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Elderly Woman Found Outdoors in Snow Stating the Bleeding Obvious 2
De-scribe 3 years
All Lorries to be Fitted With Anti-Jackknife System 6
IABP 3 years

[and to take Stan's Test]...

Hugh Laurie stolen during House break-in. 0
MC One R 3 years
Tabloids instructed to cover UK overnight in blanket of excruciating puns 0
MC One R 3 years

Sources say that the UK tabloid press are under instruction to ensure that every headline, sub-headline and byline in tomorrow's papers has at least one horrendous pun crow-barred into it, win or...

Government plans to appease rebelling students have been put in place today. 0
DiY 3 years

Education Secretary Michael Gove is confident that an offer of free bumper packs of coloured felt tip pens and that Mummy and Daddy won’t row on Christmas day will be accepted...

Wikileaks reveal that wikileaks leak information 0
Basil_B 3 years
NHS died last night.... 0
DiY 3 years

..as no cardiology consultant was available...

Man from Gt Yarmouth dives.. 0
DiY 3 years

into the shallow end of the gene pool and breaks neck...

Norwich to be setting for Addams Family Spin-Off. 4
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

Your Sister is your Mother, Your Father is your Brother, Your screwing one another, The Norfolk Family...

Nobody available to rebut Royal College claim out-of-hours care is inadequate 1
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Mental Health Services Structure is ‘Madness’ Claims Watchdog 0
De-scribe 3 years

The Mental Health watchdog has criticised the way that patient services are delivered across the UK. Jeff Bloom, Chairman of OFFROCKER claimed that the duplication of effort across local authorities...

Sea of Immigrants Eroding 10metres of Britain's Coastline Each Year, says Mail 1
IABP 3 years
New winter driving test to be introduced in time for next summer. 7
Stan Laurel 3 years

With the country’s roads at a virtual standstill in the icy grip of another Arctic winter, the Government has announced that the revised driving test, designed to examine candidates’ ability to...

Zurich taxi driver rejects bribe to take England World Cup delegates to Dignitas 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Violence, flares and perms at Birmingham 70’s football revival night 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
Equal parenting report author thanks wife for caring for kids while he wrote it 0
Duncan Biscuit 3 years
NASA: 'Alien life could exist right under our noses'... 0
Dexter 3 years

using 'Movember' as a pretext for colonisation, said a spokesman. He continued "If you wake up in the morning and find your moustache has moved 3/4" to the side, don't wake it up by drinking coffee...

Oxo launched on the stock exchange... 6
Dexter 3 years

by gold trader who misspelt 'bullion' as 'buillon'. More soon...

Lib-Dem MPs Break Yet More Promises 15
De-scribe 3 years

The litany of broken promises by Liberal Democrat MPs expanded yet further yesterday as it emerged that Education Minister Sarah Teather MP has broken a pledge to take her turn on the school run. ...

'Life as we don't know it'discovery could prove existence of 'spawn of Thatcher& 0
arflaethel 3 years

WikiLeaks: William Hague said he, David Cameron and George Osborne ' use arsenic in their metabolism' NASA has sent the internet into a frenzy after it announced an "astrobiology finding" that...

Gordon Brown was British Prime Minister reveals wikileaks 3
jm 3 years
Redbridge council sends out parking fines to stranded M25 drivers 0
acwanaut 3 years
Cornish Ski Resorts Open 0
arflaethel 3 years

But nothing else...

Wikileaks: US Diplomats were ordered to spy on themselves in the 1990s 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[more soon]...

Wikileaks forced to move off of Amazon servers after gift voucher expires. 0
bonjonelson 3 years

[More soon]...

Wikileaks to publish "Naughty List" on December 23rd 0
Andrew 3 years
Olympic Field Events Should be Brought More Up To Date. Discus. 11
De-scribe 3 years
North Korea to invade South "because of its boring shape". 0
FormerlyAlOPecia 3 years

North Korea announced today that it would be invading South Korea because it found it "topographically uninteresting". A spokesman for the reigning "Dynasty of the High Loon" said today "we strongly...

“I will fight on”, says Audley Harrison... 2
Doylem 3 years

“Even though the only way I’ll get a bout, having been twatted by David Haye, is to stand in the ring and punch myself in the face. Who knows there may be an audience for [i]that[/i]”...

Adenine, Cytosine and Guanine are in my DNA, say Crick and Watson 0
ronseal 3 years

Customer service is not in your DNA, a pair of old scientists have claimed. Controversially, they argued that unpopular quantities, scuh as adenine, guanine and cytosine are in your DNA., Absolute...