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Pink drags Jordan by her hair for animal cruelty 0
3 years

Following a film shoot where Jordan put hair extensions on a horse, Pink is purported to have jetted over to the location, socked Jordan in the jaw, glued her hair extensions to the horse's mane and...

'Elf N Safety prevents Rapture from taking place 0
3 years

Due to lack of scaffolding being erected in time to assist believers in being propelled to Heaven and not enough mattresses on the ground for when God realises he's accidentally included Tony Blair...

Harold Camping rushed to hospital with a rupture. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

"I was nearly right", he told reporters. "The words are very similar."...

Newsreaders relieved at eruption of Iceland's Grimsvotn volcano 0
gaijintendo 3 years

(something about Eyjafjallajokull)...

Vicky Pryce 'has photos of Chris Huhne throwing cat into wheelie bin'... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Superinjunction prevents reporting of those claimed by the rapture 0
simonjmr 3 years

But Ryan Giggs not one of them More soon...

Cable warns of end of the world 1
roybland 3 years

no more soon...

Rapture ruptured as Jesus fails to turn up 0
paul_prude 3 years

American Christian radio broadcaster Harold Camping and his band of merry madmen are said to be furious with Jesus Christ for once again failing to show for a gig. The 89-year old doomsday prophet,...

Christian scientists claim dinosaurs were killed off by a velocirapture 3
bonjonelson 3 years
“Snob Walk” a Massive Success Highlighting the Plight of the Idle Rich 0
Deimos 3 years

Following the successes of the “Slut Walk” then the achievements of the “Slob Walk”...

Footballer to sue ‘water-cooler’ company 1
Milo Shame 3 years

Lawyers for a premiership footballer have been instructed to sue the owners of ‘Aqua-Chill’, a leading office water supplier for the Luton area, as the placement of water-coolers encourages...

Unite Union threatens Lib Dem voters with legal action over negligence... 0
Jammydodgers 3 years

Thousands of alleged Liberal Democrat voters awoke this morning to demands for hundreds of pounds in immediate payment or threats of subsequent court action over alleged negligence and complicity in...

Charismatic Leader ridiculed after predicted AV landslide fails to happen 0
Ian Searle 3 years

And followers aren't lifted to heaven, er, government...

Amazon tribe with no sense of time 'frequently referee at Old Trafford' 0
rickwestwell 3 years
Ryan Giggs defends scoring record this season 4
rickwestwell 3 years

Stung by criticism from the media that his performances this season have been 'anonymous' and 'lacking commitment', Manchester United's free-scoring star Ryan Giggs has launched a fierce...

Ahmadinejad: Europe stealing Iran's rain... 0
be reasonable 3 years

to make lemon drizzle cakes. I found it impossible to think of anything funnier than the original Telegraph headline. How someone that insane could hold power anywhere is deeply disturbing...

Lord Voldemort sues Twitter 0
rickwestwell 3 years

More soon. [Please tell me this hasn't been done. I daren't write it up into an FP because it seems too obvious]...

Superinjunction whistle-blower to remain anonymous. More soon. 1
dominic_mcg 3 years
Christians await the return of Jesus. Robert Powell is advised to stay indoors. 3
dominic_mcg 3 years
Amazonian tribe with no sense of time offered position at First Great Western. 0
MC One R 3 years
Blondie looking forward to royalties for news montages. More soon. 0
MC One R 3 years
Rooney hooker"i was just so ashamed" 0
pumpernickle 3 years

A high court judge today removed a gagging order preventing the press from publishing details of which prostitute had slept with Wayne Rooney.Mr.Justice Holbert said"It was in the public interest.",...

IMF boss claims $1 million bail as incidental expenses. 1
MADJEZ 3 years

More soon. PS It's good to see the former head of the IMF can lay his hands on $1million at short notice...

Cameron guarantees end of world 0
antharrison 3 years

2012 budget...

Ryan Giggs scores with a back pass 0
antharrison 3 years
Ryan Giggs unlikely to be raptured 0
bonjonelson 3 years
Government's £142,000 'digital tsar' over-budget and 2 years late 2
3 years

The government's new 'digital tsar' is over-budget and nearly 25 months behind schedule, it was revealed today. Originally planned as a cost-efficient cross between Robocop and The Borg, the final...

Combination antiperspirant/deodorant voted 'greatest scientific breakthrough' 8
rickwestwell 3 years

A survey of leading scientists, journalists and opinion-makers has found that of the great scientific advances of the last hundred years, none has been as valuable to humanity as the groundbreaking...

Courts introduce 'Pooper-Injunction' for the incontinent. 0
MADJEZ 3 years
Explosion in Glasgow pie factory, 3.1415927 dead 22
virtuallywill 3 years

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