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Physicists discover the "milliband": wavelengths of light between which policies 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

become invisible...

2012 Olympics delayed by 1 month. 0
Tammy Flugh 3 years

Countdown clock stopped so that nobody will notice...

Police hunt for leet haxors after drive-by w00ting 0
bonjonelson 3 years

if you don't understand this, you're too old. Sorry!...

Police hunt George Galloway after drive-by shouting. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Police hunt James Galway after drive-by fluting. More bassoon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Teenagers to receive sleep training in schools, 23 hours a day insufficient. 0
DiY 3 years
SWAT team called in to stop fly tipping. 4
Ian Searle 3 years
Lady in Hampshire experiences orgasm when buying half price washing line 1
OldThingy 3 years

Including pegs, green, yellow, blue and ping., Husband is so proud and says “she can now hang out her knickers to dry”, Lots more to come...

Shower of Bastards 7
3 years

Just as Germans come to terms with their WW2 conduct, newly commissioned findings indicate that, far from being blameless in the appalling conduct, most Germans were "A Shower of Bastards"...

London Olympics organisers red faced as only 2012 tickets go on sale 0
simonjmr 3 years
Spooner arrested after drive shy booting 3
beau-jolly 3 years

the craken wakes, mwahahahah...

Sex-on-duty policeman has mixed feelings about being banged up 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Sarkozy demands to know why Paris 2012 tickets have yet to go on sale 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Swaziland's Western Aid 2011, 2012 can now be paid direct to Mercedes Benz 0
3 years

folling a landmark agreement with Oxfam. "Delays should be a thing of the past" said Amber Geddings, Oxfam's Communications Manager...

Walmart-Asda Rolls Out it's USA-Style Deep South Comfort Range. 3
3 years

Hoping to steal a march over it's High Street Rivals, Walmart-Asda has introduced a sizeable range of 'Deep South Comfort' Readymeals. Although little known in the UK, these sumptuous Southern...

Russian brides ‘should not be left on worktop’ 0
NewSuburbanDad 3 years

A south London insurance firm confirmed yesterday it had disciplined a junior actuary after his part-time franchise activities triggered complaints from colleagues. ‘We had no moral issue with Mr...

Cabinet to discuss stable-door policy following bolting of horse 0
beau-jolly 3 years
Western governments consider air strikes against London newsagent 1
The Paper Ostrich 3 years

Foreign Secretary William Hague has chaired an emergency meeting of Western governments in London to try to agree a programme of Western air strikes against Sanjeev Patel, 53, a newsagent from west...

Cameron sends Clegg and Hague on fact-finding tour of Japan's nuclear plants 1
John Wiltshire 3 years

David Cameron announced today that he is sending Nick Clegg and William Hague on a fact-finding tour of Japan's nuclear power stations., 'It's vitally important,' he said, 'that we find out the...

2012 TICKET TOUTS ALREADY SELLING AT UP TO 90% BELOW LIST PRICE 0
3 years
Residents of Kenyan slum run sponsored fast to raise awareness about pet obesity 2
Danny 3 years

The shocking study by the PDSA that over a third of dogs in the UK are overweight, and half will be overwidght by 2012, has prompted people in Kibera slum to help raise awareness on the dangers of...

Government cuts - homeless to be issued with cats, rather than dogs 0
John Wiltshire 3 years

In a move which will no doubt cheer the hearts of all right-thinking people, David Cameron has announced that from the beginning of April, homeless people will be issued with a cat as a companion,...

Michael Sheen to star in biopic "What Charlie, Sheen did next?" 0
simonjmr 3 years
Night time blackout on Midsomer streets. DCI Barnaby sent to make an arrest. 0
charlies_hat 3 years
Rod Stewart to play a series of controversial naked charity concerts... 0
AJT 3 years

The aim is to raise funds for the Japanese families displaced due to the radiation leaks from the Fukushima Daiichi plant. The series of live shows will be called "The Exposed Rod"...

Cheltenham Festival gate-crashed by confused hippies 0
greg various 3 years

with odds at 33 to 1...

Ray Davies asked to consider renaming 2011 Meltdown festival. 0
simonjmr 3 years
Government to introduce Unnecessary Signs Ahead road sign - 2 30
John Wiltshire 3 years

The government has announced that a new road sign will shortly be appearing on Britain's roads, warning motorists of unnecessary signs ahead., The Transport minister, Keith Brown, said at a press...

Arsey Gangsta sought after drive by sh*ting 0
3 years
After making millions with the help of slum dwellers Danny Boyle gives back 0
markmypaper 3 years

to the families,with 5 fire extinguishers and a safety pamphlet from The top fire station in Glasgow.He admits he is no hero and it's what any Scotsman that had exploited children and had millions...