sold on Ebay is not a 'sick' joke 5
Perks 3 years

In a last gasp bid to fund the NHS, the nations most loved institution is to be auctioned off to the highest bidder on Ebay. It is hoped that the reserve price of £12.5 million will cover the cost...

Confusion as World of Warcraft Pandaren’s arrive at Edinburgh Zoo 0
Immunis 3 years

Officials at Edinburgh Zoo have admitted that they have been hoodwinked by an online gaming firm when the two Pandas they were expecting turned out to be a pair of World of Warcraft characters. It...

Osborne attack on Clarkson: “he’s not done enough to earn his unpopularity” 0
Aberdeen Correspondent 3 years

The Chancellor of the Exchequer, George Osborne, appeared genuinely angry in a TV interview at the weekend when asked about the unpopularity of Jeremy Clarkson. Mr Osborne was asked whether the...

BBC announce crackdown on annoying use of the annoying word 'crackdown' 2
dvo4fun 3 years
Ferrari sponsor 2012 UK Crash Map 0
medici2471 3 years
Nissan delighted by foreign car safety demonstration 0
medici2471 3 years
Premier Inn executive room mini-bars to feature mini lap-dancers 0
pinxit 3 years
Children's card games face snap inspections 0
nickb 3 years
Britain in Blame Supply Crisis 1
MT Bucket 3 years

The government has announced that Britain has for the first time experienced a critical shortage of blame. The commodity is usually widespread, especially amongst Politicians and readers of the Daily...

NHS Patients to Replace Lab Animals 0
MT Bucket 3 years

Anti-vivisectionists are torn tonight by the announcement by David Cameron that NHS Patients will have the right to get access to experimental drugs up to one year before they are available to the...

Study finds extreme viewpoints reveal more about the person than the issue 0
Dumbnews 3 years
New Japan appeal for 'deserving wealthy' after multiple Ferrari pile-up 0
pere floza 3 years
Prince of Wales arrested following stamp-licking 'incest' charge. 1
kimllfixit 3 years
HSBC to launch "dodgy bank product" insurance cover for only £9.99 a month 0
hansens-scar 3 years

High Street bank, HSBC, has launched a new insurance to protect investors from the cost of mis-sold financial products. Speaking at the launch of the product, known informally as "Vunera-buy" UK...

"Up to £25 Christmas tip quite legal" say Postal workers "But no cheques please" 2
dvo4fun 3 years

More later...

Essex fly-over unveiled as training location for Olympic shot-putters 1
hansens-scar 3 years

Sebastian Coe has hailed the preparations for next year's Olympics to be a great success after several "yoof" were seen throwing concrete blocks from motorway fly-overs. "We said we were going to...

Ofsted declare "Satisfactory" schools to be "Unsatisfactory" 1
hansens-scar 3 years

New head of Ofsted, Sir Michael Willishaw, has declared war on "coasting" schools by stating that Satisfactory is not satisfactory. In a similar twist of linguistic logic he has also ruled that...

' contemporary art goes missing' 1
artistnealehowells 3 years

'you could have swore it was there when i left, this was the statement that night watchman derek earthenware told police when there was a reported art theft at the tate modern last night, 'how on...

Security fears for MOD after list of their Secret Santas found left on a train 0
Ian Searle 3 years