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Man with 7 shiny pebbles included in Isle of Wight rich list. More soon. 0
dominic_mcg 21.04.13 8:57pm
Movie about dropped camera, Olympus Has Fallen, proves to be a dud 0
custard cream 21.04.13 8:53pm
custard cream
Emergency services worker finds flourescent cream cures embarrassing Hi Viz itch 2
Dick Everyman 21.04.13 8:45pm
Dick Everyman
Latest offer from Tesco.

Buy a very large supermarket store in the UK and get a convenience store in America free. And clubcard points...

deskpilot3 21.04.13 8:44pm
Britain granted £1bn loan from China for Chinese earthquake relief fund. 2
Lucy4 21.04.13 8:40pm
Man fails to connect with step son despite McDonald's trip

‘He just sat eating his Happy Meal, he barely even made eye contact,’ claimed local man Tommy Frank. ‘I’ve been trying so hard to be a father to him but he kept rejecting me, so when I saw...

Hooch 21.04.13 8:37pm
Traces of horse DNA found in Branislav Ivanovic's arm. More soon 0
21.04.13 8:34pm
Welsh Independence derailed by firewater, beads and measles-infested blanket 0
Ironduke 21.04.13 7:23pm
Operation Yewtree arrests man for "improper use of stylus" 0
sydalg 21.04.13 7:02pm
Reddy Brek revealed as FBI new weapon against crime

Under the Serious Crimes Memorandum of Understanding the UK government is shipping thirty tons of Reddy Brek to Boston. The porrige-based technology has led to prompt arrests for the past four...

Squudge 21.04.13 6:45pm
Marathon rhinos still being killed for their tusks, This running season, at least 20 rare marathon rhinos will be killed by poachers hoping...

nickb 21.04.13 6:39pm
Lady swaps make-up bag for real bag 0
Smart Alex 21.04.13 6:31pm
Smart Alex
Disappointment for 72 virgins as they are stood down in Paradise. More soon. 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:19pm
Al OPecia
Medical drama as chihuahua mistook owners "fetch" command for "felch". More 0
Al OPecia 21.04.13 6:16pm
Al OPecia
Garrulous train manager shunted into quiet zone

Train manager Jim Murdoch's epic announcements to passengers on the 08:05 service from Penzance to Glasgow have got him moved to an overnight service after complaints. 'I thought passengers...

roybland 21.04.13 5:59pm
FA to review rules on cannibalism and vampirism after latest Suarez incident 0
Squudge 21.04.13 5:54pm
Army sentries told hi-viz jacket with camouflage a contradiction in terms. 0
MADJEZ 21.04.13 5:38pm
FBI to use Thames Valley chopper's thermal imaging from now on.

After scouring a Boston suburb all day it took a phone call from a member of the public pin-pointing the exact location of the suspect. Only then were police able to show a clear image of the man...

MADJEZ 21.04.13 5:34pm
Mans touching anecdote about his verruca treatment wins future of NHS debate

Critics of waste in the NHS were well and truly silenced in a BBC Question Time debate, when an audience member revealed that he'd visited a hospital for verruca treatment - and couldn't praise...

ronseal 21.04.13 5:01pm
Biting is a show of friendship in Uruguay says Saurez 0
Hooch 21.04.13 4:45pm
Suarez announced as new judge for 'The great British bake off'

More of these soon I am sure...

Not Amused 21.04.13 4:40pm
Not Amused
Chris Huhne forces ex wife to run London Marathon on his behalf

Currently banged up former cabinet member Chris Huhne has cajoled his ex wife Vicky, into taking his place in the London marathon on his behalf, according to reports. Huhne was due to compete in...

Gary Stanton 21.04.13 4:27pm
Gary Stanton
Three 'blind' mice lose disability benefits in welfare crackdown

The three blind mice made famous in the popular nursery rhyme have been stripped of their disability benefits, the Department for Work and Pensions confirmed today. 'Following a reassessment for the...

ianslat 21.04.13 2:56pm
Bahrain Grand Prix Unhindered By Human Rights.

The 2013 Bahrain Grand Prix has been successfully completed with nary a mention of democracy, oppression, human rights, murder or torture. Reigning champion Sebastian Vettel, who last year stated...

sredni vashta 21.04.13 2:11pm
sredni vashta
Gulp this down, patients told

Controversial measures drawn up by local government with the urging of central government has applied force upon regional authorities to take up the scheme. Patients at Stiffwood Hospital, Staffs,...

Mik Bulk 21.04.13 2:04pm
NUT asks Gove : Would You Put Your Hand In The Fire If Dave Cameron Told You To?

Angry teaching unions called on Michael Gove today to "sit in the corner with your finger on your lips and really think about what you just said". The Education Secretary has angered teachers by...

deceangli 21.04.13 12:22pm
Critics not impressed with “London Marathon –the revenge”

Following the highly successful “Boston Marathon– the manhunt”, critics have slated the follow up “London Marathon –the revenge” Rotten Tomatoes have reviewed it saying “No drama, no...

hardev 21.04.13 12:07pm
Illegal immigrant cucumbers wearing hi viz jackets said to be bananas

Bad neat-o...

Not Amused 21.04.13 10:55am
Raiders of medieval music museum only interested in the lute. 0
sredni vashta 21.04.13 10:47am
sredni vashta
Real blood on the cobbles to boost Coronation Street ratings

Social realism is being taken to new heights by Coronation Street bosses following the scheduled move to Manchester’s Salford Quays. For the first time in the Street’s history doors will be open...

Dick Everyman 21.04.13 9:13am
sponge finger