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Tesco sales rise as consumers see futility in shopping anywhere else 0
MC One R 3 years

"Give it up" said a spokesman, "We own your ass now."...

Cameron hints at Afghan pull-out 0
MC One R 3 years

"We will go through Iran"...

Graduate Opportunities Booming at Al-Qaida PLC 0
Ablative Fabsolute 3 years

Figures released this morning reveal a 23% increase in graduate employment in the international terrorism sector, suggesting a surprising market resilience for mass murder and carnage despite...

Child abuse rises sharply after Facebook users change profile pictures back 0
Dumbnews 3 years
Management School Rowing Events 2
Hunter F. Thompson 3 years

[url=]CHRONICLES [/url] describe how a rowing contest which took place in 1994 between the LSE MBA School team and...

Near escape at Basildon shop as Santa Claus survives being ripped apart by kids 0
Basil_B 3 years

Santa Claus or this case middle aged ex civil servant John Clark had to run for his life today after having 50 over excited minors stampede into his Grotto based at the Basildon branch of Home and...

Sussex Pig Farmer Bemused by Muslim Death threats… 2
Dexter 3 years

Bill Chipping, 64, a pig-farmer from Robertsbridge, Sussex, today professed himself to be stunned by a spate of death threats that have been posted on Jihadist websites., When asked what could have...

Qatar win boosts 2026 World Cup hopes for Isle of Wight... 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Olympics: Boris explains that Fifa officials will sleep in Dorchester. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Super-fast teletext planned for Isle of Wight 4
exigo 3 years
Lib Dems simultaneously condemn, and join in with, student fees protests. 0
deskpilot3 3 years
Robert Mugabe awards work on next Zimbabwe election to Fifa. 0
deskpilot3 3 years

More sour grapes soon...

Table football-X-factor version launched,:Suboteo 12
Mr.3374 3 years

Wish I had photoshop...

Lib Dems hold Countdown studio sit-in to protest at late student coursework. 0
Ian Searle 3 years
‘We are tired of war’ say Brits 0
Gerontius 3 years

A survey carried out by the BBC reveals a growing number of people living in the UK feel attacks against the citizens of Afghanistan are becoming increasingly justified., The poll found 87% of...

Uk Importing Kremlin spies after Cambridge says they have run out. 0
Dun Dunkin 3 years

One Don, with a wistful look in his eye, said "Its not like the old days when the brightest and best all wanted to be traitors. However there is a ray of hope in that at least if a Lib Dem calls you...

Arrested Julian Assange turns out to be cleverly-disguised mannequin. 0
petebrown 3 years

They seek him here; they seek him there. @petebnewsagency...

Naughtie dreading interview with Will Banker and Frank Ducking. More soon. 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years
Man not sure if the women in ‘Thai Lesbian Sluts’ are really women at all... 2
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Man not sure if the women in 'Tied Lesbian Sluts' are really into bondage... 1
Dexter 3 years
Thompson: More programmes, less quality 2
Alixir 3 years

The freezing of the licence fee for the next six years will result in more repeats, dross reality tv, and mobile uploads in order to "give a ITV a fighting chance to achieve better viewer ratings",...

Council uses health at work laws to stop prostitutes smoking on street corners 5
brownpaperreporter 3 years

Councillors in Walsall officially declared street corners as designated places for work for prostitutes and have banned them from smoking whilst touting for business Our reporter interviewed Janet...

Raoul Moat 'Not Quite Ready' to be a Quiz Question 1
De-scribe 3 years

Insufficient time has elapsed for crazed Northumbrian gunman Raoul Moat to be used as a Pub Quiz question, a report suggests. "Its just too soon", said Mike Robinson, General Secretary of the...

Billy Bragg finally gets song that suits his voice... 0
Doylem 3 years
Russian to host crime world cup finals after back room fix by THIEFA 0
StoopyDeGunt 3 years

After extensive lobbying by Mickey Foreman, Reggie Adams and Ronnie McVicar, London looked certain to win the rights to host the next crime world cup finals. But they obviously hadn't done enough to...

Mike Ashley explains why Chris Hughton got the sack... 1
Doylem 3 years

“Chris is a decent and honourable man, who won promotion, at his first attempt, from the Championship back into the Premier League. But this is Newcastle United, the finest club in la la land, so...

BBC defends showing Panorama voting-fix documentary 3 days before X-Factor final 2
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Man not sure if the women in ‘Lesbian Sluts’ are really lesbians at all... 0
Doylem 3 years
Gordon Brown’s book: "I was Prime Minister, you know, I really was”... 0
Doylem 3 years

In his new book, the ex-premier attempts to remind the British public about a period which, though very recent, has been expunged from almost everyone’s memory. The title will feature photographs...

Bob gets the needle and asks “What’s in a name?”... 0
Doylem 3 years

Having your girlfriend’s name tattooed on your arm can be a hostage to fortune, but Bob Evans has been lucky. After Jan blew him out, his next three girlfriends came along in a convenient sequence...